19. Chapter 18

I yank my daggers out of a skelewolf's throat, its blood pooling onto the ground reminding me of my thirst.

The sky has been drizzling blood, preparing itself to pour, and I'm running out of time.

"Well, don't you look pretty and all alone?"

I scoff, wiping the skelewolf's blood on my pants to clean my daggers. I don't need to turn around to see who it is. I recognize the voice.

"Long time no see, Flynn." I spin around in the field where the avisseus seemed to spit me out.

I'm in Purgatory still. I'm on my own. No Aziel. No Iggy. I've never been more terrified to die until right now. Aziel is coming for me. I only need to survive a little bit longer.

"Looks like you've run out of time. I really don't like that you left the group, Elouise. You took Iggy with you." He rubs his hand over his mouth in frustration. "And that really ruined my plans on getting out of here."

"I knew you were going to use him. He is nowhere near you now. You'll never see him again."

"The entire group has died because you left!" he yells, blurring until he is only a few feet away from me. "You kept us all alive with your fighting skills and now it's just me. I'm going to enjoy taking you and killing you. Rumor has it you met your beloved. He's nowhere to be found. It looks like I have you all to myself."

I'm halfway between dead and fucking feral. I dare him to come at me with nothing but fury because I will slaughter him for so much less than that.

Twirling the dagger in my hands, I laugh, a hint of madness to it. My eyes morph red. "I'd really love to see you try, but I can't wait until I'm on top of you, dagger to your heart while I make you my bitch."

I can't remember the last time I killed a vampire but with how crazed I am right now, I'll kill him by draining his blood. Maybe it's an act of cannibalism, but I call it survival and revenge.

"Come on. What are you waiting for? I can't wait to top you, Flynn. Isn't that what you want?" I taunt, letting my daggers dance over my fingers.

Blurring, he launches himself at me. Luckily, since I'm also a vampire, I can track him. I lunge forward, calculating where he will be next. My dagger gets him right in the side. He stops running and holds a hand to the wound. The smell of his blood is rancid. My stomach revolts at the thought of drinking it, but I need to. I've gone too long without Aziel's blood, especially since we aren't fully mated. I need him more.

And he isn't here. I'm so fucking thirsty that I can hardly think straight. He sweeps out his leg and it slams against my ankles. I hit the ground hard and fast, smashing my head on the ground so hard, I bounce.

I groan but I have no time to think about my injuries. Even the split second of realizing I'm in pain is too long to go without being aware of my surroundings.

"You always were a fucking bitch thinking you were better than everyone else." He holds my arms above my head, straddling my waist.

Flynn grips my wrists so hard, he turns my hands to one another, then pushes them together. The daggers pierce through my palm, the silver burning the wound to keep it from bleeding.

"How does that feel, Elouise? To be stabbed with your own daggers?"

A dark, ironic laugh bubbles up my throat. My eyes turn to slits as I meet his manic gaze. "I guess you missed the part where I'd cut myself with these daggers all the time to up my pain tolerance." I rear my head back, smashing his nose with my forehead.

He falls backward, tilting his head back when blood pours freely. "You fucking bitch."

I giggle, feeling slightly crazed from needing my Beloved's blood. At the same time, I pull my hands free, then yank one dagger out, flinging it at Flynn. It stabs him in the middle of the throat. His eyes widen, gasping for air. His hands fly to the dagger in the middle of his windpipe. He tries to yank it free but before he can, I pull the other dagger from my hand and launch it between his eyes.

He falls onto his back and when he is pulling one of my blades free, I'm on top of him just like I promised, pushing the dagger back in its place.

"Who is the fucking bitch now?" I sneer, bending down to lick his neck where I'm going to feed. "Feels terrible being so hopeless, doesn't it? Maybe I'm not the issue, Flynn. It isn't my responsibility to keep you or anyone alive. Maybe, you should count on yourself before you count on others. You never know when the person who has been protecting you—" I nibble his ear "— decides to kill you."

Ever so slowly, I tug the dagger from between his eyes. Blood drips down the bridge of his nose, and I flatten my tongue against his flesh, licking it clean. It tastes terrible. It almost burns my mouth from how rotten his blood is.

I spit it out, doing my best not to gag. "I should have known you would taste like spoiled milk."

"You're—" he gasps as my hand remains on the handle of the dagger pushed into his throat. "—You're insane."

Pressing the edges of the blade against his throat, I shake my head. "No, I'm fucking pissed, and I will bleed everything dry to celebrate my rage." I cut his jugular before sinking my fangs into his neck.

He screams in agony the best he can but his voice is so quiet.

I pull free, gagging when his blood tries to come up my throat, but I refuse to let him see weakness. "Aw, what's wrong, Flynn?" His blood stains my teeth and drips down my chin, splashing against his cheek. "Dagger cut your tongue?" I cackle, dipping my hand in his mouth and slicing his tongue so he can't scream.

"How does it feel to be stripped of your dignity?" I rub my hands across his chest. "I think it feels pretty good." I yank his head to the side, shove my face into his neck, and bite as hard as I can.

Vampires don't feed on other vampires. It's the worst kind of crime to commit against your own kind. If we weren't in Purgatory, I'd likely find myself here if I did this on the other side.

I continue to feed. My eyes burn from keeping his blood down. I've never tasted anything so bad in my entire life, but my hatred for this man runs deep. I didn't realize how far until this very moment. He's a user. He was going to use Iggy for his own gain which has me digging my fangs in further, ripping his vein to shreds.

He gurgles, unable to swallow with the dagger in his throat. His attempts to push me off him slow. His hits become softer. His body loses strength and before I know it, he is still.

No heartbeat. That will change if I don't kill him. Vampires heal and we can't have that.

Taking my dagger from his throat, I stake his heart, releasing the last breath of air he had from his lungs before his skin fades to ash and all that is left are his bones.

I gag, the blood boiling in my stomach, and I fall onto my hands, spewing the putrid liquid from my system. The blood seeps into the hungry soil, reminding me that even the dirt in Purgatory is a monster.

My veins boil with the betrayal of feeding from another vampire. My hand flies to my stomach, cramping as if my own daggers are twisting in my gut.

I throw up again, painting the ground until I dry heave. I spit the excess blood in my mouth and groan, flopping onto my back.

I'm alone.

"You're running out of time."

I don't need to look at the person talking to realize who it is.

"Not now, Death."

"The downpour is going to happen any moment. The full moon is near and so is your heat."

I sigh, throwing my arm over my eyes. "You don't think I know that? I feel it. I feel crazed and hungry. My body is on fire for Aziel. I'm alone in this place, and I hate hoping he finds me in time."

"I think he will," Death says, taking a seat next to me. "I have faith in that werewolf. He's proven himself over the time he has been here." He places his elbows on his knees. "You're an impressive warrior." He praises the destruction around me.

"Yeah, well," I readjust my position on the ground to get more comfortable. "It isn't like I have a choice. Either kill or be killed."

"What will you do if you're trapped here?"

"I'll kill myself," I whisper the words before I even truly have a chance to think about it. "If it means I have to live the rest of my days here without Aziel, experience the pain of losing him all over again, knowing I can't be with him, why would I want to live?" I shake my head, glancing up at the reddish black sky as the drizzle of blood mists onto my face as the clouds threaten to unload fifteen year's worth of death onto me. "No, I'm not doing that again. I'm not being teased with his love only for it to be taken away from me. I've done that once and that one time nearly killed me. The moment this blood rain happens and I'm stuck here, I'll be staking myself with my own dagger."

"There's no need to cause yourself pain. If death is what you want, I can give it to you very easily with just a touch," Death offers, lifting his hand and wiggling his fingers. "Honestly, doing that will probably hurt me worse than you."

"Why? Why would it bother you if it did?"

"Taking away a life when it deserved to be lived always hurts me. People think I can simply take souls and move on, that I'm accustomed to taking life away from someone. I am not. Every soul I take hurts me because I feel everything they feel in that split second. I experience their grief of dying. All of their hopes and dreams they left unfinished, I feel. The worst is taking a soul and experiencing a monumental love they felt for another because oftentimes, I also feel the mourning of their loved one too. I get a double dose. I feel everything in someone's death because I am Death. I have yet to feel a greater pain than someone's heart clenching from the agony of knowing any second or minute, the love of their life will not be there. I get to experience the soul I took grieve a life they never got to complete."

"That's terrible. I'm so sorry. I had no idea you felt all those things. That has to be so difficult."

He stares into the forest, nodding in agreement. "I also see the rest of the life they missed. I give them the option if they want to see it or not."

"You see what hasn't happened yet in someone's life?"

"Only when they die. It's why I'm such an emotional guy. You'd think it would get easier over all the millennia, but it doesn't. Every day gets harder and just when I think, ‘Wow, no one can love a person as much as that guy loved their spouse.' I'm always proved wrong. Someone always loves someone more and more and it consumes for that split second when I reap their soul."

"It sounds like you're the only being in the universe that could handle such responsibility."

"I am," he frowns, a sadness overtaking his voice. "There will never be anyone else but me."

I take his hand and smile at him. "Well, if you ever need to vent, just know I'm here. I'm your friend. I might not be able to experience what you do, but I'm a great listener."

"A friend? Death doesn't typically have friends."

"It's only because they are afraid of you. I'm not. I've faced you too many times and have won." I wink, hoping to bring up his mood.

The blood rain begins to fall harder, bringing a slight sting to my skin with every drop.

He glances up to the sky and smiles before spreading his wings. "And it looks like you have beat me yet again. I'll be seeing you on the other side, Elouise. I hope you know, I feel the love you and Aziel have for one another. In all my time, I have never felt anyone love one another more. I hope to never have to experience your love in death because I think it would kill me."

I sit up in the field, wanting to ask him what he means when Purgatory begins to fade and drip as if it is melting like a freshly lit candle.

I close my eyes and surrender to the unknown.