18. Chapter 17

I wake up with a loud howl that shreds my throat.

I taste blood.

"Woah! Woah! Oh my God. Holy fuck, Master Monreaux!" A feminine voice is distant and unrecognizable. She sounds nothing like my mate.

My mate.

"Where is she?" I growl, Uri somehow tight in my hand. I roar again to the werewolf standing in front of me. Spit flies from my mouth. I slam the end of Uri on the ground and begin to pace, not knowing where I am.

I'm in a house. There are windows. The floors are wood. Everything is bright. Too bright. I'm used to the dark.

The werewolf in front of me steps forward, and I snarl in warning.

"It's me, Aziel. It's Anwyll." His eyes become glassy, swimming with tears. "It's your baby brother. You remember me. You're home." His eyes dart all over me. "You're safe. Who are you looking for?"

I gasp for breath when I realize I'm home.

I'm home without my heart. Reality crashes down on me and Uri falls from my hand as I stumble backward. I look all over the room, feeling enclosed. Everything feels like it's closing in. My hand clutches my chest as my heart races.

She shoved me through the portal without her. Me and Iggy but I don't know where Iggy is. I honestly don't care right now.

I have to find her. I have to go to her.

"It's me. Anwyll. You know everyone here. Aziel?"

I rush forward, bringing my brother into a tight hug. "Help me find her. Please. Help me."

Anwyll wraps his arms around me tight and for the first time, I feel like the younger one between us. He's comforting me.

"Whatever you want, Aziel. I'm just glad you've found your way back to your body. I've missed you so much. How is the pain?"

"Unbearable," I whisper, my soul shattered from the agony of not having her by my side.

"Maybe Maven can figure out a spell or potion to help."

"No, my physical pain is gone. I don't have any. I need my mate, Anwyll." I pull away from him, gripping his shoulders instead as I look him in the eye. "I met my mate in Purgatory, and I have to go find her. You never met her, but I fell in love with her when I was seventeen. Her name is Elouise. She's there. Where we grew up. I have to go back. Right now. I only have until the full moon or she's stuck in Purgatory forever," I say everything so fast, I forget to breathe.

"How about you eat, fuel up, and we will get everything for your journey," Alpha Monreaux says from the doorway, leaning against the frame in his expensive suit. "You have a lot to catch us up on."

"I don't have time for fucking gossip. I need marigold powder or I'm going to one of the portals. I need to go now." I take a step forward and Alpha Alexander stands in my way.

"You just woke up from being in Purgatory. You were treated for werewolf sickness. You made painful noises in your coma. While you might feel fine now, your body and soul have been separated for a while. You need to eat. We will leave this afternoon for your mate. You'll find her."

A few more of the people who make the coven/pack crowd the doorway.

"That's enough. Everyone go downstairs. He will see us in a minute." Everyone flees except a strawberry-blonde woman who clings to Anwyll.

My memory is fuzzy but I remember Anwyll telling me about her. "You must be my brother's mate. Ru, I think. It's nice to meet you." Everything I ever said to Anwyll about his mate when I was sick has me ashamed of myself. "I'm so sorry for what I said, Anwyll. I would have never— I'm sorry."

"We aren't mad at you. We don't blame you. We're happy you're safe. You're home."

"It's good to have you back, Big Brother." Anwyll hugs me again. "I've been so fucking worried about you."

I pat his back, burying my face in his shoulder. "Thank you for not listening to me," I whisper, remembering the promise I forced him to make.

"I would have never listened to you. Not without trying to save you first," my baby brother says. "Now, enough of this mushy stuff." He shoves me away, wiping the tears from his eyes, and clears his throat.

He always wore his emotions on his sleeves. I envied him for that. For the majority of my life, I've been angry, just like I am now.

"Let's go get some food and fill us in. You can shift into your human form, by the way. No threats here."

I pick up Uri from the floor, staring at the weapon that helped me survive. "If it's okay, I'll stay in this form. I don't plan on being here long when my mate needs me."

Anwyll nods. "I'll come with you back home. I won't let you go alone."

"No. You have children." I narrow my eyes in thought. "You do, right? I think I remember that."

"Triplets," Ru pipes in.

"You'll stay here with them."

"I'm not a baby, Aziel. I traveled the fucking worlds for your treatment. I can handle going home."

"I won't allow you."

"You don't control my decisions!" he roars at me, shifting into his beast to challenge me.

Something he has never done before.

"I am going with you."

"No. You aren't. Not because I'm worried about you. I know you can handle yourself. This is between me and my mate. I won't let you risk your life when you have your own mate and children waiting for you. I'm not thinking of you. I'm thinking of them. And you should too." I holster Uri, give Anwyll a pat on the shoulder, and walk out of the room.

I wish the moment of finally seeing him was better. I wish there were no obstacles to get in the way of being home with my pack again but there's no time to waste. I'll get Elouise and then I can be happy. Right now, I'm only in a different Purgatory.

A life without Elouise after experiencing what life could be like? That's Hell in itself.

I jump down the steps, landing on the bottom floor with a loud thump. The chandelier crystals above clink together from the vibrations. I follow the scent of Alexander Monreaux, the coven's Master, but he's graciously allowed Anwyll and I to call him Alpha. The coven is now our pack. Since that is what werewolves are used to, he wanted us to feel at home.

He's a thoughtful leader. I'm not sure if I'd be the same, which is why it is best I never become Alpha of my own pack. I'm calm and collected most of the time but my patience wears thin fast.

I step over Whiskey, Pa's familiar and now the pack's family pet. He snores, not even bothering to wake up. When I get to the kitchen I see Alpha along with Greyson, Luca, Alistair, Luna, Maven, Dottie, Drayce, and Severide.

That reminds me of Atreyu. They deserve to know everything that happened in Purgatory.

Raw steak is laid out on a plate. "It's all for you, Aziel. Now, tell us about your mate. Where is she?"

I use Uri as a utensil— oh, how the mighty have fallen— and bite a piece of steak free. My stomach growls as the blood rolls down my tongue. I snarl, ripping the steak to pieces as if I'm feasting on a dead animal.

"Damn," Luca sings. "It ain't going anywhere, dude. You can slow it down. Don't choke." I snarl at him, flashing my fangs. I have no doubt there is meat caught between my teeth.

"He hasn't eaten in this form in ages, Luca. Keep your mouth shut." Greyson smacks the back of Luca's head.

I snag another piece of meat, then another, and another. I feel better now and my irritation eases. I wipe my mouth on my arm and lean against the counter. So many thoughts run through my head, so many moments in Purgatory. I can't figure out what to tell them first.

"My mate. Her name is Elouise Durand."

"Of the Durand Coven? I thought they had all died," Alpha says.

"That would be because of me and Anwyll." A new pain rips through me, one filled with so much guilt. "I bit her. So she's in a coma which is why she wasn't able to come back with me. Her friend Iggy was able to come back too, but I don't know where his bones were."

"You can be dead but if your bones are still in your dimension, you can come out of Purgatory and claim them?" Luca asks, wonderment in his eyes.

"Yes," I nod. "So I'll need sunset magnolia powder to go get her if that's okay. I shouldn't run into any issues. I'd prefer to go alone."

"No, you aren't going alone. Greyson and Luca will go with you."

"I've been fighting for my existence in Purgatory for months," I sneer. "On my own. If I died, Anwyll wouldn't have remembered me. Just like our dad."

"I was wondering why I couldn't remember him. I was telling a story to the triplets and midstory, I forgot," Anwyll explains.

"Because he was there, and he decided to fight me. I don't have time to get into this right now."

"Make time," Alpha orders.

"No!" I slam Uri on the counter and break off a piece. "If it was any of your mates you would feel the same. I'm not getting into everything. I will when I get Elouise back. Atreyu was there. He says he misses everyone, but he has no plan on returning ever."

Everyone shouts as one, Alexander and Severide the loudest.

"I don't know! He doesn't want to come back. That's all I know. He said for me to tell you that he misses you. That's it. Also, Brenden was there, and he met his mate, Azazel."

The room falls quiet.

"Azazel escaped when I did, and he plans on finding Brenden to awaken him. Assume Azazel knows where Brenden is because Elouise told me where she is so that only makes sense. It's time for better defenses here. Azazel and Brenden will come."

"Why didn't you kill Brenden?" Alpha questions through a seethe.

"Because he said you would never walk in sunlight again if I did, so I put the pack ahead of my own wants." I thud Uri against the ground. "It's wonderful to see everyone but where is the sunset magnolia powder?"

"Here." Luna strolls over to a big wooden box by the door and opens the lid. "This is all Reuel has made. It should last a while. Take as much as you need."

"No one here will get in the way of seeing your mate," Maven enters the room, tossing her red hair up in a high, messy ponytail. "If you want to go alone, fine, but you aren't alone. You don't have to do anything alone again, Aziel. If you insist, let me spell your weapon so you're more protected."

I nod, holding out Uri for her. "This is something I need to do on my own. I found her in Purgatory. I need to find her here. I put her in the coma and it's up to me to get her out."

Maven offers a soft smile as she walks up to me, her stomach round with another pregnancy. She eyes Uri, rubbing her hand down the handle.

The Coven Witch is impressed. "You made this out of a creature you killed in Purgatory."

"I did."

"Impressive. Would you want to be head enforcer here? I think you'd be perfect for it."

"Yes, I would. Thank you, Coven Witch."

"No formalities, Aziel. Just Maven."

"Maven. Thank you."

"Do you know why you could feel your mate in Purgatory? Sense her? Smell her? Even here when you fell sick, you said you smelled her, remember?"

"How do you know all that?"

"As if I'd let one of my own be unwell without getting answers," she rolls her eyes. "I read. I read all the books about Purgatory and it is fascinating. Sometimes time in all the dimensions line up." She holds up her finger. "Sometimes. So when you were here and she was in Purgatory, you two were in the same place at the same time, different dimensions, but that's why you could smell her. That's why you spiraled. She was right there for you, but you wouldn't have been able to reach her."

"And when I was there? Why could I smell her? Purgatory messes with the mind, it was probably nothing."

"Or you were smelling her in the same dimension yet at a different time. What if you smelled her because she was in that exact spot you stood in? It doesn't happen for everyone, but fated mates don't play by the rules. You two were always meant to find each other. Only the time had to be perfect for you to meet. You did. And now, it's time to find her again."

"Why couldn't we go to other dimensions while we were in Purgatory? I heard stories about souls being able to leave."

She nods in understanding. "It's so rare. There has to be a small tear when the dimensions line up perfectly for that split second. It's also dangerous. If you had attempted, the tear could have repaired itself and you could have died. I'm glad you knew better." She winks.

Her hand wraps around the handle and she shuts her eyes. Uri begins to get warm. The bone trembles. A cast of blue engulfs it before it quickly fades.

"Now, you'll be able to use it before an enemy is close. Slam your weapon on the ground, point it, or even if you're cutting someone, it will kill them instantly."

"Wicked," I whisper with awe, staring at Uri in more fascination than I used to. "Thank you."

"It's good to have you back, Aziel. Come back safe so we can get more of your story."

I scoop a giant bag of sunset magnolia powder and tie it to my holster. "If I can survive Purgatory, I can survive this. I'll see you all soon."

"You'll think about where you want to go and the powder will take you there," Maven explains. "That's all you need to do."

The group follows me outside. A few lean against the porch railing and the others stand on the steps. Anwyll has a concerned, sad expression on his face with his arm wrapped around his mate.

"Please come home," he says. "I just got you back."

"I will. I didn't fight for my existence in Purgatory to die now, baby brother. I'll see you soon." I toss a handful of sunset magnolia powder in the air and think of the cliff I fell in love with Elouise on, The Lookout Point. I imagine the cave carved into the side, a place where we would go to escape the rain, or just to be alone to steal touches or even just to nap together.

So much innocence trapped in that cave, and I plan to have it unravel.

Opening my eyes, the portal is in front of me. The woods of what used to be my home beacon me forward. It's all so bright, so green. I'm not used to colors yet when everything has been dark for so long.

Taking one last look at my pack, I step through and transport myself to a place I never thought I'd see again.