Chapter 7

Lena

M eeting Kellan in the graveyard was unexpected. Something about him seems so familiar, but I can't place it. Up until today, he was a stranger that I've never seen, yet for some reason, I feel safe around him. Maybe I shouldn't have let things progress as far as I did tonight. Something about him called out to the very core of my soul.

I was lying there on the blanket, tossing my stress ball, thinking about how easy it would be to die. My mom would make some big show over how hard everything is for her and how she just doesn't understand where she went wrong with raising me. My father would whine about the cost of everything. Since Dani and I cut things off, I don't have any real friends. Lexi is there sometimes, but she's always been a friend of convenience. We talk about boys and school, that's about it. It's all surface-level.

As soon as my gaze locked with Kellan's green eyes, every thought I had of worthlessness and despair disappeared. Time seemed to freeze around me. In his presence, death was no longer something I yearned for. My mind was quiet, and the urges dissipated.

He brought me a peace I' ve always longed for. It's uncanny, really. This one person has the ability to make me feel the way I've always wanted throughout my life. Is this what being normal feels like? We talked for hours about so many things, and he just listened. Nobody has been willing to listen for such a long time.

I hold my arm out, looking down at the unhealed cuts along my wrists, and remember the way his skin felt against mine. It was like a surge of electricity pumping through my veins. I've never felt so free and alive.

Then, there was the gentle way in which he asked about the scars. He genuinely wanted to know. He wasn't looking to make fun of me or judge me. He told me he would never laugh at me. Something in me believes in that more than anything I've ever believed in before. I stayed at the cemetery with him until the sun set, and we reluctantly parted ways.

As soon as he left my line of sight, all of the feelings of worthlessness and despair came rushing back in, crashing upon me. It was almost some sort of validation that he was the one keeping the feelings at bay. I found myself standing there for a while after he left, wishing he would come back and take it all away again.

Reluctantly, I loaded myself into my car and came back to my apartment. When I walked inside, I found out Carson had already left for the evening, thankfully. Since breaking things off, we have been doing a pretty successful job of avoiding one another. I have no desire to see him and have nothing but pure distaste for him .

I don't understand why he insists on living here. It's been a week since we broke up, and he's made no effort to leave. He has plenty of friends and teammates on campus that he could move in with until the end of the school year. I'm convinced his main goal in life is to torture me as much as possible. Fucker.

With a sigh, I crash into my new bed. I moved all of my things to the second bedroom as soon as I could. I had absolutely no desire to stay in the room we shared.

I lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling, wondering how the fuck I'm supposed to get through the rest of this school year with him living here. If I had any kind of self-respect, I would suck it up and ask my parents for help. My dad makes more than enough money- to afford putting me up in a new apartment.

It's just more complicated than simply asking for something with them. Asking my parents means having a conversation about Carson and me breaking up. The guy that my mother freaking set me up with. She probably paid him to date me so she didn't have to live with the shame of her weird daughter still being single.

I won't talk to them. My mother will get her text every few days, and that's it. The fact that she found a way to involve herself in my romantic life pisses me off. Anger is a better emotion than despair and the longing to die. I've been feeling a lot of anger lately. I suppose I'm making progress, right? My mother would be so proud.

I let myself drift off to sleep with thoughts of my parents, their meddling, and how I'm supposed to move forward with the rest of this school year. All problems that I will, no doubt, push off and avoid.

Darkness surrounds me, and I feel as though I'm drowning. There is no peace here. There is no happiness. It's as if everything I've been feeling while awake has manifested itself into my worst nightmare.

Screams tear through my mind as I walk down a dark hallway. There is a pale light toward the very end that I covet. It seems peaceful there. I want to get out of this darkness more than I've ever wanted anything, but it's no use. No matter how far or fast I walk, the light never gets closer. It always stays just out of reach.

The walls start to close in around me, and panic swells in my chest. I crave safety so I run faster, trying to escape the inevitable fate of the walls squeezing in around me.

Just as I feel like there is no hope, a figure appears in my path. I can't see who they are through the darkness, but there is no turning back. I have to keep moving forward. I run toward them and catch a glint of their bright, shining eyes staring back at me.

The aura around the figure is dark but it calls to me. As I move ahead, I notice the light is finally getting closer. It's almost like the dark figure is bringing me to the light. As the figure comes into focus, it's not really in focus at all. It is a moving cloud of smoke with tendrils splaying out from it.

One of the tendrils inches toward me. I should be afraid, but it seems so inviting. I finally step forward into the light as a hand emerges from the shadow and grips my throat. Instead of reaching out to try to get it off of me, I run my fingers along the shadowy hand in a caressing manner.

I'm pushed up against a white wall that seems to have appeared out of nowhere, and the figure takes shape in front of me. The cloudy smoke dissipates in some places, and an outline of a man in a cloak takes its place. The man has no concrete features outside of the deep green eyes that stare into mine. Eyes that look so familiar. It's all white around us now.

I look up as my chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. Fingers tighten around my throat, and I feel something sliding up the length of my leg. I try to glance down, but I'm unable to move my head with the hand gripping it.

"I bet you're already so wet and needy," a voice emits from the figure. It's sultry and sexy. Hypnotizing in its own sort of way. The voice is right. I'm already turned on. I long for it to use me and call me a dirty slut in the process.

"Please," I whine as the grip on my neck loosens.

I look down to see the shadow sliding closer to my center. I'm completely naked somehow. Why am I so turned on by this? I should be freaking out, but I'm not fighting back at all. Just as I find myself starting to wonder what the hell I'm thinking, a light pressure slides across my center.

My head falls back against the wall, and all of the cells in my body come to life. A soft moan slips from my lips, and I find myself tilting my hips forward, silently craving more. The half-human, half-smoke figure steps into me, and I feel my feet being kicked apart.

"What are you?" I whisper as I look up, trying to make out some of the features of its face. The smoke makes it difficult to make out anything tangible.

"Do you want to talk, or do you want me to fuck you?" the figure says.

Without answering, I bring my hand up and place it on a firm chest. The smoke around it dissolves enough to reveal strong muscles before me. I slide my hand down further to wrap it around a hard cock, just briefly, before something wraps around my wrist and pulls my hand free from his shaft.

Both of my wrists are pulled above my head, and I'm lifted off the ground, away from the wall. I try to kick my feet, but my ankles are pulled apart. I glance down to see shadowy tendrils holding my suspended form in place. I am completely at his whim, and the anticipation races through me. My heart beats rapidly as I wait for the shadow man's next move.

"Be a good girl for me, and let me fuck you."

A finger swipes along my wet pussy, and any objective thoughts free my mind. I moan loudly as his finger slips inside me. He begins pumping it in and out slowly. I thrust my hips forward, aiding him in the process, needing more.

"I knew you would be a soaking wet slut for me." He growls.

"More," I whine.

"Look at you, so needy for the darkness. Are you not afraid of me?" he asks as he adds a second finger.

I should be afraid, but I'm not. I fucking crave every single second of it, wishing he would push my limits further.

"I' m not afraid," I breathe out.

A chuckle rumbles from his chest. "You should be."

His fingers move faster, rubbing my walls and building up the desire within. I gasp when I feel something else pushing its way inside my pussy alongside his fingers. It's almost like he read my mind.

"Are you afraid now, pet?"

I look down to see one of his shadowy tendrils between my legs. He finger fucks me faster in tandem with the shadow. His thumb finds my clit, and everything inside me starts to build. I feel so much pleasure coming from so many places.

His shadow face leans in to bite down on my neck. I would run my fingers along his back if I could move my wrists. If this was real, instead of a dream, I would have marks up the length of my neck tomorrow.

"Give it to me, pet. Give me all of your pleasure, like the dirty slut you love being."

His words fuel something inside me, and the desire begins to spread. His fingers move faster, and the shadow curves inside me, hitting the perfect spot. I see stars.

My body erupts, sending heat coursing to my core. My eyes roll back as electricity shoots down my arms and legs to my fingers and toes. My pussy spasms, and I clamp down on both his shadow and fingers, letting my orgasm consume me. He groans and continues his pace until my body finally begins to come down .

I look into his eyes, and I swear I've seen them before. I don't have a chance to question it further, though, because my attention is drawn to something else.

He pulls everything out of me, leaving me empty for a brief moment, and spins me around. My wrists are pulled forward, and I'm bent in half, still being held up in the air. Another tendril now wraps around my waist for further support. Before I have a moment to complain, his hard cock is sliding into me inch by inch. He's so much bigger than anyone I've ever been with, and I love the way my pussy stretches around him.

"Fuck," I cry out as he seats himself fully inside me.

"Your pussy is so fucking tight, pet."

A hand slams down on one of my ass cheeks, and I scream. It's so dirty, but I love every second of it. He slaps the other cheek before leaning down to whisper in my ear. "Mine."

He starts moving inside me, and I've never felt anything more heavenly. One of his hands reaches around to roll my nipple between his fingers as he slams into me from behind.

"Yes!" I moan.

His free hand slaps down on my ass again, giving me the perfect mixture of pain and pleasure. It has my pussy pulsing for him. It's almost as though he knows exactly how I want him to use my body.

He spits on my ass, and I feel a tendril swirl the wetness around my back hole. Before I have a chance to object, it slips into me slowly. The shadow slowly makes itself larger, stretching me out while he continues to pump in and out of both of my holes.

His hand slaps my ass again. "That's it. Take it all like a desperate slut."

"Please," I whimper. I don't even know what I'm asking for at this point.

"You like being fucked in all your holes, don't you?" he asks, as the shadow moves in and out of my ass in sync with his cock.

"I love it!" I admit.

"Such a good fucking girl for me. As soon as this pussy coats my cock with your come, it'll always belong to me. Would you like that, Lena? Do you want to belong to me?"

"I don't even know who you are," I admit.

"That's not what I asked." He slams into me harder. His fingers pinch my nipple again, and I feel another orgasm creeping up on me. There are just so many things happening all at once. It's hard to keep my body in check.

"It's too much," I pant.

"Come on my cock, pet. Let me watch you become mine."

I can't even protest because my body barrels toward the edge at a pace I'm not able to keep up with. My heart slams as the pleasure threatens to work its way through me. He slides in and out of me, one, two, three, more times before I lose it all.

Tingles overtake my body as I find my blissful high. It feels so much fucking better than anything I've ever felt before. I clamp down hard around his cock as my entire world shatters and satisfaction fills me.

"That's a good fucking girl," he says before I feel something shooting inside me. He groans as he leans into his pleasure, and we both ride out the high together.

"You're perfect for me" is the last thing I hear before I wake up panting as I frantically look around the room to find myself alone. A shred of disappointment fills me when I realize the whole delicious string of events was nothing more than a figment of my apparently very active dreams.

It all felt so real. The soaking wet mess between my legs makes me feel like it was real. I must have actually come in my sleep. The worst part about it is that I fucking loved every minute of it.

I shake my head and throw off the covers to clean myself up in the bathroom. I need to get these thoughts under control. I don't know what's going on with me lately. Hallucinating the shadow figure in the corner, and now fucking it in my dreams.