Chapter 27

"Are you seriously asking this?" Joaquin whispered over the table.

I sniffed. "Beasty"s been with us six months today. We should celebrate."

"No." He shut the conversation down so hard, his teeth probably rattled. Atlas next to him raised one brow as he glanced between us.

"What did you want to do?"

I bounced in my seat. "I thought we could all go out to a nice dinner."

Atlas shook his head. "No, people recognize us too easily now. You remember the mall."

Licking my lips, I ignored the churning in my gut. I"d had nightmares about that. Strangers trying to touch me. I wasn"t sure how I managed it on the job, except I was prepared for it. I expected it. I was compensated for it.

In public, people just wanted to take because they thought they could. It made me break out into a nervous sweat just thinking about it.

"What can we do then?" I dropped back and thumped against the chair. "We can order baked spaghetti. Of all the things Beasty eats, that"s what she eats the most of."

"Why not get something nice? Like something from Atelier?" With his arm around Joaquin"s chair, Atlas played with the ends of his hair.

I loved that they were starting to get more comfortable with Beasty here. When she first came, you wouldn"t know they were friends much less lovers. Like they were afraid of what Beasty would think.

"No, that won"t work. You remember that one event we did and they served fancy stuff? Beasty ended up spitting it out in the corner when she thought no one was looking. She hates fine dining." I tapped my chin.

"Maybe we can do a movie night." Atlas raised his brows at Joaquin.

"We"re not doing a movie night." Joaquin scrunched his face. "We"re not friends like that. We promised to take care of her. Not to be her besties. That"s what you"re for." He smirked to soften his words and it worked. But I knew him better than he thought and I knew how hard this was for them.

Beasty and I were going at a glacial pace. Kisses mostly and some heavy petting. It wasn't that I didn't want to go further, and I think she did. I just enjoyed the ride.

It was nice. More than nice. Perfect.

"You really won"t do something nice with me?" I sighed. These guys could be asses. I"d already tried to get Lake on board and he wouldn"t budge either, stating he didn"t think she liked them like that.

Like what? People?

Joaquin pinched his lips together and looked at Atlas. Atlas met his stare with a calculating one of his own.

"Fine, we"ll order in her favorite meal. Once we eat, we"ll leave you two alone. Don"t force what isn"t there," Atlas warned.

I grinned. "I don"t know what you"re talking about."

Of course, I knew what they were talking about. They treated Beasty like she was poison, but really pretty poison. They liked to watch the way she shimmered in the sun, or lounged around our apartment in this case, but they were frightened of getting anywhere near her.

Wait. That was a terrible analogy. They were the poison and they didn"t want her near them. But we weren"t like that. Beasty wasn"t like that. The guys just needed to come to terms with it.

The front door shut then Lake came around the corner into the kitchen. His hair was soaked from his run. He took one look at us and frowned. "What"s going on?"

"We"re doing a nice dinner for Beasty. Today"s the six-month anniversary since she"s been with us." I preened, even as his expression grew darker.

"Is that so?" he asked Joaquin and Atlas.

"Apparently." Joaquin glanced up at him.

"Shit." Lake scrubbed his brow as he retreated from the kitchen.

This wasn"t awkward at all.

We sat around the table picking at our food. I"d carried the conversation a little bit, but Beasty seemed uncomfortable, and the guys had no idea how to talk with her if it didn't include, don"t worry about him, he"s an asshole; or we"ll be leaving in a minute; or even Kim really wanted you to stay in this spot so people leave you alone.

"Atlas, tell Beasty about that time you fell into the Komodo dragon enclosure." I pointed my fork at him across from me.

He gave me a half-lidded look that wasn"t impressed.

"Really?" Beasty asked, cutting into her spaghetti.

"Yes, he"s always had a thing for lizards." I snapped my lips shut. It was just second nature. But I took a breath. I didn"t want to do this with Beasty. I wanted her to see the real us.

"That"s cool." She peaked at Atlas from under her lashes. If the lighting was better, I"d say she was blushing. I wasn"t sure if I liked that or not. "What"s your favorite?"

Atlas cleared his throat. "The gecko."

"The gecko? I thought you liked the iguana because they have a cool spine going down its back?" Joaquin shoved a bite in his mouth and grinned at Atlas.

"No, you"re wrong. He never liked the iguana. It was always the gecko. He had a thing for the one on TV that wore khakis." Lake caught my eye and winked.

They were playing along for me. It worked because Beasty lost some of her unease. As much as they were scared of her, she was rigid when they were around too. Like she was afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing.

"You know, at this one foster home I lived at, there was this blue fat lizard that hung out on the steps. I used to talk to him sometimes." She smiled wistfully, not noticing the dour looks we tossed around the table.

I didn"t know about the guys, but I"d like to forget Beasty was ever in a different home than ours.

There was a knock on the door. Rapid. Like someone was in a hurry.

Lake excused himself and like magnets drawn to his back, we all watched him leave. Joaquin and Beasty were both chewing their current bites.

"Hey." It was one of Lake"s sources.

"I told you not to come here," Lake returned, keeping his voice low. Only the apartment was so small, we could all hear what he was saying, even if we couldn"t see him.

"This is about that package that Joaquin sourced. It"s going to take some greasing, or some sneaking, but we can ge–"

"I think I heard my name." Joaquin stood and tossed his napkin on the table.

Their conversation stalled, and then Joaquin said, "Let"s take this conversation to the hall."

Beasty was so focused on the bits of conversation as the door closed, it seemed she was trying to see through the wall. A frown tugged her lips down on both sides and her eyebrows went up in the middle. Not in a sad way, but one that spoke of concentration.

It was a cute look.

Yet, I still had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Atlas didn"t seem to notice because he kept eating and sneaking his own glances at Beasty. But to him, he just seemed happy to watch her, not really caring what look was on her face, or what it meant.

"Beasty, can you believe you"ve been here for six months?" I asked, smiling.

She tried to return the smile, but it was brittle and forced. "It"s crazy." The door closed again, and she shot a look to the entrance of the dining room.

Lake and Joaquin walked back in like nothing had happened. They took their seats, and picked up their forks.

"Are you doing something illegal?" Beasty flat out asked.

"Absolutely not." Lake set his fork back down and faced her.

Atlas and Joaquin were slower to set down their forks, but I just held mine suspended in air. Would we really be able to keep Beasty forever if we didn"t let her into at least some of our lives?

She squinted one eye. Beasty didn"t believe a word that came out of his mouth. I didn"t blame her, Lake was a terrible liar.

"Beasty, why would you think–" I started.

"I saw the money exchange at the mall. I"ve seen other things too. I–" Sucking in a deep breath, she let it out slowly. "Please tell me you"re not doing anything dangerous." She leaned to the side, toward Lake, like she was trying to get across just how serious she was.

"We"re not doing anything we shouldn"t be doing. That"s the truth," Lake said softly.

Studying him with hard eyes, she nodded. "Good. Because I couldn"t stay here if you were." Her voice shook as she held his gaze, then met Atlas" stare, then Joaquin"s and finally mine. "I can"t live like I grew up."

We couldn"t tell her. She"d leave and just the thought of her not being here when I woke up in the morning tore me to shreds.

I wanted her here when I went to bed. When I was done with a job.

I needed her.

My hand started trembling so hard, I laid my fork gently across the plate. I"d only eaten half, but I couldn"t eat anymore.

Joaquin caught my eye and then nudged Atlas. "You once asked about college. Is that something you still want to do?"

If Beasty was caught off guard, she didn"t show it. Nodding, she shifted in her seat. "Actually, I think I"d rather just get a job. I"ve been here for a long time now and I feel like I"m taking advantage." She bit her lip.

"You"re not taking advantage." Lake wiped his mouth with his napkin. "We"re happy to take care of you while you figure out what you want to do."

This time she didn"t just frown but a line appeared between her brows. "I just..." Beasty glanced at the ceiling as if she was trying to find the right words. "I just need to feel like I can do this myself. At least a little bit. A job would help."

"What do you want to do?" Atlas asked, his gaze locked on her as he made lazy circles on the table with his fingers.

She shrugged, seemingly forgetting her comment from a few minutes ago. I was glad she could. But I couldn"t. It was the only thing running through my head.

"Maybe I could apply at the gas station on the corner or the grocery store. I don"t know what else I could do." She avoided their gazes and she put the next bite in her mouth.

"Also a hell no," Lake snapped.

"Lake," I hissed. He was going to make her want to leave us.

"No, Kim. I have to keep all of you safe. You"re my family and that"s my fucking goal in life. I can"t keep Beasty safe at a gas station." His top lip curled, showing exactly what he thought of people who worked at gas stations. Or maybe not them, but Beasty. "It"s beneath her."

Definitely about Beasty.

"It"s not beneath me," she murmured.

"It is. I"ll put the word out with some of our contacts and see what"s available in a place that"s appropriate."

She didn"t say anything.

That was where conversation died. Each bite took us closer to the end of dinner, and the closer we got, the worse my thoughts. Reaching under the table, I cupped my hand over hers, and she smiled over at me.

It was tiny, but her attention gave me some confidence back. Except when we were clearing the table, all the desperation came back again.

"We"ll clean up," Lake said, taking Beasty"s plate from her hands.

"No, I can–"

"You do too much already. Let Atlas do the dishes. He needs to prove he"s more than just a pretty face." Joaquin joked, his gaze darting to me before smiling at Beasty. "Go hang out with Kim."

I could do this. It was nothing.

"Do you want to watch a movie in my room?" I held my breath as she startled. I"d never had her in my room before. We"d always watch movies in the living room. It just seemed like a lot. And I enjoyed being with her where the guys could see her if they went out or to the kitchen.

If she was in my room all the time, they"d never see her, and I couldn"t do that to them.

But now, I needed her in my space. I needed reassurance.

"Sure."

"Go on, we got this," Joaquin urged. Then the three of them started cleaning up.

I reached out and took her hand, leading her to my room. Did she say something? I glanced back, but she wasn"t looking at me. Maybe I imagined it. The pounding of my heart was all I really heard anyway.

Inside my room, I flipped the switch.

It was neat. I wasn"t a messy person, but my bed wasn"t made. "Yeah, so...this is it." I turned to see Beasty staring at the door. "Close it?" I asked.

She nodded and shut it.

Then we stood there, facing each other. Time was suspended in this moment. If she thought about the conversation at dinner, she hid it well. But there was still a wrongness in her expression.

If I could, I would freeze us here. Stop her from asking more questions. Stopping us from lying to her anymore.

I don"t know what happened between one blink and the next. One second I stood there, wondering how to make her stay, and the next, she was in my arms, our lips locked together in a sweet, sensual tangle.

For the first time, I let my hands glide down her back without checking with her first. She was soft and molded so perfectly against me. Tilting my head to the right, I deepened the kiss as my breath quickened.

Yes, Beasty wanted me just as much as I wanted her. When we were like this, nothing was wrong between us.

I hardened and my entire body tingled, but most especially the places where our skin touched.

Sliding one hand under her shirt, she stopped me. "Wait, what are we doing?" she rasped, and it stroked my ego to know how much I affected her.

"Beasty." I kissed her again, catching her top lip between mine. "I want you." I kissed her yet again, this time sucking her bottom lip. She moaned softly against my mouth. "I...I"ve never been with anyone before. You know that?"

She nodded, watching me with wide eyes. "I know. Me neither. You"re my first kiss even."

I smiled, diving in to brush my lips along the corner of her mouth, then trailing a kiss to her neck. Gripping her hips, I urged her closer to me.

"I want you to be my first. I want to be your first. This is right, isn"t it, Beasty?"

I didn"t plan for this. It was so far from my mind as I enjoyed the slow burn. But after what she said...

Her breathing was loud as she held me just as tightly. I couldn"t pull back and see her face, just in case she said no. But I wanted this with her so bad. To seal us together, so I was a part of her forever. Seared into her memories like she was burned into my soul.

"Please, Beasty..." I wasn"t above begging. But if she said no, I"d stop. I would never ever force her. Just the thought gave me chills.

There was no answer. That was my answer.

I pulled back and Beasty cupped my face, looking between my eyes. The emerald flecks in her own were so mesmerizing.

"You really want me?"

How could she doubt that?

"More than anything," I breathed. "More than everything." I needed her in a way I had never needed anything else and I wished I could burn every second of this in my memory. Especially the way it was remaking my very being.

"Okay," she nodded, kissing me. "Okay, yes. I want you too. I want you so much."

My chest expanded.

I stripped her shirt off, then her pants while she worked on my shirt, then my pants, all between passionate, sweet kisses. We fell into my bed in a tangle of limbs, laughing.

The light was bright, highlighting all our skin, and I didn"t care. I wanted Beasty to see me. I wanted to remember everything about this moment.

Sitting back, I took a second to really see her. Creamy skin with a smattering of freckles across her chest and shoulders was on display. She had gentle feminine curves. But it was her expression that always drew me back in.

Her brows furrowed as if she didn't like the wait, and her teeth made indents in her bottom lip as she studied my body too.

Thousands of people had seen me because of modeling. Backstage, during shows, in commercials, and ads. But here with Beasty, it was like the first time I'd stripped in front of anyone.

The way her gaze roamed my torso and down to my dick built an unparalleled confidence inside me. My shoulders pulled back and my chest puffed out. But that was enough of this. I wanted to make Beasty feel good.

With me. In my arms. Bending down, I traced my tongue around her nipple, excited from her whimpers. She spread her legs and cupped my shoulders. I rose back up and settled my hips between her open thighs.

Beasty gazed at me with such beautiful, half-lidded eyes. We were high on each other and suddenly, all my fears vanished. There was just her and me enjoying each other the way people in love were meant to.

Reaching down, I slid my fingers through her slit and my eyes rolled back in my head.

She was wet. For me.

"I–Beasty–I don"t want to wait. Do you need–"

She slid her hands around my back, curling them over my shoulders, as she locked her ankles around my hips. "I don"t want to wait, Kim. I want to feel you," she whispered in a tortured voice, as if she was as desperate for this connection as I was.

"Oh, damn." I reached for the nightstand, grabbing a condom from the box Lake had given me, just in case.

It took three tries to get it on, my hands trembled too much.

We laughed, and when I glanced up, Beasty watched me with a soft smile.

My heartbeat slowed and pounded in my ears. We were going to make love. Beasty and me. Every hope for us I ever had ended and started right here.

She was mine. I was going to cherish her forever.

"I love you, Beasty," I choked out.

"I love you too, Kim." She pressed her fingertips to my chest, then trailed them down. "I know you don"t like to be touched, but I love touching you like this."

"Not you, Beasty. You don"t count. I want your hands on me all the time."

She furrowed her brow like she didn"t believe me, but I didn"t give her time to think. I adjusted myself, then leaned over her, pushing my hips forward just enough to get the head in.

Beasty was hot and wet, I could feel everything through the thin latex.

When she didn"t move, I pushed further, a slight gasp falling from her lips.

"Are you okay?" I asked, strained.

"It"s perfect, Kim." She cupped my cheek, and looked so deep into my soul I forgot to breathe.

"You"re perfect, Beasty."

"Only to you." She grinned.

"I"m the only one who matters." Just like Lake said to do, I snapped my hips forward, drinking in her cry through a kiss. I waited until she relaxed.

It was torture. It was exquisite.

Once she returned my kiss, I started to move. I was only three pumps in and the orgasm was coming.

"No, no."

"What"s wrong?" Beasty asked, her brows furrowing in that way I loved.

"I need you to come." I found her clit, massaging tight circles. Then I dipped to gather some of her wetness to glide easier across that sensitive bundle of nerves. Her breath quickened, and she started to rock her hips.

Good. This was a good sign.

She had to get there. I wasn"t going to last long.

Close, she was so close. She whimpered and her breath continued to catch. Moving her hands to my neck, her fingers flexed and bit into my skin.

Just when I couldn"t stave off my own pleasure anymore, she clamped around me and cried out. Her head dropped back as her eyes fell closed. She was the vision of acute and rapturous pleasure.

One pump. Two. Then with a broken gasp, I stayed planted on the third. Careful not to crush Beasty, I rested my weight over her, our sweat soaked skin cooling in the open air.

"Nothing matters more than you, Beasty. You"re the most important person in the world to me." Pushing my face into her neck, I mouthed, "To all of us."

She traced small circles on my back, and before I knew it, I was asleep in her arms.