14. “Today My Life Begins”

14

"TODAY MY LIFE BEGINS"

brUNO MARS

S tepping down into my new world, I found myself face-to-face with Uncle Mike and Chris. It never ceased to amaze me how different they were, both in personality and appearance. Where my uncle was tall and thin with a clean-shaven face, brown wavy hair, an easy, breathless laugh, and green eyes identical to my dad's, Chris was… softer. Quieter. He stood at my uncle's side, his freshly shaven head barely clearing his shoulder. His thin, Roman nose crinkled above a wide smile, and his brown eyes sparkled under the glorious bushy eyebrows that had apparently made the rest of his hair hide in shame. They were, of course, both dressed to the nines.

"We are so delighted you're here, Paige!" Chris said, stepping forward first to wrap his arms around me.

I returned the hug. "I'm thrilled to be here. I'm still a little shocked, I'll be honest, but I'm excited to at least spend some time here with you. I really have no idea how long I'm staying, but I plan on exploring as much as I can while I am here."

Uncle Mike, not one to be left out of a hug session, stepped in between Chris and I and enveloped me in an embrace that rivaled a cozy blanket and felt like home. "I am so happy you're here," he whispered as he rubbed my back. "You're in for the adventure of a lifetime. Are you ready?"

We separated a bit, but he gripped my shoulders and looked into my eyes. The love I saw there caused a ball of emotion to bubble up and settle behind my eyes.

"I am," I choked out, and he released me just before my emotions spilled over. I swallowed hard as I looked around for Roxy, who was surely going out of her mind in her new environment.

She was running back and forth across the coarse grass, inspecting the myriad of new smells at her disposal. When she started chasing a lizard that wasn't looking to spend his last moments as a chew toy, we took it as a sign to move our little reunion indoors.

We made our way down the Unilock paver walkway, past the explosion of tropical foliage and expansive stamped concrete patio that surrounded the in-ground pool and hot tub. Uncle Mike held the back door open for us and we all walked into the house. Roxy bounded off to explore the new environment, while I was not quite as impervious to my immediate surroundings.

No matter how often I visited, the sight from the foyer never failed to take my breath away. A custom-painted three-dimensional mural covered every wall in the foyer, down to the other end of the long, bright hallway we were standing in, and continued up the stairs. Hand painted in tropical colors and featuring graceful herons, realistic flowers, and lush greenery, the walls were an endless expanse of art that changed with each new Easter egg I had discovered since it was finished ten years before. Stealthy lizards hiding under leaves. Nests bursting with downy-feathered baby birds, yellow beaks open wide in anticipation of their next slithery meal. Shadows that camouflaged a sleeping squirrel .

The thick, gleaming dark walnut banisters curved up the staircase to my left, and the floors that led to the front of the house shone with a fresh coat of wax. I could see the bay sparkling through the glass-paned door at the end of the wide hallway we were standing in.

Uncle Mike, seemingly immune to the charm he'd lovingly crafted, was the one to break the spell. "Let's go sit in the kitchen. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," I replied. "We drove the last two hundred miles without stopping so we could get here. Let me run to the bathroom real quick. I'll let you decide on lunch while I'm gone."

"You got it, stinker. Grilled cheese and tomato soup work for you?"

"Ummmm have we met? Melted cheese and buttery carbs are my love language."

"Three grilled cheese sandwiches and soup coming right up. You know where the powder room is."

I stepped into the tiny bathroom off the kitchen, and not a minute too soon. My bladder had been protesting against all the coffee I'd been drinking during the final thirty miles of our journey, and was well aware that we'd arrived. After relieving myself, I took a good look in the mirror. The sight that greeted me was familiar, but not at all the same as the one I'd last seen in Madison.

Despite the two-day journey and fitful sleep in an unfamiliar hotel bed the night before, I looked refreshed. My cheeks had a glow I hadn't seen in many moons.

Who am I kidding? Years. What kind of witchcraft is this?

I ran my hands through my newly tamed hair. My pixie cut had returned to some semblance of an actual style. I hadn't realized how much the neglect of my appearance had affected my mental health. It seemed the further I sunk into my apathy, the less I cared about how I looked, and the focus I placed on looking like the Paige I recognized in the mirror, the less I cared about anything else. I had caught myself in a vicious cycle of physical and psychological neglect, but with a few snips of the shears and a few (dozen) strips of wax, I was finally starting to recognize my reflection. I couldn't honestly say my mental state was back to that of the old Paige, but I felt a lightness in my chest that was vaguely familiar. It was fighting for space amid my self-doubt and my anxiety over being neck-deep in the unfamiliar—and it was swiftly gaining ground.

I bent to splash water on my face, then put my hands on either side of the sink and looked myself square in the eyes.

At every pivotal moment of my life, my dad had always given me the same advice. "Take the next right step," he'd say, as if it were that easy. It wasn't until my ears were old enough to listen that I understood.

In that bathroom mirror, I was Paige, but changing. I had taken the next right step and found myself there. Where would the next right step take me?

I was ready to find out.

But first, grilled cheese.