8. “Exile”

8

"EXILE"

TAYLOR SWIFT AND BON IVER

I spent the rest of my time at the course thinking about Kari, hoping she was getting through all her calls. I was a little distracted, but I was the only one out there on a Monday afternoon. I had some time to think about what it would be like having Kari and her family at my house while they were getting theirs repaired.

As strange as it was to even consider not so long ago, I had sort of gotten used to being alone. It had been a while since I had had teenagers in the house and all the chaos that comes with them. I started wondering if I had spoken too soon in offering to let them stay with me.

As I made my way through my round, one disastrous shot after another, it occurred to me how random life was. Sometimes, the universe sends you signs for the direction you're supposed to be going, but if you don't listen, the signs get bigger. Car-sized, one might say.

On the eighteenth hole, a text notification buzzed, then moments later, a second one. I checked for another golf cart behind me, then, finding I was still alone, pulled my phone out of its holder. Anna and Jason were texting in our group chat .

We had FaceTimed the night before and Anna had told us she was still waiting to hear if the research project her co-op had proposed would be approved for funding by the university. My eyes scanned the first two texts before my fingers flew over the keyboard in reply.

Anna: My research co-op budget was approved!

Jason: That's great news, sis. What's next, then?

Oh, honey! I'm so proud of you. You're going to do great things, I know it. My daughter, the oncology researcher!

Anna: Thanks, guys. The research director contacted me a few minutes ago and said we will be ready to begin our next trial as soon as the plan is approved. I'm going to be pretty busy for the next few months, but I'm so happy to finally be a part of something that could change people's lives for the better.

Jason: Not just could. It will, especially with you on the team. So proud of you!

You're going to make history, sweetheart. I wish I could give you a big hug! Have you told your dad?

Anna: …

Jason: Does he even know you applied for the co-op?

Anna: I texted him about it in May and I got a thumb's up emoji. So…

I'm sorry, honey. Your brother and I are insanely proud of you, as are Papa and Meema.

Anna: I know. It doesn't really bother me as much anymore. He's the one missing out.

Jason: Yes he is. I don't even bother anymore. It's not worth the emotional energy.

I wish I were as emotionally mature as you two.

Anna: You're doing great, Mom. You're going to write your book, it'll become a blockbuster at the theaters, and you'll become the next Nora Ephron.

From your lips to God's ear.

We chatted for a little longer about Anna's upcoming clinical trial and the new snag in Jason's current design project, but I didn't feel ready to tell them about Uncle Mike's request. I wanted to focus on Anna's news without turning our conversation into a "me" thing. But by the time I left the golf course, I was pretty sure I knew what I was going to say to Kari when I got home, but first I needed to call my mom.

She answered on the first ring, which she always had. Sometimes it feels like they are sitting by the phone waiting for me to need their help.

After our usual chatter about my morning, my golf round, what she had for breakfast, and which to-do list item my dad had successfully avoided all morning (it's a gift), I filled her in on my conversation with Uncle Mike the day before.

"I'm sorry I'm just coming to you with this now. I called last night, and you were at the food pantry, so I ended up talking to Dad, but I wanted to get your take on this. I'm assuming he told you about my conversation with Uncle Mike?"

"Yes, your dad was eyebrow-deep in one of his smut books when I got home, but he eventually gave me a quick overview on his way to get a snack, the benevolent prince that he is. So? What are you thinking?"

"If I'm being honest, an hour ago, I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do," I admitted. "It's so strange to think I have a six-bedroom waterfront house at my disposal for the foreseeable future, but do I really want to be away from my home for the next few months? And the twins… ugh. It's like losing another piece of myself."

One of the many things I'd always loved about my mom was her ability to sit patiently while I poured out every thought and then sifted through them as she waited.

"It would be really nice to have a change of scenery, though. And the boys are leaving for college in a few weeks, anyway. But after the call I got from Kari this morning, I think I may have already made up my mind. That being said, I wanted to talk it over with you because you understand me so well and I trust your opinion."

"I'm dying to hear what Kari could have possibly said to prompt you to make a decision so quickly."

"Let's just say that the boys have extended her garage by a few feet into their kitchen, and there's a good chance they'll all be staying at my house for the foreseeable future. And we all know how these major construction projects go. Considering the amount of damage she described, it could be a pretty long time, so I'm thinking I may head down to Florida now. Just until they're back in their house. If Kari stays at my house, I know everything will be taken care of, and I can concentrate on myself for a little while."

"Honey, I hate to think you might not be in the same town as us for a few months, but frankly, I'm relieved to hear you're thinking about your next steps; you've been frozen in the same place for so long. It was hard enough on you after Mark up and left out of nowhere. Your Dad and I loved spending all that time with Anna while you got your feet back under you, but… We ll, you've been particularly stagnant since she left for school. For three years, you've barely left the house other than to golf or occasionally do yoga with Kari. You'd always been so active. Social. Fun. I never thought I'd long for a little fake vomit on my kitchen floor. Your Dad and I miss you, honey. We miss the Paige from before that asshat walked out the door and stole your happiness. And you know you can never get around what you've got to go through."

"I know. I know." I shifted in my seat and yanked on the shoulder belt that suddenly felt like it was choking me. "I'm going to go home and check in on Kari. I would rather focus on her life right now."

"Ok, honey. You know we just get worried. But give us a call later. Your dad will be eager to get the details on what's going on with Kari once I get him caught up. Let us know if she needs any recommendations for a general contractor. We still have the number for the company we used when we finished the basement and converted the first-floor den into your dad's ‘man cave' two years ago."

"Oh yes, the man cave. A.K.A. the giant Harlequin Romance library."

"Yeah," she laughed. "No matter what he wants to call it, that contractor took your dad's vision and carried it out beautifully. So, if Kari needs a builder she can trust, I would easily recommend ours. I'll text you his number this evening."

"Thanks, Mom. I appreciate you."

"You're welcome, honey. I'm going to let your dad in on what's going on. He's been hearing one side of this conversation, and he keeps gesturing and whispering. I have no idea what he's saying, but I'm going to go make a late lunch for Mr. Nosey, and I'll talk to you shortly. Funny what he can hear when I'm not asking him to take the garbage out. " She said that last part in a way that made it obvious that it was a reminder of a previous request.

"If he's listening to one side of this conversation, he's probably coming unglued," I laughed. "Have a little fun with him first. Say hi to him for me, and feel free to stop by later if you want."

"Sounds good, honey. Talk to you soon. Love you."