19. Wade

nineteen

wade

Someone pinch me because I've gone to heaven, in a lovely wicker basket, and without a care in the world. I lay there, with my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling, with undoubtedly the biggest shit eating grin I can muster, while Lemon . . . yes, my Lemon . . . rests her head on my bare chest.

We've slept, maybe a couple of hours, spending most of the night and a.m. hours in each other's arms, rekindling and rebuilding, and making up for years of lost time. In hindsight, I should've pushed for this years ago, but I'm not sure she was ready. Hell, I don't think she was ready until life forced us together. Life being Goldie moving here. Funny how my daughter was the catalyst for us not getting back together and reuniting. I'm going to have to take her on a shopping spree or vacation to Disney or something. She deserves all the credit for this.

I pull my hand out from behind my head and drag my fingers up and down Lemon's arm. She snuggles deeper into me.

Last night, I told her I loved her before I made love to her. The words came tumbling out before I could stop them. I don't wish I hadn't said it but do wish I waited a bit. The thing is, I've never stopped loving her. There hasn't been a day in my life when I've woken up feeling like I wasn't in love with her. I believe wholeheartedly she's my soulmate.

The other night in my truck—I don't want to call that a hook-up but that's what it felt like, almost like she had an itch, and I was the scratching post—was different. That was us, giving into the temptation. This is different. It's like I can feel we're on the path to forever.

Being with her is like being home. My memories of our time together didn't fail me. I remember everything perfectly. Which spots drive her crazy, what positions she likes, and how she likes to take control. Thinking about her, pushing me onto her bed after we had a late-night snack, brings a smile to my face.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

I hadn't realized I laughed a little.

"Nothing," I tell her. "Just thinking about us. Last night, throughout the night, this morning. All of it."

"Are you happy?"

Her question catches me off guard, and I don't like it. I readjust so we're both on our sides and brush her hair away from her face.

"Lemon, the day you stomped through the school yard to ask me what the hell I'm doing on the grounds made me happy because you were talking to me. I knew, deep down, if I could get you to just talk to me then we'd find ways to be in each other's paths again."

"I've done everything I could to avoid you."

"I know and I've given you the space. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you or put you in an uncomfortable situation."

She smiles kindly.

"Can I ask you something?"

Lemon nods.

"Why did you come back to Magnolia Grove when you could've gone anywhere with your degree?"

Her shoulder starts to lift and then drops immediately. "I've often asked myself the same thing and depending on my mood, the answer changes. At the beginning of the last couple of school years, I questioned my decision each time the school board awarded you the landscaping contract. Jean would remind me they weren't going to give it to anyone else, regardless, so why did I put myself through the drama of caring.

"Then I wouldn't see you for months, not even a glimpse and I'd find myself driving by places where I'd know you be like River's End or the hardware store because I freak out when I thought you had moved, even though that was always in the back of my mind.

"But then, come summer, I would leave because I couldn't see you with your daughter . . ." she pauses and inhales. "With Goldie. Seeing her here reminded me of what I lost and at times that pain was crippling. So, I'd travel and come back in time to get things ready for the upcoming school year.

"To get back to your question though, I think I came back because this is where I was the happiest. Call me na?ve but my time with you was the happiest I've ever been. I know we were young, but I feel like we were perfect together and part of me needed to have those memories in order to feel alive again."

This wasn't the answer I was expecting, but one I can fully appreciate. I lean forward and kiss her softly. "Thank you for telling me all of this."

Lemon nods and smiles again. "Ever since the other night I feel like a weight has been lifted off me and it opened my heart up to love again."

"As long as it's me you're loving," I tell her.

"It is, which just seems crazy to me."

"Should I question all of this?"

She shakes her head and bites her lower lip before moving closer to me. "Not at all, Wade. I'm right where I want to be. Where I should've been this entire time had I not listened to people I called friends."

"And Marigold? Does she fit in as well?"

Lemon nods. "She does. She's innocent in all of this, and I should've seen it from the beginning. I was just so hurt. I didn't know how to cope or manage my feelings."

"I hope you believe me when I tell you I didn't mean for any of that to happen."

She nods again. "I do. My heart does."

With that I press my lips to hers, roll her onto her back and make love to her again before I have to face reality.

When I get home, there's a note from my mom that she's taken Goldie to her house. I shower, get dressed, make a grocery list, and start another load of laundry before heading to my parents. On my way, I stop and buy my mom some flowers from Twisted Tulip as a thank you for staying overnight at my house. Had I known I was going to end up spending the night, I would've taken Goldie to my parents and made things easier for everyone.

There's an unfamiliar car in front of the house and I figure it's one of my parents' college classmates who often stop by when they're in the area. The time someone came over, they ended up loving the area and bought a house down the street from my folks. There's something about a small town which everyone loves. But they have their drawbacks too.

"Hello," I say as I enter the house. "I stopped by Willy's Crab Shack and brought some lunch." I head to the kitchen and set the bags of food on the counter, along with the bouquet of wildflowers I picked up for my mom. No one answers or comes running to tell me how much they missed me, so I head out back and stop dead in my tracks when I see Ana and Goldie on her swing set, laughing and carrying on.

My heart stops. It seizes in my chest. My eyes blur with unshed tears. One thing is clear though and that's Lemon. I see her, happy and smiling, and then her eyes dimming as she realizes Ana's here. And while I know I told Ana to move here because this is what's best for Goldie, it's not what I want. Not now.

It's right then I know my time with Lemon is over. She's not going to look past this because the indiscretion will be even more in her face. Ana is far from an absent mother and will be front and center for everything Goldie does.

"Daddy! Mommy is here!"

I choke back a sob when my daughter joyfully screams my name. She's worth everything.

Goldie jumps off the swing, while still in the air, and doesn't miss a beat on her landing. She runs toward me, arms outstretched like she hasn't seen me in weeks, not hours. I catch her effortlessly and kiss her cheek without taking my eyes off her mother. Ana frowns. She knows something's wrong. I bury my face in my daughter's neck and hang onto her tightly.

After a moment, I set her down and do my damnedest to mask the heartbreak I feel right now. I clear my throat and work to keep my emotions in check. "Did you have fun with Grandma?"

Goldie thinks by scrunching her face and then shakes her head. "I was sleeping."

Right. She didn't know I didn't come home until she woke up.

"And then we had pancakes and then we came here, and Mommy came over."

"Sounds like a great morning."

"Where did you go?"

"Hey," Ana says, saving me from having to tell my daughter what an adult sleepover is.

"Hey. Did you tell me you were coming today?"

Ana shakes her head and runs her hand over Goldie's hair. "No, but I couldn't take my parents anymore."

"You look better," I tell her. "Are you good?"

She nods.

"Is that your car out front?"

"Yeah, a rental until I can either get my car from the house or buy something new."

"I'll get your car," I tell her. "Jed and I will go."

"I need things from there," she says. "Goldie has a lot of stuff there."

I look down and smile at our daughter. "Why don't you go play so Mommy and I can talk." I wait for Goldie to be out of earshot before I continue. "I'll take some guys with me. You can come, point out what you need, want, and we'll pack it. You're not going alone."

Ana nods. "Thanks." She puts her hands in her pockets. "You don't look happy to see me."

I sigh heavily and adjust my ball cap. "Let's go sit." I point to the picnic bench and follow her over there. "Where are my parents?"

"They went to get lunch."

I pull my phone out and send a text to them, letting them know I brought food over for everyone. I sit down, opting to wait for them to get back before eating because it gives me a minute to talk to Ana without Goldie next to us.

"So, what's up?" Ana asks.

"I think Lemon and I got back together last night but . . ." I pause and shake my head.

"You're afraid she's going to run for the hills with me here?"

I nod. "I'm not afraid. I know she's going to. I know how Lemon feels, and her feelings are valid. This is going to make her retreat, and I honestly don't blame her."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No," I tell her honestly. "Having Goldie here has been life changing. I love going home now because she's there and she gives me something to look forward to. I told you to move here, Ana. It's what's best for Goldie. And you. We have a good relationship, and you're close to my parents. I think Magnolia Grove is going to be good for you."

"Not at your expense, Wade."

I shake my head. "It'll be fine, Ana. Goldie's happiness is more important than anything."

"Wade . . ." She trails off when we hear my dad's voice.

"Lunch from Willy's that I didn't have to pay for. Sounds like a damn good day to me."

Dad puts the bags on the table while my mom sets plates and utensils down. Ana helps dish out the food while I go get Goldie.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hey, sweetie. Wanna eat some lunch?"

She shakes her head. "I don't like crab."

Goldie loves seafood but will do this every time we eat it unless it was her idea. "All right. I'll let Grandpa eat your crab cakes."

"Cakes?"

I nod. "Crab cakes."

She pretends to think and then hops off the swing. I scoop her up even though she's old enough to walk on her own.

"Are you happy Mommy's here?"

"Sure am." She'll never know the truth.

"Mommy says we are going to get a new house soon."

"That'll be fun. A whole new bedroom to decorate."

"And a dog."

I roll my eyes, knowing full well Ana won't be getting a dog anytime soon.