Chapter Five | Ethan

It was raining lightly, and the wind was blowing as I stood off Government Street at the top of the square. I looked down at the circle of bricks that signified the location of one of the mid-nineteenth-century turrets of Fort Victoria's military bastion, giving the square its name of Bastion Square.

There were lots of restaurants within walking distance of this location. Victoria had the most restaurants per capita in Canada. Many of them in the downtown area. We had a lot of choices. I was curious about what Daniel might have in mind.

A smile spread across my face as I saw him approaching, his windbreaker tugged closed against the gusts off the ocean and the precipitation. He hustled toward me when he saw me, his lean legs pumping. He wasn't late, so he must simply be anxious to see me. I bit my bottom lip.

God, he's cute.

"Sorry, I had trouble parking the car," he said. "Crazy busy down here. Damn tourists."

"Friday. No worries. You're not late. I was early."

"I hope you didn't wait too long." His gaze wandered all over me—appreciative. "I didn't want to take a chance. I made a reservation. If you hate the place, we'll try our luck somewhere else."

"I'm easy." I badly wanted to link my arm with his and have him lead me where he wanted to go for dinner. I refrained from pulling him to me. If he was closeted or freshly out, he might not appreciate my need for public displays of affection. "Where to? "

"A little place I like down the square where everything on the menu is sharing plates." He smiled at me. "I always thought it would be a nice place to bring someone special."

Someone special.

That was me tonight. His words made me feel all gooey and warm inside.

"I know the one. Very sexy interior."

Daniel cleared his throat. "Certainly romantic."

I winked at him. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

He chuckled. "Is it working?"

"So far, you're winning points."

"Then I'm going to up my game." He hesitated then held out his hand to me. I nearly swooned. It was a significant step for someone who might simply be bisexual curious.

I slipped my hand into his. The release of breath he'd been holding was audible. He gripped me tightly and led me down the square to the atmospheric restaurant tucked into the corner of a massive stone structure. The outdoor tables, vacant, were alight with clear hanging Edison bulbs.

We took the steps down into the interior and were immersed in an intimate space with softly lit brick-lined walls and banks of wooden seating. After giving his name, Daniel and I were led to a table among five down one wall across from the well-stocked bar.

We were handed menus. "Your server will be with you in a minute."

"Thank you." Daniel sat across from me. I had a full view of the room.

"I hate having my back to a room or a door," I said.

"Yeah." His eyebrows rose. "Why?"

"I'm going to blame my sisters for introducing me to horror movies at a young age. Mom and Dad would go out and leave them in charge of babysitting." I huffed out a laugh. " They took it upon themselves to torture me into crying. Refusing to play with me if I didn't do as they said."

"Ah, the plight of the youngest child."

"Do you have siblings?"

"No, I'm an only child."

"Your parents?"

"My dad died when I was in my thirties. My mom is still around."

Before I had a chance to ask more, I leaned back as the server delivered two glasses of ice water. "Have you been here before?" the server asked. "Do you know how our menu works?"

"Yes, we've been here," I answered on behalf of us both.

"Can I start you with drinks?"

"Do you want to share a bottle?" Daniel asked me.

"Only if it's white. Red gives me a headache."

He looked up at the server. "We'll have a bottle of your best Pinot Grigio."

"Coming right up. I'll give you a few minutes with the menu."

"What are you thinking?" I asked once the server left us.

"Let's start with two salads."

"I'd like one of those to be the beet and kale one."

"Perfect. Green beans with almonds for the other?"

"Yum." I took a sip of my water. "Are you into beef tartare?"

"I'm willing to try it."

"It's wicked good here."

"Fried chicken with honey butter?" Daniel suggested.

"Yup," I confirmed. "And pork belly or ling cod?"

"The pork belly. I love the scallop they serve with it."

I laughed and placed my hand on the table nearest to Daniel. "God, I'm starving now." I hummed as Daniel took my hand. This was nice. I could get used to this with him .

"I'm glad we're doing this," he said, reading my mind.

"Me too. I was starting to think we'd never get here."

"You've thought about it?"

"How could I not?" I winked at him. "You're incredibly charming."

We separated when our wine arrived, and the server took our order. I was glad Daniel had an appetite. I'd never been afraid of good food. Thankfully, I was blessed with a feisty metabolism.

Daniel's physique was different than mine. Where I had tight abs, I suspected he was softer around his belly. The thought of kissing his stomach and laying my head on it … serenity.

My gaze was drawn to his greying temples and brilliant green eyes as he examined the bottle of wine. He had lines from smiling etched into his skin. They told a story of a life well lived.

He caught me staring.

I licked my lips, keeping my eyes focused on his. "I like what I see."

Daniel collected my hand in his. "What do you see?"

"Mm … a man who has love in his life. Both accepted and given. A man who knows what's important. A man who might be ready to open his heart even further."

Daniel released a shuddering breath.

Maybe I'd pushed too hard. But it's what I saw when I looked at him.

"Can we take our time?" Daniel asked.

My heart spoke. "As long as I'm taking that time with you."

Daniel pulled us out of the escalating sentimental words. He was right to. After this date, we'd both need time to analyze everything that had been said already.

"So, did you get out to see Phantom this week? "

I pulled back as the salads were delivered. "Worked on some vertical jumps with him." I took a small amount of each salad and put it on my plate. "Emma has been using the oxer with him."

Daniel tucked his napkin into the front of his shirt.

"Oxer?"

God … tucking the napkin beneath his chin. I could put Daniel on a spoon and eat him.

"It's a wider jump."

"What else do you do with him?"

I stabbed a beet. "Trail rides for fun. And I've started doing dressage with him."

"Explain that to me."

It took me a second. "It's like dancing. You direct the horse to execute intricate patterns and transitions from one gait to another. Sometimes I set what we're doing to music."

"I'd like to see that."

"Maybe someday." That would require Daniel to come out to my parents'. I had my concerns when it came to the possibility of someday introducing Daniel to them and my sisters. My date was likely only ten years younger than my parents. I'd need to be sure of our relationship.

We were nowhere near that yet.

This was our first date.

"What do you do for fun?" I asked.

"You're going to laugh."

"Why?"

"It makes me sound really old."

"So, like what … shuffleboard?"

Daniel laughed. "Okay, not that bad. I'm on a bowling team."

I pictured him in a bowling league shirt and leather bowling shoes and couldn't contain my smile. I'm sure he would look adorable. "I haven't been bowling since I was a kid."

"Birthday parties?"

"That would be the reason."

"Maybe I'll take you some time."

"I'd like that." The mains were dropped off. I set in on the fried chicken first. We chatted a bit about my last surfing trip to Tofino and how I'd gone with Liam. Then how Owen and I scheduled trips to Mount Washington for snowboarding at least twice during the season. Daniel had done some skiing when he was in his early 20s. Then his kids came along, and he stopped.

Daniel picked at the beef tartare on his plate. "I like to go camping."

I wrinkled my nose. "Never got into it. I'm not much for sleeping in a tent."

"I have a camper van," Daniel said.

"Really?" That sounded so much— "Better. A proper bed is important to me."

Oops.

Dangerous territory. We'd agreed to take it slow. A bed was not going to be a destination visit during tonight's evening together. Even though I was feeling it. The more time I spent with Daniel, the more I wanted him. It was clear by his breathing as he watched me, he wanted me too.

Daniel cleared his throat. "Tell me about those friends in your special group."

I had filled Daniel in a little in the past. In passing. "We started a group called the Salish Sea Society . Stupid name, I know, but we were odd kids desperately looking to belong somewhere."

"Odd? "

I waved my fork around. "Well, we're all gay for one. Didn't know that when we started the group. Noah and Liam came out first. Then me. Then Owen."

"Owen is your best friend?"

Daniel must have been paying attention to my rambling. "We were in art classes together."

"I didn't know you liked art. I used to try to draw when I was younger."

"Try?"

"I'm terrible at it. I'm better with numbers."

"You like your job?" I asked.

"I used to. It's wearing thin on me. I'm going to retire in a year."

I laughed then sighed. "Retirement is not in my future as long as that coffee shop is around."

"Does that bother you?"

"No. I wouldn't know what else to do with my time."

"I've had to do a lot of thinking about that."

"Any decisions?"

Daniel smiled at me. "A bit of camping. A bit of bowling. A bit of reading."

"A man of leisure."

He set his fork down and brushed his fingers across mine.

"I'd like to find someone to share it with."

My cheeks heated. We were revisiting those escalating sentimental words again. I slipped my hand into his. Caution to the damned wind. "I could get used to leisure."

"Are we finished here?" the server asked as she came to hover by our table.

God. Timing people.

"We're going to finish the wine," Daniel replied. "Then one check."

I waited until the server moved away. "We can split the check. "

"Nonsense. I asked you out."

We switched back to safer topics as we finished our wine. The running of the coffee shop. My love of baking. My time in Paris as an impressionable young gay man.

During a lull, I had a question.

"Have you ever been on a date or done anything with a man before?"

"Is it obvious I haven't."

I shook my head. "No, far from it. You seem comfortable."

"That's because I'm here with you."

I laughed. "You're dangerous. Such a sweet talker."

"It's all true. I feel at ease with you."

I needed to pull us back again. "We should go. People are waiting for our table."

Daniel motioned to the server, paid our bill, and helped me into my spring leather jacket. I'd toned down my wardrobe tonight to a respectable roar. Tight black jeans that made my ass look great and a silver button-up shirt with a stiff collar. It was obvious Daniel liked what he saw.

Even now, he was staring at me.

Hand in hand, we stood on the pavement.

"I parked in the Bastion parkade," Daniel said.

"I walked."

"Where do you live?"

"Over in Chinatown."

"In that case, it would be silly to offer you a ride."

"It would." Our evening together was winding to a close. Neither of us wanted it to be over, evident by how we wouldn't let go of one another. "I'll walk with you as far as the car park."

Daniel gripped my hand tighter, and we headed down Langley toward Yates. We could have walked in behind the old courthouse but that would have cut our trip short.

I ended up walking Daniel to his car .

"We should exchange numbers," I said, my voice quiet. My good mood from earlier had crashed. I didn't want to part ways with Daniel. I wanted to take him home with me, have him fuck me, and be held all night by him. I unlocked my phone and handed it to him.

"We'll do this again," he said.

I nodded as I entered my number in his phone. I was startled, absorbed in what I was doing, when he touched my face, using his thumb and forefinger to lift my chin until I met his gaze.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

No.

The truth was, I was close to tears.

"Can I be honest with you?"

A flash of concern passed through his eyes. But his voice was solid. "Always."

"I don't want this night to end."

In his eyes, relief.

And understanding. Agreement.

"I'm going to miss you until I see you again," Daniel said, confirming the parameters of what we were doing tonight. And what we weren't doing. I was … I was close to tears.

My body ached for him.

Daniel's fingers moved from lifting my chin to stroking my cheek. I leaned in against them, soaking up their warmth and affection. He drew his tongue across his lips as his gaze traveled from my eyes to my lips and back again. I parted my lips and bit my bottom one.

"God, you're beautiful," Daniel whispered as he threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. I trembled beneath his touch, his words filling a need I'd never known I had .

He drew me closer, his breath drifting across my lips. I steadied myself to fall into a deep abyss of euphoria with this man who had appeared in my life so unexpectedly.

Yes. God, yes.

I sighed and closed my eyes as he kissed me, ever so softly.

I gripped the shoulder of his coat to keep myself from crumpling to the ground as I turned myself over to him. I moaned, captured. There was only Daniel.

Golden trinket locks I'd come to believe no keys existed for fell open, dangling, one after another inside my chest. They left my heart exposed as our lips collided, seeking.

A chasm threatened to consume me as he pulled away.

Not ashamed of the fact, I whimpered.

Daniel was quiet as he gazed into my eyes, stroking my cheek. He dragged his fingers across my lips. "That was the best kiss I've ever had."

Shiver.

"I'll keep more warm for you." My cheekiness was coming back online.

Daniel smiled. "I'll gladly collect them." He leaned his back against his car, returned my phone, took his from me, pocketed it, and pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist, my hard cock pressed against his. He moved his hands onto my ass. "God, you feel good."

I ran my fingers across the hair at his temples then dug them into the short salt-and-pepper strands that framed his handsome face. I parted my lips, holding my mouth open, my top lip touching his. We shared breath—once—twice. His warmth filled me.

"Jeezus," he muttered then clasped the back of my head, guiding my lips to crash against his. This kiss was harder. More urgent. One hand on the back of my head, the other hauling on my ass .

I changed my stance, grinding my cock against his hard shaft. There was no doubt about his attraction to me. He'd never done this with a man before, but his body was all in.

We needed to stop before I dropped to my knees right there in the parking garage. We were both gasping as I pulled away. "I'm going to leave you to take that kiss home with you."

Daniel chuckled. "Regretting my earlier decision about taking our time."

I brushed my index finger across his puffy bottom lip. "I want you too … but not tonight."

Daniel nodded. "You're right. I should go before I haul you into my car."

I moved back so he could open his driver's door. Our gazes were locked until he closed that door. I rubbed my chest as he pulled out of the parking spot and drove away. I tried to close some of those little locks that had been left to hang open. My heart felt entirely too unprotected.

I kept my hand on my chest as I walked home, certain I would feel the rapid thrum of the frantic beating muscle there. I fell into bed thinking about him.

I retrieved my phone off the beside table.

Me: You up?

Owen: Watching television.

Me: I'm back from my date with Daniel.

Owen: How was it?

Me: I'm in trouble.

Owen: That good?

Me: Better than good.

Owen: Jealous .

Me: You'll find your guy someday.

Owen: Maybe when I'm 50.

Me: Nonsense. Okay, I'm off to sleep. Early morning. Just wanted to check in.

Owen: Goodnight.

Me: It's going to be a restless one.

I tossed my phone onto the mattress at my side. Just in case. I was surprised when it dinged. I assumed it was Owen. I lifted it to my face.

Daniel: I had an amazing time tonight.

I chewed on my bottom lip. I wasn't sure how forward to be. I decided on—

Me: You'll be on my mind all night disturbing my sleep.

There was a lengthy pause.

Daniel: Wish I was there to help you with that.

My cock throbbed as I imagined Daniel fucking me into oblivion. Wearing me out until sleep was a guarantee. His arms around me, kissing the back of my head. His breath on my hair.

I closed my eyes and groaned.

Me: Me too.

Daniel: Sweet dreams. Goodnight Ethan.

I grinned and chuckled. Sweet dreams.

Not a chance.

More like lurid dreams .

Me: Same to you. Talk soon.

Daniel: heart emojikiss emoji

Those tender emojis chosen by Daniel to signify how he was feeling about me made my smitten heart sing. I curled up beneath my blankets and pounded my pillow into shape.

I had been right.

Daniel drifted into my dreams. And stayed there all night as I tossed and turned.