23. Gianna

The unpleasant smell of antiseptics and bleach infiltrates my nostrils. The first nerve on my finger twitches, and its numb.

Theres peace in the darkness of my own mind. Its tempting to stay like this, but my body is already awakening.

My mouth feels dry and bitter. I really want to brush my teeth right now. My right arm feels numb, as if someone or something is resting on it.

I finally force my eyes open. The white ceiling is the first thing I see. Is this heaven?

The room is too white and quiet, and the only sound I hear is something beeping and someone sniffling.

I look down at my arm and see familiar small and beautiful hands gripping my hand firmly but gently as if Im going to disappear.

I try to sit up, only to feel every part of my body scream out in pain. I slump back on the bed in defeat, too overwhelmed by the cords of the machines attached to my body. Everywhere fucking hurts.

The weight lessens on my arm, and Nala stands up to my view, eyes red with tears. “G? Gianna?” She looks so shocked. She embraces me, causing me to gasp for air and wince at the pain of her body on mine.

She withdraws and wipes her tears. “Im so sorry. I should have been more careful.”

I try to shake my head to assure her that Im fine, but the stinging pain at the back of my head stops me from doing so. “Its okay, Im okay.” My voice is weak and slow.

“God, I thought you were never going to wake up, and I would just lose you like that. I was so scared.” More tears fall from her eyes, but this time, she makes no move to wipe them away.

“Im sorry,” I mutter.

“Why the hell are you apologizing? Its not your fault. I swear if that bastard wasn’t already dead, I would have skinned him alive.”

I cant believe my ears. “Hes dead?”

“Yes, the cops wanted him alive, but he tried to shoot his way out so…”

I dont know what to feel. The memories of Perez hurting me keep flashing through my mind like a nightmare. But I never wished him death.

“Where’s Chris?”

She looks away from me and stares at the door. “He’s outside waiting for his turn. They only allow one visitor at a time.”

“Oh,” I reply. My heart is relieved that hes here. That hes alive and unscathed. I have to see him. The first thing I prayed for was the chance to survive so I could confess my feelings. I cant waste any more time. I have realized that time is precious and theres no right time.

“Let me bring him in for you,” Nala says with a knowing smile on her face.

I turn my face to the other side when she leaves. The door creaks open again and my heart stutters.

Its him. I can feel it.

I feel him step closer, and I lose it. I slowly turn my head, despite the pain, to look at the love of my life.

“Chris?”

He looks so worn out. His eyes are red and puffy from tears. His white shirt is still stained with what I assume is my blood.

“Chris,” I call again, and he snaps out of his daze. I keep whispering his name like a broken record.

He embraces me, his tears falling on my cheeks. “Im so, so, sorry. Im sorry.” He pleads profusely.

“Why are you sorry?”

He pulls back a little to stare at me. My fingers instinctively reach up to tread along his face. As if trying to memorize every part of it. I run my fingers into his hair and tug onto them softly.

“All this wouldnt have happened if I had protected you.” He sounds so broken and regretful. Despite the pain in my hand, I cup his face.

“Stop blaming yourself. It wasnt your fault. Im alright now. Thats all that matters,” I promise him.

He nods, takes my hand, and kisses it, slowly and reverently. I almost lose my breath at the too much care reflecting in his eyes.

“How are you feeling?”

“I feel awful. My whole body hurts.”

He draws away from me. “Fuck, I shouldnt touch you so much.” He sighs, tears rolling down his cheeks. I have never seen him so vulnerable, and it hurts to know that Im the cause of it.

“I’m sorry, Gianna, Im so sorry Im late.”

“Please dont cry anymore. Im fine,” I insist.

I start to tear up, too, as the aftermath of what happened catches up with me.

“Why are you crying?” he asks as he wipes my cheeks with his finger.

“Because you are,” I reply simply, and we start laughing at each others silliness. But the laughter makes my throat and stomach hurt, and I start coughing while laughing.

“Stop laughing,” he pleads, but I cant stop. I dont even know if Im laughing or crying. Its overwhelming.

He presses his lips against mine both sweetly and painfully. It takes me by surprise at first, but I start to respond to the kiss, which helps calm my erratic breathing. Letting him take everything from me once again. My pain, my longing, and my love. Making me feel alive.

He stops the kiss before I become breathless.

He brushes my hair away from my face, gazing into my eyes so endearingly it catches me off guard because he has always looked at me like this. But I never paid attention to its meaning until now.

I feel my heart combust in my rib cage just like it had many years ago.

He gently places his forehead on mine, breathing in each others breaths.

“I love you. I love you so much that I dont know what I would have done if I had lost you. I love you,” he whispers.

I take a deep breath, and its the first time in years that I have felt the urge to just let go of what’s been etched deep in the crevices of my jaded heart. Its time to let go.

“I love you too,” I say, feeling relieved at finally telling him how I feel.

He draws back, staring down at me as if he cant believe his ears.

“Ive always loved you,” I continue. “Silly of me to think I had stopped. I love you.”

Surprisingly, he collapses to his knees, and I feel tears threaten to fall from my eyes again at the sight of Almighty Chris White kneeling in front of me.

“Im sorry, Im so sorry Im late.”

“Better late than never,” I reply gently as he leans in, encompassing me with his warmth.

I never believed in happily ever after; maybe I did when I was a kid, but as an adult, reality came knocking on my door.

But this moment in his arms is my happily ever after.