Chapter 4

Islammed the cabinet shut and would have smashed the mug into the counter if it wouldn"t shatter. My goal wasn"t to break it, it was only to get a little aggression out. I needed a release.

It wasn"t the one I wanted, but that was what was available to me unless I wanted to hit the gym with Lake.

"Did you speak to Parker?" Joaquin asked Lake as he slid eggs onto his plate. He"d already made almost a dozen for the rest of us, including Beasty who hadn"t come down yet.

The others didn"t think she would.

But I knew different.

She would, because if nothing else, she was curious.

"No," Lake grunted.

I missed whatever he muttered under his breath as I poured hot water in my mug and grabbed a tea bag. I loved coffee, but tea was my preferred drink when I had a little too much anger swirling inside me.

Coffee only added to my rage, giving me a jittery sort of nervousness.

Tea leveled me out, letting me focus all my energy on whatever outlet I desired with a calmer and steadier head.

When I turned around, all three of my favorite assholes were seated at the table. Beasty"s plate was even placed between Kim and Lake.

We didn"t really have assigned seats, but since Beasty came back, they stuck to the same spots in case it made her feel more comfortable. Just like them, I claimed my place next to Joaquin.

She didn"t need comfort. She needed to be pushed.

"I think he wants to avoid phone calls with us while our lines are most likely tapped," Lake finished as he stretched back in his chair.

"Smart of him," Kim added snidely as he stabbed his breakfast.

"Any issues on the news about the club having an unplanned closure?" I flicked a glance at Lake. He was our news man. Constantly worried about what would pop up, what wouldn"t.

It was a terrible job and I was glad he was the one to do it and not me.

His nose crinkled like he got a giant whiff of shit. "The contrary. It looks like today we"ll have record breaking numbers, which is saying something since our grand opening was a blow out. While our arrests weren"t public, some kind of word has gotten out, and now we"re even more exotic to the general public, and I think the celebs are salivating for a chance at a dangerous thrill. Like they don"t know there are criminals in the private rooms." He rolled his eyes.

Kim set his fork down, tucked his hands in his lap and stared at his plate. After a minute, he glanced up, meeting each of our gazes. "What are we going to do about Beasty? If we"re not careful, she"ll get scared away by our fame."

Not our fame, but Kim wasn"t wrong.

How Beasty handled the truth yesterday...

I didn"t like it. She acted like she was some uptight priss who didn"t understand why we did the things we did.

"She"s not leaving." Lake sounded damn sure.

Joaquin raised a brow giving him that sexy, cocky look I loved so much. "You"re sure? Because at this point, the only thing I"m sure about is that you"re a damn idiot."

Grinding his jaw, Lake sat forward, ready to lay into Joaquin, but Beasty prowled into the kitchen stealing all of our attention.

This morning she was wearing a pair of old ratty jeans and a crop top. Nothing that we"d supplied her closet with. Her hair was a wild, tousled mess.

I couldn"t look away from her if I tried.

"Good morning, Beasty." Lake acted like he was some refined pompous ass, not the guy who literally beheaded someone for doing nothing more than sticking his dick in Beasty.

I laughed under my breath. Sure, Kim, or Joaquin could argue that it was because he placed Beasty in danger. But we all knew better. It didn"t matter who it was. If they touched her, Lake would kill them. And if he didn"t, we would.

Since the day she walked up to that godforsaken chain-link fence, she was ours. She would always be ours no matter what she did or said or wanted.

If Beasty didn"t have such a hold on my attention, I would have glanced at Kim. He could come across as sweet, but our Kim had a dark side.

Our feisty girl didn"t say one word back. With her face set in harsh lines, she moved around the kitchen making coffee like she owned the place. It was an aphrodisiac to see her so comfortable here. One I didn"t need, but loved nonetheless.

"Beasty," I called.

She ignored me.

Of course, she did. Why would we expect anything different? When she asked for the truth yesterday, Lake gave it to her. To Joaquin"s horror, he told her what he had done to that asshat.

Taking it all in, she watched him with a blank stare until he finished, then she shut her door in our faces, leaving us in the hallway like we were gum under her shoes that she couldn"t even be bothered to scrape off.

Shit, I had to stop replaying that memory in my head or I was going to do something to piss the guys off. I gritted my teeth so hard, they were going to crack.

"Beasty," I called again, twisting in my seat.

Her shoulders stiffened, but that was the only sign that she heard me.

No, no. That wouldn"t do at all.

The tension in my jaw radiated out through my body as I pushed myself up from my chair. Beasty was ours, and she wasn"t going to leave.

I didn"t give a fuck if she liked what Lake did or not. What I did care about was being ignored, discarded like I didn"t matter. That wasn"t the game I played with Beasty and I found I didn"t like her version at fuck all.

"Atlas," Joaquin warned under his breath.

That didn"t deserve an answer either.

I moved around the island on silent feet until I reached Beasty. She was facing the corner, spooning sugar into her coffee. When my shadow fell over her, she froze.

This was better.

I could work with this reaction. Any fucking reaction really, as long as she didn't pretend I didn't exist.

Pressing my palms against the counter on either side of her, I leaned in and gently rubbed my cheek against her hair. "You"re not ignoring me, are you, Beasty?" I breathed out, continuing the short movements.

The last two fingers of her left hand rapidly tapped against the counter before she froze the movement.

"What do you want me to say, Atlas?" Her words were bland while her tone was angry. Beasty flattened her hands against the counter.

So slender and pale compared to mine. I covered her hands, threading my fingers between hers, locking her in place.

"How about start with a good morning? You grew up the same way we did. Doesn"t it hurt not to be acknowledged?"

"Wrong thing to say..." I heard from behind me. It was a muffled whisper but I"d bet it was Kim. It didn"t matter. I had Beasty right where I wanted her.

I stumbled back as Beasty shoved away from the counter. I caught my balance on the island behind me as she spun around, loose pieces of her hair flying in a halo around her.

She was pissed and the only thing it did was make me want to fuck her mouth. It would be a better use than whatever bullshit she was about to spew.

"Yes, Atlas. I know all about the loneliness of not being acknowledged. You know why?" She took a step forward and jabbed a finger at me, then at the guys. "Because you four did it to me my entire fucking life!" Beasty screamed.

Her chest rose and fell in exaggerated movements as a flush started to climb up her neck.

I blinked, then glared. I explained this to her. Our entire childhoods we thought she was too good for us. That we didn"t deserve to breathe the same air. That wasn"t us ignoring her outright. Hell, she was my entire fucking reason for existing.

Before I could argue my point, she kept going.

"All I ever wanted was to be with you four." Her voice dropped low, and somehow, her calmness after such an outburst seemed louder. "That was it. I wanted to be your friend. Hoped to be your lover. To matter." Beasty"s voice cracked.

She brushed strands of hair out of her face with the back of her hand. "I know now that I mattered. But it doesn"t change the fact that you hurt me. That you four ignored me over and over again because you were all too much of cowards to talk to me. But you know what else hurts?"

Beasty moved another step closer.

Her hands flew toward my chest and I caught her wrists, yanking her into me.

"That you all are fucking low-life criminals," she snarled.

At first her words didn"t register. Then a blistering heat rushed from the top of my head, encompassing my body like a rush of lava. I shoved her away. "What the fuck does that mean?" I spewed.

One of the guys came up to my back.

Lake. Without turning, I could feel him breathing next to my ear.

She glared at me, but when her gaze shifted to Lake, the anger cooled to something I couldn"t pin my finger on.

Shaking her head, she backed up a step, then another before she turned and raced from the room.

Kim was halfway through the door when he halted. His shoulders rose with each shaky inhale.

"Fucking bitch," I muttered, but I didn"t mean it. As much as I hated knowing Beasty wasn"t who I thought she was, I loved seeing her as human. Approachable. Reachable.

"Good going, Atlas," Joaquin grunted as he brushed by Kim.

After one pained glance back, Kim left too, leaving me with Lake.

"I"m not letting her run away this time. The last time was a mistake," Lake said over his shoulder as he moved to make another cup of coffee.

The heat in my chest was leveling off, melting into something pricklier, like an anticipation under my skin that was biding its time. One last look at Lake, then I left, searching for Beasty.

I took the stairs two at a time.

What did Beasty think would happen? That we"d let her storm off? Sulk in her feelings?

The old compulsion reared its head and I didn"t even try to ignore it. When we"d been kids, it had been impossible to think of anything else but Beasty.

Was she okay? Did she need us?

Even when I knew she was perfectly safe, I had these thoughts swirling around in my head.

What was she doing? Who was she talking to? What would it be like just to be close enough to smell her.

She never talked to people much. She had been a loner. Studying the world with bright, judging eyes, but still oblivious to so much around her.

Beasty had never even suspected I"d been watching her. I didn"t give a damn what she said, she had no idea how many times I was there watching.

The door to her bedroom was shut. Without knocking, I twisted the doorknob and eased it open. The hinges were perfectly oiled, allowing me to enter silently.

I paused, waiting for some kind of noise to let me know where she was in the room. There was nothing but silence.

Then, when I stepped inside, I paused.

Sunlight streamed through the windows, making the dove gray and navy colors bright and enchanting. Beasty"s favorite colors.

Kim had done a good job working with the decorator.

The bathroom door was open and no sounds were coming from inside. Beasty hadn"t come to her room.

My first instinct was to go and find her but the stronger urge was to be in her space. That she wasn"t here made it sweeter. How many times had I watched her as a kid, wondering what her room looked like?

I"d only barely restrained myself from staring into her window to see for myself. If I"d been caught doing that, I"d have been arrested and sent to juvie. There were too many cards stacked against me not to get harsh punishment for that particular crime.

Joaquin and the others would have been pissed. I couldn"t do that to them, so that was the one limit I"d given myself.

But now, while Beasty was being such a little brat, I reveled in the privacy of her space.

I hoped she enjoyed her time away, because she"d never get that again.

My footsteps hardly made any noise as I padded toward her dresser. Her ratty old napsack sat next to it, half open with a T-shirt spilling out.

I pulled open the drawers. Artfully seductive lingerie was arranged in the top drawer, and it seemed as if she"d touched none of it. Then I opened the second drawer, and the third.

Beasty wasn"t wearing anything we"d bought for her.

Well, outside of the outfits she wore to Snatched. Beasty probably only did that to avoid standing out.

As much as she put on a front about being who she was, there was a part of her that wanted to fit in. Maybe to blend in.

She may not have been who I thought she was, but I still knew her. I"d seen the longing in her eyes as she watched friend groups laugh and cut up together. I"d witnessed the uncertainty on her face when she"d look at what others wore and then glance down at herself.

The girl was gorgeous in an unconventional way. She"d never fit in. And she shouldn"t want to. She should want to put all those assholes in their places and be who she was. Unapologetically.

I touched the edge of her pillow, shifted it to the side, and froze. I recognized that scarf.

"What the hell do you think you"re doing?" Beasty snapped from the door.

Glancing over my shoulder, I smirked at the irate glimmer in her eyes. "You want me to answer that?"

"Stop being a creep and get out of my space."

What a fucking bitch. So nasty with her insults. A ball of tension in my chest released. Each time Beasty did something I didn"t expect, she got closer and closer to our level.

She wasn"t perfect. She could be crass and hurtful with her words. And I wanted to hurt her right back.

"You"re breaking your promise, Beasty." I turned but noticed her pet case. I hadn"t made it that far into the room yet. Quilliam was sleeping already and nowhere to be seen.

"You can shove your promises up your ass. I never made any." She stomped past me and rearranged her pillow to cover the scarf. When she was satisfied, she crouched by Quilliam"s enclosure and ran her finger softly over the clear plastic.

"You said you wanted to stay, and you"d do anything to make me happy to prove it. Did you forget?" I goaded her on purpose. Beasty was proving to be just as much fun to rile as Joaquin. Maybe even more fun because I"d thirsted after this girl my entire life.

She choked and it put delicious images in my head. "I think Lake"s and Joaquin"s arrests wipe out any leverage you had." There was a note in her voice like she didn"t think we deserved it anymore.

Grinding my teeth, I moved behind her, and ran my hand over the back of her head before cupping the nape of her neck. She tensed, but didn"t shrug me off.

Bending over, I brushed my lips across the shell of her ear as I slid my thumb up and down. "You should still want to make me happy. But don"t worry. You don"t want us to hide, and I have every intention of showing you who we really are. It will be more enjoyable for you, if you want to make me happy."

Then I walked out, leaving a huffing Beasty on the floor.