Chapter 23

Twenty-Three

Harrison

I fucked up royally. I knew it before Everly walked out, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from spewing angry words. I’d pushed Everly away because I felt like I was going to come out of my skin. I needed space to breathe. And I said the most hurtful thing I could think of to get it. Her father didn’t want her.

Every time I remembered, I was horrified all over again. I needed to make it right, but at the same time, I wouldn’t be able to relax until I confirmed Wren was okay.

Jackson told me to sit tight until Monday. If Lola didn’t return her, he’d file an emergency motion for custody first thing in the morning.

What if Lola took Wren and moved her out of state, or even out of the country? I’d heard horror stories about that very thing in the news. In a state of panic, it seemed like anything was possible. I was spiraling into negative territory, and it was all my fault because I’d pushed away the one person who’d always had my back.

Wren was aware that she was supposed to be with me, and she was a rule follower. She probably felt torn between her mother and me. Was she upset with me? What was her mother telling her? Was she worried she’d get in trouble? The worst part was, I couldn’t reassure her.

She didn’t even have a phone. What if she needed me? The anxiety and the unknown were crushing.

I barely slept or ate anything. My parents showed up Sunday afternoon and cooked me dinner, forcing me to eat a few bites.

The only thing that helped with the excess energy was pacing. I was afraid to leave the house to go for a run just in case Wren called or Lola showed up with her. I’d left one voice mail and sent a strongly worded text, per Jackson’s advice. But otherwise, he told me not to talk to her.

The communication was solely between the attorneys, but Lola wasn’t speaking to hers.

Lola thought she was in control of this situation as the mother and because I’d never challenged her before. She could do anything she wanted and get away with it. That no judge would ever take Wren from her. But I wasn’t so sure. The way Jackson described it to me, she was thwarting a court order, and judges didn’t look kindly on that. I was grateful that Jackson insisted we submit our agreement as an order to the court to sign when we drafted it. Lola must not have understood what that meant.

We had one other option that Jackson said not to pursue because we didn’t want to scare Wren. But we could have gone to the police with the order and forced her to hand over Wren. I didn’t want to do that either. I just wanted Lola to do what she was supposed to.

“Are you going to tell us where Everly is?” Mom asked as she was cleaning up dinner.

I ran a hand through my hair, the pain spearing my heart all over again. “I screwed up.”

“What are you talking about?” Mom asked, whirling on me from her task of washing pots and pans.

“I needed space. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do about Wren.”

“So, you took it out on Everly, the woman who’s supported you from the beginning?” Mom asked, her tone incredulous.

“You know it’s not like that.” My protest sounded weak.

“What did you say to her?” Mom asked.

I let my head fall back and closed my eyes against the memory of the pain on her face when I’d inflicted the most hurtful words imaginable. “I don’t want to repeat it. I’d be okay if I never hear those words again.”

“Harrison Cain, what did you tell Everly to make her leave?”

It was never good when my mom first- and last-named me. “I told her”—I drew in an unsteady breath and let it out—“her father didn’t want her, so she wasn’t any help in this situation.”

Dad sucked in a sharp breath. “Jesus. What were you thinking?”

“He knew exactly what to say to inflict the most pain. Isn’t that what we do to the ones we love the most? We push them away,” Mom told Dad.

I let my head drop into my hands. My head throbbed with a constant tension headache since I’d learned that Lola had picked Wren up from school early on Friday. I didn’t argue with Mom because it was the truth. I’d hurt Everly intentionally to push her away. I hoped she could forgive me. But I wasn’t so sure she could.

“You need her,” Mom finally said softly.

I lifted my head to meet her concerned gaze. “Maybe in that moment, I didn’t want her to see the mess my life was. I wanted to handle it myself.”

“Son, there’s no shame in leaning on someone else.”

“This entire time—” Should I tell them the truth? That none of it was real? That we concocted this plan to get Wren? “None of it was—”

“What are you trying to say?” Mom asked, leaning closer.

“Jackson thought it would be better if I was dating someone—” I let my words hang in the air between us.

“What are you saying, son? That your relationship with Everly—”

“Wasn’t real.”

Mom waved a hand at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, it was real.”

“I asked her to move in with me, to pretend to be my girlfriend. I know it was a stupid thing to do. Risky even. But I’d do anything to get Wren. It’s not an excuse. Especially not with how I treated her.”

Mom’s voice lowered to a dangerous level. “Explain this to me. Because from where I’m standing, it was real. You can’t fake these kinds of feelings.”

“Somewhere along the way, it felt real. Lines were blurred.” My parents didn’t need the sordid details. “I love her. But I don’t know if anything would have happened between us if I hadn’t forced the issue.” Maybe she’d feel differently now that she had her own space.

“Are you sure that’s what happened? Because you two have been in love with each other your whole lives. If you had to concoct some crazy story about needing a fake relationship to finally see what you mean to each other, I don’t know—” Mom broke off, her voice shaking with emotion.

“I don’t know anything anymore. Just that Wren is gone. And Everly is too.”

Dad stood, slapping his thigh. “You fucked shit up royally.”

“Language,” Mom snapped.

Dad rarely swore, and never in front of Mom, so it was a testament to how upset he was. “I want my granddaughter back.”

“I’m working on it, Dad.”

“And I want Everly back. I love that girl. And I’m so angry that you hurt her. How could you say something like that to her? However you started out doesn’t matter; you mean something to each other.”

I met their gaze. “I love her. She’s my everything.”

“Then start acting like it,” Mom said, frustration making her cheeks pink.

I’d asked her to marry me. I said the words she needed to hear. I built her a dream library. I supported her in starting her own business. Did one ill-advised comment erase everything else?

“You want to go through life on your own?” Dad asked.

“No.” This sucked. Sure, I had my parents, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted Everly here, her reassuring words wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. I needed her.

Mom threw up her hands in frustration. “What are you going to do about it? Because I’m not seeing anything from where I’m standing.”

“You need to get your head out of your ass,” Dad added.

“What am I supposed to do?” I felt like I was walking a tightrope with Wren on one side and Everly on the other. Almost like I couldn’t have both or have it all. I don’t know. It was mixed up in my head.

“Fix it,” Mom said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Fix it how? I can’t take back what I said.”

“You start with an apology, and then you continue to grovel from there,” Mom said reasonably.

“I’d go bigger, though. This requires something more,” Dad said thoughtfully.

Like some grand gesture. But I’d already built her a library. What else did she need?

My phone buzzed with a notification from my email. It was a message from Jackson. The emergency motion was attached to the email, but the message said he’d file it first thing in the morning, and I needed to be prepared for a hearing that day.

“Jackson’s saying there will be a hearing tomorrow if a judge is available.”

“Because it’s an emergency?” Mom asked.

“That’s right. I’m not—I wasn’t prepared for this to happen so soon. I’m—”

Dad sat on the couch. “You need Everly.”

“Shouldn’t I be able to handle things on my own?”

“There’s no shame in having a woman by your side,” Dad said reasonably.

“There’s no rule that says you must do things a certain way. And you two have always leaned on each other,” Mom’s voice softened.

Dad rested a hand on my shoulder. “Start with an apology. You have this thing with Wren to resolve first. Then you can think about the rest.”

“I need to talk to her. I need to see her.”

“Go,” Mom said. “We’ll clean up and let ourselves out. Remember to eat tonight. You’ll need your energy for tomorrow.”

I kissed Mom’s cheek and squeezed Dad’s shoulder. It was a weak plan, but it was a start. I couldn’t let Everly think that her father didn’t want her. It might have been true, but that was his fault. He was the asshole. Not her. She shouldn’t be wasting any more time on someone who didn’t see her value.

Did she see me as someone who didn’t know what she was worth? Panicked now, I grabbed my keys and headed across town to Everly’s apartment. She lived in a nondescript apartment complex with square brick buildings. I didn’t know how she’d lived here for so long. But I could only imagine she’d let her father’s absence and her mother’s vitriol get to her. She didn’t think she was worth more. But she was. She deserved everything. And I needed to figure out a way to tell her.

I lifted my fist to knock on her door. The curtains were drawn, which was odd for Everly’s place. It wasn’t much, but she kept it decorated nicely with fresh flowers and cheerful curtains that were always open during the day.

Worried, I knocked again harder.

Finally, the door slowly opened. Everly answered, her clothes rumpled, her cheeks puffy like she’d been crying. “What are you doing here?”

Something eased inside my chest. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. I need to talk to you.”

Suddenly more alert, Everly asked, “Is Wren okay?”

“I haven’t heard anything. Jackson’s filing an emergency motion for custody first thing tomorrow, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“It’s not?” Everly bit her lower lip.

“I needed to see you. To make sure you were okay. I need to apolo—” Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I looked around to see if anyone was listening. “Can I come in?” I felt stripped down, and I didn’t want to have this conversation outside where anyone could hear us.

She hesitated, and for a second, I was scared she wouldn’t let me inside. Finally, she pushed open the door. Inside, I took in the messy kitchen with dishes in the sink and food on the counter, the curtains drawn.

“Are you okay? I said some things I shouldn’t have.”

Everly stood by the door, her arms crossed over her chest. “You sure did.”

“I didn’t mean what I said. I was lashing out. Pushing you away.”

“Why?” Her eyes filled with pain.

I wanted to ease it, but I couldn’t. She was rigid, her arms crossed over her body in a protective gesture. She wasn’t open to me touching her. “I said the one thing that would ensure you walked away. I felt like I needed to handle the thing with Wren on my own.”

“Why? I wanted to be there for you. That’s what a relationship is, unless you don’t think of us as being in one. Unless this entire thing has been fake from the beginning.” Everly’s shoulders were slightly rounded as if she felt the need to protect herself from my response.

“It was real for me. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I knew it for sure, but I love you. That’s real. Our friendship is real. The future I want to build with you is real. I shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I’d say I didn’t want to hurt you, but that would be a lie. Hurting you was the intended effect.”

Everly shook her head and laughed. “At least you’re honest.”

“I’m being real with you. Open and honest.” I wasn’t sure if it would make a difference.

She fell silent, her lips in a stubborn line.

“Can we sit?” I hadn’t slept or eaten much. I felt like I was going to collapse. “I need to.” I moved into her living room, hoping she’d follow.

She did, but she remained standing in the doorway.

“I’m so sorry. Who cares what your father thinks? He lost the right to that when he left.” I waited for Everly to agree like she always had, but she didn’t.

She sat next to me, her expression solemn. “I went to see him.”

“You did what?” I couldn’t believe she’d done that. “By yourself?”

“I had to. You said what you did, and I had this sudden compulsion to see him for myself. To confront him. To get the answers I needed.”

I almost couldn’t breathe while I waited for her to continue.

Everly nodded. “He lives with his new wife, Sarah, and their two kids, who are fifteen and seventeen.”

“And?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The Everly I knew would never have talked to him. It was almost like she held on to his betrayal and used it to fuel her anger and resentment. No matter how much I wanted her to have closure, I wasn’t sure she’d ever take that step.

“I need to thank you. Because you’re the reason I went.”

“That was all you.”

“I couldn’t get your words out of my head, and I had to know why it was so easy for him to walk away.”

“And what did he say?” I was almost afraid of her answer. Had he hurt her even more?

“He didn’t walk away. I mean, he did, but he wanted to take me with him. Mom refused. He wanted to visit me, but she pushed back.”

“She lied to you.” I couldn’t believe her mother had stooped so low. She’d complained about what a horrible father he was, how he’d abandoned them both, when she was the one keeping them apart. It was despicable.

“He had this box of letters and cards. All unopened and marked return to sender .”

I wanted to cover her hand with mine, but I held back, unsure how she would receive me. “They were for you.”

Her tear-filled eyes met mine. “He hadn’t forgotten me. He never stopped loving me.”

“But—” I was afraid to burst her bubble, but I felt like I had to say something. “He could have done more. Gone to a judge, to court, demanded he get visitation.”

“He said he knows that now. But he was a recovering alcoholic, and she said she’d use it against him. He didn’t think he had any options. He just hoped she’d come around.”

I sighed, some of the tension easing. There was relief in finally knowing the truth. I hoped she felt that too.

“And she never did.”

I shifted to rest my elbows on my thighs. “Have you talked to her?”

Everly shook her head as she pulled a used tissue from her pocket and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m not ready, but when I do, I’ll be telling her I’m done with her. She kept my father from me. My sister and brother.”

“I’m glad you finally got some answers.”

“I have a family.” Her eyes welled with tears, and I hated that I’d hurt her. I’d cut into the wound that had never healed. The one that said she was unlovable and unworthy of a family.

“You have us too. Me and Wren.” It sounded like a consolation prize after what she’d just described.

Everly’s gaze flickered to me and then away.

My heart sank. I was already too late. I’d done irrevocable damage; I’d acted like her mother, throwing out horrible words intended to hurt their target. The person I was supposed to love. What if it wasn’t fixable? “I’m happy you talked to your dad. And that he wants to have a relationship.”

“He said he wants to get together. Make it a regular thing. Introduce me to my siblings.”

“I think that’s great. You do deserve everything.” Someone better than me, with less baggage and fewer issues. Maybe someone without a kid.

Everly sighed as she stood. “I’ll help you get Wren back. Whatever you need me to do in front of the judge tomorrow.”

“You’d do that?”

She spun to face me. “I love you. I want Wren to be with you. It’s what she wants.”

Was it too soon to ask for more? I felt shaky. The whole thing was unbelievable. With one wrong sentence, I’d ruined everything I’d built with Everly over the years. I knew I could hurt her by attacking her self-worth, and I did it so callously. “Can I make it up to you?”

Her mouth opened, then closed.

“No. Don’t answer that. I’m going to fix this. I’m going to mend what I tore apart because I love you. I need you in my life, and I won’t take no for an answer.” I wasn’t sure where this unfaltering determination was coming from, but I hoped it worked.

Her brows rose at my tone.

“I’m going home to eat and get some sleep. I have a big day tomorrow. I hope you’ll come home to me, to us, and that you’ll give me a chance to prove to you that I’m the man for you.”

She didn’t answer, and I’d said everything I could for now. I wasn’t sure what I could do to fix this, but I needed Wren back. Then my head would clear, and I could think about the possibilities. Right now, my focus had to be on my daughter.

Her hands fluttered uselessly around her face. “I think I just need to process everything. You said what you did, and then I saw my father for the first time in eighteen years. I have some things I need to say to my mother.”

We both had things we needed to figure out.

“I want to be there for you, and I’d like you to be there for me.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow, standing by your side.”

That’s all I could reasonably request. For now, anyway. I wanted so much more, but I needed to give her space and the time to process everything she’d gone through this weekend.

“I’m proud of you for going to see your father. That was brave.”

“It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done. But after what you said you did, I had to know.”

“Not saying that what I did was good, but I’m glad you reconnected with your father and that he might be a part of your life now.”

Everly walked me to the door. “You know, I think he will be. And I’m not afraid to hope for it.”

I wanted to hug her, soothe her somehow, but I assumed it wasn’t the right time yet. Instead, I kissed her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I didn’t look back or ask her any more questions. I believed her when she said she’d be there for me. I just hoped she was open to something more.