Chapter 23

Twenty-Three

Lily

E ver since Jake walked away last night, I felt hollow. Bereft. I was in shock. The night had been better than I hoped. I’d been looking forward to going home and celebrating with the man I loved. I was prepared to tell him how I felt. I didn’t care if he reciprocated because I was almost positive he felt it, even if he wasn’t ready to acknowledge it yet.

I was on such a high, but as soon as Jake returned from the bathroom, he was different. He was distant and troubled. Was it possible someone said something to him? I could only imagine what my mom or dad would have said.

I wanted to fix it, but I couldn’t if Jake didn’t want to. If something happened, I couldn’t help him if he didn’t tell me. Then there was that phone call. Who was it? Who had the power to change his whole demeanor? It was like he’d turned to stone. His jaw was hard, his muscles tense. The only conclusion I came to was that it was his mother, or maybe an ex. But he’d said he didn’t have any serious ex-girlfriends.

The only thing that comforted me was that he hadn’t been in a relationship before. He was bound to screw up. I could only hope he figured things out and apologized. And soon. Because I wasn’t waiting around on a guy to figure out his shit. I was done fixing others.

He needed to figure this out for himself. I’d gotten a few calls this morning about the subscriptions, people saying they’d heard about it at the party last night. I helped them choose an option and sign up.

Then Gia called to tell me that the couple from last night wanted to see the farm. It wasn’t ready yet, but Gia said it was fine for a tour. If I was going to be hosting events at the farm, I couldn’t be tied to the store anymore. I needed someone to work the front counter.

I immediately prepared an advertisement for help and got it in the paper, then created flyers for my window. I hoped I could find someone willing to work here and who’d be excited about flowers. Knowledge about flowers would be helpful.

I called my friends from Shops on Main to meet for lunch. Turning the sign from Open to Be Right Back , I felt good about the friends I’d made here in town. The people I’d met. Even if this thing with Jake didn’t work out, I’d be okay.

I had my business, my grandparents’ farm, and their legacy to reveal to others. I was excited for the future of the businesses.

As I walked south on Main toward Max’s Bar I just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.

I pulled open the door to Max’s, scanning the dining room for Remi’s familiar blonde hair.

“Are you meeting someone?” the hostess asked.

Remi turned and waved me over.

“I just found them. Thanks.” I made my way toward the table. I’d invited Remi and the women from Happily Ever Afters, Gia, Sophie, Abby, Everly, and Harper. Zoe couldn’t do lunch during the week because her break was so short as a teacher.

Remi stood and hugged me. “Congrats. I heard about your first wedding booked on the farm.”

“Thank you, and thanks for encouraging me to take the leap.”

Remi waved me off. “I am a life coach on the side.”

“You’re more than that. You’re a good friend.” I’d faithfully continued attending her yoga classes on Wednesday evenings and had gone out with her and Zoe each week. And I was growing closer to the women at Happily Ever Afters too.

I sat and gave my drink order to the waitress.

“You had a second call this morning about booking a wedding,” Gia said.

“I know. I got your message.”

“Why aren’t you more excited?” Remi asked.

“I’m happy. This is exactly what I hoped for.”

“Are you worried you won’t have everything ready in time? Because I fully intend to pull out all the stops to make sure you are,” Gia said.

“I appreciate that.”

“That’s not it, is it?” Remi asked. “What’s going on?”

I looked around the table at the women who were slowly becoming friends I could count on, and said, “It’s Jake. I think something happened last night. My sister had a grand opening party for her new medical practice. My parents were there, and I didn’t see them say anything to Jake, but it might have happened when he went to get a drink.” I wouldn’t put it past my mother to corner him.

“He didn’t tell you if anything happened?”

“He was supposed to get a drink, but when he returned empty-handed, I could tell something was wrong. His face was just blank. He wanted to leave. I was excited to spend the evening together, but I think he was looking for ways to get out of it. Then he got a call. He wouldn’t say who it was. But he said he had to take care of it.”

Sophie’s eyes widened. “Who could it be?”

“An ex? His mom? I don’t know.”

“Oh, that’s right. His mom shows up periodically. But I think Hailey told her to stop last time. Not that it would have worked.”

“I don’t know what the problem is if he won’t tell me. But if he doesn’t want to share with me, and if he’s pulling away, then what difference does it make?”

“It makes a difference if you have feelings for him,” Gia said gently.

That surprised me because Gia didn’t seem like someone who gave much credence to feelings.

“I love him.”

There was a collective sigh around the table.

“I knew when we got together he might not be able to handle it. He said himself he hasn’t been in a lot of relationships. He said he didn’t know what he was doing. But I thought we’d work on it together.”

“You can’t help him if he won’t let you.”

I drank the water, hoping it would soothe my dry throat. The waitress got our orders, and talk turned to what needed to be done at the farm. Everyone offered to pitch in, and Gia said she’d have the landscaping service come out to maintain the property for me.

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“It’s one of our venues, and I’m confident it will be self-sustaining by the end of the summer.”

I’d been searching for my parents’ approval all my life, but I realized theirs didn’t matter. Not when I had friends and colleagues who believed in me. “Thank you, Gia. I feel like all my dreams are coming true.” Except the one where I had someone to share in the joy. Someone like Jake.

He wasn’t what I thought I wanted. He was so much more. If only he’d let me in so we could work on things together.

“When women lift each other up, everyone wins,” Gia said. “We’re not competing. We need to help each other.”

“I love that. Women supporting women.” Remi raised her glass of iced tea, and we repeated the sentiment while we clinked glasses.

I really hoped I could figure out this thing with Jake. But if not, my life was full. I had friends, and my business was finally taking off.

Not afraid to reach out to my friends for advice, I said, “I need to do more networking, so if you know of anything I could attend, let me know.”

Sophie’s forehead wrinkled. “I can’t think of anything right now, other than having a table at one of the festivals in town, maybe even at the Farmer’s Market.”

“But that’s more of a time commitment. I should be the one there, and on the weekends, I might be busy with farm events and planting.”

Gia’s eyes widened. “I have the best idea. We should host a party for the Happily Ever Afters vendors to advertise the weddings we offer and our individual businesses. I bet we could even make it an annual thing.”

“I love that,” Remi said.

We spent the rest of lunch discussing ideas for the Happily Ever Afters showcase. I left, feeling even better about the future of my business and my friends. I tried not to think about what was going on with Jake.

When I approached the door of my shop, there was a vase of flowers on the sidewalk. My stomach dropped. Had someone returned one of the arrangements? I looked around to see if anyone was hovering nearby. Not seeing anyone, I picked up the vase, unlocked the door, and went inside. Flipping the sign from Be Right Back to Open , I carried the bouquet into the back of the shop.

If it was a dissatisfied customer, I didn’t want anyone else to know if they happened to walk inside.

The arrangement was all sunflowers and yellow roses. I loved how bright they were, but I hadn’t sold one of these lately because they weren’t in season here. Pulling off the card, I read it: Forgive me. Love, J.

My heart stuttered, then picked up the pace. Jake had sent these. I should be upset that he didn’t buy from me, but he’d bought me flowers. No one had ever bought me flowers. My parents thought they were frivolous, and who else would, when I owned my own store?

Jake knew that I longed for the one thing that no one thought I needed—flowers from someone else. It was amazing to be surrounded by what I loved the most day in and day out, but I longed for someone to send something to me. It meant so much more.

I moved the bouquet to the front counter, took a picture of them, and sent them to Jake.

Lily: Thank you for the flowers.

Jake: They’re almost as beautiful as you. But they’re not enough.

What did that mean? They’re not enough. Was he still feeling badly about last night? I’d forgive him if it meant we were going to work on this together. But so far, he’d only sent the flowers with the note of apology.

I wanted to talk. I wanted to know everything there was to know about the mystery call last night and if something happened at the party. Still confused when no more texts came in, I sent the picture to the girls on a group message chain with the contents of the note.

The responses came flooding in. Everyone had an opinion, but at the end of the day, only I knew what the right thing to do was. My heart was telling me to give him time and a chance to make this right. Flowers were an amazing step in the right direction, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t just want him in my life. I wanted to know his hopes, fears, and dreams. I wanted to work through whatever was going on with him.

I took the vase home at the end of the night, not willing to part with it. When I arrived, the porch was covered in more yellow arrangements. Window boxes had been added to the bottom windows and were overflowing with flowers. Pots hung from the ceiling of the porch. All of them were yellow with a few white flowers mixed in.

I held my hand over my heart as the tears threatened to spill over. It was amazing. Some might say it was too much, but it was just right. You could never have too many flowers.

I snapped another picture, this time with me standing on the porch and the caption, I’m waiting for you.

I wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk about last night, but I wanted him to know I’d hear him out whenever he was.

I held my phone to my chest. I’d shared the last bouquet with the girls, but this was between Jake and me. It felt like something big was happening, and I wanted to keep it to myself.

I admired each pot and vase of flowers on the porch. I walked around to the back and saw that the flowers were there too. He must have spent a fortune to deliver all of these.

I slowly moved the vases inside, filling each room with the blooms. The house smelled like them, and I loved it. It was the ultimate luxury to fill my home with flowers. And Jake had made it possible.

I placed the last few bouquets in the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water. I had so many flowers that I didn’t feel bad pulling leaves off a few of the yellow roses and letting them float in the water. Keeping my phone nearby, I removed my dress and panties and stepped into the warm water.

I allowed the stress of the last couple of days to ease as I rested my head on the rim of the tub. This was almost perfect. Jake was making some sort of move. I wasn’t sure exactly what, but I was going to enjoy the process. I wouldn’t rush him or do anything to stop whatever his plans were.

I stretched my legs out and allowed my mind to drift. Was this Jake’s way of apologizing to me? What else did he have planned?

My heart soared as I considered the possibilities, him apologizing, asking me to forgive him, telling me he’d made a big mistake. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but everything was pointing in that direction.

I gathered the petals and pulled them toward me so they covered any part of my body that was visible. Then I dried my hand on a nearby towel so I could snap an image of myself in the bathtub.

I snapped a few, then carefully considered them. I chose the one where the petals covered my nipples, my cheeks were rosy, and my lips a little pouty, and then I sent it to him with the caption, Thanks again for the flowers. Petals come in handy.

Jake: You’re killing me.

I smiled widely because that was the idea. As much as I was enjoying the slow seduction, I was more than a little eager to race to the end and get my prize. I wanted Jake.

I settled back in the still-warm water, allowing my love for Jake to fill me. He hadn’t said it yet, but I was hoping he was working up to it. That he was realizing what I meant to him and what he meant to me. We built something that no one else could tear apart, not his mother or mine.

I wanted to go through life with him, but only if he had the strength not to let other people come between us. I had faith he could rise above his past, and mine, but I needed him to figure things out.

I’d be patient. In the meantime, I had plenty to keep myself busy between readying the farm for weddings and handling the increased subscriptions that came in today.