15. Mine

15

Mine

Teal

Mine .

It’s a territorial word for a man who is known for his conquests. But as Declan looks down at me kneeling before him, demanding I claim him as much as he claims me, I accept this sick arrangement.

I let him be the bandage on a wound that’s been seeping for so long there’s no stitching it back up.

With Declan, I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to be in control. He spins a careful web to trap me, and in it, I don’t want to see past the cobwebs.

Declan stares into my eyes, and for a split second, I question why I’ve spent all these years hating him. Is it that he’s the mirror I’m afraid to peer through when all I find there is the sickness I’m terrified to face within myself ?

He wipes his thumb over my lips and shoves it in my mouth. And he doesn’t need to tell me what to do for me to close my lips around him and clean up what’s left of the mess.

I plant my hands on Declan’s knees and lift. The taste of him is still on my tongue as I climb onto his lap and straddle him. Through my pants, I can feel his cock already pulsing, even though he just came.

I shouldn’t want this, but I do.

Declan’s hands grip my hips, stroking the sides of my thighs, and he wakes up everything that’s been dormant.

I’ve felt nothing but irritation toward this man for years, and yet, my body reacts. I let my rage be the fuel for something else. Something burning so hot in my core it aches to get out. I settle my hands on his thick shoulders and stare into his eyes, rocking ever so slightly.

“This doesn’t change how I feel about you,” I tell him, even if there’s a crack in my voice as I say it.

My heart tries to argue with my tongue as it drums harder against my ribs. I might have accepted this deal, but it doesn’t mean I can let that bloody mess in my chest get involved.

He’s still Declan Pierce, a coldhearted bully.

And I’m Teal Donovan, slowly losing my mind, waiting for it all to catch up with me.

“Same,” Declan agrees.

His expression doesn’t change the slightest, and the disappointment that he doesn’t argue with me is worse than his hate. After all we’ve been through—years of torture—I wish he’d fight me for a different reason in this moment.

I hate everything about him.

What he makes me do.

What he makes me feel.

That he makes me feel at all.

The doctors solved that problem years ago. But now it’s back. The flutters beneath my ribs. The itch crawling my skin.

Declan’s touch makes every sensation more intense. And when he hurts me—like when he shoved his cock down my throat so hard I thought he might be splitting me open—I almost felt alive again.

“What now?” I ask when Declan’s yet to speak or move.

I don’t usually need direction, but at this moment, I crave his demands. The order he makes of my chaos puts me at ease.

Declan leans his head back on the chair, watching me. His hand drags over my thigh, trailing in until he’s rubbing his knuckles over my pussy. Through my pants, my core tickles with anticipation. A heavy weight settles, and I catch my breath.

“Just because you’re my girlfriend doesn’t mean I’ll be sweet with you.” His jaw tenses. “I can’t.”

I believe him.

Declan isn’t sweet. He hurts like hell.

“I don’t need sweet.” I rock in his lap, testing this line that’s sure to cause us both trouble. “And I don’t need gentle. You read my records, so you know that’s not what I want.”

“I do.” The corner of his mouth lifts. “So then, what are you sitting in my lap asking me to do to you, Teal?”

I narrow my eyes. “You want me to say it?”

“Mm-hmm.” He grabs my jaw, pulling my face closer so he can brush his lips over mine. “No more hiding from us. I want you to hear it from your dirty little mouth.”

“Jerk.”

“I appreciate the attempt at foreplay, but if you want this, you’ll have to admit it.” He grins, pulling my face to the side so he can drag his mouth along my jaw.

My nails dig into his shoulders as he sinks his teeth into my neck. And when I gasp, my mouth falls open, but no sound escapes. The bite of his teeth on my flesh sends a flash of heat to my core.

It slices through the numbness. It’s a tidal wave crashing against a current. It’s everything I didn’t know I was waiting for from a man I thought I’d rather watch burn in hell than let touch me.

“Fuck me,” I say as Declan’s tongue drags up my neck. “Please fuck me.”

“Good girl.” Declan grabs my jaw and pulls my mouth to his.

Our lips crash together, and it’s flint striking stone as my chest ignites. He picks me up to carry me across the room, and I’m a spark floating in the wind, lighting up the brush in flames. I cling to him with every fiber of my body.

Did I forget what it’s like to be touched?

To be seen?

If there’s a thin line between love and hate, we’re walking it. Because we’re two people incapable of loving anything or anyone. So, instead, we use our animosity to fuel this fire. We hate each other with so much of ourselves that it’s the only thing hot enough to sear through the nothingness that’s existed up until this point.

Declan lays me down at the bottom of his bed, pulling back to break the kiss, and it has my fingers itching to rip at my skin. To tear us apart. To carve myself open so he can climb in.

I’m sick.

I hate him.

And the thought of him making love to me makes me want to lock myself up in Montgomery Psychiatric Ward until I kick these cravings.

But when he pulls my thighs apart and towers over me like the devil ready to lay siege, my body hums with excitement.

“Let me see you, pet.” He smirks.

That nickname pisses me off—and yet, my core flutters. I want to be that for him. Something he corrupts. Something he commands. Something he decimates.

I’m curious how much I can survive when nothing else has been worth living for.

Reaching down, I grab the bottom of my shirt and peel it off, tossing it to the side. Declan watches as I brush my fingers down my neck, over my tits, and his throat bobs when I skate my nails over my nipples.

“Pinch them.”

His commands make my core heavy, and something about him like this is impossible to resist. I don’t know whether I’m doing it for myself or him, but I pinch them so hard it hurts. And when it’s not enough, he reaches up to add pressure. My head tips back with a scream.

The pain.

The stinging ache.

Declan leans down to lick my mouth. “You need to cry louder than that if you want me to come for you, Teal.”

“You’re so fucking sick.” I shake my head when he finally releases my throbbing nipples.

“I am.” He drags his hands to my pants, unbuttoning them and peeling them off my legs with my underwear. “That’s why you’re here.”

He’s right. That is why I’m here.

To hurt.

To repent.

To feel.

Declan sparks fire inside me, and I can’t resist the desire to hold my hand over it.

The room is dim, and Declan towers like a demon out to claim his prey. His straight, dark hair is messy, like he didn’t bother to style it after he washed it. It’s tussled around while his clothes hug his perfectly cut body.

If the devil wears a mask to tempt and tease, then Declan is a beautifully sinful one.

He grips my thighs and tugs me down on the bed, his strong arms flexing with his strength. My knees bend so my feet fall to the floor, and I lie naked, stretched out before him, while he’s still fully dressed and in control.

“What are you doing?” I ask when he leans down to dig something out from the corner of his bedframe .

Declan pulls a leather strap out and smirks at me. “Making sure you don’t run.”

He grabs my hips and, in one swift move, flips me around so I’m bent over the bed in front of him. He wraps the leather strap around my thigh, tight enough that I can’t move my leg.

Glancing over my shoulder, I watch him pull a strap from the other side. He widens my legs so I can’t close my knees, tying that thigh up next.

“That’s better.”

He slides his hands up the inside of my thighs, skating over my slick core, before moving back down again.

“Fuck,” I mumble.

“What was that?” Declan chuckles, and it fuels my rage.

I’m already at his mercy, and I’m the one who let him do this, but it doesn’t mean I’ll submit easily.

“I hate you,” I say louder so he can hear me.

“You sure?” He shoves two fingers inside me, and it steals my breath. “Your tight little cunt doesn’t seem to agree with that statement.”

“Maybe it’s not you I’m thinking about,” I lie, refusing to back down. “Maybe I’ll just close my eyes and think about someone else.”

Declan pulls his fingers out and, in one swift move, smacks my ass hard with his palm.

“Bad girls get punished, Teal.” He spanks me again.

Burning builds behind my eyes. “Fuck you, Declan.”

“Don’t worry, pet. I’m getting to that.” He spanks me two more times, but this time on the insides of my thighs .

I try to close my legs when they start to sting, but I can’t with how my legs are strapped down.

Declan grabs my hair and pulls my head back, arching my back painfully and forcing me to look up at him when he lands another hard smack on my ass. He does it again, making me look into his eyes as he reaches between me and the bed to pinch my clit.

The sting is so intense that tears spring to my eyes. Evidence of the pain. But it doesn’t stop him. If anything, it spreads the most wicked grin on his face.

“You think you can escape into your pretty little mind when I’m fucking you?” He tugs my hair harder, and I hear him messing with his jeans. “You’re going to look me in the eyes. You’re going to know whose cock is inside you. And I hope you fucking hate it when I make you squeeze the cum out of me because that’s exactly what you’re going to do. Aren’t you, girlfriend ?”

It's more of a taunt than praise, and I hate him for it. But my body betrays me when I speak.

“Yes.”

“That’s what I thought.”

His cock nudges me, slicking against my entrance as I stare up into his cold, heartless eyes.

“Don’t you need a condom?”

“Why? We both know I already read your medical records, and you’re good.”

My teeth grit at the reminder. “And what about you? When’s the last time you fucked someone?”

I don’t actually want that answer. It hurts to even get the words out. But I need something to douse whatever he’s bringing to the surface inside me, and the reminder of how Declan is with women will do it.

Declan’s fingers hold my hair so tight it stings as it tugs my scalp. Tears leak from my eyes, painting rivers down my cheeks as I look up at him, upside down, hovering over me from behind. His hand moves his cock over me, and I’m dripping down my thighs with the anticipation.

He pulls my head to the side so he can lean down to my ear and whisper, “Fucked what exactly, pet? Someone’s cunt? Their ass?”

He drags his cock up to my ass and puts pressure there, forcing a squeak of fear to come out before he slides back down to my pussy.

“Guess you haven’t done your research on me after all.” He licks my ear. “I only fuck their throats.”

“Ever?”

“For a while now.”

“Why?” Tears drip onto the blanket, but I don’t know why I’m crying.

I don’t cry.

The same way I don’t truly laugh.

Everything is forced. Nothing is real.

Except this.

Declan releases my hair to wipe the tears from my cheek, and I watch him over my shoulder as he wets his cock with them.

“I have my reasons.” He reaches for my hair again, and in one brutal thrust, he buries his cock deep inside me.