Chapter 17

Seventeen

Everly

T he day at the gardens was magical with the lights, music, the rainbows at the water fountains, and Harrison, who took every opportunity to hold my hand or gather me in his arms. It felt like we were in a long-term relationship.

It seemed like he was trying to tell me something with that conversation in the truck, but I wasn’t sure what. He seemed to couch our relationship in terms of an arrangement, reminding me that it was fake.

Or maybe it was my brain reminding me of what this was—a temporary situation for Harrison to get what he wanted. Although, he’d offered me something in return, a place to stay while I established my business. I couldn’t kick the nagging feeling that I needed to be careful.

On Monday, I gave my two weeks’ notice at work, which surprised my manager. She said she never thought I’d leave, which was telling. Was I the type to stay in a job forever? To never want anything else?

I didn’t want to be that person. It motivated me to work even harder on the business in the evenings. I wanted to make this my reality. For the first time, I was hopeful about the future.

Harrison had been extra busy with work, maybe because of the holiday season, I wasn’t sure, but he’d been holed up in his office or working with Ethan on some super-secret project he hadn’t shared with me.

I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. All I knew was that he wasn’t around for breakfast or most nights for dinner. It gave me more time to work, but I missed him. I’d gotten used to him cooking breakfast and us eating dinner together.

Maybe the shine of our relationship had worn off. He wasn’t as enamored with me being here.

On Wednesday night, Wren was with her mother. She’d get Thanksgiving morning, and Harrison would get the evening. Then Wren would go back to Lola’s on Friday morning. It sucked, but I was grateful Wren would be with us for his family’s dinner.

I planned to spend Thanksgiving with my mom. I wanted to invite her to Harrison’s family’s celebration. I knew it would be fun. Much better than spending it with my mom or alone, like I had every year after Dad left.

For my mom, Thanksgiving was the beginning of the end for us. Dad left shortly after, and our holidays were never the same again. I used to blame him, but now I thought it was just depressing to dwell on it. We should have moved on a long time ago.

I was up early Thursday morning. I needed to get to my mom’s to cook her a meal, but Harrison was still asleep. I left him a note, telling him I’d see him later at his family’s celebration.

I carried the groceries I bought to make a small Thanksgiving meal into my mom’s apartment. Opening the door, I was met with darkness. I knew better than to assume she was still asleep. She never opened the curtains and rarely ventured outside. She ordered groceries on an app and wallowed in her misery.

Today was no different. The curtains in the living room were drawn shut. No lights were on.

I set the bags on the counter, going back out to my car to get the rest. Not able to stand the darkness for another second, I asked, “Why is it so dark in here?” I moved around the room, opening one set of curtains, then the next.

Mom sat in her armchair in the living room, the TV playing in the background, but no sound was on. “You know why.”

“No. I don’t.” It was a gray day outside, but still, how could she stand not having the blinds open?

“Your father left us,” Mom said, bitterness creeping into her tone.

I barely stifled my responding groan. “He left a long time ago. I think it’s time for us to move on.”

“You obviously have. Moving in with Harrison, parading around town with him.”

When I moved in with Harrison, I’d texted to let her know. I avoided phone conversations with her as much as possible because she never failed to bring me down. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“You’d be stupid to think he’ll stick around,” Mom huffed.

I paused at the last window in the living room. How many times had I heard this? Had it embedded itself into my subconscious so that I never had a committed relationship with a man? Had her words, her bitterness, held me back?

I felt cold all over. Had that filtered into my work too? I’d stayed at a job that didn’t fulfill me. I’d played it safe.

“I think he’s going to propose,” I said carefully, needing to prove her wrong. It wasn’t real, but I wanted it to be.

“What are you going to say?” Mom asked.

“I’m going to say yes.” My jaw was set. That was the plan all along. Jackson needed Harrison to be engaged for the custody case to be successful. I wouldn’t stand in the way of him getting Wren more often, even if it hurt to think of it as fake.

Mom’s head whipped around. “You can’t be serious?”

“We’re living together. It’s serious.” That was the truth. This thing between Harrison and me felt more real than anything else in my life. Even if it carried the label of being fake. It started out that way, but then I’d always had feelings for him. Living with him only intensified them.

Mom’s face screwed up. “You can’t trust him.”

I spun on her. “Dad hurt you. He hurt me too, but it doesn’t mean that everyone will.” But did I truly believe that? I faltered at the venom I saw in her eyes.

Looking away, she said, “You didn’t learn anything then.”

“I’m not willing to be bitter about it anymore. If we allow him to change the filter through which we view the world for the rest of our lives, then he wins. And I’m no longer willing to stand by and be a spectator in my life. I’m going to live how I want to.”

Mom leaned forward. “Have you spoken to your father?”

“No.” That much was true. I knew where he lived, and occasionally, I stalked him on social media. But not lately. I didn’t need to see him happy with his other family, the one where he had a son and another daughter. It hurt too much. I wouldn’t subject myself to that. And what could he possibly have to say to me?

“I just can’t imagine where this is coming from.”

“Things are different with Harrison. He makes me see there’s more to life than how I’ve been living.” Keeping my distance from people so no one can hurt me.

Mom was quiet, staring at her hands.

I felt ignored, and maybe that was the point. It made me try again to get her attention. “Can you say you’re happy living like this? Just because Dad left doesn’t mean you can’t move on with someone else. Or, hell, just be happy living on your own. Why do you let that one betrayal ruin your life?”

Mom sniffed. “Are you finished?”

I looked away, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. “Do you still want me to cook you a meal?”

“Do you have time for me anymore? Don’t you need to get back to your happy family?”

I knew what she was trying to do. Manipulate me into staying. I felt guilty when I was around her for wanting something different. But I didn’t want to feel like that anymore.

The only thing that had me moving toward the kitchen and unpacking the bags was the fact that my relationship with Harrison wasn’t real. We were playing an elaborate game of pretend. At the end of the day, my mom was the only family I had. “I’ll cook. But then I need to head to Harrison’s for dinner.”

Mom didn’t respond, just kept her gaze on the TV, the captions scrolling across the bottom.

“You’re welcome to go with us.”

When Mom didn’t answer, I sighed and got out the small turkey breast. It should only take about two hours to cook. I could prepare the sides in the meantime, eat by lunchtime, and be out of here by the afternoon with enough time to get to Harrison’s family’s house.

I seasoned the turkey, placing it in a throw-away container I’d bought. I wanted to make cleanup easy for Mom. She couldn’t handle much. Someone came in and cleaned her apartment once a month. From the looks of it, she needed them to come more often. But that was all I could afford. And frankly, I was tired of taking care of her. She was an adult. She should be taking care of herself.

While the turkey was cooking, I peeled the potatoes. It was a mindless, soothing activity. I found myself imagining what next Thanksgiving would be like. Would I still be living with Harrison? Would my business be successful?

When I allowed myself to imagine being with Harrison for real, I felt great. We worked together during the day and saw Wren every other week. It was perfection. The vision put a smile on my face as I worked.

“You’re happy.”

I looked up from the bowl of way too many peeled potatoes to find my mom watching me.

“I am.” There was a buzzing in my chest. I loved Harrison. Not as a friend but as my lover. My confidant. My everything.

And I couldn’t regret it because it had always been him. Living together in proximity only brought everything to the surface. It was almost as if we were fated. And I was done being scared or holding myself back. I wanted to grab hold of my new life with both hands and hang on as if my life depended on it. Because it did.

If I continued down the path of little to no risk, not putting myself out there, I’d end up like my mom, bitter and unhappy. I wasn’t okay with that. Even if things with Harrison didn’t work out, or if he didn’t feel the same way, I was a different person. I wanted a home of my own. A successful business.

Taking charge of my life meant not keeping things from my mom for fear of what she’d say or think. “I quit my job. Put in my two weeks’ notice on Monday.”

“Do you have another one lined up?”

“My business. I’ve been creating invitations on the side, working with Gia at Happily Ever Afters. It’s steady and enough to cover my living expenses. But I’m hoping to grow it into something amazing. This will give me the time to do that.”

“That’s a huge risk.”

I could tell from the tone of her voice that she thought I’d made a colossal mistake. I expected no less from her. It was the reason I’d stayed in my dead-end job for so long.

“I think it’s the beginning of something amazing.” I smiled despite her negative words and her sour face. I didn’t need to take in her opinions and mood. Everything outside of this condo was bright light and possibilities. I wouldn’t let her bring me down.

“I don’t know where I went wrong with you.”

I laughed. “I think I’m finally doing what I was meant to do all along. We’re not meant to live protected, safe lives. We’re meant to go out there and break down barriers and live our passions. And this is mine. I’m going to see where it takes me.”

“You’re going to fail.”

I laughed. “The only one who fails is the one who doesn’t try, or maybe the one who quits. That’s not going to be me. Besides, Harrison supports me.” I knew that was the wrong thing to say as soon as it was out of my mouth.

“Harrison supports you. Are you even listening to yourself?” Mom asked with venom in her voice.

I paused, the potatoes in the bowl, the ingredients for the other sides I’d planned on the counter. I washed my hands and turned to face her. “I’ll set the timer. I know you can make dinner. You used to before Dad left.”

Mom winced. “You’re leaving?”

I smiled, feeling lighter than I ever had. “Yeah, I am. If you want to make some changes, go to a therapist or venture to a grocery store, I’m happy to help. But only if you keep your bitterness and negative comments about my life to yourself.”

I set the timer for the turkey, grabbed my purse, and left. I didn’t need her in my life. It was all up and up from here. No more negative predictions and comments. No more setting the tone for the way I viewed the world.

Just because my dad made a decision that hurt our family didn’t mean that all people were destined to hurt us.

At home, there was a note saying that Harrison went to pick up Wren and would head straight to his parents’.

I made myself a quick sandwich with lunch meat, lettuce, and tomato. It wasn’t what I’d planned for the day, but this was so much better. There was no one to bring down my mood. I always thought I dreaded holidays because my father left between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but now I suspected it was my mother’s bitterness.

I visited my mom on the holidays because I felt guilty for the way things had gone down when I was a kid. But she was an adult, able to handle her own emotions. I didn’t need to subject myself to someone who couldn’t handle life. She wasn’t my responsibility.

I used to blame my dad for the way she’d changed, but it was her fault. She could have recovered and become stronger from her experiences. Instead, she let it take her down.

Feeling freer than I had in forever, I cleaned up and headed to the master bedroom to get dressed. I was going to Harrison’s parents’ house and wanted to look nice. Their holiday celebrations were a stark contrast to my mom’s.

I picked a green wraparound dress and flats, knowing I’d offer to help cook and clean up. I didn’t want my feet to hurt from standing. I was looking forward to spending time with Harrison’s family and seeing Wren.

Pulling up to his parents’ house, I felt like I belonged. Sage, Harrison, and their father were stringing lights around the columns on the porch. Smiling, I got out, and Wren ran toward me. Had she ever been like this with me before? Or was it more now that I was living with her father, acting as his girlfriend?

“Happy Thanksgiving,” she said into my chest.

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Did you have a good morning?”

“Mom wasn’t feeling good. She said the baby kept her up all night.”

“She’s pretty far along in her pregnancy. I’m sure she’s having a hard time sleeping and getting comfortable.”

We headed toward the porch, my arm around Wren.

“Lola thought it might be the start of labor,” Harrison said with a kiss.

“Are you serious? I thought she wasn’t due until next week?”

“A week early is fairly normal, especially for a second baby,” his father said from his perch on the ladder.

“Do you need any help?” I asked them.

“Mom probably needs it. As you can see, her daughter is no help,” he teased, and Sage cuffed him lightly on the side of the head.

I laughed at their lighthearted banter, eager to spend time with his mother in the kitchen. It would be so much better to cook with someone else who enjoyed it and to make a meal for a large group.

“How was your visit with your mother?” Harrison asked, his voice softer.

I grimaced. “It was more of the same. I didn’t stick around.”

“You didn’t eat with her?” Harrison asked.

I shook my head slowly. “She wasn’t good company.” But then she never was. “I wanted to spend the day with you.”

“We can head over to your mom’s later if you want.”

“She’s content with how things are.” She was happy being miserable. I just wasn’t going to subject myself to her anymore.

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“It’s great, actually. Let me go help your mother.” I went up on tiptoe, kissing him on the cheek. Love and happiness flowed through me along with gratitude for his family in my life. He’d saved me when I was a kid, and he kept doing that by just being here.

Harrison squeezed my shoulder as I turned and entered the house. In the kitchen, I said, “Happy Thanksgiving,” to his mother and his grandmother, who was sitting at the table, snapping the ends off the green beans, before washing my hands.

“How was your visit with your mother, dear?” Gran asked.

“She’s still struggling with the holidays. I hope she can see there’s another way to look at things,” I said as tactfully as I could.

“Have you finally decided she needs to do that on her own?” Gran asked, her gaze shrewd.

I nodded. “This morning.”

“Good for you,” Gran said with a nod.

Mabel assessed me for a second before adding, “You have a family in us.”

Tears pricked my eyes as I crossed the room to hug her.

Mabel patted my back. “I need some help peeling potatoes.”

I smiled, pleased we were moving on from talk of my mother. “That’s what I’m here for.”

It was different here in Mabel’s bright kitchen, the gourmet island a dream to prep meals. Holiday music played from a speaker resting on the counter, and scented candles were lit throughout the house, giving it a warm glow.

“I just love the holiday season,” Mabel said, humming along to the music.

“You know, I do too.” I’d always been sad this time of year, but I didn’t have to be. My parents’ actions didn’t affect my life anymore. I was moving on, and if my mom couldn’t do the same, then she’d be left behind.

I prepped the sides with Harrison’s mother, enjoying our time together. She told me about mishaps at past holiday celebrations, and I laughed, enjoying being with her.

She was like a second mother to me.

“I think it’s time for football.” Mabel nodded toward the window facing the backyard. Sure enough, Sage and Harrison were lobbing a ball back and forth.

“You go ahead. I’ve got the rest,” Mabel said.

“Are you sure?” But I was already washing the scent of onions from my hands.

“Go on now. Enjoy the rest of your day,” Gran said.

“Thanks for letting me help,” I said, kissing Gran’s cheek.

When I moved to Mabel, she said, “Any time, Everly. We love having you here. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you and Harrison are together. It’s like a mother’s dream come true. You’re like a second daughter to me.” His mother surprised me by enveloping me in a hug.

“I love your family too,” I said, a little stunned by her emotional reaction.

When she hugged me, I couldn’t help but think about what would happen after. Would everything change? Would she think badly of me?

I pushed away those thoughts, determined to enjoy the rest of the day.