10. Chapter Ten

“How’d it go?” Winter demanded, even before we’d fully exited the portal. “What’d she say? Does she know what she is?”

She clutched a steaming mug between her hands, green eyes bulging alarmingly as she peppered us with questions. Ewan plucked the cup from her grasp and put it on the table.

“You might want to chill on the coffee,” he suggested. “Is there a reason you’re drinking caffeine after dark?”

A toilet flushed, and then I heard water running in the downstairs bathroom. Several seconds later, Birch walked out into the living room.

“Is there a reason you think I need a babysitter after dark?” Winter’s hand went to her hip, and she stared at Ewan expectantly.

The two men exchanged glances. Until that point, I’d thought Birch’s presence was just Ewan being overly cautious. Now, I wasn’t so certain. I tried gauging Ewan’s emotions through the bond, but that didn’t really tell me anything. He wasn’t afraid for Winter, yet he’d asked his third-in-command to sit with her while we were gone, unbeknownst to me.

“You’re the only female eternal. You’re valuable,” Ewan reminded her.

She made a face. “Ew. You make me sound like a pawn. I thought we were friends.”

He ran his hand through his hair, growing exasperated. “I meant, a lot of people are looking for you and they won’t think twice about invading my territory to get you.” His gaze sharpened. “Isn’t that why your father has his bodyguards trailing you? How’d you get away from them to come up here?”

Her cheeks flamed red. “First of all, his name is Walter. Please, for the love of Gaia, only refer to him that way when speaking to me. Second, Walter is making up for twenty-two years of absence by being a helicopter parent. And, thirdly, I made a portal from my bedroom to your living room, obviously. I’m a dimensional fae, remember?”

Birch watched the exchange, an amused smile threatening to materialize on his otherwise bored expression. Ewan glanced at him as if pleading for an ally. He shrugged, as if to say, “You’re on your own.”

“Does no one in this room care I’m alpha?” Ewan threw his hands up.

I turned to him and put a hand on his arm. “I care, and so does Winter.”

He grimaced. “Patronizing much?”

“I care,” Birch offered.

Ewan frowned at his best friend. “You don’t count.”

Birch laughed. “Thanks, asshole.”

Ewan let his head fall back and gave a frustrated growl.

“Okay.” I held up my hands. “Let’s start over.” I turned to Winter. “Hi. Things with Tish went… fine. She is speaking with Lucca tonight—that’s her mate, who is also an eternal protector but doesn’t know it. She has Ewan’s cell number.”

I hesitated to mention the bad blood between Walter and the Guerras. It didn’t seem relevant, and Winter had enough to worry about. I did, however, want to talk to Walter, let him know Ewan and I might have exacerbated an already fraught situation.

Winter chewed her bottom lip and nodded. “If you’re sure she’s safe?”

My knowledge of supernatural crime families was super limited. They operated outside the Zodiac system, which was all I’d ever known. But Walter, my one mafia touchstone, went to great lengths to protect his only child. As Lucca’s true mate, his father would protect Tish at all costs. The fact she’d already given birth to Lucca’s daughter made her even more precious.

Does Ewan care I can’t give him a child? I wondered.

To Winter, I said, “Tish may be the safest out of all of us.”

Winter and Birch eventually left. It was dark outside, and the lights from the town below sparkled like diamonds. I stood beside the roaring fireplace and watched them glow, barely feeling the heat of the flames on my arm.

Ewan was on the phone with Charlie, discussing the safety protocols for Mrs. Wynn. The Capricorn alpha accepted their meeting for the following day. With Walter going along, his bodyguards were sure to follow. That both helped and complicated the situation. Such a display of force, particularly with Charlie in attendance, might put the Capricorns on the defensive before anyone uttered a word.

Normally, the pack beta wouldn’t be the first choice of escort. They were too valuable for such a duty. But this was a special case, and Ewan worried anyone and everyone associated with him was a prime target for the Zodiac Councils.

Ewan finally hung up with Charlie. He watched me from the sofa, gaze boring into the back of my neck. Through the bond, I felt his desire stir.

“Don’t stare at me like that unless you mean it.” I turned to face him.

He sat with his legs spread, back leaning against the cushions. The sleeves of his flannel shirt were rolled up to elbows, and with the snow falling outside, I started to feel like we were in a Christmas movie. Like I was an attorney from the big city who’d come out to the mountains to do business things, and he was my hot-as-fuck, tractor-driving client, and our relationship started off with the opposite of a meet cute, but then we managed to get stuck together in this cabin because of a freak blizzard.

I really need to get laid, I thought.

Ewan spread his arms on the back of the sofa. “Keep going. I want to know how the story ends.”

I crossed my arms. “Stop reading my thoughts. That’s, like, abuse of power or something.”

He laughed, looking truly relaxed for the first time in days. This was my Ewan. The guy who didn’t take life too seriously, who cared deeply about others, who loved with his entire heart.

“My power is absolute,” he reminded me. “So, yeah, reading your thoughts is definitely permitted. Stop stalling, tell me how the movie ends.”

“Happily ever after, obviously. Otherwise it would be depressing, and holiday movies are meant to make humans happy, so they spent more money shopping.”

Ewan laughed so hard he snorted. “Who told you that?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I admitted. “Probably Zach.”

Just saying his name hurt. I’d been scared to let him see me without my wolf, and the crimson eyes were so much worse.

Maybe Winter can glamor me again, I thought.

Ewan’s expression softened, and he patted his thigh, a silent invitation to sit on his lap. My feet were already in motion by the time the brain processed the act, my body responding to his command without hesitancy.

He held out his hand. I slid my fingers between his and sank down on his jeans-clad lap. Ewan wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his chest. The soft flannel felt oddly luxurious against my cheek. I curled into him and pressed my face against his neck.

“I didn’t want this to be our happily ever after,” Ewan murmured into my hair.

“It definitely looked different in my head,” I admitted.

He squeezed me. “So you have thought about our future before now.” He sounded like he meant it to be teasing, yet it didn’t feel that way.

“Of course. I mean, not like the details. But, yeah, obviously I’ve thought about our happily ever after.” I sat up straighter and met his gaze. “Maybe even before this life. Zosia knew when she saw the baby in the carriage. My soul knew you from the day we met, even if it took the rest of me a while to catch up. Maybe she orchestrated this life so we could finally be together.”

Ewan turned, so we were face to face, and took my hands. “You are her, Zara. Don’t fight it. The memories will become whole when you accept the truth.”

“I don’t want to be her.” I hadn’t meant to say it. The words just slipped out. Of the two of us, I’d accepted my previous ego much more readily than he had. As a vampire, I’d seen too many of Zosia’s misdeeds to allow her space in mind.

“Why?” Ewan squeezed my fingers. “What have you seen?” He asked as if he knew the answer. “Tell me, Zara.” He didn’t use his alpha voice, which I appreciated, though I also sort of wished that he had. Then, we could get this conversation out of the way, and I could stop agonizing over it. “I need to know the truth.”

There was no point pretending I didn’t understand his real question, the one he was afraid to ask, and I was terrified to answer.

“I haven’t seen that night, the one where Zosia ended things.”

Gold overpowered crimson his irises as rage filled our bond. “I have. Millions of times. Every moment of that night is burned into my memory.”

Guilt made me nauseous. I had hurt him so badly. His heartbreak was palpable. A physical ache developed in my chest, like a piece of my heart cracked off. If I had needed air, I would have started hyperventilating. My mind and body were at odds with each other. Somehow, that was so much worse than an actual panic attack.

“It’s okay, Zara.” Ewan rubbed his thumbs over my palms, his soft, soothing tone contradicting the anger I felt burning inside of him. “I’m not mad. Not at you. Just, please, tell me why. What did Stavros do that made Zosia reject him?”

Understanding dawned. Ewan thought he had fucked up, that he had done something unforgiveable. He was mad at himself.

“Tell me,” Ewan repeated.

I shook my head, the explanation sticking in my throat.

“It’s okay,” he coaxed. “Whatever it is, you can tell me anything. I am your husband. What happened then doesn’t change that now, got it? There is nothing you can say that will make me stop loving you. I just need to know.”

Because I refused to let him blame himself, I decided to come clean.

“Stavros did nothing wrong. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t your fault.” I took an unnecessary breath. “It was mine. King Orrin. He called me to his chambers. Iliana saw us together, in the gardens,” I added for emphasis, since the overgrown floral lover”s dream was our normal rendezvous sight. “He said I was up for elimination and offered to save me if I told you it was over. I was scared, and I agreed.”

That was the truth as I knew it. I didn’t mention that I thought Zosia had an even greater reason for rejecting Stavros because I wanted to know the entire story before I told Ewan anything more.

For a long moment, he stared at me without speaking. Then, he wrapped me in his warm, protective embrace.

“I love you,” he whispered.

I made him wait just as long for a response as he’d made me wait. “I love you, too. I always have.”

My mouth found his. The kiss started off sweet, quickly becoming something deeper as his tongue slid between my lips. He tasted like the beer he’d been drinking, which was intoxicating for its normalcy. It furthered the fantasy of our holiday movie date night.

“Now can I have my reward for not eating anyone?” I nipped his bottom lip with my fangs as I drew back from the kiss.

Dark, desire-filled pools of crimson and gold swirled in eyes as he pretended to consider it. He was rock hard against my hip, and I dared to hope that he was done toying with my hormones and actually intended to re-consummate our marriage now that we were both vampires.

“I did get you a present for tonight.”

I kissed his neck, inhaling the scent of snow that clung to his skin. “Does it require batteries?” I asked because if he didn’t intend to touch me, I would take care of my sexual frustration on my own.

His hand slid under my borrowed sweater. “Sadly, no. But I’ll remember that for next time.”

My mouth moved to his jaw. “You’re proving to be an excellent mate already, very trainable.”

He caught my chin, and our eyes locked. “I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

“Then point me toward this present.”