Chapter 18

Cove shifts so that he’s lying on top of me, his weight pressing me down onto the mound of blankets and pillows we’re lying on, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s reassuring, like one of those weighted blankets that are supposed to help with anxiety (spoiler alert: they don’t!).

Cove might just though. There are no feelings of anxiousness rising up in me, only feelings of contentment and bliss. They should clone him and sell him instead of blankets. Not that I want to share him…

Sharing reminds me of Bhodi and something uncomfortable squirms in my belly. Before I can examine it too closely, Cove takes over the kiss, and I don’t mind at all. He’s bolder than I would ever be, kissing me more deeply and coaxing me to give him what he needs. Which is perfect because I need him to guide me. He steals my oxygen and makes me dependent on him for my sanity, makes me crave him in the best way possible, brands me with his kisses.

When he pulls away he gives me a lazy, sexy grin that sets my heart fluttering.

“Ready to pick up where we left off the other night?”

I grin back at him, in an attempt at flirting. “I thought I experienced the grand finale? I thought we were done.”

“Oh Mai-Tai, you’re entitled to at least one encore.”

Everything clenches at his words and suddenly his teasing, his flirting, has flipped the tables. The power – if I ever even had it in the first place – is firmly in his hands as his devilish blue eyes promise me a world of pleasure. Yes please.

He pulls away, sitting up to give me room to breathe, but I hate the loss of him.

“I’m gonna need you naked for the next part,” he tells me, and even though my cheeks heat, I nod and struggle out of my shorts and top until I’m just in my bikini. It was clumsy because I didn’t bother to get up, but his eyes stay locked on my body the whole time. He doesn’t laugh at my clumsiness. In fact, he doesn’t even seem to notice it.

“Don’t tell me you have this exact bikini too,” I tease, breaking the tension I feel.

“I was this close to wearing it today.” He holds his thumb and index finger close together and laughs before becoming serious once more. “You remembered.”

I nod. “I remember our date so clearly now, but not the rest of it.”

He comes back to me, taking my face in his hands and stroking my cheek tenderly.

“It’s a start. I’m proud of you.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask why, as it’s not like I have any control over my memories, but then he kisses me and I preen like a goddamn peacock. If Cove’s kisses are the reward, I’m happy to bask in his misplaced pride.

He tugs at the strings keeping my bikini together and then I’m being kissed by the cool midnight air. Goosebumps raise on my flesh, but Cove skims his hands over my exposed skin and the heat of his body soon warms me.

“You feel amazing. As good as I remember and better than I imagined.”

His praises make me want to please him. I want him to keep talking…

“What did you imagine?” I bat my lashes at him, hoping to coax out the way he spoke to me before.

I want his dirty words again, and my question seems to do just the trick. It has his eyes darkening.

“You, like this. Under me. Then riding me.” His confession makes my cheeks flush a deep heated red and tingles run down my spine.

“What else?” I prompt him, greedy for more.

“Fuck, Mai-Tai…do you really want to know?”

I bite my lip and nod slowly. I do. It’s like a compulsion: I need his words. His promises of what’s to come.

“How about while I tell you, I also show you?”

“Okay,” I say breathlessly. I’d agree to pretty much anything right now, I’m so dizzy with need.

Cove lowers his head and kisses me, then he surprises me by kissing all along my jawline. When he reaches my ear, I suck in a sharp breath as he takes my lobe between his teeth and gently bites down. My hips twitch of their own accord, thrusting up to meet his. He’s already hard; he rubs his length against me, the cotton of his shorts chafing my sensitive skin in a delicious way that makes me come alive.

“I’ve been thinking about tasting you.”

“You did that before,” I whisper.

“But now I’ve had a tiny taste, I’m addicted. I need more.” He kisses my neck, sucking and biting the flesh until it’s tender and I’m throbbing between my legs.

“I’ve been obsessing over your breasts.” As if to prove his point, he moves his hands to cup them, his thumbs circling the sensitive buds until they’re erect and begging for his attention.

He doesn’t disappoint; dipping his head down to take one in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it until I’m squirming and then releasing it with a gentle pop that sounds obscenely loud to my ears, even over the music and fireworks which have somehow faded into the background.

He grins at me and repeats the action on the other side, his fingers still teasing my heated flesh. He cups both breasts in his hands and squeezes, making me gasp.

“You like that?” he asks. I nod, words failing me.

“You’re so responsive. I like that.”

I have no idea what he means; I literally just failed to respond to him with words, but he seems happy enough. Impressed even.

“I think you could come just from me doing this.”

“Doing wha—oh!” My back arches up as he tweaks both nipples at the same time, sending a hotwire straight between my legs. I think he’s right.

“Hmm, it’s tempting to just keep playing with you like this, but I’d also be torturing myself. And tonight, I don’t have the patience. I need more.”

“Take it then.”

“You might regret telling me that.” His grin turns wicked and he pushes me further back into the cushions. “You best get comfortable, Mai-Tai. This may take a while.”

He kisses his way down my body, his palms skim my flesh in a way that feels too good to be allowed and my eyelids flutter closed.

They fly open again when his lips make contact with my clit, and I squeak. Cove’s eyes lock on mine for the briefest moment and I can read the question there: is this okay? I nod shakily and his attention returns back between my legs.

Holy shit, the feel of his tongue on me there is more explosive than the fireworks detonating above us. A few deep swipes of his tongue and I’m trembling from head to toe.

It’s almost embarrassing but I’m too blissed out to care.

It takes seconds but then I’m panting and quivering and begging Cove. Begging for what? I couldn’t say. Stop. Don’t stop.

He doesn’t stop.

I shatter the night sky with my cries and eventually I realise that he’s stopped and is murmuring words of encouragement to me.

“Good girl, you did so well.” He kisses the inside of my thighs and strokes me softly.

When I stop shaking and I can breathe more easily again, his eyes lock on me once more.

“Ready to go again?”

“A-again?”

“You didn’t think that was it, did you? Oh Mai-Tai, I’m just getting started. You wanted to know what I’ve been imagining? Well, now you’re gonna live it. I’m going to make you come again, and this time you’re going to help me.”

“Me? H-how?”

The whole time he’s been talking to me he’s been stroking my pussy. Now, as I ask him how he expects me to help him, he gently parts my lips and uses the pad of his thumb to tease my opening.

“Touch your clit, Mai-Tai.” I gape at him and shake my head. No. No. I can’t do that. I never…I mean, I hardly ever do that. And never in front of someone else.

“Don’t be shy. Show me what you like.”

“I-I…” I don’t even know how to tell him.

“I’ve been getting off almost every night since we were interrupted. Picturing you touching yourself. It makes me so hard for you. I’ve been dreaming of watching you.”

I blush and slide a shaky hand down my body. I want to make him happy. I want more of his approval and his praise.

I want to make him proud.

“Will you h-help me?” I ask.

“Absolutely.” He takes my hand in his and guides my fingers to hover just above my clit. “Just do what feels good.”

“I don’t know what feels good.”

“Just play. Explore. Try things out. There’s no right or wrong way of doing it.”

He slides his finger into my opening and at the same time applies a light pressure on my hand so that my fingers make contact with my clit. It’s still sensitive from his tongue so I jump a little, but then he curls his finger inside me and I groan.

“Tell me what you like, Mai-Tai. Do you like it when I touch you like this?”

“Y-yes,” I pant. “Don’t stop!”

“Good. Enjoy. I know I will.”

He keeps his eyes on me the entire time, his finger gently stroking in and out of me, and his free hand guiding mine across the small bundle of nerves that has me quaking.

“Just go nice and slow.”

He encourages me to try different things. Less pressure, then more. Movements which go up and down, then small circles. Agonisingly slow, then fast. Everything feels amazing. I don’t know how I’m meant to choose my favourite; my head is spinning.

He adds a second finger and I gasp. It feels so tight. So good.

“You look so gorgeous like this, Mai-Tai. Your skin is flushed and glowing, those gorgeous little rosebud nipples are begging for my mouth, your big, beautiful eyes are hooded with need and desire…fuck. It’s taking everything I have not to just slide my cock into you right now and see how much of a perfect fit you are.”

Oh god. What do I even say to that?

His words cause everything to tighten, and I gasp his name and I come again.

“Fuck. That was perfect,” Cove says when I come back down to earth.

“Whoa.” All I can do is lie on my back and pant. It wasn’t as intense as my first orgasm, but it was mine. I feel proud of myself, and foolish for feeling that way.

“You did good, Mai-Tai.”

“Can I…can I, ummm, do that for you?” I blush furiously as I ask.

“There’s no need.”

“I want to.”

“You want to touch me?”

I nod, feeling shy. “I-I’ll need you to tell me what to do, but…yeah…I’d like to try.”

I can’t read his expression at all, it’s dark – possibly with desire – but the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows makes me think that I’ve said the right thing.

Gently, he reaches out and takes my hand once more, only this time he guides it to the waistband of his shorts.

“Tug them down,” he instructs.

I get up this time so that I don’t make a fool of myself trying to undress him. He pulls his shirt off and I’m distracted by his chest once more. I love that he’s so toned and bronzed from surfing and spending time at the beach. I’m much paler than I used to be. I’d love to get outside more.

Maybe I will be able to soon.

With Cove, anything and everything feels possible.

Cove and I wordlessly switch places, with him lying back against the cushions. I return to my task of removing his shorts, gripping them at his hip bones and tugging them down once he lifts his ass to help me.

He’s naked underneath, and my eyes widen at the sight of him. I don’t have a catalogue of cocks to compare him to, but to me he looks huge. Terrifyingly huge.

My hand trembles as I reach for him. This time he doesn’t take my hand and guide me, just lets me take my time to explore him.

I run my finger along the length of him. He’s warm. Hard. But his skin is so soft too. Smooth.

“Wrap your hand around it.”

I bite my lip at his order, but do as he says because I’m curious. He’s thick. Weighty. Solid. My fingers don’t meet when they wrap around him, and even in my fist, an obscene amount of him is still uncovered by my hand.

Feeling bolder, I move my hand up and down a little. It feels awkward. I’m awkward.

“Here. Let me show you,” Cove says kindly. He shifts my hand a little further away from the base of his cock and then envelopes my hand and his cock in his grip. He squeezes a little tighter than I was holding him and then begins to move us up and down his long length. I’m fascinated, unable to tear my eyes away from the tip which is glistening.

My mouth waters.

“What are you thinking, Mai-Tai?” I can feel Cove’s gaze on me and I squirm. “Tell me. Total honesty, no need to be embarrassed or shy with me.”

“I-I’d like to taste you.”

He hisses. A sharp sound that makes me flinch. “Sorry. Sorry, I don’t have to. I just—”

“Don’t apologise for telling me what you want, Malia. You want to taste me? Do it.”

I flick my eyes up to his face but see nothing but sincerity on his face. I return my attention to his cock. Cove has released me and my hand is still moving on its own. I’m doing that?

I lean down and his smell assaults my senses. He smells so good. My mouth waters even more. I can do this.

I get closer, close enough that I can see the strong veins decorating his shaft, and the slit at the tip where his precum is leaking from. I lick my lips and then dart my tongue out to take a tentative swipe.

His flavour explodes on my tongue and I groan at the same time as Cove does. He sounds pained. Did I hurt him? Do something wrong?

I loosen my grip and start to pull away but his hands snap out to grab and stop me.

“Don’t stop,” he demands.

“O-okay.” I tighten my grip and keep moving, relishing the way his muscles tighten and seem to pulse under me.

I can’t help myself; I have to taste him again. Leaning forward, I lick his tip again and then, feeling brave, slip my lips over his entire head, sucking him into my mouth. He feels warm and tastes salty, and I can’t help but swirl my tongue over the smooth skin.

Cove groans but I don’t stop. I think it’s a good groan.

His fingers tangle in my hair and I still, but he doesn’t do anything more. Doesn’t pull me away or push for more. After a moment I relax and return to exploring him with my mouth. My free hand wanders south to cup his balls. I like the feel and weight of them in my hand.

“You’re killing me, Mai-Tai.”

I release him with a pop. “Sorry. I have no idea what I’m doing,” I confess.

“Don’t apologise. You’re perfect. And any other time I’d let you do that to me all night long, but I need to be inside you.”

“Oh.”

“Come here.”

He holds his arms out to me and I fall eagerly into them, embracing him back and snuggling into his chest. He rolls us so that he’s back on top and I’m helpless under him.

“I’ve been imagining you laid out for me, like this, naked and needy. Your soaked pussy dripping, and you begging me to be inside you.”

“Cove, please!”

“Do you want that, Mai-Tai?”

“Yes!”

“Your wish is my command.” He grins at me and positions himself at my entrance, but he doesn’t thrust in.

I frown and then meet his gaze.

“What?” I ask.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, why?”

“You’ve tensed up. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It always hurts.”

“Is it…” he swallows. “Your first time?”

“No. But it’s always hurt…before.”

“I promise I won’t hurt you, Malia.” He looks me right in the eyes as he promises, and I find myself believing him. “Trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Relax.”

He kisses me again, and within moments I’m melting back into the cushions and my anxiety is fading.

Cove reaches between our bodies and plays with my clit, getting me worked up and ready for him again. His hand moves to his cock and he teases me by sliding his dick back and forth between my folds. I can hear how wet I am; how ready for him my body is, even if my brain is having other ideas.

I switch my brain off. I’m ready for this. I want this. I need—

“Cove!” I gasp as he pushes the tip in. My back arches up off the blankets and he hisses.

“Okay?”

“So good!”

“I’m gonna go a little deeper now. Just relax. Kiss me.”

I close my eyes and lose myself in kissing him but it’s not enough to distract from the intrusion between my thighs. He’s just so big. I can feel myself stretching to accommodate him as he pushes into me, infinitesimally slowly.

I break our kiss on a gasp.

“You feel like heaven,” Cove groans. “You good?”

“It’s—perfect. Magical,” I pant back.

“I’m going to move now, just stay like this.”

I’m liquid. Boneless. I couldn’t tense or resist him if I tried. And I have no inclination to try. Not when he feels so good filling me up.

He pulls back, and the cold air rushes to caress my body where his has left me. I welcome the coolness on my overheated skin, but a second later he’s back, pushing deeply into me and making my breath hitch.

“Good?”

“So good.”

“Again?”

“God yes.”

He repeats the action, smoother this time, and doesn’t stop. Back and forth his hips move, sliding him in and out. It feels nothing like before…this is divine.

I didn’t know it could feel like this.

All of the anxiety I was feeling before is gone, but in its place is a new kind of tension, a tightness building in my muscles and in my core. Like a coiling spring that’s being wound and wound and wound until it’s at breaking point and desperate for its release.

My fingers are clawing down Cove’s back, my heels digging into his ass to pull him deeper into me. Harder.

I’m panting, begging, nearly crying with the frantic need to see this through to the end and Cove’s right there with me, matching my fevered actions with increased pace and force of his own.

It feels like climbing a mountain, to reach the pinnacle, only to realise that the only way down is to jump off the ledge into the abyss.

And I’m ready. I want to jump. To fall. To crash back down to earth from the higher plains of pleasure that Cove has driven me to.

My coil is about to snap.

“Come for me, Mai-Tai,” Cove pants in my ear. “I can’t hold back any longer.”

With the permission I didn’t know I was waiting for, I unleash my spring with a violent cry, screaming my release into the inky darkness.

The sky lights up with a stunning night rainbow, each colour so bright I can taste them on my tongue. I swear I hear the stars sing their blessings down on us, and every single particle in the air charged with magic caresses my skin.

Cove groans and stills. I feel him swell and release, pulsing inside me as my own muscles spasm and dance back down to earth.

He pulls out and flops onto his back and I feel a rush of wetness between my thighs.

Shit. We didn’t even think about protection.

I tense for a second and then force myself to let it go. It’s too late to change anything and too soon to be able to do anything about it. We’re in a boat in the middle of the ocean. We can deal with…stuff later.

I close my eyes and relax.

When I come to, I’m still lying on my back, still trying to catch my breath and still trying to recover from…all that. Cove is still next to me, equally breathless, his fingers entwined with mine. It’s like he can’t bear to let me go.

I like it.

I prop myself up on my elbows and glance over at him. He looks gorgeous with his hair all ruffled. I want to reach out and run my fingers through it, but I can’t stand to let go of his hand either.

Above us, the fireworks are reaching their grand finale but I’m panting so hard I can’t make out the music they’re set to. Nothing will beat what we just did anyway.

Blinding white light sears my vision, and pain explodes inside my skull with enough force to send me crashing back against the pillows. I grab my head and roll onto my side, groaning. It’s agony and I want nothing more than to scream the pain away, but I’m too weak from the sudden onslaught to fight it. All I can do is lie there and let it wash over me in scorching waves of fire.

I’ve never known pain like it – even through all the electroshock ‘therapy’. It makes me want to scratch until my hot blood flows freely over my skin to soothe and cool the pain away.

Then the voices start, and somehow this torment ricochets even higher. I can’t even whimper or cry; the pain is holding me captive in its jaws so tightly I can’t spare the energy. All I can do is close my eyes, listen, and pray I somehow survive.

We’re coming for you. You can’t escape. We can sense you now.

There’s no running. No hiding. Your soul will be ours.

Going to taste.

Rip. Tear. Scream.

Going to kill.

As quickly as they started, they’re gone. The pain is gone but the memory of it lingers, twitching in my muscles and settling on my skin in a sticky cool sweat. Where I was burning up before, I’m shivering and shaking now. I’m breathless for an entirely different reason, and all of my muscles hurt from the tension that was coiled around me.

“Fuck!” I cry, though it comes out more like a broken sob.

“What’s wrong?” Cove is instantly by my side, face full of concern. I have no idea what he’s been doing for the last…however many minutes I was out of it, locked in my prison of pain. Did he even notice anything was wrong until I spoke?

It doesn’t matter. It’s not like I can tell him the truth…can I?

“Nothing. I just…I…I need my bag. Have you seen it?” I get to my knees, my head spinning, and fumble around trying to find my belongings as my rising panic reaches fever pitch.

I locate my bikini and desperately try to tie the strings that will hold it together. My shaky hands don’t want to comply though and I fumble over and over again.

“Let me help,” Cove says gently, his hands brushing my thighs and making me jump. “I’ve got this.”

He deftly re-ties my bikini bottoms and then moves on to the top. I twitch in agitation, my skin thrumming with electricity as my brain races.

I didn’t take my meds! Summer warned me! Why didn’t I listen? What the hell was that? What just happened to me?

I’m so fucked.