22. Chris

The pungent smell of blood engulfs my senses. I scream and cry to myself because my own shaking hands have too much of her blood on them. It’s not the first time Ive seen a bleeding persons body, but this is Gianna’s body. I turn her over, wanting to stop the bleeding at the back of her head.

“C-Chris.” Her voice sounds so weak, and it breaks my heart. Her eyes close, and her body feels cold in my hands. The fear that surges through my veins burns more than any other flame.

Everything is red in my eyes. I clutch her tighter to myself in a desperate embrace.

“No, please. Don’t leave me,” I whisper.

Why was it always Gianna who gets hurt? Why couldnt it be me? She doesnt deserve this. She doesnt deserve to lie limp in my arms on the brink of death. The person I never wanted to hurt. If karma wants to come after me for everything I’ve done, then it should come at me, never her.

“Boss, Perez has been shot dead.” I’m numb at the news, unable to feel any emotions but pain. “Shit,” Clark exclaims as he crouches down next to me. “I didnt know. I tried. I’m so sorry…”

“Shut it. She’s not—” I can’t bring myself even to say the word. I can feel her finger move slightly. It’s faint, subtle, and almost lifeless. But feel it.

Everything that happens after that is a blur. I keep holding onto her hand, never leaving her side as the ambulance drives us to the hospital. My hands were cleaned in the ambulance, and I supplied all her details to the paramedics.

“Sir, please let go of her! We need to get her in as soon as possible!” The nurses plead while Clark holds me back.

“Boss, you have to let them save her,” he pleads. I finally let them take her away toward the operating room.

I kneel on the floor, feeling like Im underwater. I pray to whatever God exists to save Gianna. I will do anything just to have her back in my life again, just to see, to hear her lovely voice.

Three hours later, I’m still curled up on the floor, my back resting against the wall. Three hours since Gianna entered emergency surgery. My clothes are now dried up with blood.

Nala is seated in the chair beside me. Clark called her immediately after Gianna was taken to the emergency unit. She had caused a scene demanding to see her best friend. I hugged her tight and let her cry on my shoulder. And even though she outwardly appears to be calm now, I know she’s just as terrified as I am.

“It’s been two fucking hours since we have had an update. Why has no one come out yet to say anything?” Nala complains.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a man in light blue scrubs with a surgical cap on his head walk into the waiting room.

“Gianna Hermosa’s family?”

My heart beats wildly in my chest, and I immediately stand up, my legs a little wobbly.

“Yes,” I answer, Nala now standing as well.

As the doctor approaches us, I feel like I’m on the verge of having a heart attack with each step he takes. The doctor smiles as he steps in front of us. Hope settles in my heart.

It has to be good news. Gianna is okay.

“I’m here to inform you that her surgery was successful,” he finally says.

Relief pours over me like the calm ocean waves, and it threatens to overflow from my eyes. I’m speechless. It’s one thing to hope, and it’s another thing for the hope to come true.

I clench my fingers tightly and gnaw down on my bottom lip to stop my heart from exploding with joy.

“Can we go see her now?” Nala asks.

“Yes, you can but only one person at a time so the nurses can monitor her. Shes still unconscious.” The doctor leaves and Nala claps her hands in excitement.

“Shes alright. Shes alive.” She embraces me and holds my hand, pulling me towards Giannas room. I yank my hand back, earning a raised eyebrow from her. “You dont want to see her?”

“I just feel like nothing good ever happens whenever Im around her,” I say, tears threatening to fall. “Im just a curse to her, a thorn in her side. I dont want to hurt her anymore.”

“Are you telling me youre not going to see her again?”

“I dont deserve to see her,” I say, resigned. “If you were me, wouldnt you feel guilty? How can I face her after all Ive ever given her is pain and suffering?”

She huffs. “Fine, but just know you are not only going to hurt yourself but her as well. Is that worth it?” With that being said, she walks away.

It seems like hours before Nala rushes out, smiling with tears in her eyes.

I rush to her in panic. “Whats wrong? Is she okay?”

She nods and wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. “Shes awake now and wants to see you.”

Her words sound like music in my ears. Tears fall from my eyes unbossed.

“Will you still avoid her?” she asks.

I shake my head, “No, I can do it.” I force my legs to move forward. My nerves are all over the place, and I can’t help but smile through tears. Because the love of my life made it.

My fingers are shaking, and my knees are trembling as I place my hand on the doorknob. I perform a breathing exercise to calm my racing heart.

It’s now or never, and I know I have to do it. I step in and slowly close the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. Then I turn and I see her.

My heart hurts at the sight of her. My eyes trace her beautiful features. She looks so thin, pale, and small under the bed sheets.

The person who is supposed to be lying on that bed is me, not her. I dont think I will ever be able to forgive myself.

Her face is turned to the other side, and I cant see if her eyes are open from where Im standing. Out of instinct, I take a few steps closer.

She slowly turns her head. Green eyes stare back at me, making my heart flip.

“Chris?” She’s smiling.