11. Chapter Eleven

Ewan waited in the living room while I went upstairs to retrieve my present from the bathroom. As it turned out, it was really a gift for him. Red lace lingerie that conveniently exposed all the naughty parts. Considering how much time I spent naked in front of others, the outfit wasn’t terribly risqué. The matching heels added a touch of sensuality and really upped the likelihood I would take an embarrassing tumble.

I stood at the top of the spiral staircase and stared down at Ewan on the couch, feeling powerful in the lingerie. I knew I looked good, sexy, naughty, and I liked it. For Ewan, I would be whatever he wanted, which was why I had put on the lacy outfit to begin with. But I was rethinking yet again who would enjoy this gift more.

Ewan’s phone was out, his thumbs flying across the screen. Even now, at close to midnight, the pack demanded his attention. It wasn’t like I hadn’t witnessed this firsthand with my father, yet all the times he’d left during dinner to deal with something didn’t compare to this moment.

He’ll never be all mine, I thought.

Ewan’s head shot up as if I’d spoken aloud. He took one look at me and tossed the cell aside, his undivided attention now mine. Having an alpha devour me with his hungry stare did all wonderful things to my lady parts. He could persuade an entire pack with a single thought, and yet only I could capture his entire focus with a single glance. It was a heady, addictive sensation.

I danced my fingers along the railing as I made my way down the stairs, slowing every few steps to stroke the metal and draw out the foreplay. And this little show was most definitely foreplay. The scent of arousal was so thick in the air that I nearly choked on the heavenly aroma.

When I reached the first floor, Ewan beckoned me over with the crook of his finger. I held his gaze and sauntered toward the back of the couch, purposely rubbing my nipple across his cheek when I bent to kiss the top of his head. Ewan tried to capture it between his teeth, but I darted away before he had the chance.

I strode confidently toward the fireplace and stood directly opposite Ewan, enjoying the control I had over him at that moment. I dominated his thoughts and his attention. The gold overshadowed the crimson again in his irises, the wolf in him responding to the one in me.

“Turn around.” He made a circle with his finger.

I turned slowly, letting him admire me from every angle.

“Come here.” He gestured with his hand. “I want to touch you.”

I took a step forward and then reconsidered. Ever since waking up, I’d depended on him. I obeyed him, not because he was my alpha, but because I was too scared of myself to make decisions. No longer. Tonight, I was in control.

“I bet you do.” Hands on my hips, I looked down at myself. “Who wouldn’t?”

Ewan sat back. Interest sparking in his expression. “Everyone might want to, but I’m the only one who does.” His gaze darkened, his voice dangerously close to alpha-level.

The subtle challenge emboldened me. I sauntered forward, stepping up on the coffee table instead of walking around it, and perched on the edge. I crossed my legs and leaned back on my hands, loving the way his eyes blazed trails of flames on every inch of my exposed skin. Hunger burned in his gaze as a fresh burst of desire shot through the bond. He wanted me so badly he could taste me on his tongue.

He parted his lips, and his fangs peeked over his bottom lips. I opened my mouth and ran my tongue over my own pointy teeth and moved one hand to my thigh.

“Not the only one.” I slowly uncrossed my legs, giving him VIP access to my members only show. A thin strip of satin with snaps prevented him from seeing everything yet. The heat of his gaze triggered a rush of warmth to my core. I reached between my legs and rubbed myself through the silky fabric. “I can touch myself whenever I want.”

I’d always been confident in the bedroom, but this felt like leveling up big time. Until this moment, I’d relied on my instincts. Now I wondered if they’d led me astray. Was I really ready to be this vulnerable?

“I’m happy to take over, Zara. Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

His concern bolstered my confidence. I had started us down this road to assert my independence, to remind him and myself that he didn’t control me. But I found the way he looked at me when I took the reins too enticing to turn back. This wasn’t about vulnerability, or maybe it was. I didn’t really care.

All that mattered was that we were both enjoying ourselves, sharing equally in pleasure. That was one of the many great things about Ewan—he’d never left me disappointed.

I placed the red spiked heel against his chest and pressed against the flannel as I shook my head. “No, sir. Keep your hands to yourself until I’m ready for you.”

Fresh challenge danced in his eyes. “Say it again.”

I pressed the heel harder against him. Ewan leaned into the pointy object like he enjoyed the pain, and then wrapped his fingers around my ankle and lowered my foot to the edge of the couch. I increased the pressure as I rubbed between my thighs, watching him as he watched me and letting that glorious ache build inside of me.

His gaze never strayed from my face, like he found the sight of my parted lips and half-open eyes way more arousing than the main event. I moaned his name and loved the way he practically unraveled in front of me.

“Fuck, Zara,” he growled, free hand going for the button on his jeans.

I shook my head as my fingers found my clit. “No. You made me wait. Now you can wait. Only I touch you tonight.”

He took a deep, unnecessary breath. “Only because this is totally worth it.”

The silk between my legs was soaked. I was so close to the edge that I knew as soon as I touched my clit with my bare fingers, it would be over. Ewan’s grip tightened around my ankle, nostrils flaring as he breathed in my scent.

“I want to watch you cum.”

And I desperately wanted to watch him while he watched me. I finally unclasped the snaps. His chest rumbled as his free hand gripped my other knee. He spread my legs wider, never breaking eye contact.

The next moan to escape my lips was louder and longer when my fingers found just the right spot. My fangs sank into my bottom lip as my spine arched and my hips bucked up from the table. I screamed his name and collapsed onto my back, thighs trembling.

Ewan undressed at hyper speed, appearing as nothing more than a blur as the orgasm rocketed through me. Next thing I knew, he hovered over me in all his perfect naked glory. He hiked one of my legs over his hip, planting his free hand beside mine on the table.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

He reached between us, stroking me almost tenderly as the aftershocks made my body vibrate. I was so sensitive that it didn’t take his skilled fingers long before the pressure started to build again.

“Ewan,” I gasped.

“You had your fun. Now it’s my turn. This time, I plan to be inside you.”

My head spun with desire. I wanted him inside me too, to feel that wholly consuming sensation of fullness that accompanied these moments when it truly was the joining of two souls more so than two bodies.

He slid his hand in mine and guided himself inside me with the other. He didn’t move right away, letting me adjust to his size before thrusting his hips.

“You really are my queen, you know.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Anything you want, in the bedroom, in life—I will give you.”

My heart was too full to respond. For the first time, I thought I might cry during sex. I had heard about the phenomenon but never experienced it myself. But for those precious moments, everything felt right in the world. I loved him with every part of my being, and I felt those feelings reciprocated through the bond.

He drew his hips back slowly and then snapped them against my thighs, filling me completely. Ewan swallowed my moans with a kiss before burying his face in my neck. He dragged his fangs along the sensitive skin and buried himself inside me again and again.

Ewan had teased me like this before, but had yet to actually bite me. Until now. The instant his pointy teeth sank in, power and pleasure coursed through me in equal measure. All my nerve endings were on fire. Every touch felt more intense. I wanted to cry happy tears with each thrust.

He drank from me, yet I felt full. Our bond felt deeper, my love for him richer somehow. I wondered if this was how he felt when I drank from him. If so, I understood why he liked it. I was so lost in sensation that all he had to do was press a finger to my clit and I came so hard that I saw spots.

He followed a moment later. His fangs pulled free from my neck, but his other appendage remained where it was happiest. When he kissed me, my blood still lingered on his tongue.

“You taste like sin,” he murmured, running his nose along my chin and down my throat. “Even better, you taste like mine.”

Tears filled my eyes. It felt like I had waited centuries to hear him say those words.

“Did I do something wrong? Was all of this not okay?” His alarm made the teardrops well over and trace salty paths down my cheeks.

“No. I mean, yes. Obviously. I wanted to do this. It’s just a lot.”

He smoothed my hair back from forehead and wiped away the tears with hands that smelled like me. “That’s why I didn’t want to have sex right away. I was worried it would be.”

“It’s not the sex. It’s… I love you. So, so much.”

He stood and scooped me into his arms. “I love you, Zara. I am yours. Forever and always. Every time the moon swells and hangs full in the sky, I will be there. Eternally, in this life and every life after.”

Ewan carried me upstairs and into the bathroom, peeling off the lingerie while the shower water heated. I was too tired to wash my hair, so Ewan scrubbed the shampoo and conditioner in while I rested my head against his chest. My eyes closed as he gently scrubbed my back with a loofa, and I was asleep on my feet by the time he wrapped me in a soft robe and led me to bed.

He brushed my hair as I drifted off to sleep, too exhausted and curious to fight the memories.

The dream pulled me into the past immediately. After meeting Tish, I expected her to play a starring role that night. I found myself disappointed when that wasn’t the case.

I walked arm in arm with Zeno down a palace hallway. We’d bonded under the last full moon nearly a month prior, and I was still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. I loved Zeno very much, though a part of me knew the king had induced the feelings with magic.

The previous day, King Orrin had sent us an invitation for a private audience. Which only meant one thing—it was time to pick our pack.

The other girls and I met up once a week under the guise of a knitting circle to discuss our new lives openly. Those who’d bonded with their mates before I did had mentioned the pack selection. Iliana talked like it was the most thrilling event of her life, outside trying to make an heir for Stavros, which she taunted me with at every chance.

My feelings for Zeno didn’t change how I felt about Stavros, and jealously burned in my gut every time Iliana said the prince’s name. I hated her with the same passion that I loved him.

The other couple who’d already bonded, Kassandra and Sabina, hadn’t enjoyed the pack selection and had little to say on the matter. Though, Kassandra pretended otherwise any time Iliana was around, wanting to get in good with the Queen of Wolves.

The royal page led Zeno and me through the palace, all the way to the king”s entrance to the royal arena that was built specifically for the last challenge of the games. King Orrin waited for us in his box, high above the stands.

Down below, men and women took turns sparring. The king gestured for us to sit on either side of him.

“It has come time to form your pack,” King Orrin said. He glanced between Zeno and me. “This is a heavy responsibility. Your pack will be your family. They will fight for you, die for you if necessary.” He focused on Zeno. “Your beta is your second-in-command. I took the liberty of selecting a small group of worthy candidates.”

The herald standing near the entrance blew his horn three times. Everyone in the arena froze. The king stood and cleared his throat. When he spoke, his voice boomed through the amphitheater.

“I invite all beta candidates to the center of the arena.” He made a sweeping gesture with his and sank back onto his throne.

Ten men obeyed the veiled order. I watched, truly seeing their faces for the first time. With my new wolf”s vision, I could count their freckles if I were so pleased. I knew these men. They’d all competed in the games, except for one.

“That is Julian.” The king bestowed a coveted smile on me. “He happens to be my favorite.”

“Why wasn’t he a competitor?” Zeno asked as a man dressed in royal livery joined the beta candidates.

“Prisoners were not eligible.” King Orrin laced his fingers and rested his joined hands on his stomach. “As a fae, he lacked discipline. As a wolf, he has no choice but to obey his alpha.”

“Are there other prisoners?” I asked in the sweet voice I’d mastered and used during social engagements.

King Orrin patted my hand. “Yes, dear. They were most eager to trade their sentence and their magic to become pack wolves.”

Bile crept up my throat. Stavros had told me the truth about the games, about how the line between winners and losers was thin. I’d expected to see familiar faces in the arena. Using criminals to round out the packs, however, that came as a shock.

A flash of light in the arena caught my attention. Julian and his opponent shifted on cue. They were both massive brown wolves, though notably smaller than the alphas. Both candidates fought as if their lives depended on the outcome, viciously attacking one another. Blood and fur littered the arena floor long before the match ended.

Zeno watched the fight with obvious interest. I let my mind wander, only partially listening when the king listed off each shifter’s attributes and faults, like these men were nothing more than prized livestock. It didn’t surprise me when Zeno declared Julian his beta without seeing the others tear each other apart. I appreciated the unintentional kindness because I had no interest in witnessing more of these brawls than necessary.

“Wonderful choice.” King Orrin nodded approvingly. He turned his attention my way. “What do you think of Julian, Zosia?”

My opinion on the matter held no weight. Zeno made that obvious with his unilateral decision. This wasn’t our pack. It was his pack. He let me choose decorations for our new home. When we discussed books, he listened to my interpretations even if they didn’t match his own. But this, the first important decision we should have made as an alpha couple? He had no interest in consulting with me or listening to my thoughts.

Neither did King Orrin. He often asked questions like this of the women, testing us and our mate bonds. There was only one right way to answer.

“He fights beautifully.” My sweet smile appeared effortlessly on my lips. “I look forward to him joining us at the palace.” Peering around the king at Zeno, I added, “Julian is an excellent selection, darling.”

The beta contenders left the arena as more hopefuls entered. There were so many of them. Hundreds of fae the king had turned into wolves. A part of me must have known and chosen to remain na?ve.

Who did you think would make up your pack?

“You will select fifty pack members now. Once all the couples have completed their bonding ceremonies, the alphas will divide the remaining wolves among themselves,” the king explained. “Choose your females with care. They will mother the next generation of wolves.” His gaze swung in my direction. “Just as you will nurture Zeno’s future heir. It would be nice to hear you’re decorating the nursery by winter solstice.”

The only place Zeno and I truly connected was the bedroom. We understood each other in those intimate moments. He never asked about Stavros, or if I came to our marital bed as pure as my white wolf implied. He made me feel special, like I mattered, which was a rarity these days. Sex was the only time I didn’t have to pretend or fake anything. Zeno always made sure I climaxed and cuddled and talked openly afterwards. I had found space in my heart for him that had nothing to do with the mate bond.

Until that moment, the idea of children seemed so far in the future. The winter solstice was only six months away. I experienced a moment of panic before a thought occurred to me. Few women in the Valley held any true power, and those who did all had one thing in common: They had given an important man a son.

“That is my wish, as well,” I told the king.

“I would like to see the women first, if His Majesty agrees?” Zeno interjected, focus on the arena floor.

King Orrin nodded. “Very wise.”

The herald blew his horn again, and the king stood and called all the women to the arena floor. Oddly, he directed his man on the ground to start with the lowest ranked fighters. Two scarily thin women came forward.

My mouth went dry. I gripped my hands tightly in my lap to stop them from shaking. This had to be a bad dream, a nightmare even. No, this is punishment, I realized. It had to be. That was only the explanation for why my sister Bettina stood in the center of the arena, facing an opponent.

The part of me that was Zara wanted to wake the fuck up from this memory. I had seen enough. Zosia refused to let me go, as if needing me to witness the entire scene. I didn’t want to see what came next. It was too much. Of all the things I had expected, this was not one of them.

Zosia was also reluctant to watch the fight, but she didn’t have a choice, so neither did I.

The king’s man waved his hand and a flash of light signaled the start of the match. Even in wolf form, my sister looked malnourished. Her eyes glowed yellow as she stalked her prey.

“Both prisoners,” the king said conversationally. He gestured to my sister’s scrawny wolf. “She was our first volunteer.”

King Orrin gave no indication he knew Bettina was my sister, but he definitely knew. The man had an entire room devoted to spying on the competitors during the games. He knew all our secrets, mine in particular.

I tried to catch Zeno’s eye. He needed to pick her, no matter the outcome of the match. I refused to let her fall under another alpha’s command. Zeno never looked over.

Bettina proved a scrappy fighter, and quite viscous, which shouldn’t have surprised me. At times, she appeared feral, and that worried me. Why was she so thin? Did they not feed her?

The fight concluded, the king’s man declared Bettina’s opponent the winner. My body was as taut as a violin string. Now was the time to speak up. The words lodged in my throat as Zeno considered if either wolf was worthy of our pack.

Finally, he glanced at me. “Why don’t you decide, Zosia? You will have to spend time with these women, befriend them. Some will even attend to you at the palace. It only seems fair to consider your thoughts.”

My gaze swung back to the arena floor. Bettina had shifted back to her human form. Someone must’ve given her clothes. She stared up at me, sitting in the royal box beside King Orrin. From her vantage, it certainly seemed like a charmed life. And yet, not even a hint of jealousy flickered in her gaze.

I pointed to my sister. My voice didn’t quiver, coming out strong and clear. “Her.”

“You choose the loser. Interesting,” the king commented.

I gave him my sugary smile. “You said she was the first prisoner to volunteer. To me, that suggests she’s fearless. Anyone can learn to fight. What she lacks in skill and experience, she makes up for in nerve.”

Zeno nodded. “That’s one then. Let’s find the other forty-nine.”