Chapter 16

Sixteen

Harrison

O n Sunday morning, I suggested going to an estate known for its gardens and holiday lights. It was early in the season, but I wanted to do festive activities with my girls. It was a two-hour drive, and the tickets were expensive, but I thought they’d enjoy it.

In the car, Wren watched a movie on her tablet with headphones. It wasn’t the place to talk about what transpired between me and Everly this week. As much as I wanted to, Wren was all ears when anyone was talking. She loved to know what was going on and tended to eavesdrop.

“I’m thinking about quitting my job,” Everly said.

I quickly glanced over at her. “What now?”

She grinned. “You heard what I said. Is it crazy?”

Focusing on the road, I said, “Not at all. But is that what you want to do?”

“I ran the numbers, and I can manage it. Barely.” Her tone lost some of the excitement.

“If you let your lease lapse, you’d have more money.”

Everly gave me a look because I’d momentarily forgotten we had an arrangement, and our living situation wasn’t permanent.

“Other than my apartment, my car is paid off. I’ll need to research health insurance plans.”

“I can help you with that.” I’d gone that route a few years ago and knew the ins and outs.

“Is there anything else I’m not thinking of? I don’t need a lot of supplies. I have a computer, printer, and art stuff.”

“You still have an online shop?” I asked her, remembering she’d talked about one.

“I recently switched over to selling from my website. It was simple enough to do.”

Pride surged through me. “For you, maybe. I can’t figure out website design.”

“It’s always come easily for me. The shop isn’t expensive to maintain. Gia helped me adjust my prices to cover printing. Now I’m making a good profit.”

From what I remembered, Everly sold templates online. Invitations she’d created to be mass produced. She handled custom orders, but those mainly came through Gia’s referrals. It was easier to meet with someone in person, although virtual meetings were becoming more commonplace in business. “I’m happy to take a look at the numbers.”

“I don’t know if I should do it. It’s so scary not to have that guaranteed paycheck.” Everly’s tone was steeped with uncertainty.

“That’s true, but you’re already established. You have a baseline of income you’ve come to expect, and you can increase output if it was your full-time job.”

Everly sighed. “I keep telling myself that.”

“And I’ve seen your designs. They’re gorgeous. You should price even higher for custom designs. Your time is worth money.”

“It’s good to know that I have other options.”

“My business is different. I offer a service. I have to purchase and store the items to rent.”

She rested her head back. “That’s true.”

I wanted her to have whatever she wanted. I looked back at Wren, whose ears were still covered, and then said, “In the beginning, I said I wanted you to get something from our arrangement. Right now, you’re helping me, and I’m not giving you anything in return.”

“I’m living with you.”

“You’re still paying for your apartment. I’ll support you if it’s what you want to do. If you find you can’t afford the apartment, then let the lease lapse and move in officially.”

“That wasn’t the plan.”

I gripped the steering wheel tighter. “Plans change. Let me do this for you. No matter what happens, you have a place with me.”

Everly slowly let out a breath. “Yeah, okay.”

“Does that help with your concerns?” I looked over at her, needing to know if she was okay with my suggestion. I wanted to take care of her.

“Like I said, I mean, my car is paid for, so it’s just the apartment and insurance.”

I reached over, interlacing my fingers with hers. “Let me help. Just until you’re on your feet.”

She looked away.

“What are you thinking?”

She bit her lip. “I want to do it. I kind of hate my job. I don’t have a mean boss, and everyone’s nice, but I’m not happy.”

It was what I’d suspected for a while. “You’re not using your creative brain at work.”

Everly chuckled. “To be fair, I sketch designs in my spare time.”

“But you want to be doing more.”

“Quitting will allow me to take on more clients and have more space to create. It’s the perfect solution. I can’t believe I’m really going to do this.” Her face filled with excitement.

I squeezed her hand. “I’ve got you, Everly. I want you to do this.”

She smiled at me. “Thank you. I don’t think I would have felt safe enough to take this leap without you.”

“That’s what friends are for, right?” The words felt like ash on my tongue. Why had I said that? Come to think of it, during this conversation, I’d mentioned our arrangement being temporary and the fact that we’re friends. I was screwing everything up. I was supposed to be convincing her we could be more, not reminding her of what we weren’t.

Hopefully, I hadn’t blown everything. Maybe she was so fixated on her business that she hadn’t noticed the slip.

I could feel her gaze on the side of my face before she looked away. She probably thought the worst of me. That I could have sex with her and compartmentalize everything. So that when this was done, I could walk away. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“Have you thought about what your ideal day would look like?” I’d listened to a billion business podcasts when I was starting out, and this one always stuck out to me. I wanted to be there for Wren if she was sick at school. My work gave me the freedom I needed, and I wanted the same for Everly.

She smiled, resting her head on the seat. “Hmm. Wake up like we did on Monday morning, make breakfast, and then maybe go for a walk or work out, come back, shower, and start work. Gosh, there’s so much more time when you don’t have to commute to work.”

“Or get dressed up.”

Everly snorted. “Like it’s so hard to throw on a button-down and slacks? You don’t have to worry about your hair or makeup.”

I smoothed the hand that had been holding hers over my hair. “Hey, I worry about my hair.”

She laughed. “I’m sure you do. Vain much?”

“What? It’s okay for a woman but not a man?”

“Ugh. You’re impossible.” She held up a finger. “And don’t say I know you are, but what am I.”

“I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Sure, you weren’t.”

We were quiet for a few seconds before I asked, “You have enough room in the guest room to work?”

“I have the desk, but I’ve always wanted a drafting table. It tilts.” She pulled one up on her phone and showed it to me.

“Why don’t you get one?” I asked her.

“Did you see the price?” Her tone was incredulous.

I glanced over at it again and winced. “Ouch.”

“Exactly. Maybe once the business takes off.”

“Sometimes, you have to buy things that make your work better or easier. You can’t skimp on everything. And marketing’s important. Don’t just rely on Gia.”

“She’s been so helpful, and she’s amazing at it.”

“She is. But you want to bring in your own clients too. That way you won’t have to share in the commission, and the customers are loyal to you.”

“I hate to think that this thing with Gia might not work out.”

“It’s a big part of my business too, but I’m thinking about branching out to other rentals, not just outdoor tents and weddings.”

“That’s smart.”

“Start off simple and easy and increase as you go. I get inspired, whether it’s listening to a podcast or just talking to a client. Maybe I don’t have something the client wants, and I have to decide if it’s worth it for me to get it. Will enough people need it? Is it cost-effective?”

“I never thought of myself as a businessperson.” Everly’s voice was soft.

“You are now. You know, we should celebrate.”

“Yeah?” she asked, smiling at me.

“We should go out.”

Her face tipped to the side. “To a fancy dinner?”

“Don’t you want to?” I asked, looking over at her.

She smiled before looking away from me. “That would be nice. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date.”

I couldn’t remember her talking about one either. Seeing the sign for Longwood Gardens, I pulled off the highway.

Observing the cars and people walking toward the main building, Everly said, “Wow. This place is busy.”

“We used to come here for the Christmas display when we were kids. I have fond memories of it, and Wren is finally old enough to appreciate it.”

“Are we here?” Wren asked, taking off her headphones.

“Looks like it. Grab your hat and gloves. It’s cold, and some of the displays are outside. They decorate the trees, and there’s an outdoor train garden and even a musical water fountain.”

“Cool.”

I breathed a sigh of relief that Wren seemed excited. I worried she’d be less interested in certain things as she grew older. But as she matured, she seemed more interested in things like this and shopping.

I followed the parking attendant to an open parking spot, and we got out, pulling on extra layers before we followed the crowd inside. I grabbed Everly’s gloved hand. It had become a habit, and it had nothing to do with appearances.

“I didn’t realize how popular this place was,” Everly said.

“People drive from all over to see it.”

“We did,” Wren observed.

Inside, we passed customer service counters and the gift shop to get in line. It was a timed entry, and the tickets were on my phone. Once the attendant scanned the tickets, we went through the doors to the gardens.

Everly grabbed a map and opened it. “We could go to the Duponts’ house or the conservatory. Or there’s the train.”

I gestured to the path. “The water fountain is right here. There should be a show starting in a minute.”

“Let’s do that,” Everly said as we headed in that direction. A large crowd had already gathered.

Everly moved in front of me to preserve space when more people gathered. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight to me. Whispering in her ear, I said, “I like this.”

I hoped to rectify my poor choice of words in the truck, but I was telling the truth. I enjoyed these excursions with Everly and Wren. I could almost pretend we were a real family. I could see us doing things like this more often.

I could envision us spending Thanksgiving and Christmas together. We’d introduce Everly to our traditions. We’d take family photos in front of the tree in matching pajamas, Wren barely able to contain her excitement, and us drinking coffee while Wren opened her presents. I wanted to share the joy of the season together. But I also wanted the other days too. The ones where we didn’t do anything more than go to work and cook dinner at the end of the day. My heart expanded and contracted. I wanted that more than anything.

I didn’t want to walk away at the end of this. I could only hope Everly felt the same way.

Finally, the show started. The water sprayed up in time with the holiday music, creating rainbows in the sky. It was magical. I enjoyed watching it as much as watching Wren’s excitement and reveling in the feel of Everly in my arms.

I didn’t want to go back to living this life alone. I couldn’t imagine it without Everly. It was too soon to be having these thoughts, so I’d keep them to myself. But Gran’s ring sat in the drawer of my dresser and weighed heavily on my mind.

It might be what Jackson said we had to do for the case, but I wanted to be engaged to Everly. I wanted my ring on her finger and her to live in my house. I wanted everything.

“That was amazing,” Everly said as the water slowed and the music drifted off.

“Did you see the rainbows?” Wren asked me.

“I did.” The moment was surreal for me because I wasn’t just paying attention to what was in front of me, but also to what was possible. And I wasn’t waiting for fate to make it happen. I’d create my own future.

A plan formed in my head as we headed toward the conservatory, admiring the lights as we walked. It was daytime, so we couldn’t see the outside lights, but I made a note to return next year when we could.

I needed to talk to Wren and make sure she was okay with my idea. A conversation we’d had about our last fairy-tale movie, Beauty and the Beast , came back to me. Everly dreamed of having a library with a rolling ladder, and she needed a space for her work. I’d renovate my office for her. Show her that I didn’t see her as temporary, but as a permanent fixture in my life.

Then I’d move my office into the spare bedroom. It was perfect. I walked with the girls through the conservatory, posing for pictures. Then we went to the building next door for lunch before searching for the outside train garden. Wren wanted to find the tree house next.

We held hands the whole way, with me pulling her into my arms at every stop. I never wanted to let her go. I hope she felt that. Because I couldn’t always say how I felt, especially without talking to Wren first.

Not much had changed between us other than our living arrangements. But getting engaged couldn’t happen without Wren’s okay.

We followed the path to the Duponts’ house. After admiring the interior, Wren mentioned that the paths led to a lake illuminated with lights.

“Can we find it?” Wren asked.

Everly smiled, so I said, “Why not?”

We’d driven a long way to get here, and I wanted to enjoy the day. If we stayed long enough, we’d be able to witness the grounds lit up for the evening. It was the perfect day, made better because it was spontaneous.

As Wren led us through the woods along the paved path, following the directions on the map, I couldn’t help but think I wouldn’t have done this without my parents, my sister, or Everly here. And it was so much more special with Everly.

I enjoyed my family, but I wanted to create a separate unit. I wanted my own slice of that heaven. Satisfied I was making the right decision, despite our circumstances and how we started out, I focused on the lake that was emerging through the opening in the trees.

Lights bobbed on the surface, illuminating shapes and patterns on the water.

“It’s beautiful,” Everly whispered.

“Not more beautiful than you.” I was focused on Everly’s face.

Everly glanced at me. “You say the sweetest things.”

“I’m charming like that.” I played it off when I really wanted to tell her I was serious. I wasn’t saying a line or acting out a role. She was beautiful. She was sweet and giving and everything I wanted in a partner.

We paused in front of the lake, taking it in. Only a few couples and families circled the lake on the path. It was approaching dusk, and most of the younger families had probably headed home. It was a long day of walking and sightseeing.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Everly said.

I knew there were more beautiful lakes than this, but I agreed there was something about the lights illuminating the water that was peaceful. I wanted to show Everly everything she hadn’t seen. Her mother didn’t take her on vacations, so she hadn’t traveled much outside of the state. I wanted to be the one to show her the world.

And Wren would be there too. Hopefully, if the case turned out the way we wanted it to. Jackson had said to be patient to see how things went with the baby and basketball season, but I was impatient. I wanted it all now.

“Want to walk around?” Everly asked Wren.

Wren nodded eagerly, so we walked leisurely around the lake, taking it in. Not talking or ruining the moment. It was quiet here. Tranquil. It was almost as if most people overlooked this part of the estate. Or it was too far away from the rest of the attractions.

“Let’s take a picture,” I said when we were halfway around. No one was near us, so I held up my phone for a selfie. The girls cuddled into my side, and we smiled big. The lake was illuminated in reds and greens behind us. It was a great shot, highlighting the perfect day.

“You should use this on your home screen,” Wren said as she added it and then sent the image to Everly. Wren loved to play with my phone and commandeered it whenever she could.

“That’s a good idea. I want to remember this day,” I said as we resumed our walk.

“Can we come back next year?” Wren asked.

“How about we make it a new family tradition to come every year?” I said to her.

Wren grinned. “We should invite Aunt Sage and Grandpa and Grandma.”

It was a great idea, but it felt sacred. “I don’t know. I think I’d prefer if we kept this for ourselves.”

“I’d like that,” Wren said.

Everly was noticeably quiet during that exchange. I waited until Wren walked ahead of us a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Of course. I’m having a great time.”

“I want to take you places and explore them together.”

“I’d like that.” Everly smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Before I could address it or ask her what was wrong, Wren called us to show us another light display in the trees up ahead.

I made the appropriate comments, but my mind was on Everly and why she seemed uncertain about us. Or maybe she thought this was still an act.

By the time we made it back to the main grounds, it was dark. Wren was excited to see the lights at night, so I bought hot chocolate and a pizza from a stand, and we ate and then slowly walked the grounds.

When our feet hurt, I suggested checking out the gift shop. Everly and Wren picked out ornaments for our tree, and we finally headed home. Wren fell asleep as soon as we got on the highway, and then it was just me and Everly.

I turned on the radio to holiday music and let it filter through the speakers.

“I can’t believe it’s almost Thanksgiving.”

“Didn’t think we’d still be together?” I teased, curious as to what she’d say.

“I knew it would be a long process, but I didn’t anticipate that they’d push the custody case back.”

My heart sank. “Is it too much? Do you want to back out?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. Besides, we agreed I could start my business while living with you. I’m not in a rush, but I think Wren wants things to be different now.”

“When I first brought up this crazy plan of mine, we talked about getting engaged.” I kept my tone light. I wasn’t sure how she still felt about it. Would she be on board? Would she see it like I did, as a natural extension of our developing relationship? Sure, it was probably quicker than I’d do it without the custody case, but I could see her in my future.

“For the case, you mean.”

“That’s right.” Why did I always couch everything in terms of our fake relationship and now, engagement? I couldn’t seem to handle this right with her.

“That was the plan.”

“Right. The plan.” That didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t want to talk about the plan. I wanted to talk about our future.

“Is everything okay?” Everly shifted in the seat to see me.

I sighed as I signaled to change lanes. “It doesn’t feel like a plan anymore. More like a natural progression in our relationship.”

“I’d imagine that’s how it’s supposed to feel.”

I glanced over at her to gauge what she was thinking, but she was looking out the window.

“I’m fine with whatever you want to do. I should say need to do. You deserve more time with Wren. There’s no question. I know split families are hard, but it pains me that you only get to see her every other weekend and on Wednesdays for dinner. It’s not enough.”

“Not nearly enough.” Pain bloomed in my chest, the familiar one that showed up every time I thought about losing the case, a judge telling me he was keeping things the way they were. This was my only chance.

Everly reached over to cover my hand with hers. “Everything will work out.”

I nodded, my throat tight. It had to work out. I wasn’t sure where I’d be if it didn’t. Still seeing Wren for scraps of time here and there, always longing for more.

“I’m glad I have you with me in this. I couldn’t imagine doing it alone.”

“You would have been okay,” Everly said as she pulled away.

But I wasn’t so sure. Everly was always by my side, pushing me and encouraging me, and I wanted to do the same for her.

I’d go through with my instinct to renovate the office and create a space for Everly. Then I’d propose, knowing it was real. I just hoped she’d realize it too.