Chapter 7

Shit. I look down at the message on my phone and I can practically feel MT’s panic bleeding through my screen. She’s freaking out. Again. And she needs me. Again.

I try not to feel resentful that karma is biting me on the ass because she needs me more now than ever. An even bigger burden to bear.

No sooner do I think that than guilt gnaws at me. I ditched Malia whenever it suited me, and I was only too happy to push her towards surfing with Cove because I wanted to be free of her at the time.

Discovering from my parents that Malia had been admitted to a mental institution was a massive shock. It completely shook my world, even with everything going on around campus. I felt so bad for neglecting my best friend. I knew she didn’t really have anyone but me here, but I had no idea things had become so bad for her. I thought she was making progress. I guess I should have stuck with her more, rather than jumping into my love life and trying to have the best experience as a college student.

I’ve never been so scared for my girl when I got that call. They wouldn’t let me see her the entire time she was in treatment, and the only updates I got were from my parents who have ties to the clinic. The first time I saw her was the day they called me to collect her from the hospital, by which time my parents had managed to fill me in significantly on Malia’s situation.

Still, I was so shocked by how different she looked. She was almost unrecognisable, and I’ve known her almost our entire lives.

I know she doesn’t have it easy – never has – but it feels different this time. I’m worried that moving to the other side of the world might not have been the best thing for her mental health. For a while she seemed to be okay, making friends even and starting to live a ‘normal’ life, but then something happened and she had this breakdown.

Seems to me like she still isn’t over it, the hospital and my parents both seem to think she’s stable enough to be allowed back out into society. I’m not so sure.

I read the message again and sigh. I don’t know if I should go straight over there or seek advice first.

Me: I’ll be right over. Don’t panic.

I hit send and then immediately dial my parents. They’re listed as Malia’s next of kin because they’re in LA long term on business and MT’s parents are back in the UK. It made the most sense in case there was an emergency, and unfortunately her parents seemed only too glad to be rid of her.

“Darling, everything okay?”

“I’m not sure,” I hesitate, wondering if it was silly of me to call my parents so soon.

“What is it? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine, Mum,” I quickly reassure her.

“Is it Malia-Tarni? Has something happened?” I guess I should be glad she sort of asked about me first, but I know her real worry is Malia, not me. It’s understandable given that she’s like a second daughter to them, but it still smarts a little that she’s always made Malia her priority.

“I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean you’re not sure?” My mother’s tone is sharp, and I can sense her concern. Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have called until I’d seen Malia for myself.

“She sent me a message, she sounded pretty freaked out.”

“Is she taking her meds?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“How do you know? How can you be sure?” My mother’s panic is as palpable down the line as Malia’s was in her message.

“Because I administer them to her Mum, like we agreed I would.”

“Okay. And she doesn’t suspect anything?”

“She thinks she has agoraphobia.” Which is the story we agreed on.

“Good. Listen sweetie, I know you don’t entirely agree with our methods, but trust me when I say this is for Malia’s own good.”

“I know.” I sigh reluctantly. “I just hate seeing her hurting like this.”

“It would be much, much worse if we told her the truth, sweetie. We’re keeping her isolated and hidden for her own protection. If she needs to go out for any reason, you must be with her at all times and we want you to increase her medication while she’s out.”

“By how much?”

“Double it,” my father’s voice comes down the line, making me gasp.

“But won’t that hurt her? Isn’t it a lot?” My mind immediately jumps to the workshops we were given in school, where outside agencies would come in and preach about the dangers of drugs. I’m pretty sure we were all haunted by the videos of a girl OD’ing and choking on her own puke. In my mind’s eye, that girl’s face is replaced by Malia’s and it shakes me.

“We promise it’s perfectly safe. It’s to keep Malia and you, everyone really, safe. Trust us.”

“Okay.” I exhale shakily and begin walking across campus to check on Malia.

“Now, it’s probably best if you get round to her dorm and see what’s wrong.”

“I’m already on my way.”

“I wish you two were rooming together this year.”

“Malia’s parents—”

“We know. We’re working to overturn their damage.” My mother’s voice drips with disapproval, as it always does whenever the subject of Malia’s parents comes up.

They were downright neglectful at best, abusive at worst, and my parents have never approved of them or the way they treated Malia.

“Is there anything I can do?” I offer.

“Your job,” my father replies flatly, earning himself a disapproving tut from my mother.

“Just keep being a good friend to her, baby, you’re doing great. But let us know how it’s going, yeah? Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.”

“Okay,” I reply sadly before saying goodbye and hanging up.

No doubt I’ll see them soon when I next take Malia to the mainland for one of her checkups. It’s my job to get her to therapy once a week, but that’s on campus so it’s not too bad. I think getting her on a boat to the mainland might be a challenge though.

I get to Malia’s dorm and knock on the door. She doesn’t answer, but that’s not unusual, especially when she’s freaked out about something. I wonder, not for the first time, if the doctors have her meds right. Is she freaking out because they’re wearing off? She’s not due another dose until bedtime so she should be fine.

“Malia, it’s me,” I call softly through the door, knocking again too for good measure. No answer.

My phone buzzes again.

Malia: Where are you?

Me: I’m right outside, open the door!

Malia: I’m in the library. Help!

Shit. There’s no time to freak out, but what the fuck?! Malia’s not left her room in weeks and now she’s suddenly in the damn library? Why? And why is she sending me SOS messages?

I stash my phone in my pocket and take off running in the direction of the campus library. At least she hasn’t ventured off into town somewhere. The library I can deal with. I’m just glad I thought to grab some of Malia’s medication before I left. I just hope I get her back to her room without incident or drawing too much attention to us.