Chapter 5

Five

I managedto keep Clara away for a day. Last night I faked a headache and she let me off the hook even though she didn't seem to believe me at all. Today, however, she's already sent a text to say that she'll be here this morning at eight.

I love my little sister so much, but I don't want to discuss what happened in Scarlett's office with her. I also don't want to talk to my brothers about it. They will run and tell my mom and she isn't a big fan of Scarlett. I did a lot of bad things after Scarlett left. I was depressed, got in fights, and drank. I don't know if Mom has forgiven Scarlett for my behavior after she left. It wasn't her fault that I behaved like a jackass, but at the time my whole family was scared I wouldn't ever find my way again. It was easy to have Scarlett as a scapegoat.

My front door opens and in breezes my whirlwind of a sister. She's finished school and this is her last month as my personal assistant. I'm proud of her, but I'm just not ready to let her go. I'm not ready for my baby sister to not need me anymore. Although, if you ask her, she'd probably say that I need her more than she needs me. She would be right. Clara will still be working at St. James C amp; D, but in a different department. It will be hard not seeing her sitting at the desk outside my office every day.

"Knox, I'm here. I brought coffee and doughnuts from Sweet Star." Clara steps into the room and handing me the coffee and doughnut bag. "You might not want to drink the coffee. Gillian isn't a fan of yours at the moment. She wouldn't tell me why, but she told me to tell you to stop being a pigheaded jerk."

Placing the coffee on the counter and slide it away. I don't think she would risk her bakery's reputation, but better safe than sorry. "Yeah, I'm sure she's heard what a jerk I am."

"Who were you a jerk to big brother?" Clara takes a big bite of her jelly filled doughnut and it squirts all over. "Shit."

Laughing, I hand her a napkin and then answer, "Scarlett Hunter."

"What!" Clara yells and jumps out of her chair. "The girl who broke your heart. You can be a jerk to her all you want. Tell me where she is, and I'll show her what she gets for hurting one of my big brothers."

"Sit down, champ." This was the reason I didn't want to tell my family about Scarlett being back. "I don't need my little sister to fight for me."

"Ok, you're probably right, but if you want me to tap in, just let me know." A sly look crosses her face. "Or you could tell Mom what happened. I'm sure she would have something to say about it."

That is the very last thing I want to happen, and Clara knows it. "Knox, you went completely white. You must have done something bad."

"It wasn't great, but you probably don't remember how mad Mom was at Scarlett when she left."

Clara shakes her head.

I dust powered sugar off my pants. "Let's just say Mom is not a fan."

"Oh."

"Yeah. It's going to be bad enough that she's back in town as far as Mom is concerned, but if she knew that I wanted to get back together with Scarlett… Mom would explode."

"You want to get back together? I mean, I'm happy for you if that's what you want, but I don't know exactly what happened before. I just know that you got very sad, wouldn't play and there were fights about you going to the school you had planned to go to. Have you kept in touch with Scarlett?"

"I didn't see her from the day she left until this week. I saw her out the window of Ivy's hospital room."

"That's why you left me at the hospital?"

"Yes, I wasn't sure that it was really her, but I had to find out. I found out where she worked and went to her office. I just wanted to talk to her, but she was upset. Some things happened and then it was like a switch flipped in her and she changed. I turned tail and ran after that."

"By ‘some things' you mean sex?" she asks with a grimace on her face.

"Not a fan of you using that word, Clara, but yes."

She's twenty-three and the same age as Wilder's wife, but my baby sister does not need to say anything about sex out loud to me.

Clara smacks me upside the head— lovingly. "Knox St. James, why? Why would you do that? You know that this girl broke your heart for some mystery reason, but you couldn't keep it in your pants for one conversation. Plus, you were at her workplace. Clearly our brother Wilder likes to pick women up at work, but I didn't know it was genetic."

"Conversation over. Once you start talking about keeping things in my pants, we have veered into a territory I'm not discussing with my sister. Also, you set Wilder and Ivy up."

A sigh that would make our mom proud leaves her body. "I'm just saying that you made a lot of bad decisions there, Knox. You are not the brother that makes rash decisions. Obviously, you still have very strong feelings for Scarlett, and you'll have to figure those out. You need to talk to her —somewhere public— to find out what happened and if it's something you both can move past."

Pride feels my chest as I walk toward my baby sister. Wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug, I whisper, "Clara Bear, I know we all give you a hard time, but you are the smartest St. James."

I hear a muffled, "I know."

Laughing and pulling back so she can breathe, I ask, "Can you keep all of this to yourself for at least a couple of days?"

"I can try. I won't tell anyone, but I also won't lie." Clara has always had that rule with us, so that's really all I can ask of her.

"Okay, thank you. I love you, little sister." I give her another tight hug.

"Love you too, big brother."

We chat for a few more minutes, mostly about work, and then Clara leaves to visit Wilder and Ivy. She promises to send me new pictures of the baby and to try to keep the family out of my business.

Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do about Scarlett.

Clara is right. I need to find out what happened before and what that means for now. My heart is telling me that it doesn't matter, but I need to be rational and think this through. What I really want is to pull her back into my arms, tell her everything will be okay and live happily ever after with the woman I always thought I would marry.