Chapter 4

Four

C ora had gone to her bedchamber after the maid had unlocked the room they’d been trapped in. She thought to sleep a little, but her mind kept wandering to what she’d learned about the Earl of Thornton. She had tried to remain calm when he had awakened. Her heart had been beating heavily inside her chest. Everything had changed, and yet, nothing had. The night had been a revelation for her, but for him… It had not been as life altering. He didn’t remember any of it, so how was she supposed to move forward with what she knew? What would he do if he realized what he’d revealed to her? Would Lord Beast come to the forefront? She hoped not, but he clearly suffered as a child. Anything was possible when considering how much he’d endured.

Now that she had decided against sleep, she wanted to seek him out. Cora couldn’t even explain why she felt the need to be near him. She just knew she had to be there by his side. As if he needed her there to be all right. If anyone could ever truly be fully sound after what Lord Thornton had withstood. And it had been survival for him. He’d managed to thwart his father’s need to decimate the very core of him. He considered himself unworthy—of her, but she didn’t see him that way. What had happened to him had not been his fault. Cora didn’t even understand why his father had treated him so ill.

She wandered through the house until she came to the back entrance that led into the garden. Cora loved the garden at Ardmore. It was even more beautiful now than it had been a few months earlier. Summer was at an end and soon the leaves would turn colors. She moved through the garden path until she reached a fountain that lay in the center. There were a few stone benches around the fountain for those that wished to sit for a while. Cora chose to do so and stared at the fountain as if it would give her all the answers she sought. None came, but still she remained. It was peaceful and with the chaos in her mind she needed that.

Footsteps on the path to her right brought her out of her reverie. She blinked a few times as everything once more came into focus. Before her was the very reason she’d been in turmoil. Lord Thornton in all his gorgeous glory. His black hair gleamed almost blue in the sunlight and his green eyes were filled with the same unrest she’d been wrestling with. “Lady Cora,” he said, then bowed. “I did not mean to disrupt you.”

He turned to leave in the way he’d come, but she called out to him. “Wait,” she said. “Please don’t go.”

Slowly he turned to face her. Uncertainty filled his features. He wanted to stay, it seemed, but thought it unwise. She’d have to put him at ease or he’d flee. “Did you require me for something?” he asked. A muscle in his cheek clenched as he seemed to be fighting something deep inside of him. Cora wanted to stroll to his side and wrap her arms around him. To comfort him in a way no one ever had.

“Come sit with me,” she told him. She couldn’t act completely differently than she had before. He would expect animosity from her. Because that was what she’d always done in the past. Attacked first and then never asked questions. She had always accepted everything as fact: he had been mean, so she had been mean first. Cora realized what he’d been doing now that she had more information. His fears caused him to react to everything differently, and that included pushing away everyone.

“I’m not…” He cleared his throat. “Why?”

“I’d like to talk with you.” She smiled at him encouragingly. “We agreed to be friends. Did we not?”

“We did…” He still stared at her, as if he didn’t quite understand what was happening. “But…” He sighed. “I must admit I didn’t fully believe you. I still do not know if I can trust this,” he paused and them motioned between them. “Friendship.”

She considered that. In his place, she’d be uneasy as well. Why wouldn’t he be? They’d been more enemies than friends for years. Cora couldn’t even recall any moments where they had been cordial to each other. Their long-standing animosity was one of the reasons she’d decided to take her chance of revenge on him. Now though… That was out of the question. She could never harm him. He had been hurt far more than she could ever have done, but if she still sought vengeance, it might break him. “Have I ever lied to you?” she asked him.

He shook his head. “Not to my knowledge.”

Her lips twitched. “I haven’t,” she told him. “Why lie when I could be a nuisance in other ways?”

This time he smiled. “There is that.” He sighed. “Do you truly wish for us to be friends?” He arched a brow. “I thought you hated me.”

It was her turn to sigh. “I did.” What would he find acceptable as a reason for why she no longer did? Cora couldn’t be certain about what he would believe. So perhaps a little of the truth would help. “Before I came here for this wedding, I would have reiterated that vehemently.” She met his gaze. “You have never given me a reason to feel otherwise.”

“Then why have you decided we should be friends?” His unease was pouring off of him again. She had to say something that would help him relax.

“Because I came to a realization.” She stood. Since he wasn’t going to sit with her, they needed to be a little on equal ground. “That hatred has never served any real purpose for me. It’s actually hurt me in some ways.” Cora tilted her head to the side. “My father has always ignored me. When he favored you over me, that is what I truly resented. You didn’t have any control over what my father did or did not do. You were a child, the same as me.” And his father had abused him. At least her father had merely neglected to notice her. “I think it is time for me to let that go.” Then she moved closer to him and placed a hand on his arm. She grinned. “Don’t you? Can we be friends, Lord Beast?”

Hayes wanted to believe her. He desperately wanted a cordial relationship with Cora—more than friendship, if he were honest, but he knew he’d never have that. Just the fact that she wished to be friends was a step toward the right direction. Maybe, in time, she could see herself with him. Hoping for that outcome wouldn’t benefit him, though. It would only lead to more pain, and he should accept what she offered. It was a far better relationship than he’d had with her before.

Even so, he couldn’t help wondering. What had happened in that room? How had they both come to be locked in there? What had he done or not done? Did she learn something about him that had changed her mind about who she’d believed him to be? Then again, she still called him Lord Beast and had no pity in her gaze. If she’d discovered how his father had hurt him over the years… Surely, she’d see him as broken. He sure as hell did. He was broken. So broken he probably would never be whole again.

“I would like to be your friend,” he finally said. “I don’t like being at odds with you.” Hayes rubbed his chest. “It makes me feel uncomfortable. Like I’m wearing an ill-fitting set of clothes. Too tight, and I can’t breathe properly.”

Cora stared up at him and he sucked in a breath. Lord, she was beautiful. Her warm brown eyes had always made him feel as if he could face anything and make it out to the other side. Maybe not whole, but capable. As if she alone could keep the shredded pieces of him together. That was why he always sought her out. Even when they disagreed, she kept him sane. Cora gave him a reason to keep fighting, to continue breathing, and to believe he might have a future. Even when those very things often seemed like they might be the end of him."Change is never easy," she said softly, "but sometimes it's the only thing we can do. Because by changing, we realize there is a better way, and by choosing to accept that we can have something far greater.”

He nodded. “Yes,” he agreed. “Then we can be friends.”

“Absolutely.” Her smile widened. “The best of friends, I hope. Given time.” She gestured toward the bench she’d vacated. “Now will you sit with me for a while? I’d like to get to know my new friend.”

He glanced at the stone bench and considered her offer. If he wanted this to work, he’d have to meet her in the middle. They had to start somewhere to form this friendship into something solid. He had to take a leap of faith. “All right,” he conceded. “I’ll join you.” It wasn’t as if he had something better. There was nothing better than her.

Cora sat on the bench and then glanced at him. Waiting. Her patience with him was phenomenal. He was acting like a skittish colt, afraid to get too close to her. As if she’d slay him with a mere glance or a well-executed sentence. She certainly could. Cora, more than anyone, could break him. His father had certainly tried. But he hadn’t loved his father. He could have, if the man had been a decent father. But it had been clear that Hayes would never meet his expectations and he stopped trying. Cora, though, had always been kind to him. At least until he’d driven her to hate him.

Hayes sat on the bench but kept some distance between them. What now? What should he do or say? This was all new to him and he couldn’t discern the best possible action. “What would you like to discuss?” Perhaps the answer was to allow her to lead their conversation. He’d much rather answer questions than consider what to ask.

“We do not need to speak of anything in particular,” she said in a nonchalant tone. “But if you would be more at ease with a topic, we can certainly choose one.”

“I think,” he began. “It would.”

She laughed softly and it was like music to his ears. It was light and full of warmth. Somehow, she was far more beautiful like this. More than he could ever have imagined, and he’d imagined much. “Well, I suppose we must begin somewhere.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Let’s discuss interests. Do you have a favorite book or piece of music? Do you even like those things?”

He grinned. “I do like books. They have given me a lot of comfort over the years.” They had taken him to faraway places where a small boy could dream of a better life. “At least until I was able to travel on my own.”

“Have you traveled often?” she asked, then sighed. “I’ve always wanted to visit other countries. That must have been simply wonderful. Will you tell me about it?”

Hayes stared at her. Just amazed at how easy this was, to talk to her, as if they had never been at odds with each other. “I’d love to.” He’d love to do so much more than that. But for now, this would do. “What would you like to know?”

“Oh, everything,” she said. “Anything. Whatever you wish to tell me. I’m waiting on bated breath for your tales of grand adventures.”

“They were not nearly that grand.” Then he smiled. It almost seemed foreign to him. To have his lips tilt upward and almost feel….happy. Yes, that was what that was. Happiness. And he owed it all to her.

He settled in and just basked in the moment. Hayes didn’t know when he’d experience such joy again, and he wanted to savor it.. He started his tales and told her everything. Not that they were as grand as she believed, but he tried to make it all sound better than it had been. Because, with her, he believed anything was possible. Hayes would hold on to that for as long as he could. In his experience, nothing good ever lasted as long as it should, and for Cora to be this close to him now… Well, it would surely take a wrong turn at some point. So, he’d enjoy what he could, before he had to turn back into Lord Beast and pretend that he didn’t love her.