5. Chapter 4

A familiar scent hits me like a brick wall, an aroma I have only been getting teases of since I was seventeen, sneaking off with a werewolf I had no business sneaking off with.

The smell burns into my skin like the cold on a frozen winter day, burrowing into my bones to make itself at home.

I follow the mouth-watering scent, turning where the wind is blowing it the strongest.

"What is it?" Iggy asks, tugging at my elbow to bring me to a stop.

"I smell him again. This time, it's overwhelming." My eyes roll to the back of my head as I inhale, and my fangs drop, preparing to sink into meaty flesh.

Only this time, the scent is different.

It's stronger. My body reacts. My blood heats. My want becomes unbearable.

"Beloved," I whisper in shock and immediate lust.

"Beloved?" Iggy gasps, snagging my arm tight. "But here? In Purgatory? Is that possible?"

I shake my head, opening my eyes to a tint of red when I see a massive werewolf with a skull mask running toward us on all fours. He must be the biggest werewolf I've ever seen. The muscles in his shoulders flex with every leap he takes, his claws fling dirt into the air, his growls awaken goosebumps on my skin, and his eyes glow a brilliant shade of amber.

I know those eyes. I know that body, those muscles, the ones working so hard to get to me. I've memorized his form in my dreams, the way he moves, his voice, and that's how I know this place is using him against me.

He's in physical form now.

I'm going mad.

I shove Iggy so hard, he flies twelve yards through the air. Slipping my daggers free from their holsters, I somersault to the right, just missing the massive paws of this beautiful wolf.

I know this can't be Aziel. He can't be here. He isn't real. Purgatory is pulling a sick joke, bringing every wish and every want to life. Every desire is staring me in the face, every dream, every tear I have ever shed, is snarling at me.

The Purgatory's version of Aziel turns to Iggy, snapping his jaws at my best friend.

"You motherfucker. Don't you dare go after him when you know it's me you want." I crouch, preparing to fight the demon embodying my one true love. I know it's him. He's the only one who can make me feel this way.

Hopeful. Beautiful. Strong. Resilient.

Aziel has always brought out the best in me, but I refuse to let this monster take the best from me.

I even feel the pull of my soul to him. The one that binds us together for eternity. Is it real? Would this mean if I were in his dimension, that we would be together? That we were meant to be?

Twirling the daggers in my hands, I launch myself at him, twisting through the air over his impressive form. The freshly sharpened blades slice between his shoulders, the flesh burning from the silver, and he shouts a call to the sky in agony, reaching for the bleeding wound.

The blood licks its fingers like a lustful lover. The mirage of Aziel sneers at me, his golden eyes glowing, swirling to the same shade as mine.

An occurrence that only happens when a werewolf meets their mate.

If this demon's goal is to hurt me, then the plan is working. Staring at Aziel for the first time in all these years, knowing it isn't him, it's as if I'm bleeding internally, and there's nothing that can be done to stop it.

Except death.

I land on my feet, throwing the dagger through the air with precision. It lands just to the left of his shoulder blade— I want to maim not kill.

He tosses his head back, roaring so loud from the agony, that my ears begin to ring. We begin to gather the attention of other doomed creatures here, the ones who were just watching the fight.

The beast cuts his eyes to me, a feral gleam twinkling in them. He reaches behind his head, wraps his fingers around the handle of the dagger, and without taking his eyes off me, he pulls it free from his body.

He doesn't even wince.

My eyes begin to burn with tears, and I refuse to let them fall. I toss the other dagger at vampire speed, and yet, he catches it before the metal tip makes contact with his chest. His palm smokes from the metal eating away at his skin. He drops my dagger onto the ground, kicking it away.

I'm without weapons now. I'll have to depend on myself, my speed, my claws, and my fangs.

"I'm not afraid of you," I tell him, slowly circling him.

He smirks, his tongue licking his own blood from his finger. A visceral desire stirs within me, my gaze dropping to how his tongue swirls, staining itself red.

My throat becomes dry, my fangs throb, and hunger twists my insides.

"You should be," the thunderous timber of his voice has me catching my breath.

He leaps again and I try to run away, to use my speed against him, yet he is shockingly fast. One arm wraps around my waist, tugging me tight against his firm chest.

"Elouise!" Iggy screams for me, shifting into his bear form.

He lumbers after me, the small brown bear moving his legs as fast as he can, but he gets lost in the crowd dispersing from the fight.

Iggy has no chance of catching this creature.

This is it for me. Purgatory has won.

After all this time fighting the little whispers of Aziel, I have lost.

Since I'm on my own without my daggers, I ball my fists and begin to wail onto his shoulders, back, anywhere I can reach. I hit him with my vampire strength. If this imposter was a human, one punch would explode the insides of his body just from the force.

I lean into him, getting close to his ear, and tears tickle my eyes again. My vision blurs and this time, the dam breaks. Warm wet drops fall onto my cheek. The heartache is unbearable.

He still has me clutched to his chest; his giant arm wrapped around my waist to keep me safe against him. We're in the depths of the forest now. I don't see the ribcage where the fights are or the crowd.

Or Iggy.

"You will never—" I sneer into the demon's ear, the salty tears rolling down my lips. "—Be him." I fight so many urges at once.

Desire. Need. Hope. Anger. Sadness.

They all swirl inside me, but I know what I need to do.

I have to kill the creature posing as my beloved. These Purgatory demons are smart to take him from my memories, and then add the cherry on top by pretending he would be my beloved.

It's sick and twisted, yet there are no better words to describe Purgatory.

I sink my fangs into his throat, preparing to rip his jugular out, when his blood flows across my tongue.

My eyes widen in shock when I don't taste the rancid blood demons usually have. A sweetness travels across my tastebuds instead, reminding me of a cool night when thunder rolled across the sky and I became so scared, I jumped into Aziel's lap.

"I got you," he whispered that night, wrapping his strong arms around me. "I'll never let anything happen to you." He kissed the top of my head. "I got you."

And right as I sank into his embrace, rain poured down on us, sending the scent of fresh water and flowers into the air. Thunder kept growling. Lightning kept striking.

But I was no longer scared because I knew Aziel would keep me safe.

Now, as this creature's blood pours down my throat, I taste that night. I taste the rain, the wind, the terror of thunder, the crack of lightning, and the sweet scent of flowers.

I sob, stealing another long deep drag of blood that tastes so fucking good. I didn't know Purgatory could go so far as to mimic Aziel's blood. I know this place isn't Hell, and yet, I've been living in my own worst nightmare since arriving here.

Smelling him.

Feeling his touch.

Hearing his voice.

It's this place's plan, isn't it? To slowly drive me insane until I'm nothing, not even someone's memory.

Just… gone.

The beast under me groans, skidding to a stop to toss me to the ground. The soil is cold and almost feels damp under my fingers. The small grains of dirt become trapped under my nails. Soggy leaves stick to my forearms as I back away from the largest werewolf I have ever seen besides Aziel.

He whips a large weapon from his back, slashing it out until the edge is at my neck, promising death.

Please.

I welcome it.

Blood stains the side of his neck, the small rivers trickling to his chest. My mouth waters for another sip of him. Just one more little lick up his neck so I can gather what is being wasted.

"Who the fuck are you? Because I know you can't be her." His chest rises and falls as he tries to catch his breath.

A cloud of warm air escapes his nostrils with every huff, his snarl warning me not to wait a second longer to answer.

My heart stops beating. It must because the blood rushes from my face. I have to be looking at a ghost. Gently, I push the weapon from my neck and hold out my hands in surrender as I stand.

"Don't move another inch!" he yells at me, his body betraying every word he speaks.

My eyes fall to his cock, long, hard, and thick. There's a bump at the base and I know that's the knot that will form during the first full moon of mating.

Swallowing my nerves, I take a step closer.

He seethes through his fangs, twirling his weapon in the air. "Don't take another step. I swear, I'll kill you. Who are you?"

His voice is deeper than I remember. There's a constant rumble after he says every word, almost like a constant growl.

"Who are you?" I ask of him, hope blooming like the flowers that used to surround us on our favorite cliff in the spring.

He lifts his weapon which has got to be made from someone he has killed here and lifts it to my neck again.

"Who I am doesn't concern you."

Again, I push the weapon away from me, following the pull to him that Fate has created until I'm standing directly in front of him.

This has to be Aziel. Purgatory demons aren't great at copying deep heartfelt emotions.

Pressing my hand against his chest, I gasp when his warmth seeps into my palm. He growls in pleasure, dropping his weapon to place his gargantuan hand over mine.

"Kill me already," he whispers, his eyes all I can see through the mask. "I can't fight the demons that look like the woman I love."

My bottom lip trembles as I reach for his mask, standing on my tiptoes, and still, I can't reach. He's so tall.

"Killing you is the last thing I want," I reply just as a tear breaks free of my lashes.

He bends down, allowing me to remove his mask. I hold my breath, afraid of what could happen at any moment. This could be the only second the demon allows me to have peace before making his move.

He turns his head before I can take the mask off, closing his eyes. "You feel so good," his breath catches when I turn him to face me again.

If he is demanding who I am and if I'm demanding who he is, then maybe… maybe he isn't a demon after all.

Gripping the edge of the skull, I pull it free, showing more of his dark grey hide.

When his face comes into view, my fingers lose all their strength, and the mask drops from my hand to the ground.

I gasp, covering my mouth, and scramble backward until I hit a tree. I point to him, a crying mess at this point because I don't know what's real or fake anymore.

"Tell me something about yourself that no one here would know," I yell at him, the kind of shout that comes deep within someone's soul when they don't know up from down, left from right.

Sorrows I've kept buried deep in my heart, in the depths of my mind, break free.

"Tell. Me," I sniffle.

His eyes become round wide moons as he slowly steps closer, a glisten in his irises when tears fill them too.

"I never wanted to be the Alpha of my pack. I only ever wanted you." He stops in front of me, leaving enough space for us to process what is happening.

Silence falls between us as we stare at each other, not knowing what to say or do. I'm wondering if I'm really standing in front of him after so much time apart.

He lifts his arm, stretching it out, and his fingers graze my cheek. "I'm dead, aren't I? That's the only explanation for me seeing you. It's the only heaven I've ever wanted."

I sob, leaning into his touch, and shake my head. "This isn't heaven. You aren't dead." I kiss his palm, over and over again, until I work my way up his forearm. "Oh God, please let it be you. Please," I beg to someone, anyone who will listen.

"Louie?" He chokes out my nickname and for the first time, I'm not bothered hearing it.

"Aziel," I release his name on a breath, but then crimson tints my vision, remembering the most important detail. "Beloved." My fangs drop, my gaze meeting his.

His nostrils flare and he snags me by the waist, yanking me against his hard cock. "I always knew you were mine. My mate." He shifts into his hybrid form, his skin the color of rain clouds.

"My fucking mate." He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and tugs me against him as he leans down, stealing my lips in a searing kiss.

It isn't like the first time when we were kids and uncertain where it would lead. Now, Purgatory isn't the time or place to give in to our instincts, but if we don't, it could mean we die.

He lifts me into the air effortlessly, and my legs wrap around the body that's built for pure destruction. Against me, he feels like less of a weapon and more of someone who was built just to please me.

Aziel slams me against a tree, the power of him causing the trunk to splinter in half. He knows he doesn't have to worry about hurting me.

I'm a vampire.

I can take whatever he gives.

"Let me see your human form," I whisper against his lips.

He shakes his head, capturing my lips again in a wicked, desperate kiss. "Not in Purgatory. I have to be able to protect you." He grips my shirt by the hem and tugs it over my head, tossing it to our left.

I grip his face, forcing him to look at me. "I can take care of the both of us if anything happens. It's been so long since I've seen your face. Please, Aziel," I beg of him, rubbing my thumbs over his sharp cheekbones.

He tugs on one of my curls, smiling softly before inhaling and closing his eyes. His grey skin recedes. The small amount of fur lining his arms disappears and turns into a dark brown dusting of hair.

His jaws shrink. His fangs become smaller, but they don't vanish. The cuspids are sharp, the point pressing against the dusty pink flesh of his bottom lip. He loses a few inches of height, morphing from his hybrid form to his human, but it doesn't make him less impressive at all.

The man before me is strong, still taller than most, and his wide chest flexes as I rub my hands across it. His skin pebbles under my touch, his nipples beading tightly as I tease the left side. Aziel growls in pleasure.

I finally bring my eyes from the middle of his chest, noticing for the first time just how many scars riddle his physique.

There aren't many things that can scar a werewolf like this. These scars don't look random. They seem too precise. I open my mouth to ask him, unable to drag my eyes from his chest when his fingers slip under my chin. Aziel tilts my chin up and for the first time in years, I'm able to see his face.

My breath catches when I finally see him.

Not his hybrid.

Not his werewolf.

But him.

And don't get me wrong, I love all his forms.

I want all his forms.

"I'm okay," he tells me.

Tears cloud my vision, a storm waiting to burst with relief at finally having him in my arms and not my dreams.

"I've tried to put you in the back of my mind for years thinking I'd never see you again," I admit with a broken heart. "The memory of you was so painful." I drag my fingers through his long, shoulder-length hair. The strands are wavy and a mess. There is a strip of silver hair that frames his face. When he is in his werewolf form, that silver is a small patch on his chest.

An overwhelming surge of heat cramps my stomach. I tighten my legs around his waist, pulling myself closer to him until the tips of our noses touch.

We don't have much time.

"And I've kept you in the forefront of my mind because I knew it was the only place I'd ever see you again," he whispers, his breath ghosting over my lips that are still tingling from our kiss.

I press my forehead against his, wishing we had more time to talk, to be together, to relish in this happiness I've been begging for ever since I was forbidden to ever see him again. The mating heat is acting fast. I can feel it. My veins are beginning to burn. My need for him is becoming too hard to ignore, and with him looking at me as if I'm his next meal, makes my control that much harder to maintain.

My fingers trace over his defined jaw, his scruff a bit wild. I like it, though.

Because he is wild, and I wouldn't want him any other way.

"I missed you. It isn't supposed to be like this. This isn't how we were supposed to be together."

"I don't care how we are together as long as we are." He wraps a hand around my throat, pinning me against the tree again. The wood splinters from his strength, the trunk threatening to snap in half. His gold eyes swirl, matching the color of mine, and everything settles in my soul.

"And I won't let anyone, or anything take you from me again. Do you understand me? You were mine then and you are mine now. This time, Fate made sure of it. There's nowhere you can go, Louie. I'll find you. In any dimension. In any hell. In any life. I'll travel the stars even if it means embracing your bones."

I've been fighting in Purgatory for so long, I forgot what it felt like to completely surrender.

"I'd eat them," he snarls against my lips.

"My bones?" I ask, horrified, my eyes widening in fear.

He licks my lips, a feral gleam in his eyes, the kind that tells me our time to talk is nearly over.

"So I know you'll always be with me. In my blood. In my own marrow. And then, I'd die without you. Our ashes becoming one."

I grip him by the back of his hair, forcing his head back, and he has the audacity to moan. His lips part and he grins, his fangs urging me to force them into my neck to mark me.

"You've made death sound more romantic than it should be." I lick from the bottom of his chin to his lips. "There's something really fucked up about that, Aziel."

"Then I'll bring you as close to death as possible, so you get to experience it."

I wrap his hair around my wrist, forcing him forward. His lips own mine once more, our tongues swirling, his hands gripping at my curves. There's a lawless desire as he touches every inch of exposed skin. There's no more hiding. We aren't kids anymore. We aren't forbidden.

And yet…

The same emotions swirl inside me from when we were teens, that panic of being found and sneaking to see one another.

Our love for one another has no rules anymore. Fate decided we are to be together and that's enough for me.

I pull away, his face a vision of red as my eyes shift, proving my carnal desire. Licking my palm, I reach between his legs, wrapping my hand around his thick cock. My fingers don't touch.

And we both gasp for very different reasons.