20. Teddy

20

teddy

W hat is this?” Ivy asked, looking around the room.

I scratched my chin. “You know about the naughty and nice list, right?”

She nodded. “Sure. Who doesn’t?”

“This is it.”

It was a reminder that one day, all of this would be mine to take over. Somehow, the idea of the impossibly big shoes I would one day have to fill didn’t fill me with as much apprehension as usual. Maybe it was because I had Ivy by my side now. Everything felt different.

Her mouth formed a little ‘o’ as she surveyed the walls. “But this place is…”

“Records of all the children of the world.”

“This is insane.”

She was right. There were more records in here than any one person in their life could ever read. Not to mention, no one could explain how they came here. It wasn’t like there were thousands of elves scattered across the world, entering data into tablets as they watched children. No, the answer was plain and simple: magic .

In the middle of the room sat the console that collected and analyzed all the data, though it still had to be checked twice each year for errors. Guiding her to it, I explained its history and how it worked.

“So you really want to take over all of this someday? You never considered anything else?”

Running my fingers through my hair, I looked away. “Of course I did.” I’d gone to college like a normal kid, and I’d thought about it. What it would be like to walk away. To leave this life behind. “But I can’t imagine not being here. Not raising my kids here. Even if I never became Santa Claus, I love the North Pole.”

“Right.” She turned away, gnawing on her lower lip. Was that too much to process?

“Teddy.” Ivy’s voice was barely a whisper. “What are we doing?”

“Having fun. What else would we be doing?”

“I just… What happens when I go home?”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not like we’re going to be in a long-distance relationship. And I know you’re only at Christmasland temporarily. So whatever this is between us…” She shook her head. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

My heart sank. It was a reminder that this wasn’t permanent. That she still didn’t feel like this place could be her home.

A low growl slipped free from my throat. “What do you mean, it doesn’t have to mean anything, Ivy? This doesn’t mean anything to you?”

“No, I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“ No ?” She didn’t say anything, and what else was there? She was right. We weren’t in a relationship. “Right.” I stood up, running my hands through my hair. “So I can fuck you, but nothing more?”

“Teddy, I?—”

“It’s fine. I get it. This doesn’t mean anything to you.” Not like it did to me.

“That’s not what I’m saying at all?—”

I let out a deep sigh, smoothing my hand over my face in frustration. “Why do you even want to go back there? What’s so great about your life?”

“Hey! I like my life.”

“Do you?” I raised an eyebrow.

Ivy closed her arms over her chest, glaring at me. “Yes.”

“Because it seems like you’re alone. No family, no friends. Living by yourself…” I scrunched my nose, realizing I’d just described my life, too.

Why would I ever want to go back to that after finding her?

“I have friends,” she said, offended. “Besides, what else would I do? Stay here ?”

“Why not?” I asked, my voice quiet. Why couldn’t she imagine it?

“Teddy.” She looked shocked. “You can’t be serious. What would I even do here?”

“You belong here.” With her family. With me.

Ivy shook her head. “Do I? Because it all feels too good to be true. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Honestly… I’m scared. Terrified .”

“You never have to be scared of me, sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Her eyes were glassy. “How do you know that? You can’t. Just like my parents…” She shook her head. “I can’t lose anyone else. Not again.”

I ran my hand down her hair. “You can’t live your life like that, Ivy. Protecting your heart from hurt… It also keeps you from experiencing love, too.”

And I knew I was falling in love with her. That I had been. But the clock was ticking. I only had one week left with her.

But if she didn’t love me back, if she left… That would be it.It would be over.

And I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing that this wasn’t enough for her. That I wasn’t enough for her. Because it wasn’t just sex for me or about her list. It never had been.

“Poison Ivy,” I murmured, twirling a piece of her hair around my finger. “Just give me a chance, okay? Give us a chance.”

She nodded.

“Come on,” I said, tugging her hand.

“Where are we going?” She raised an eyebrow.

Looking out the window, I pointed at the snow. “Outside. We’re long overdue for building that snowman.”

Hours later, I sat at my desk in the workshop, staring at the corkboard in my office. All of my plans, everything I’d been working so hard to achieve all of these years… and suddenly, it didn’t feel like any of them mattered.

All I could think about was her.

Ivy, sleeping in my bed. Ivy, the way she looked each morning when she opened her eyes, a sleepy smile curled over her face when she saw me. Ivy, who I’d left to wrap Christmas presents because she’d shooed me out to wrap in secret.

Ivy, who I couldn’t imagine my life without.

There was a black velvet box in my top desk drawer, something I’d picked up on the way here, but was it crazy?

Maybe what was crazier was the idea that I would give all of this up in a heartbeat if she didn’t want to stay. That I’d follow her anywhere she wanted to go. I didn’t need to follow in dad’s footsteps someday. What I needed was Ivy. Her laugh. Her smile. Those beautiful blue eyes locked on mine.

Losing myself in her, in her body, every night. The future I couldn’t stop dreaming of.

It was too soon, and yet, how could I think of anything else?

“Son.” He rapped his knuckles against the doorframe. My dad’s warm, booming voice filtered into the room, and I looked up in surprise from my desk.

“Hey, Dad.”

“What are you still doing here? Everyone else went home hours ago.” He was wearing a red snowflake patterned sweater with a pair of black pants, and despite his hair being completely white, he was still in pretty good shape for his age. Of course, he had to be.

I shrugged, tugging at the dark green sweater around my neck. “It’s busy season.” There were a million things to get done, and he knew it. “Trying to finish up these reports.” Plus, I’d been finishing my proposals for the park. Christmasland was important to Ivy, which made it even more important to me.

My dad frowned. “Teddy…”

“I know, I know.” I let out a sigh. “It’s just…” Things were moving so fast. Too fast for Ivy? Because I knew in my heart it wasn’t too fast for me. Not when she’d be gone in a week if I didn’t do something different.

I ran my thumb over the snowflake earrings I’d gotten her at the market. The ones that matched that pendant she wore around her neck.

The perfect gift to show her how she belonged here. Her dream all along had been a family, and she had that here, right?

He cleared his throat, distracting me from my train of thought. “You’re different,” my father mused.

“Huh?”

“With her. You’re different with her. Happier.”

I couldn’t deny that. “I care about her. A lot.” It was too soon to say the l-word, even if I was feeling it. I didn’t trust my emotions yet. I let out a groan as I let my head fall back against the chair. “But… What if she doesn’t want to stay? What if she doesn’t want me, Dad?”

“Your mother was like that too,” he chuckled. “Even though we’d been dating for some time, when I told her the truth of who I was… she broke up with me. Told me I was crazy . That I’d manipulated her feelings. All the things I’d done for her, well… it was a long road to where we are now, but it was worth it. She was worth it.” He gave a contented sigh, running his fingers over his white beard, and then his gaze sharpened to me. “So don’t mess this up. Don’t let her go, Teddy.”

“I don’t want to. But it’s different with us. She belongs here.”

“That she does.” He nodded. “I’m glad I pushed you two kids together. Without that, you might never have met.”

“Wait.” I froze. “Dad.” Letting out a slow groan, I stared over at him. “You’ve known all along who she was. Did you have me bring her here so that I could date her?”

That was fucked up. I never would have agreed if I’d realized he was just trying to marry me off. Had he realized it that very first phone call?

“Oh.” He did his best to look innocent. “Not exactly .”

“ Dad.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you up to? ”

“Nothing.” He whistled, running his hands over his white beard. My father had a sly expression on his face.

I glared at him. Leaning my head back against the chair, I looked up at the ceiling. Should I have just let her be?

No. I couldn’t stand seeing the Christmas Spirit ruined, and the North Pole was her home. I’d make her see it.

That was what my plan had been all along. To make her fall in love with it, and then maybe she’d be convinced to stay. And if not, I’d take her back to her empty, crappy apartment in Florida. What was left for her there?

I just had to make her believe in us.

I closed the book in front of me, feeling a new resolve. “Alright, well, I’m going to go home.” Standing up, I moved to grab my coat.

“If you give her your heart, Teddy, I promise you won’t regret it.”

I shook my head. “How can you be so sure? What if I give it to her, and she gives it right back?”

I didn’t know how I’d survive.

It was funny because I told her the same thing earlier. That she couldn’t hold herself back from experiencing love because she was scared. Was I doing that?

“Love is always a risk, Theodore. But it’s worth it.” A smile curled over my dad’s face. “You’ll see.”

I groaned, but maybe he was right.

Because Ivy… Ivy was definitely worth it.