Chapter 15

“Good morning, study buddy,” a voice that is way too fucking Julie Andrews-like chirps.

Only Julie Andrews didn’t have that deep baritone, did she?

I groan and pull the covers back up over my head. Who the hell is waking me up at this god-awful hour and why do they seem so sadistically pleased about it?

“Wakey wakey, sleepy head!”

“Unghr.”

“I’m sorry, sunshine, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Go’way!” Fuck off! I internally scream.

“Sorry, no can do, buttercup. Suck it up and show me those pretty little peepers.”

“Who the fuck says peepers?”

“Jeepers, creepers, where’d you get those peepers?”

“Please stop singing…if that’s what you’re trying to do. It’s too early and it’s too…darn painful.”

“Who says ‘darn’?”

Realising that my room intruder probably isn’t going to go away, I prise open my eyelids and blink half a dozen times to unstick them.

“Bhodi?” I gasp. “What are you doing in my room? How did you get in?”

“Your door wasn’t locked. I’m here to take you to class, remember?”

Shit. Was that today? When did I agree to go back? Must have been a moment of madness when I was feeling brave or stupid or something.

“Come on, little dot. Time to rise and shine.”

“Wait, what? My door was unlocked?” My panic rises, thinking of Summer’s warnings about the murders and the missing girls, and I cringe remembering how I joked about it with Bhodi.

“Yeah. Wasn’t even fully closed either. You’re lucky it was me creeping in, and not someone less good looking. Imagine having to wake up first thing to someone ugly.”

He laughs and whips back the covers. I yelp and scramble to cover myself up, but it’s no use, he’s pulled the duvet clean off the bed and my robe is hanging on my bathroom door.

Fuck.

In my crop top and pants I make a mad dash for the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and blocking out Bhodi’s raucous laughter.

Oh my god. I hope the room doesn’t still smell of almost-sex. Oh my double god, I almost had sex last night, and I didn’t have a panic attack about it!

I’ll kill Summer for interrupting when she did.

When I feel human again, I emerge from my bathroom in my robe. Bhodi is bouncing on my bed in the exact spot where Cove and I… My face burns with embarrassment.

He’s turned on my music and is blasting Nickleback’s ‘How You Remind Me’ through the speakers, which I’m sure my neighbours will love at whatever ungodly hour this is.

“Isn’t it a little early for class?” I ask, glancing at my bedside clock as I move around the room gathering my things for the day and turning down the volume. Bhodi grins at me and switches the track to ‘Numb Little Bug’, making me smile.

“I thought I’d treat you to breakfast first. Have to start the day right and get some meat back on your bones.”

I nod at him as I return to the bathroom, but once the door is closed I frown at his comment. I have lost weight, but I don’t know how he knows that. He said we have a class together but that his attendance has been poor. So how would he notice my weight? Why would he care?

Is there more to our acquaintance than he’s telling me?

I hope so.

I like Bhodi. He’s a lot of fun to be around. His carefree, no fucks given attitude is refreshing, and he always makes me laugh. He’s thrilling but safe at the same time. Exhilarating and calming. Just being in his presence quiets my mind chatter, and he makes me want to take more risks.

Is this a date? Do I want it to be?

Yes!

“I’m ready,” I tell Bhodi, stepping out of the bathroom. I’ve plaited my wet hair and pulled on blue jean shorts and a purple vest top, with a lace jacket over the top. It’s a little nicer than I would normally wear for class, but not so much so as to be noticeable. I’d hate to look foolish getting all dressed up for a date that never was. I quickly grab my bag with my supplies in and pocket my keys and my phone.

Bhodi glances up at me from his phone and gives me a winning smile. Honestly, Summer used to talk about panty-dropping grins and I never really got it, until now. If the heat and tingles between my legs are anything to go by, I would say that Bhodi has a panty-melting smile for sure.

I give him a shy one in return.

“Great. I have it all planned out, I’m taking you to the best place!” His grin turns mischievous and my stomach swoops in anticipation.

“Will I like it?”

“You’ll love it! There won’t be hardly any people, it’s a safe place, and I can guarantee some of the best breakfast food you’ve ever had.”

“Okay, that sounds really good.” I mean, it sounds too good to be true. The best food and no people? Sign me up.

“And the best bit is, we won’t be late for class.” I’m pretty sure he’s being sarcastic here, but I give him the benefit of the doubt. Even while I’ve been out of classes, he’s been sending me pictures of his completed assignments, notes on the required reading, and snaps of him attending lectures without me. He’s really been trying, which has really helped endear himself to me.

“Want to listen to my playlist while we walk?”

“Absolutely.” I nod eagerly. I love the eclectic collection of music I’m getting on my phone from the songs Cove and Bhodi – and now I guess even my therapist – keep sending me.

It’s rekindled a love for music I’d forgotten about, and I’m rarely without my earbuds any more.

“What’s playing today?” I ask, taking one of Bhodi’s proffered earbuds and slipping it in. I don’t even cringe, when before there’s no way I’d share such a personal item with someone else without gagging at the mere thought of it. Nothing about Bhodi grosses me out.

“I thought I’d start easy this morning. Bit too early to hit you with the hard stuff,” he teases. I laugh and loop my arm through his as we leave my room. It’s become a habit, touching him, and one I quite like. He never complains either, so I guess he’s okay with it.

‘Hot Blood’ by Kaleo begins to play and I grin at Bhodi. “Oh, I know this one!”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I’m a big fan. Love their stuff. I’ve seen them in concert too!” I blink as that memory resurfaces. Whoa. Where did that come from?

“Really? Where? I’d love to see them.”

“Back in the U.K.”

“You don’t strike me as the concert-going type.” He pulls a face like he’s trying not to be rude but I’m not offended. He’s right.

“It was terrifying,” I admit with a laugh. “But Summer came with me – she hated every minute of it – and we had backstage passes so I was able to watch the show from the wings, without freaking out too much.”

“Which is your favourite song?” he asks, making my cheeks heat once more.

“‘Break My Baby’.”

“I don’t know that one.”

“It’s…ummm…good.” I squirm a little thinking of the lyrics and how they may come across as…sexual. “It’s off their new album.”

“I’ll have to listen to it.”

“Later,” I hastily reply. “I’m hungry.”

Bhodi laughs. “Okay. Wouldn’t dare keep the princess waiting for food.”

He leads me across campus, and I have to wonder if we’re making a stop-off somewhere first because he’s leading us right towards the library. Maybe he needs a book or something for class, though I doubt the library will be open this early.

It’s not one of those twenty-four seven places sadly. The staff decided there was little point in opening around the clock, what with every student having internet access in their room. It makes sense, but nothing beats the feel and smell of actual paper to me. You can learn things in libraries that you can never find online. They’re magical places.

Especially this one.

“You okay?” Bhodi asks me when I give a wistful little sigh.

“Yeah. I just love this place.”

Thankfully, he doesn’t look at me like I’m crazy, but he does chuckle and reply “I know”, before pulling a large antique key from his pocket and unlocking the large wooden doors in front of us.

My eyes widen.

“You have a key to the library?” I hiss, furtively glancing around in case anyone catches us.

“Looks like it.”

“But…why? How? Are we going to get into trouble for breaking in?” I’m freaking out. I can hear the panic in my voice, feel the alarm in my rising body temperature and slick palms.

“Well, it wouldn’t be breaking in now would it, if I had a key?”

Is that true? I mean, I guess he’s not technically breaking in, but if he came by the key using nefarious means, then surely it would be breaking and entering?

Oh my god, I’m B&E too just by being with him. I’m an accomplice! What am I going to do if we get caught? There’s no way my parents will pay my bail.

“Malia, breathe. You just said all that out loud.” Bhodi laughs, but it’s not unkind. “I promise, I didn’t get this key by doing anything nefarious, and we are not breaking and entering, getting caught or going to jail.”

“Who says nefarious?”

“Erm, you did. You’re kinda hilariously cute, you know? Now, calm your overactive doomsday imagination or we’ll be late for breakfast.”

The grin he gives me this time isn’t panty-melting or panty-dropping. It just makes everything combust. I’m basically on fire from the waist down and I don’t know how he doesn’t notice. I gape at him until he chuckles again, gently takes my hand and leads me inside.

This is it. I’m having a stroke. I was traumatised by the advert on TV as a kid, the one where the fire breaks out in the man’s body and spreads…and that’s exactly what Bhodi’s touch is doing to me.

“We’re having breakfast in the library?!” I whisper.

“Yep,” he replies, his voice so loud in the empty foyer that it makes me cringe. He’s too loud. “And you don’t need to whisper. There’s no one here, so no one to disturb.”

“But…but it’s a library!”

I don’t know if I’m protesting the noise level or the eating. I’m going to hell for eating in a library! Doesn’t he know it’s a sacred space, to be revered and respected?

I’m definitely freaking out about both.

Bhodi looks at me like I’m highly entertaining, shakes his head and pulls me through the stacks.

The main lights are off and only the desk lamps are lit, giving the space a cosy, slightly eerie feel. I love it. I follow Bhodi along the rows of old wooden shelves to the back corner of the library, but hesitate when he pushes open a door marked Staff Only.

“Erm, Bhodi? Are we allowed…”

“It’s fine. Follow me.”

I mean, he did have a key and no alarms have gone off, so maybe it is okay.

Stepping inside, I blink to adjust to the change in light. It’s brighter in here, but not harsh.

The first thing to hit me is the smell of fresh coffee and warm pastries. It’s a staffroom, rather than an office like I originally thought when I previously saw the door, and it’s laid out with comfy chairs, a breakfast station, mismatched wooden tables and so many houseplants. In the corner of the room is a small wooden bookcase, loaded with tattered looking paperbacks.

“Make yourself at home. Coffee?” Bhodi asks.

“Sure.”

I have no idea what I’m agreeing to, I just make a beeline for the books, curious to see why a library break room would need more books, and what could possibly be on the shelves.

I’m not disappointed.

Row upon row of romance books greet me, their spines proudly proclaiming their titles as I skim them. There’s everything here from vintage Mills & Boon, historical bodice rippers and cosy rom-coms, to modern paranormal, fantasy and dark romance books. There’s even some latest releases and a few of my favourite authors on there.

“Ah, you found Betsy’s secret stash, I see.”

I jump guiltily like I just got caught with my hand inside the biscuit jar, and Bhodi grins at me. My face warms.

“B-Betsy?”

“She’s the old dear that runs this place. You know, the violet rinse, old bat with spectacles thicker than doorstops?” He says this with complete affection in his tone so I know he’s not being mean. And yes, I do know the librarian he’s talking about, though she doesn’t seem to work the front desk much. I nod.

“But…Betsy? I didn’t know that was her name.”

“Yep. Cove’s obsessed with her. He named his board after her. He loves her something chronic. Dare say she has a sweet spot for him too…but I’m her favourite. She doesn’t share her breakfast station with just anyone you know.”

I laugh at the pride in his voice and his puffed-out chest. A softer side to Bhodi is kind of adorable.

“You and Cove know each other?”

“Yep.”

He doesn’t say anything else and even though I have more to ask, I bite my tongue. How do they know each other? Are they friends? Do they talk to each other about me?

“So how did you get to be Betsy’s favourite then?” I ask.

“I fix things for her. Help out around the library, do the heavy lifting, restock the high shelves when she’s on her own, that sort of thing.”

“Like community service?”

“I enjoy it.” He shrugs, neither confirming nor denying his reasons for helping. “Betsy’s a legend. She’s been on this island for as long as the university’s been here, I reckon. She’d tan my hide for saying that though. I like to hear her stories, and she indulges me by telling ‘em. I’ve got time for her.”

This is definitely a side to Bhodi I wasn’t expecting. Would I expect the pretty boy next door, Cove, to charm the old ladies? Absolutely. But stacked, brooding, failing his classes, bad boy, Bhodi? No way.

It makes heat bloom in my chest. I like it. I like him.

“I’ll introduce you sometime, but she’s not here today. She has a hospital appointment on the mainland, hence giving me the key to open up. I popped in real quick to set up the breakfast things before I came to get you.”

“Awesome. I hope she’s okay though?”

“Yeah. Just an eye test. Pointless if you ask me, she’s blind as a bat and that’s what they’ll tell her today too.”

I can hear the affection in his voice and it makes me smile. I never had a grandparent or even an older role model in my life to feel warm and protective of, but it’s clear to see he cares about her very much.

“So, breakfast. What would you like? I have waffles warming and a variety of toppings. Croissants, pain au chocolat, crêpes. I can even offer you yoghurt, fresh fruit and granola from the mini fridge.”

“Wow. Erm, that’s a lot. I’ll just take whatever you’re having.”

He nods, hands me the coffee and wanders off to get some breakfast bits for the two of us. I go back to perusing the books. I wonder why these are in here and not out on the main shelves? I guess he did say something about it being Betsy’s secret stash though, so maybe these are her own personal copies? I don’t know why she’d keep them here and not at home though.

“Here you go.”

Bhodi hands me a plate of waffles with red berries and syrup on, and I groan. “This looks amazing.”

“Tuck in,” he replies with an easy smile, passing me cutlery. He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

It tastes even better than it looks and we eat in companionable silence. This is so nice, a really thoughtful date on Bhodi’s part.

If it is a date.

Isit a date?

It feels like a date.

I mean, I want it to be. But…what if it isn’t? What if this is just two friends having breakfast? What if we’re not even friends, just study buddies like he said? Though, the word ‘buddy’ is a synonym for friend, isn’t it?

“What are we?” I blurt out.

Bhodi raises a brow while he finishes his mouthful. I probably should have done that too before speaking and practically spraying half-chewed waffles everywhere. If this is a date, it’s bound to be our one and only now. Nice one, Malia. You uncultured swine.

“Do you mean that in an anthropic sense?”

“No, I mean us. Me and you. What are we?”

“Are we human or are we dancer?” he sings. I frown, wishing I’d just kept my mouth shut. “Malia, we, you and me, us, can be anything you want us to be.”

“But are we friends?”

“Friends? Sure.”

“Just friends?”

“Do you want to be more?” he asks, putting down his plate and leaning forward. Somehow his gaze captures mine and, try as I might, I can’t bring myself to tear it away.

“Maybe,” I whisper, unable to lie but unable to be completely honest and raw with him either. “Is this a date?”

“I’ve never taken a girl to breakfast before.”

Disappointment lances through me. “So it’s not.”

“It’s the best date I’ve ever been on, if you want it to be a date.”

“I do.” My voice is barely audible as guilt twists in my gut. “But…I guess I’m kind of dating Cove too.”

“I know.”

“And you don’t mind?” I blink at him, incredulous.

“Why would I mind?” he counters easily. He’s way too calm and laid back about this, while inside I’m freaking the fuck out. I can’t be dating two guys!

“Umm…”

What do I say to that? Why wouldn’t he mind? I can’t tell him that if it was the other way round and he was dating two girls, I’d have an issue with it! It’ll make me sound crazy-jealous and possessive. And I don’t have a right to be either of those things. We’re on one date. I have no right to be…anything.

But…maybe he just doesn’t like me as much as I like him? If he did, he wouldn’t be okay with sharing me with Cove, would he? He’d want me all to himself if he really cared, surely?

I guess that means they have talked about me then! Shit. What did they say? Did they fight? Is Cove okay with Bhodi taking me out?

I’m so bad at this! I shouldn’t be getting involved with anyone, let alone two anyones!

“You’re not bad at anything, Malia.” Bhodi slips his hands into mine, making me jump. When did he close the gap between us?

“Umm.”

“Listen to me. Yes, Cove and I have spoken about you, briefly. We’re friends. I know you and him hang out, and he knows that me and you do the same. We both like you, and you seem to like both of us, so I propose we keep hanging out and see what happens. No pressure…” I open my mouth to argue but he stops me with a finger to my lips. “None whatsoever. And for the record, I like you. A lot. More than any girl I’ve ever not taken to breakfast before. So stop over thinking, okay?”

All I can do is nod because he’s so close. His warm breath on my face and his soft words in my ears have short circuited my brain.

“Nuggets.”

“Nuggets?”

Honestly I have no idea why that just came out of my mouth. I swear I was trying to formulate a response but got as far as “ungh” and my brain autocorrected it to nuggets.

“I like nuggets?” I say hopefully, praying that he isn’t about to cut and run from this all-new level of crazy that I’m firing at him.

He grins at me, a slow, lazy thing that stretches across his face and lights up his eyes. My heart stutters, freezes. “Is this your way of asking me out on a date, little dot?”

I nod. Because ‘I’m awkward but kinda cute’ looks so much better than ‘my brain autocorrected my freaking-out puddle-of-goo reaction to you, to fucking nuggets’.

“You’re adorable. I’d love to go get nuggets with you sometime. Maybe even dessert too.”

He winks.

And now my heart is beating triple time as my own goofy grin slowly spreads across my face.

“Gretaway.”

“Gretaway?”

I clear my throat. “I meant great. Can’t wait. It got mashed together. I’m sorry. I’m a horrible human. I suck at life.”

He laughs again and mutters something under his breath which sounds suspiciously like “adorable” again.

I blush. Not an ‘adorable’ sprinkling of pink across my cheeks, but full-on angry purple blotches that I can feel spreading from my cheeks all the way down my chest.

I want that ground to open up and swallow me again, but it never seems to heed my wishes. Bastard.

Bhodi is so freaking close.

His breath tickles my face.

If I was brave…if I was Summer…hell, if I was a normal girl, I could lean forward a couple of inches and close the gap between us. Press my lips to his and see if he tastes as good as he looks.

I want to. I really do.

“Are you ever going to kiss me, little dot? You’re killing me here,” Bhodi groans. He leans into me and rests his forehead against mine. It cools my overheated skin but still sends tingles of electricity through me. I love Bhodi’s touch. I want more.

Am I going to kiss him? Should I? It sounds like he wants me to. But what if I suck at it or do it wrong or—

A surprised squeak leaves me when Bhodi decides he’s had enough of waiting and presses his lips to mine. I feel his laugh rumble through his chest; it makes me clench my thighs and dig my nails into my palms to keep from running my hands over every inch of him.

He deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping in to dance with mine and I swear I melt right into his mouth as I dissolve into a puddle on the seat.

Eventually he pulls away, and I swear it’s been a year of solid kissing. We’re definitely late for class. I think we may have missed graduation. I might be in my thirties now, and have missed out on a whole possible life. I don’t know what year it is anymore, all I know is I need more. More of Bhodi. More kissing. And I want to touch and taste every inch of him.

I whimper and pull Bhodi back to me, initiating the kiss this time and trying to do what he did. When I relax into it, stop over thinking and just do what feels good, I actually get the hang of it.

Until Bhodi groans like I’ve hurt him and I pull away like I got a shock.

“Shit. Sorry!” I jump out of my seat and bolt for the door to put some distance between us.

“You don’t need to apologise,” he tells me, adjusting himself. I can’t help but follow the movement of his hands and immediately wish I hadn’t when I see how hard he is. Huge and hard! Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck what would I even do with that?

I swallow noisily. “I-I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m not good at…this stuff.”

“I’m not hurt. You’re perfect. But we should probably head to class.” He nods at the open doorway I’m standing in, to the library beyond. There are students milling around so the place is obviously officially open now, but it’s not so busy before classes begin compared to everyone that flocks here after.

Bhodi loops his arm through mine, making my heart dance, and gently leads me out of the breakfast room. I guess we should tidy up, but I really don’t want to be late for class. Instead, I protest, “But you moaned and I thought—”

He stops walking abruptly and I sort of stumble into him. He grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him. His expression is unreadable, but intense. He looks…maybe mad? I really don’t know. Facial expressions are hard at the best of times, but even more challenging when I’m kiss-confuzzled and my brain is literally sparking in a flurry of rainbow colours and musical scales. Kissing Bhodi was a riot of colour and a symphony of sounds, and all I can think about is how much more I want. Need.

His lips caress mine once more, tenderly this time, but the effect is just as strong.

I whimper when he pulls away. Why does he keep doing that?

“Come on, little dot. I better get you to class before the staff discover us and find me defiling you in the library.”

I giggle and close the gap between us one last time, emboldened by the endorphins that Bhodi creates.

Shame. That sounds like a lot of fun, I think as I kiss him.