Chapter 13

Thirteen

Aria

H ow did I find myself in Finn’s SUV a day after he screwed me senseless up against a wall? For the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I could have refused to go. Maybe. I wasn’t sure I could say no to Paisley.

Then Ireland stepped in, and she was someone I couldn’t argue with. She had this way of manipulating a situation to get you to do exactly what she wanted, but you still felt good about going along with it. The thing was, she had pure intentions. She wanted to spend the day with her family and me.

Somehow, we hadn’t discussed me contributing to rent and utilities. Anytime I brought it up, she skillfully changed the discussion to something else, and by the time I remembered what I asked her about in the first place, it was too late to bring it up.

We pulled into the half-full parking lot in front of the stadium.

When Finn parked, Paisley unhooked her seat belt, opened the door, and said, “Come on.”

We piled out and walked the short distance to the entrance where we were given tickets for food.

“Want to eat first?” Finn asked.

Everyone agreed, and we got in line for hot dogs and soda. When the attendant handed us the food, we sat in the front row behind the first baseline.

Finn kicked up his feet and took a large bite of his hot dog. “This is the best seat in the house.”

“But you can’t catch foul balls here.” Paisley gestured at the large net separating us from the field.

Finn nodded as he chewed thoughtfully. “That’s true. Definitely something to consider.”

“You go to a lot of baseball games?” I asked, curious to know more about him.

“We hit a few minor and major league games each year,” Finn said before taking another large bite of his hot dog.

“They’re fun. I love the hot dogs and the popcorn.” Paisley sipped her soda.

“What about the baseball? You like that?” Ireland asked, her tone amused.

“Eh,” Paisley said, setting her soda in the cup holder and unwrapping her hot dog.

“I hope she will grow to enjoy the game so I have someone to go with me,” Finn said.

“I’ll go with you, Daddy,” Paisley said in a sweet voice.

I think my heart melted at the look Finn gave her in response. I had a feeling he’d be happy to go with her to a princess ice show, as long as he was with his daughter.

When we finished eating, Paisley asked to get ice cream. We’d seen a sign for one free scoop as we walked in. We stood in line, ordering one scoop for everyone when we reached the front.

“Everyone’s carrying bobbleheads. Where are they getting them?” Ireland asked.

The merchandise store was nearby, but I couldn’t see any bobbleheads for sale.

“I’ve never seen bobbleheads for sale at a stadium. They’re always used as promotional items and given away,” Finn said.

Next to the ice cream stand was a game with a small line. A child dropped a plastic coin down, and it traveled between the pins until it rested on a spot labeled with a certain number of points. When it landed on a thousand, the woman went into the back and came back with several orange boxes, baseball hats, cups, and wristbands. “Are those the bobbleheads?”

“Is she giving them away as prizes?” Ireland asked Finn, her tone incredulous.

“I want one,” Paisley said to her father.

“Let’s find out.” Finn grabbed Paisley’s hand and pulled her over to the line.

Finn held his hand out for her ice cream cup. “You should go first.”

Paisley took the coin from the attendant, her tongue between her lips as she concentrated, and placed it to the right of the one thousand slot. The coin hit each pin, going right and then left before landing on one thousand points. “Yes!”

The woman handed her the bobblehead and then moved off to the side.

“How did you do that?” Finn asked Paisley.

“I watched the person in front of us and put the coin in the exact spot.”

Ireland and I exchanged a look before she said, “That was smart.”

“You want to try?” I asked Finn, knowing he was eyeing everyone else walking away with the bobblehead.

“I love bobbleheads, and this particular player doesn’t play for Baltimore anymore. I like him.”

Ireland sipped her soda. “The lady is giving everyone something, and they’re good prizes.”

This time, we all got in line. I won a bobblehead, Finn got a hat, and Ireland got the wristband.

As we walked away, Ireland said, “I can’t believe they’re giving away all this stuff. They’re selling this same hat at the store next to it.”

“I wonder if they just had too much in stock.” We moved off to the side, and I watched as the attendant returned with another stack of bobblehead boxes.

“The bobblehead is for a player who was traded to another team, so they can’t use it anymore.”

“But the hats? It’s a good deal,” Ireland said.

“I want a bobblehead.” Finn dropped Paisley’s hand, giving me his hat, and then asked the attendant if he could play a second time. When she nodded, he took the coin and dropped it on the board. It bobbed this way and that before hovering on a pin above one of the two one-thousand spots. The lady jostled it, and it fell into the slot.

“Can I have the bobblehead? I already got a hat,” Finn asked, and I couldn’t help but think he sounded like a kid.

When she gave it to him, he held the box over his head in victory. I felt a little ridiculous, but we cheered for him anyway.

Finn joined us, took Paisley’s hand, and said, “Now, let’s go play some of the other games.”

We walked across the stadium to the game area. There were a couple of ball toss games, a bounce house, a slide, and a carousel. There weren’t any prizes for these games, so we stayed back as Paisley played the ball toss. The attendant ran around, catching the fallen whiffle balls.

“This is a great event. It’s a good way to bring in people, even ones who don’t necessarily like baseball,” Ireland observed.

We watched for a few minutes, and then Finn asked Ireland, “Can you watch Paisley for a minute? I want to show Aria something.”

“Of course,” Ireland said as she raised a brow in his direction.

Finn took my hand and led me down the steps of the stadium and out onto the field.

“What did you want to show me?” I asked him, my heart thumping from the memory of the last time he led me somewhere.

He took the steps that led onto the field. When we stepped onto the grass, he said, “I wanted to show you this.”

It was just a minor league field, but it felt massive, standing in the outfield. “This is cool.”

“When do you ever get to stand on a baseball field like this?” he asked, his voice filled with awe.

“Never.”

He refocused his gaze on me. “Did you play?”

I slowly shook my head. “No.”

There was no money in our family’s budget to support any activities or buy the equipment. I hadn’t even asked my parents, not wanting to upset them. But Iris begged to do dance. They finally relented to a class, but once they found out about the dance outfits and shoes she’d need, they made her drop out again. That was when I vowed to save enough money so that when Iris asked for something, she’d get it.

He handed me a glove. “I bought this one for Paisley, but it was too big. It should fit you, but it may be a bit snug.”

I slid it on and squeezed it closed. “It seems okay.”

“I thought we could toss the ball for a bit. Or at least until the others find us.” His voice was hopeful; I couldn’t say no.

“That sounds like fun.” I was truly up for anything with Finn today. This was his family’s outing, and I was determined to make the best of it without remembering anything about what happened last night.

Finn stepped closer, and to anyone else, it looked like he was talking about the glove, but he said, “I wanted to talk about last night.”

My heart rate picked up. “We don’t have to.”

“It was the single hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Was he saying the sex was good, or was it the fact that it was in public that was the draw?

“But I wanted to let you know that there are no cameras in the bar. The owner told me that when he gave me the tour. He said the VIP guests don’t want them there.”

“They don’t even have security cameras?” I asked, my tone dubious.

“Nope. And I looked around after you left. I didn’t see anything.”

“That’s good to know. I was a little worried we’d made a sex tape last night, and I don’t think it would do wonders for my career like it does for celebrities.” I laughed, but it felt a little strained. I wasn’t sure what to make of this Finn. The one who appeared to be seducing me instead of irritating me.

Surprising me, Finn tipped his head back and let out a laugh. I was mesmerized by the line of his throat until he dipped his chin, and his eyes met mine. “I like you, Aria. I vowed never to get involved with anyone, but I can’t resist you.” Then he continued without waiting for me to respond. “Want to throw the ball?”

I shrugged, almost grateful he’d let me off the hook. My throat felt a little tight, but I managed to ask, “Why not?”

He took a few steps back and tossed the ball lightly to me. I caught it easily and threw it back. My throw was a little wild, so he came over to me, standing with his chest to my back, as he moved my hand in the correct motion.

“Like this.” His low voice rumbled through my back and into my chest.

“Uh-huh,” I said, only letting out the breath I’d been holding when he returned to his previous position and held up his glove.

This time, I mimicked his motion, and the ball landed with a satisfying thud in his glove.

He smiled. “That’s it.”

His praise warmed my body.

We tossed the ball back and forth for a few minutes. When he was confident I could hit his glove, he stepped back, creating more distance between us. “You’re a natural.”

“I’d have to be, seeing as I never played before,” I teased, enjoying this time with him, outside his sister’s prying eyes.

“Was there anything you wanted to do as a kid? A sport or an instrument?”

“Not really. I never let myself want those things, you know? When the recorders were passed around, I said I hated music, so the teacher wouldn’t send one home. It was just assumed that everyone could afford it. It wasn’t much, but I never wanted to stress my parents or make them feel like they weren’t doing enough because they were. They loved us so much and wanted us to have everything. It would have killed them to know they couldn’t provide for us.”

During my explanation, Finn moved close to me. “You didn’t tell them what you wanted because you didn’t want them to feel bad when they couldn’t give it to you?”

“It happened when I was a little older and more aware of what was going on with them. I never wanted them to feel as if they weren’t good enough.”

He flipped the ball in the air and caught it before he said with his jaw tight, “I hate that you went through that, and you weren’t free to be a kid.” Then he cleared his throat before continuing, his gaze meeting mine. “But you’re kind of amazing, you know that?”

I laughed to pass off my discomfort at his observation. “I did what any kid would have done.”

His expression serious, he said, “Most kids are completely self-centric. They don’t care about whether their parents have money or understand if there isn’t enough of it.”

“Oh, I saw that at a young age. There wasn’t enough food—” Then I stopped, not meaning to reveal that much about my past. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.

“Like I said, amazing.” He cupped my chin but backed away when Paisley came running across the field, yelling, “Daddy! Daddy!”

Finn winked at me before turning to greet his daughter.

We stood in the form of a square to toss the ball around. Ireland must have been used to it because she was easily able to toss the ball back to us.

The team’s mascot walked around the field, posing for pictures and signing balls. It was a beautiful day, and I was enjoying myself when I didn’t think I would. Last night hovered on the edges of my mind, but I was able to push it away and focus on Finn, Paisley, and Ireland.

If Ireland suspected anything was going on between us, she didn’t let on. If she did, it would make for an awkward roommate situation.

We took pictures of Finn and Paisley with the mascot when he came around and then played for a little while longer. When the event was over, we headed back to the car with our stuff.

“Thanks for coming with us today. It was fun,” Finn said as we headed back to Annapolis.

“We spend most Sundays together. It’s my only time to see Paisley,” Ireland said.

I wondered if I was going to continue to be invited to these family outings or if today was a onetime thing. Maybe they didn’t want me to feel left out. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to get any closer to them. Not after what I’d done with Finn. I’d crossed all the lines that had been set, boss-employee, coworker… It was bad. But it didn’t feel wrong.

Oddly enough, it felt good. Right even. Like I’d finally done something that was entirely mine.

Finn dropped us off at the curb in front of Ireland’s apartment. He got out, but Paisley stayed in the car to say good-bye. Finn hugged Ireland and then thanked me for coming. We waved to Paisley and headed inside.

“I’m glad you came,” Ireland said.

“Me too. I had fun.”

“I figured we could eat dinner in front of the TV,” Ireland called as I headed to my room.

“Sounds good.” But I needed to lie down for a bit. I had a dull headache. I thought it was from pretending that everything was normal and that Finn’s dick hadn’t been inside me last night.

Acting like nothing happened was starting to take its toll. I felt like I was lying to Ireland. Logically, I knew it wasn’t something I had to tell her, but I still felt guilty. She was my friend, and I was living with her.

When Ireland called for me from down the hall a couple of hours later, I washed my face and joined her. “I meant to help with dinner. Sorry, I fell asleep.”

“No worries. I made quesadillas and rice. Easy peasy.”

I took the offered plate and fork and sat on the couch. “So, you spend every Sunday with Finn and Paisley?”

Ireland sat next to me and clicked on the TV. “On the Sundays he has her, so it’s more like every other weekend. It’s the one time I can spend with her. The shared custody is great, but the reality is, we only see her half the time. I know it bothers Finn not to be with her more. That’s why he originally asked Naomi to marry him.”

“Would he still marry her if she was willing?” I asked, bracing myself for her answer.

Ireland laughed and shook her head. “No. He knows that wouldn’t work. Besides, she’s engaged.”

I felt relieved to hear that, which was ridiculous. Finn wasn’t mine and never would be.

“They have a great relationship.”

Was this uncomfortable sensation in my chest jealousy?

“I want to see Paisley, but I like to give them time to themselves too. Finn works a couple of nights a week and has weddings on Saturdays. Sunday evening is really their time to spend together.”

“That’s nice.” I loved that he had that, but I felt bad he didn’t get to see more of Paisley.

“It’s funny because he never believed in relationships, so we were all a little shocked when he got Naomi pregnant. Obviously, he didn’t intend to, but it threw him for a loop. Here was this guy, who didn’t believe in anything permanent, and he was having a child.”

“He still doesn’t believe in anything permanent?” I asked carefully, hoping she wouldn’t see through me.

“Not outside of Paisley and his family.”

“That’s sad.”

Ireland used her fork to play with her rice. “When you grow up like we did, you’re wary of relationships. I’ve seen how they end, and it makes me hesitant to want something more than causal.”

“I haven’t had much luck in the relationship department either. I thought I was serious about someone once, but then he decided I didn’t fit into his world.”

Ireland’s eyes widened. “What does that mean?”

My shoulders tightened. “He was a trust funder. He worked for his dad at his firm. His parents had high expectations for him and his future wife. I didn’t fit into those plans.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“It’s fine. We weren’t a match.” When we broke up, I wasn’t that upset. I was hurt that I’d been put in my place again, but then I’d been stupid to think I could be in that world. He was right. I didn’t belong there.

“Still. I can hate him for you. Girls stick together.”

It was nice to finally have a friend I could confide in. One who I wasn’t worried would judge me for my background.

“You know we’re trust fund kids, Finn and me. Grandma wanted to make sure we went to her alma mater and had enough so we could pursue our dreams and weren’t limited. We don’t like to dip into the trust fund unless we have to. I’ve never needed to, but Finn used some of his for his house. He couldn’t afford one on a teacher’s salary. He has every right to use that money, but he prides himself on supporting his family.”

“That’s commendable.” At the same time, I knew what it was like to grow up without, and I didn’t see any shame in using the money you were given.

“It’s always there as a backup, so I don’t need to worry, but it feels good to support myself. I saw so many of my stepsiblings over the years get used to the money, and then when the divorce happened, the money stopped. I didn’t want to be dependent on it.”

“That makes sense. I can’t imagine growing up like that, moving from house to house.”

Ireland gave me a sad smile. “You get used to one stepparent and siblings, and then they’re gone. But it only made me and Finn closer.”

I nodded. “You guys have a great relationship.”

“You’re close with your sister, aren’t you?”

“Mmm. She’s quite a bit younger than me—six years, so it wasn’t quite the same. I felt more like a caretaker than her older sister.”

“Well, you’ve got me now,” Ireland said with a smile.

“Thank you for letting me move in.” I felt safe and secure each night I laid my head on my pillow, and I loved having company when I came home from work.

“I love having you here. Are you ready to watch a show?” Ireland asked.

We settled on the couch, our plates on the coffee table in front of us. I wouldn’t do anything to ruin our friendship. I just hoped Ireland never found out what happened between me and Finn.