Chapter 10

Ten

Finn

I still couldn’t believe that Aria was living with Ireland now. It was safer, and I felt better knowing she was in a good situation. But at the same time, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of loss. Which was crazy because Aria and I weren’t anything.

Even if I thought we’d made a connection after that one wedding, it was just a moment in time. It didn’t mean anything.

Last week, I’d given Ireland and Aria space to figure out their friendship and living situation.

I had a wedding today, and then I was looking forward to picking up Paisley on Sunday morning and having her all week. My good mood had nothing to do with Aria babysitting this week. I only saw her for a few moments, so it wasn’t like we spent much time together.

Tonight’s wedding had been at a church with the reception at a hotel ballroom. I was surprised the couple hired me to do the first few dances, but now, the DJ had taken over. He went old-school with the chicken dance, and now he was encouraging the groom to take off the bride’s garter.

The music was loud and pumping. I kind of hated it.

I found Aria in a back corner, leaning against the wall. I leaned down and said into her ear, “Are you telling me this is romantic?”

Before I could pull away, she rested a hand on my chest, the warmth searing me through my button-down shirt. “I didn’t say the garter was romantic.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re telling me that as much as you love weddings, you don’t like the traditional throwing of the bouquet and garter?”

Aria laughed, and it felt good to know I did that. When she sobered, she tapped a finger on her chin. “Hmm. I love when the bride throws the bouquet. It’s a great tradition. But the garter? It could be romantic without this kind of music maybe. And with a little less innuendo from the DJ on going higher .”

I moved to stand next to her so I could see the activities. Technically, I was done for the night, but I wanted to talk to Aria.

“Does the bride really want someone’s hands up her dress in front of her family and friends?” I asked her, determined to keep the conversation flowing.

“It’s her husband up her skirt, but yeah, it’s awkward.”

I moved closer so no one would hear our conversation. “Can I expect that you won’t be doing the garter at your wedding?”

I leaned down so that Aria could whisper in my ear. “Don’t say anything to the couple, but there’s nothing about this wedding I like. I preferred Remi and Colton’s ceremony in the woods. That was more romantic than a hotel ballroom.”

“Right? What’s up with these ornate carpets and heavy curtains?” I gestured around.

Aria laughed. “It’s completely over the top.”

“So, you agree it’s too much?” I prompted.

“Oh, it’s definitely too much. We had a hard time decorating. The room is too big, the curtains too everything, the walls too high. It’s hard to make it an intimate, romantic space.”

“Because it’s not.”

I paused and looked at him. “Wait. Did we agree on something?”

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to me. “I think we did.”

“I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Me either.”

Then we looked at each other and erupted in laughter.

When we sobered, my stomach hurt a bit from laughing. “I think if we tried harder, we could find more things we agree on.”

Aria gave me a wry look. “I think most people find the garter awkward.”

I pointed at the dance floor. “This part is even worse. The lucky guy who catches the garter gets to place it on the thigh of the woman who catches the bouquet. Do they even know each other?”

“Does it matter? So many hookups happen after weddings with guests and the wedding party.”

I sucked in a breath at the idea. “Have you ever hooked up with the best man or a groomsman?”

“First of all, that’s against the rules, and no, I’ve never even thought about it. When I’m at a wedding, I’m working.”

“What about other weddings you’ve been to?” I asked, curious about her history. I figured she was a relationship kind of girl, but I’d been wrong about her in other ways.

“I haven’t been to many. My cousins couldn’t afford big weddings.”

“When I hit twenty-five, all my friends started to get married, and growing up, there was always a cousin or random relative who was. Not to mention our own parents.”

“Gosh. I hadn’t thought of that. You have been to a lot of weddings. You must be an expert at this point.”

“I’m smart enough to know never to do it myself.”

“You know it’s not about the wedding, right? The couple is in a relationship, and they want to be together forever. The wedding is just a public declaration of that. A celebration.”

“Are you sure the couple, or at least the bride, doesn’t just want the wedding?” I asked, pulling out a chair at a nearby table for Aria to sit.

She immediately kicked off her shoes and let out a sigh. “There’s some of that, I’m sure. But I think the brides want the happily ever after. They believe in the fairy-tale ending.”

“And you do too?” I asked, angling my chair so I was facing her.

Aria scanned the room, probably on alert in case there was anything she needed to do. “I love the idea of other people finding their significant others.”

That was interesting. “You believe in it for yourself?”

Everyone was by the dance floor or sitting at the tables surrounding it. We were alone in our corner. This was the time of night that we could kick back and relax.

Aria’s eyes met mine. “I don’t know. My parents love each other. They have a great relationship. But they aren’t technically married. I love the romanticism of a wedding, but I’ve never imagined my own. You don’t need to marry someone to love them forever.”

“But you have that binder of ideas?”

“I compiled that when I interviewed for the position. I wanted to show Gia my design ideas. It wasn’t something I did for myself personally.”

“You’ve never dated someone you thought you could marry?”

She chewed her lip. “Maybe the last guy. He was a lot like you. Had a trust fund, went to private schools, and I got a little lost in that world.”

“A lot of women want to marry a man with money,” I said bitterly.

Aria gave me a sharp look. “That wasn’t me. I liked him, but, in the end, he said I would never fit into his world. When we broke up, I realized how much I’d assimilated into his life and lost focus on what I wanted and what I was working for. I won’t do that again.”

I hated that what her ex said was probably true. Aria was too sweet, too idealistic for the circle I’d grown up in. “You lost yourself?”

“I wouldn’t say that exactly. I just lost sight of what was important,” she said thoughtfully.

“I wonder if that’s what my parents did. They were always chasing something they couldn’t find. Or thought they did and then tried again.”

Aria leaned close. “I don’t know what motivated your parents, and I’m sorry their decisions affected you and Ireland.”

What she said was so simple but so sweet. I don’t think anyone had ever said that before. “Thank you.”

She smiled at me then, and it was like everything fell away. I wanted to kiss her. The only problem was we were at work, and anyone could see us.

She wouldn’t want to date me after her ex. I was too similar to him.

She looked away, and the moment was gone. The bouquet and garter were done, and the DJ was playing slow music again. The dance floor was full.

Harper walked by with Gia’s brother, Leo. Her hair was mussed, her cheeks flushed, and Leo looked pleased with himself. I think he’d come tonight to help Gia with something, but now I was wondering if they’d hooked up in a spare room somewhere.

Harper waved to us. “Come on, guys. Let’s dance.”

“Isn’t that for the guests, not us?” I asked

“Have some fun. Gia won’t mind.” Harper grabbed Leo’s hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. She placed his hand on her waist.

Aria stood and held out her hand. “Come on. It will be fun.”

I stood, my lips twitching. “I thought you don’t believe in all the stuff.”

“I said I didn’t see marriage in my future, but I’m still a romantic at heart. I love to see other people fall in love.”

I took her hand and let her lead me to the dance floor next to Harper and Leo. My heart contracted when she moved close. I’d had professional dance lessons, but nothing prepared me for having Aria in my arms.

There was nothing professional about how I felt with her standing so close, her hair brushing my chin. Her scent floated around me, pulling me in.

Aria wasn’t who I thought she was. Initially, I thought she cared about appearances, but I think she was trying to hide her background. That she didn’t have a lot of money, and she struggled. But she had nothing to be embarrassed about. I admired her.

And it was sweet that she wanted other people to be happy. I might not agree with the idea that marriage made anyone happy, but I couldn’t fault her optimism. She wanted the best for others. And she wanted that despite how she’d grown up. Which I suspected wasn’t the same as me.

“How does it feel to be a guest for a few minutes and not the planner?”

Aria looked up at me. “I think I’d prefer dancing outside of Lily’s barn, but it’s still nice.”

“I have to agree with you there.” I leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but this wedding is so expected. The same one you’ve been to a million times. Or at least I have. An outside wedding is more unique.”

“I think we agree on a lot of things when we get beneath the surface.”

I twirled her around, and when she came back to me, I said, “I’m not sure about that.”

She rolled her eyes. “You insist on being contrary.”

“I don’t know about that either.” Maybe I did when I was around her. It was an excuse to engage with her, to get her talking, and to spend time in her orbit. Which I liked, and now that she was living with Ireland, there wouldn’t be other opportunities to see her except at the weddings I played and when she babysat.

I enjoyed having her in my arms. It felt right. Her warmth, her citrus scent, and her sweet smiles. I always thought I preferred cynical people like me, but there was something about her eternal optimism that drew me in. I felt lighter in her presence. “How are things with your apartment?”

“I’m officially done with it. The landlord let me out of my lease and returned my security deposit.”

“That’s good.” That lifted some of the weight off my chest. I’d been a little worried she’d move back there because she didn’t want to impose on Ireland.

“There’s nothing wrong with living there—”

She let her words hang in the air, but I didn’t want to interrupt because I wasn’t okay with it.

“But I’m ready to move on. I’m anxious to live differently.” She ducked her head. “And I’m a little ashamed to say that Ireland’s helping me get there. I always wanted to do it on my own.”

I swiped a strand of hair off her forehead so I could see her eyes, which were downcast. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with accepting help. That’s what friends are for.”

“I’ve never had friends I could move in with. I guess I’ve kept mostly to myself.”

I had a pretty good idea of why that was. If she was trying to keep her living situation a secret, it would be tough to make friends. Eventually, friends wanted to know where you lived, and when they found out, they would want to help you. She’d need to get used to it because now that she was on the Evanses’ radar, we’d always step up. “You deserve better than the hand you were dealt at birth. Let people lift you up. We know you’re not using us.”

She smiled softly. “I’m working on it.”

“You go out of your way for your family. How is this different? For some of us, we’re closer to our friends than to our parents.”

Aria sighed and smiled softly. “That makes sense. And I have to say, I’m in love with Ireland’s place. It’s so quiet, close to the water, and a short walk to the downtown. It couldn’t be more perfect.”

“I’m happy for you.” I had a feeling she felt relief in her surroundings because she finally felt safe. I wanted that for her. She deserved it.

Another song started up, but neither one of us made a move to pull away.

“Outside of weddings, what do you do for fun?” I asked, wanting to talk about something else.

“I love to draw. I play around with facial expressions. It sounds silly, but I’ve always been fascinated with drawing emotions on faces.”

“Are you good?”

She laughed. “I have no idea. I’ve never shown anyone.”

“You’re kidding.” I paused. In my circle, any talent or advantage was explored through lessons and education.

“I’ve never felt brave enough. It’s just something silly.”

“I don’t think art is silly.” It was one thing my mom adored. Ireland and I loved to accompany her to museums. We’d listen while she talked about the history of the painter, the style, and the colors. The story behind the image was more fascinating to me than the painting itself.

Her gaze found mine. It was assessing, as if she were ascertaining whether what I said was true. I squeezed her lightly and lowered my face. “I think you know by now that I say what I mean. I don’t sugarcoat things.”

She let out a laugh. “That’s true.”

“I’d love to see your sketches sometime if you want to show them to me.”

She bit her lip. “Maybe.”

She wasn’t sure about me, and I got that. I was a new friend, but I wanted something more. I had no idea what because I wasn’t looking for any kind of relationship. All I knew was that I liked her. She intrigued me in a way no one else ever had.

The women I met in school and in my parents’ charity circles were either born wealthy or wanted to marry into it. They were after one thing—my trust fund. As a teacher, no one knew about any of my past, and I liked it. I wanted people to like me for who I was, not what I could give them.

It’s why I’d only ever dipped into it for the house, and that had been for Paisley’s benefit, not mine.

“Have you ever thought about doing something with it? You could illustrate books. I know someone who attends conferences and draws images to help the attendees remember what they learned later. I forget what it’s called.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Yeah, there are all kinds of opportunities out there for creative minds. Maybe I see more of it because I’m in music and surrounded by other creatives.”

“I’m happy where I am now, but I’ve thought about creating a graphic novel. Telling a story through images. The thing I love most about it is that some kids are hesitant to read. My sister was. And it was only when I introduced her to graphic novels that she gave reading a chance. And there are so many options out there, more than when we were kids.”

“I love that.” What a great story. She’d helped her sister become interested in reading, and now she wanted to do the same for other kids. Aria was the perfect woman. Great with kids. Artistic. Ambitious. Yet at the same time, she was down to earth and cared about her family and friends. She was everything I shouldn’t want. Because women like her deserved the world, and I wasn’t willing to give it to anyone.

As we fell silent and got lost in the music, I wondered if I could be that guy for her.