Chapter 19

Nineteen

Aria

I felt a little shaky after our encounter on the balcony. I knew what would happen when he texted me to join him.

I had to remind myself that it was just sex. There shouldn’t be any emotion or feelings involved. But sex with him was more. It wasn’t a quick fuck against the wall or me riding him on the balcony.

We were always partially clothed, yet I’d never felt barer. What would it be like if we ever got into a bed? We’d get to see each other naked for the first time and have all the time in the world to explore each other’s bodies. I wanted that. Even though I knew Finn was bad for me.

Finn was correct when he said he was an indulgence, an equivalent of a cheat day on your diet. You gave in to the temptation and then felt guilty later. But I wanted to prolong the phase where I didn’t feel any regret. I wanted to enjoy it for what it was.

I couldn’t help but look forward to spending Sunday with him and Paisley. I loved sharing art with someone, especially a child, who was learning the techniques for the first time. When I was younger, I relied on books I checked out of the library and the art teacher at school to learn.

I knew their limitations, and I was okay with it. Finn wanted his daughter to have everything, and there was nothing wrong with that.

When I returned to the party, Harper raised a brow. “You were gone a while.”

“Sorry, I fell asleep.” I hated lying to her. At least Ireland wasn’t working this wedding. I wasn’t sure I’d feel comfortable screwing around with her brother while she was nearby. Of course, I shouldn’t be doing it at all.

“Do you feel okay? You’re not coming down with what Finn had last week, are you?”

Everyone knew about it because I’d called out of work.

“No. I’m fine.”

Then Harper waggled her brows. “Did anything happen between you two?”

“He was sick. He had a fever.” I rolled my eyes, hoping she couldn’t see through me.

“If you say so. One might think you’d spend all day in bed with him.”

“I’d never do that. Ireland’s my friend.”

I could feel her gaze on the side of my face while I watched the couples on the dance floor. “Besides, we don’t get along.”

Harper laughed. “That’s the best kind of foreplay. The arguing gets your blood pumping.”

Is that what happened between me and Finn? There was this extra tension from our interactions, and it spilled over into sex? I didn’t think so because I’d had disagreements with other people in my life, and I didn’t want to jump them.

What we had was different. It couldn’t be compared to anything else. It didn’t mean he was my guy. It just meant he was a fun diversion for now. One that had the possibility to blow everything up for me: my living situation, my new friendship with Ireland, and my job. I was walking a fine line, and I couldn’t make a misstep. Everything would come crumbling down.

“If you were doing something with Finn, I wouldn’t judge you.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. Harper was Gia’s best friend. “Gia has rules about that sort of thing.”

“I love that girl like a sister, but she can be over-the-top sometimes.”

She was my boss, and I couldn’t forget that. If Gia wanted to run her business a certain way, that was her right.

“Did you grow up together?” I knew they were friends, but not much else.

“Yeah, my house was next to hers, and I spent many days and nights at hers. I loved her big, loud family. It was fun to hang out at the pizza shop. Her dad was a little upset when I stopped working there to come work for Gia.”

“I bet he’s proud of her for building her own business.”

“He wanted his whole family working at their pizzeria. Her dad has a tough time saying I’m proud of you . I think that gets to Gia. It’s why she works so hard.”

“She’s trying to prove herself to him.”

“I’m afraid it will never be enough. She’s the type of person who will work too hard. She’ll neglect her needs if something in the business needs to be done. And there’s always something that could be done.”

I didn’t know much about business, but that made sense. “That’s too bad. I think my parents would be proud of me no matter what I did.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Yeah, they’re great.” They had trouble supporting us financially growing up, but we never lacked love. Now that I’d seen how the other half lived, I hadn’t grown up lacking. I had everything I needed to succeed in life—love and support from my family.

“I’d better go see if the bride and groom’s ride is here. We can do the send-off and start cleaning up.”

“Sounds good to me.”

I’d gotten a little complacent. I was supposed to be looking for an apartment for me and my sister. Instead, I’d gotten a little too comfortable at Ireland’s.

On Sunday, I woke up to the smell of something burning. When I stumbled out of the room, certain the fire alarm would be going off at any second, Ireland was opening windows and fanning the air. “Sorry. I was cooking.”

“What did you burn?” I asked her, looking at the mess she’d made of the kitchen. There was flour on the counters and the floor.

“Pancakes. I thought they would be easy. Everyone makes them, right?”

“They’re easy because most people make them from a mix. Did you make them from scratch?”

“Yes.” Her shoulders fell.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll get some mix for next time.”

“I’m sorry. I completely suck.”

Her phone dinged. “Oh good. Finn is on his way with food.”

“He’s picking me up, and I’m not ready. I’m going to jump in the shower.”

Ireland followed me down the hall while I grabbed clothes from my dresser drawers. “Where’s he taking you?”

“I found this art class for Paisley.”

She rested a shoulder against the doorjamb. “You’re taking Paisley to an art class?”

Suddenly uncomfortable, I busied myself in my shirt drawer. “Finn’s coming too.”

“Interesting.”

“I feel bad if I’m intruding on your time, but Finn said he’d hang out with you later.”

“I don’t care about that.”

“I’d better jump in the shower. He’ll be here any minute.” I brushed past her, hoping she wouldn’t stop me and ask more questions. I hadn’t thought about how this would look to Ireland. I was doing something with Finn, and it probably looked a little cozy from the outside.

This wasn’t something a sitter would do. I wouldn’t have involved the dad. I was crossing all sorts of lines I shouldn’t be. I never should have agreed to this morning.

I flew through my shower routine, throwing on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I wrapped my still-wet hair in a messy bun on my head and came out. I heard Finn’s deep voice before I saw him. I wished he was here for me. That this was a date.

It was stupid and na?ve. But I wanted it all. I wanted him, his daughter, and the family. I was falling for him a little more each day. It was a combination of mind-blowing sex and family time.

It was hard to believe he thought he wasn’t made to be a boyfriend or a husband because he was a good guy.

I paused in the doorway to the kitchen. There were take-out bags and coffee cups on the counter. Paisley sat at the counter, her face, hands, and shirt covered in white powder.

“Morning,” I said, feeling a little awkward as I grabbed a coffee and sat on the stool.

“How was your night?” Finn asked.

I flushed, even though I knew he wasn’t talking about sex on the balcony. “We were there late. They didn’t want the party to end.”

“Gia should have a hard-and-fast rule about that.”

“Oh, they’ll pay a premium for it. The venue doesn’t like it either. But there’s only so much we can do. Gia wants them to have a good experience,” Ireland said, taking a large bite of a donut.

“I don’t like you working late.” What he said sounded very much like a boyfriend who was concerned for his girlfriend. Would Ireland guess there was something going on with us?

“It’s very safe. Gia makes sure there’s security at night and that they walk us to our cars,” Ireland said.

Maybe Ireland was used to him sounding overprotective and didn’t think his concern was unusual.

“That’s good,” Finn said, but his jaw was tight.

“Here, eat a donut.” Ireland pushed the bag of donuts in my direction.

I didn’t usually indulge in sugar this early, but after the late night I had, and Finn taking up all the space in my kitchen, I needed it.

I grabbed a sugar donut and took a large bite. I inhaled the powdered sugar and immediately started coughing. I couldn’t seem to stop. Finn pounded on my back and then rubbed it as I slowly recovered.

Ireland handed me a glass of water, and I slowly sipped it. My face felt red with embarrassment and the exertion of my coughing fit.

“You okay?” Finn asked, his palm still resting on the middle of my back.

I slowly nodded. “I think so.”

This time, I ate more slowly, taking small bites and drinking water in between. Finn dropped his hand but stood close as if he wasn’t sure I was okay.

My heart flip-flopped in my chest because Finn cared about me. He never failed to do something that made me feel that way. He was so much more than he gave himself credit for.

When I was finished eating, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I heard Ireland and Paisley talking softly in the kitchen. When I rinsed out my mouth, Finn stood in the doorway.

“You ready to go?” I asked him, desperate to get out of this tiny space. His daughter was in the next room, and our track record in these kinds of places wasn’t great.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I raised my hands and then dropped them. “I’m fine. It was just a little sugar.”

Finn moved close to me, his hand resting on my shoulder. If anyone walked in, they might mistake the gesture as innocent. But my knees were shaking, and my heart coursed through my body at his touch. “I just wanted to check.”

“You’re a good guy.” He needed to know that, even if he never absorbed those words.

“Daddy! Daddy,” we heard as Paisley’s footsteps sounded in the hallway.

“We’re being summoned,” Finn said, the corner of one lip twitching.

We needed to watch ourselves around Paisley. I didn’t want her to think anything was going on. Today, I was her sitter and a friend. Nothing more.

I dipped out from under his arm and slipped past him. I felt his gaze on my back as I took Paisley’s hand and walked with her toward the kitchen.

“We’re going to head out. Want to come over later for dinner?” Finn asked Ireland as we passed through the kitchen.

“Sounds good. Have fun, Paisley-girl.”

“I will,” she singsonged.

The drive to the art store was short. From the back seat, Paisley kept up a stream of constant chatter about school and friends. She gave us the rundown of the kids who got reds and yellows in class and when she had extra recess.

I’d never taken an art class, and I was excited to hear what tips the woman had for drawing. Inside the shop, a teenager showed us the room where the workshop would take place. She set us up with a small sketch pad. The colored pencils were arranged next to each spot.

There was something about the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and a pad of blank paper. The possibilities were endless.

The room slowly filled with people. Finn greeted the few he knew and introduced me as his friend.

The instructor finally stood at the front of the room, introduced herself as Sally, and explained the best pencils to use for these types of drawings.

Then she went through how to draw a face. I’d learned this from watching videos online, but I paid closer attention when she explained how to draw proportionate limbs and a torso. I was fascinated by how each little stroke made a huge difference in our character’s personalities. I saw the series of lines on the paper as a living, breathing person, not just black and white.

When Sally stepped aside to answer a question from another classmate, I took a second to look at Paisley’s drawing. “That’s great.”

“You think so?”

I did a quick scan of the room. The other kids’ sketches weren’t close to hers. “Yeah. You’re good.”

“Hey, what about me?” Finn asked playfully.

Paisley and I leaned over to examine his. “Eh. It could use some work.”

“What is that?” Paisley asked about the extra limb on his guy’s bottom.

“Oh. whoops. Forgot to erase that third leg.” Finn pulled out his eraser and rubbed the paper while Paisley and I exchanged a look before erupting into giggles.

“You like making fun of me.”

“We weren’t doing that,” I finally managed when we’d recovered. My stomach hurt, and my cheeks felt flush.

Sally was coming around the room, giving everyone tips and pointers on our drawings, so we waited patiently for her to arrive at ours.

She examined ours for a few seconds before pointing at mine and Paisley’s. “These are a great start.”

I’d attempted to draw Paisley, so mine had long dark hair with bangs and an impish expression. It was the one Paisley got right before she asked her father for something. “Your faces are very expressive.”

“I like playing with those.”

“You draw?” Sally asked, respect lining her tone.

“I mess around with it. I’ve never taken any classes before.”

“You’re good.” Before I could thank her, she gave Paisley a tip on how to give hers personality with the nose. Paisley nodded thoughtfully, and when Sally walked away, she experimented with several different types, erasing each one and starting over again.

“This is fun,” Finn said, leaning behind Paisley to talk to me.

“It is.”

“Thanks for suggesting it.”

I grinned at him, and then Sally continued with the class, giving us tips on how to manage the person’s height in comparison to the things we drew in the background.

I listened intently, Sally’s knowledge wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. I wanted to know everything about drawing. I wanted to soak it up and go home to try it over and over again.

Toward the end, Paisley left to use the restroom, and Finn moved to her chair so he was sitting next to me. “You’re really enjoying this.”

“I’ve never been to a class outside of school.”

“You should take some classes at the community college.”

“Oh no. I couldn’t. My sister is planning to go. She’s saving up. There’s no way I could go. Besides, art classes would be a waste of money.” If I ever went to school, I’d take the teaching credits to get my certification. I could teach art, but with only one teacher per school, I couldn’t count on a position being available when I finally graduated.

“If your sister goes to school, you can’t?”

I nodded. “I’m helping her pay for classes. It’s expensive.”

“That’s commendable, but what about you?”

I shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable with this conversation. “What about me?”

“Don’t you deserve to fulfill your dreams?”

“I am. I have a great job. I love my new apartment.” Although it really wasn’t mine. It was temporary.

“But is that your dream?”

I laughed, feeling slightly off. “I love my life. I don’t need anything else.”

“Hmm,” he said as Paisley returned with her hands on her hips.

“Daddy, what are you doing? That’s my spot.”

Finn moved over. “Oh, is it?”

“You know it is, Daddy. You didn’t draw on my picture, did you?”

“Of course not.”

We finished our sketches and took them with us as we walked out. There was a line to exit, with some asking questions and others praising the instructor for a good class.

When we reached Sally, she said, “You should come back in a couple of weeks. This will be a series.”

“Oh, that would be nice,” I said, knowing I probably wouldn’t.

“Do we sign up at the front?” Finn asked.

“Sure do.” And then she answered a question from the person behind us.

“Are you signing Paisley up?” I asked Finn as we made our way to the counter.

“Do you want to go with us? You seemed to enjoy it.”

I shook my head. “You should do it together. I don’t want to intrude on your time.”

“You wouldn’t be. Art is kind of your thing.”

I didn’t think of myself as an artist, but I didn’t argue with Finn when he signed all three of us up for the series. The classes wouldn’t be all people; there was a week of animals, another for inanimate objects, and one for light and shading. It sounded amazing.

“Daddy, can we go to the park?” Paisley asked when we stepped outside.

“There’s one nearby. Want to join us?”

“Seeing as you drove, sure.” I wasn’t ready for my time with them to be over. These two were taking up residence in my heart, and I didn’t have the strength to stop it.