19. Gianna

Its been a month since I entered into the no-strings-attached relationship that I proposed to Chris, and it has already crashed and burned. Its been a month since I made the mistake of thinking I could get away from it with my heart intact.

My eyes burn, and I wipe them with the back of my hand. I cant seem to stop the tears.

I ended it all not because of what he did to Perez. I ended it because I was starting to become delusional. I was delusional because he was nice and everything I wanted in a man, yet he could never be mine.

My doorbell rings, and I rush to the door without thinking twice. I open it, but my heart sinks when I see a delivery man standing at my doorstep.

“Good evening, maam. I have a delivery for you from Miss White.”

“Nala?” I accepted the package, feeling surprised. Shes still not talking to me, so why this? Is this her olive branch?

“Please sign here.” I immediately sign, and he leaves.

I walk back in and close the door. I take the note attached to the package and read it.

“Hey, bestie, Im so sorry I left you when you needed me the most. Forgive me, please.”

I snort. As if I could ever be angry with her.

I opened the package only to see a note attached to a wrapped present. I read the note.

“Please wear these and meet up with me at the beach. I will be waiting for you. Pretty please.”

I shake my head at her wittiness and creativity. Maybe a girls night out is what I need.

I opened the wrapped present and saw a long yellow maxi dress. I pull it out to admire it, only to find a not-so-decent red swimsuit.

What the hell does she have in mind?

My cell phone buzzes beside me, where Im curled up on the sofa. Its a text from her.

“If you want our friendship to go back to the way it is, you must wear that dress and take along that swimsuit. See you later.” She adds an emoji blowing kisses.

I waste no time in having a quick shower and getting ready for our night at the beach.

As soon as my ride stops at the beach, I step out in excitement.

Theres no sign of Nala anywhere. I should probably call her, but the ocean calls to me. I take off my wedges before stepping into the sand.

I run to it, the rush of blood in my veins and the pounding of my heart. I step into the water. I relish in the coldness of the water on my feet.

It’s calming, somewhat, to watch the waves crash and recede, to listen to the sound. Its like music to my ears.

I watch as the water rushes away from me, wishing it would take all my hurt with it. The beach has always been a place I love. I always feel alive anytime I come to the beach. Maybe thats why she chose it.

That reminds me. Wheres Nala?

I feel a presence behind me. Like someone is watching me. I turn back only to gasp in shock.

Standing a few feet away from me is Chris, watching me with a smile on his face. Im not even sure he is real—half sure this is a dream.

He looks ethereal in his white and black striped shirt, matched with white shorts and casual sandals. The first three buttons of his shirt are open, revealing his broad chest. My mouth waters at the sight.

My eyes snapped up at his face, and he had a knowing look on his face.

“What are you doing here? Wheres Nala?” I look around, hoping to see her. Shes nowhere in sight.

“Actually,” he says, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, “Nala isnt supposed to be here.”

“What?” I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. If anyone is not supposed to be here, its him. I came here to have a moment of peace, but hes here to confuse me again.

“I recruited her to do all that to get you here.”

It all comes as a shock to me. “Why?”

He steps closer, making me back up. My heart cant handle the proximity.

“Woah, be careful,” he warns, gesturing towards the waves.

“You havent answered my question. Why go through all the trouble of getting me here? If you wanted to talk to me, you could have just come to my apartment.”

“Your apartment wont be the right place for me to make a confession.”

He just keeps confusing me.

“I have something to show you.” He waves me forward. “Come with me.”

What the hell is going on? I cant believe Nala set me up for this.

“Please,” he pleads, his eyes sincere and his voice desperate. I cant help but follow him.

I can hardly take my eyes off the man as he leads me to the cozy, tropical beach bar located among palm trees and orange glowing fairy lights. I have been here before, but it has never had this many bright lights and decorations. It was usually filled with people, but right now, we are the only ones here, apart from the waiters.

“Why is this place so quiet?” I whisper, and he turns to look at me. He smirked, and I had a hard time tearing my gaze away from his face. I wonder how he does it. How does he make himself look so effortlessly handsome.

“I booked the entire bar for this evening.” He pulls out a seat for me and I sit, too surprised to even ask questions or protest.

As he orders for us, I sit back and watch him. I cant help but wonder why he brought me here. Its overwhelming.

“Do you want anything else?” He asks.

Im once again struck with the realization that I have no idea what exactly Chris wants. “Why are you doing this?”

He swallows, fingertips drumming against the tabletop. “To spend time with you.”

My heart does a backflip in my chest. Once again, Im going to get ahead of myself and read too much into things. Im going to hurt myself, and I’ll be the only one to blame.

His one-sentence replies only confuse the hell out of me.

His eyes search my face as if trying to find something. “Gianna…”

Our order arrives, and he keeps quiet. Two huge cups filled with kiwi, strawberries, and mango with ice cubes swimming on the top. The liquid inside a colorful rainbow of blue, green and red.

There are some blueberry bars and Italian sandwiches on two different plates. They are my go-to beach snack, but Im not even moved to eat them.

He places one blueberry crumb bar on my plate with a smile that makes my heart sing. “Please eat so you will have strength for later.”

I cut into the bar and managed to eat a few bites before I gave up. “You are acting like we are okay. Like nothing happened,” I finally say.

He stops eating and wipes his mouth with the napkin. He looks so nervous. “We were just starting to be friends when everything happened. Im trying to go back to that. I want us to try and…keep going from here, maybe more than before. Only if you want that?” His eyes are filled with hope.

It’s like an electric shock goes through me.

He wants more. My ear must be doing some tricks on me.

“Shit,” he cusses and recklessly drops the napkin on the table. “I suck at this. I really suck at this.”

Hes looking anywhere but at me now. It feels like an eternity before he finally speaks.

“When I saw you for the first time in front of my house, I was strangely happy. I didnt know why. After all, we never had a friendship. I guess it felt good having someone I know in the neighborhood.”

He turns to look at me as if making sure Im listening. “Then I saw you at the bar, and its like the scales in my eyes fell because you are too beautiful to be true. I was attracted to you more than any other woman. I still am.”

A ripple of electricity shoots through my belly. I gulp at the gravity of his words.

“At first I thought I was drawn to you because I felt guilty about how I treated you in the past, but no. I wanted you. Only you. I thought having you for one night would be enough, but I was wrong.”

He takes a sip of his drink, and I notice that the tips of his ears were tinged red.

“Then one night turns into more, and it doesnt feel like sex anymore. It began to feel more like we were making love.”

I want to touch him, reach out and grab him, and shout at him that I felt the same. But I restrain myself.

“No one makes me feel like I do when I’m with you.” He places his hand on mine and smiles in relief when I let him.

“Then you ended it and it felt like you trampled my heart,” he continues as he squeezes his fingers over mine. “I couldnt stop thinking about you. I missed you so much.”

Our eyes meet, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t look away even if it feels like too much.

“I’m sorry if it took me so long to realize that Im in love with you,” he confesses.

It feels like my heart no longer remembers how to work, and my lungs cannot take in oxygen. My eyes widen, and my lips part. I snatch my hand from his, after feeling it burn under his touch.

There’s no way. No way.

“Im in love with you, Gianna Hermosa,” he says again.

My heart stutters at his words.

“I know its all too much, but I cant waste more time letting you believe that I never felt anything for you.” He fidgets with his Rolex watch. “I would like to ask you for a chance.” He fires out almost too fast. “To date you.” He explains simply.

I blink at him in shock. Its all happening too fast.

“Are you kidding me?” Maybe I will soon wake up and find that its just a dream. But I dont want to open my eyes if its just a dream.

He shakes his head, “Ive never been more serious in my life.” He stares at my hand on the table and sighs. “But if you dont want that, its okay. I will be fine just being your friend.” He looks at me expectantly.

What am I supposed to say when the man I always believed to be incapable of love is in love with me?

He loves me.

It’s all so much, and I don’t know how to make sense of it right now. Im tongue-tied and shaken.

This is not how I pictured my night. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this. It feels too good to be true. The weight in my heart is gone, and I feel relieved.

“You dont have to give me an answer now,” he adds when I still don’t say anything.

He stands and stretches out his hand for me to take. I give him a questioning look only to get a shrug in return.

“We need some fresh air.”

I stand and place my hand on his. He starts walking towards the beach and I try to match his step. The wind blows our hair all over the place but were both smiling brightly. He looks so happy, smiling just as wide, cheeks a dusty pink.

I love him. Ive always loved him. And I will always love him.

It would be so easy to give in, so easy to say yes. So easy to let myself fall and have this.

I want to throw myself in his arms and kiss him senseless. I want to try for real. And yet… Im still afraid. I can’t go through the heartache again.

“Gianna,” he says my name like a prayer, an entreaty.

My heart flips in my chest as I stare at his face, mapping his earnest expression.

“I love you,” he screams into the night. His voice echoes all over the beach.

As much as I would like to say it back, Im too embarrassed to. He pulls me into his arms, wraps me in a tight embrace, and rests his cheek on the crown of my head.

“I love you,” he whispers this time, and it quells the shaking in my chest.