Chapter 14

Fourteen

Finn

O n Thursday, Aria was supposed to come over after work to watch Paisley, but I wasn’t feeling so hot. I’d barely been able to make the microwaveable mac and cheese for Paisley before I lay down on the couch.

Paisley was coloring in her color-by-number book with her glitter and metallic markers. When Aria arrived, I would have enough energy to go to the bar and play. I just needed a few seconds of rest.

I jerked awake when the doorbell rang. “What—”

Paisley giggled. “Daddy. Aria’s here.”

I rubbed my eyes as I swung my legs so my feet rested on the floor.

“You fell asleep.”

“Did I?” I hadn’t meant to do that. The doorbell rang again, but I felt sluggish.

“I’ll get it.” Paisley jumped up and ran to get the door.

“Hey, where’s your daddy?” Aria asked as she came inside.

My head was starting to ache, so I dropped it into my hands.

“He was sleeping on the couch.”

The couch dipped as she sat next to me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just took a nap. I’ll get up in a minute.” I just needed to clean the kitchen, gather my stuff, and drive to the bar. Then play a crowded, hot, loud bar. No problem.

I tried to get up but immediately felt dizzy.

Aria held my elbow. “I think you should sit down.”

I fell back on the cushion because it felt better than trying to stand.

The back of Aria’s cool hand covered my forehead, and I closed my eyes at the soothing sensation.

“You’re burning up,” she said, her voice filled with concern.

“I am?”

“I think you’re sick.”

I tried to shake my head, but it hurt too much to move. “I’m never sick.”

“It’s true. He’s never sick,” Paisley said.

“I’m not a nurse, but you feel like you have a fever. You were swaying on your feet when you stood up, and you were sleeping on the couch when I arrived. Everything’s pointing at you being sick.

“You should lie down.” Aria arranged me so that I could lie back on the cushions. “Do you want me to call in for you?”

“Can you bring me my phone? I’m not sure where I left it.” My throat was so dry.

“I’ll find it and get some water.”

I threw an arm over my forehead. “That sounds good.”

A few seconds later, Aria placed an ice pack on my head and gave me my phone. I dialed the bar’s number and talked to the manager. I apologized profusely. Hopefully, it would help that I never called out when I was sick. If I did, it was for Paisley.

When I hung up, I handed Aria my phone. “You can go home. It looks like I won’t be needing you tonight.”

When the room remained quiet, I adjusted the ice pack and opened my eyes. “What?”

Aria exchanged a look with Paisley. “You don’t look like you’re in any shape to take care of Paisley.”

I waved her off. “It’s fine. I’ve got her.”

“Do you want her to get sick?”

I sighed; she wasn’t playing fair. “Fine. You can stay.”

Paisley cheered, and I winced at the loud noise.

“You want to go upstairs?” Aria asked softly.

“Not yet.” It was too early to go to sleep for the night, and I really wanted to stay with them.

“Let me know if you change your mind or if you need anything.”

“I’m good for now.” I sat up a bit to drink out of the glass of water she set on the table for me.

“What are you working on, Paisley?” Aria asked.

“I’m coloring this book.” Paisley explained how the same page was included twice in the book, one had numbers and one didn’t. She preferred coloring with the numbers so she didn’t mess up, but I liked choosing my own colors. We tended to color our own pages.

“Do you mind if I color your page?” Aria asked me with a nudge to my side.

“Nope.” My throat was still scratchy, but at least I didn’t feel nauseous. Stomach viruses were the scariest things that came into this house.

Aria and Paisley were quiet for a while. All I heard was scribbling on paper and the occasional question about the color of the markers.

I drifted in and out of consciousness. I liked listening to their voices. It was soothing, and it was nice that Aria was here to help.

At some point, I turned on my side to face them, but I couldn’t open my eyes. They felt too heavy for that. I should probably have taken some pain medication, but it felt like too much to sit up and ask Aria to get it for me. I’d do it soon.

“Did you know that I draw cartoons?” Aria asked a short time later.

“You do?” Paisley asked, her voice filled with wonder.

Aria laughed. “Want to see some of my drawings? I always carry a sketchbook in my purse. Let me get it.”

I was surprised she kept it with her at all times. I wanted to see them myself, but I couldn’t lift my head.

I heard some rustling, and I sensed that they were sitting next to each other to look at the images.

“These are my attempts at facial expressions. I like to get the emotions just right. When you tell a story through pictures instead of words, it has to be obvious if the character is sad, happy, angry, or whatever.”

“That’s so cool. These look like real cartoons.”

“I think I read somewhere that you should draw the oval or circle for the face and then these lines before you draw the eyes, nose, or whatever. You can make a character identifiable by giving them a particular nose or hairstyle.”

“I never even thought of it that way.”

“I had a lot of time to myself as a kid, and I’d look at the cartoons, examining what made them unique. Was it the images or the words that made them funny?”

“Which was it?”

“I think it’s a little bit of both, but graphic novels don’t have to be funny. They can be a range of emotions, just like any characters in a chapter book.”

“I love graphic novels.”

“Me too. What do you like about them?”

“I have a hard time picturing what things look like. The pictures help with that.”

“You want to know how I play with emotions and get them just right?”

I didn’t hear a response, but Paisley must have nodded her assent.

“I look at myself in the mirror and experiment with different expressions. I read somewhere that the cartoonists for film studios do that for their movies.”

“Really? That’s so cool.”

“It’s pretty silly. There were all these pictures showing the cartoonists doing the facial expressions in the mirror next to their sketches. Let’s try it in the bathroom.”

The girls moved away, but I heard them giggling and discussing the best way to look happy and angry. I loved that she was showing Paisley something important to her. I bet she didn’t show many people her drawings.

After that, I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, Aria was nudging me awake. “Do you want to drink some water and take some medicine for your fever?”

She helped me sit up and handed me the glass of water.

I felt hotter than before and achy. “Yes, pills would be good. They’re in the cabinet next to the microwave.”

“I’ll get it,” Aria said as she stood and made her way to the kitchen.

“I’ll sleep here tonight,” I said when she returned with two red and blue pills.

“I can help you upstairs. Do you mind if I sleep in the guest room?”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I want to. What if Paisley needs something in the middle of the night? Or do you want me to call Naomi?”

“I can call her tomorrow if I’m not better.” I swallowed the pills with the water and set the glass down. Just the act of sitting up and swallowing some pills had zapped the small amount of energy I had.

“Let’s get you to bed.” I let Aria help me to stand.

The walk up the steps and to my bedroom was longer than usual. Every step felt like a mile. When I was finally able to sit on the bed, I fell back.

“Do you want me to take off your clothes?” Aria asked.

I smiled, or at least I tried to, and said, “I’d like that, but I’m too tired to appreciate it.”

“Your eyes are closed.” I could practically hear the frown in her voice.

“Are they? I’m so tired.” I rolled over because it felt good.

I felt the brush of a blanket over my body, and then I was out.

When I woke, the light outside was bright.

Paisley. I was supposed to get her to school.

I was still warm but not as hot as I was the night before.

“Oh good, you’re up,” Aria said as she came into my room.

“Paisley,” I said, my throat almost too sore to speak.

“I drove her to school. She told me where to take her and everything. Don’t worry. We figured it out. I called Naomi, and she said she can pick up Aria from school and keep her until you feel better.”

“Thank you. I’ll text her.”

“I think you should take tonight off and go back to everything tomorrow if you’re feeling better.”

“Yes, nurse.”

“I brought some broth and more pain pills.” She helped me to sit against the pillows before placing a tray on my lap.

“I could get used to this.” I sipped the warm broth, pleased it soothed my throat.

“I brought a cool cloth. May I?”

I nodded as she raised her hand and patted the cool cloth on my neck.

“That feels nice.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you more meds. I didn’t want to wake you. Every time I checked on you, you seemed to be sleeping okay.”

I raised a brow as she sat next to my hip. “You checked on me?”

“I said I would.”

“Honestly? I don’t remember much from last night. Other than you showing Paisley your drawings.”

She blushed and looked away. “You heard that?”

“I was surprised you showed her and not me.” There was no censure in my voice, just curiosity.

“I guess there’s no judgment when a child looks at your work. She’s not going to say I’m not good enough.”

“You think I would have judged you?” I asked, surprised.

Aria sighed as she pulled the cloth off my neck. “Not you in particular. I’m just used to keeping it to myself.”

“Well, I’d like to see them one day.” I finished the soup and pushed it away.

“Time for meds.”

I swallowed them down and rested back on the pillows.

“You should rest.”

When she went to leave, I grabbed her wrist. “Can you stay for a bit?”

Aria frowned. “Of course.”

“You didn’t need to go to work today?” I asked, glancing at the clock, which read nine-thirty.

“I called out. Ireland would have come, but she had to meet with a couple today.”

“You didn’t need to do that. I would have been fine.” Although I wasn’t sure I could have gotten up to get the pills and food.

“I don’t mind.”

I was enjoying her being in my space and taking care of me. “I can’t thank you enough for being here.”

“It’s what friends are for, right?” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’ll probably head home in a bit and be back for dinner.”

I had to address what happened. Otherwise, it would always be between us.

“It wasn’t a onetime thing for me.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, but I needed her to know that it meant something to me.

Aria’s back stiffened. “You mean what happened at the bar?”

At my nod, she stood abruptly, fluffing the pillows behind me, and then grabbed the tray from the nightstand. “I don’t see how anything between us is possible. I’m friends with Ireland now. She’s my roommate, and she’s important to me. Paisley is too.”

“I know that.” But what about us? How could we ignore this attraction between us and what happened?

“Nothing can happen,” she reiterated with a stubborn set of her jaw.

“Do you want it to?” There was something off about her declaration. Either she really didn’t want to do it again, or she was just telling herself that.

She looked away from me. “It doesn’t matter what I want. I was—we were impulsive that night. We didn’t think about the consequences.”

“Who cares what anyone else thinks?” I got that she didn’t want to upset my sister, but I was fairly sure she’d be happy for us, as long as I didn’t hurt Aria.

“Gia has that rule about coworkers sleeping together.”

I barked out a laugh. “You’re kidding, right?

Her face flushed. “She’s serious about it.”

“Yet she somehow overlooked Abby sleeping with Nick, who was the best man at one of our weddings, and Everly and Harrison.”

“The rules were created after Abby and Nick hooked up, and Everly and Harrison had been friends for years.”

“Gia’s rules are ridiculous, and you know it,” I said, desperate to get her to see it my way.

“I need this job. I don’t want anything to get in the way. Especially now that I’m living with Ireland.”

“Is she charging you rent?” I’d be surprised if she was.

She set the tray on the nightstand and paced the room. “She’s supposed to. But she won’t tell me how much she pays or what the utilities are.”

There was a reason for that. Ireland didn’t want to charge her. If she did, I knew it would be far less than fifty percent. Ireland didn’t see her apartment, but we’d talked about Aria’s living situation. She wanted to help her.

Aria shook her head. “You can’t possibly understand.”

I sighed. “I know this job is important to you, and you need money to help your family.”

“So you understand that I can’t do anything that would jeopardize my job, no matter how silly the rules are.”

I wanted to reach out to touch her, but I felt so weak, and I suspected she wouldn’t appreciate it. “I get that.”

“Thank you.” Then she picked up the tray as if to go.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you want something else.”

Her shoulders were stiff. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“It should, though. Your wants and desires should come first.”

“That’s selfish. I’ve never been like that.”

“Maybe it’s time you were.” This had nothing to do with us. I had a feeling she never put herself first. She worried about her parents and her sister. She tried to make a better life for them, but what about what she wanted?

If I wanted her, and I did, I needed to go about this a different way. I needed to be her friend.

“Ireland’s stopping by this afternoon to check on you, but she has a thing tonight with Gia. Something about a new venue.”

“Will you keep me company?” I didn’t feel well enough to scrounge up something to eat, and I liked having her in my space.

She gave me a short nod, and then she left.

Suddenly exhausted, I turned over on my side and closed my eyes.

She was pushing me away, pretending what happened between us wasn’t a big deal. For the first time in forever, I was going to ignore the signals a woman was putting out. Because there was zero chance I wasn’t pursuing her. Just as soon as I felt better.