Chapter 25

The room swirled, bouncing colors of bright white and gold lights danced around me.

Fuck. I used both hands to rub my eyes. How was I supposed to play cards like this?

I blinked. Then blinked a couple more times in rapid succession. I think that was a five of diamonds and a two of spades. Wait. There were two of the twos. When I reached out to touch the card, there were two of my hand. I wasn"t using both hands.

Holding them up, I nodded. Right, I had four hands now, so there was only one two.

"He"s done."

I didn"t need to turn to recognize Lake"s voice. The snake.

He thought he could just barrel over us whenever he wanted and we"d fall in line? Fuck him.

Fuck him right up the ass with a fork. Nah, that bastard would enjoy that too much. He"d ask for more just to feel that bite of pain.

"Of course, sir." The attendant bowed his head. There were two of him too.

"I"m en ownah too.." Okay, I was plastered. It was time for me to quit. Lake didn"t give me a chance to speak my realizations out loud as he hauled me up by my arm.

"Stop," he growled in my ear. "You"re making a scene and you are an owner. That means people here know you and will remember you."

The words were familiar, but they didn"t penetrate the thick wall of vodka-soaked cotton surrounding my brain. I should write them down, then I could figure them out later.

"Do ya ave a pen?" I turned my face up toward his.

He didn"t glance down at me, keeping his gaze straight ahead with a fierce expression on his face. Once we were in the office, I tried to recount our steps here, but there were none. I was pretty sure I floated.

That or Lake carried me bridal style. Either was possible.

He slammed the door shut. I glanced down and found my ass in a chair. Made sense.

The room trembled as Lake stomped like an elephant until he reached the wet bar, then he poured a drink. Interesting that he"d want to drink after yelling at me. But whatever, I wasn"t his keeper.

Then a glass appeared in front of my face. "Open," he demanded.

My mouth popped open on command, and he shoved a couple pills in my mouth. "Drink."

The glass was pressed against my lower lip and cool bubbly liquid flowed inside as I tipped my head back.

Once the pills were gone, he set the glass down and pointed to it with three fingers. "Finish that."

"I don"t lie sparkling watah," I argued, just to be an ass. If I had to deal with his asshole ways, he had to deal with mine.

"Drink it." He was so sure I was going to listen.

There was a headache starting to form at the edges of my mind. The medicine would help, but I"d drank enough alcohol in my life to know that hydrating myself was the best chance I had at not feeling like a total bag of shit the next day.

He busied himself at his desk while I sat there nursing my water. An unmentionable amount of time passed, mostly because I had no fucking idea what time Lake brought me in here. The only thing I did know was that with each step down the drunk ladder, my mood became sourer and sourer.

Images of Beasty across from me, telling me we were following the cycle, plastered themselves right in front of my eyes.

Then images of Beasty"s face as I tossed cash on the table. Then Beasty two nights ago as she ran upstairs.

Best part? A sprinkling of Gates" ugly face was mixed in with it too. I glared at Lake across the room. How the hell was he blocking it out right now? I didn't need to ask. I knew the answer.

Let something else hurt and the original hurt is forgotten.

Great advice except I couldn"t control my brain any more than I could control my way with numbers. It was just there, a part of me all the goddamned time. I looked at objects and saw ratios, I saw numbers and picked out patterns.

When something had the smallest reminder of my childhood, there was Gates" face over me.

I wished like hell that I was more like Lake, fucked up kink and all. It would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with than constantly being tempted to stab forks through my eyes.

My stomach rolled with each aching second. Standing, I had to use two fingers on my desk to make sure I didn"t topple over. Once I was good, I refilled my glass at the wet bar.

"Are you back?" Lake was pissed. He didn"t even deign a look my way. He watched his computer, giving me the back of his head.

"I never fucking left. That"s the problem," I grumbled and stumbled my way back over to my desk.

Now that the glow of a drunken stupor was fading, I was hollow inside and my feelings on the floor. This fucking sucked. But the short escape of a few minutes or a few hours was worth it.

Who knew? Maybe I"d hit the bottle as soon as Lake said whatever fucked up piece he had to say.

"Beasty has barely come out of her room." This time he spoke so conversationally, like he was telling me about his favorite cane.

As much as I wanted to block it out, his words were a punch in the gut. "You think it"s my fault."

"I know it"s your fault. You were the one who left her in that fucking diner." He spun in his chair and stabbed his finger on his desk. Heat had already climbed up his neck and jaw, making his hair appear even brighter. "And you were the one who spewed bullshit at her the other night. Now you want to hide out in the Gold Room, drinking, and gambling away your fucked upness?"

"You didn"t hear what she said to me!" I screamed, flinging the glass across the room. It shattered against the wall and the fizz added to the ear-splitting sound.

"Because you took her where there were no cameras!" He stood, bracing his fists on the desk and bunching his shoulders up like some kind of gorilla.

Since when did he turn in to fucking Atlas? "Are you obsessed now too? Fucking loser. She was feeling suffocated. I thought she"d want a few minutes away from you asswipes." I panted, my chest rising and falling rapidly. His nostrils flared and I stormed over to him. "She doesn"t want to be with us, Lake! She thinks we"re scum! Worse than scum! She thinks we"re just like Gates because of what we do! I can"t fucking–" I clenched my hair in my fists and screamed my frustrations to the ceiling. "I can"t fucking live like that. With someone who thinks of me like that, not after he...Not after..." Shit, I couldn"t even get the words out.

Lake shook his head one time. "You"re wrong. I don"t know what she said or how she said it–because she won"t talk to us–" He narrowed his eyes. "But Beasty would never fucking say that shit. You have to have misunderstood. Or she misspoke."

"You"re fucking wrong." I paced away a few steps. I didn"t have anything else to say to this motherfucker. I wanted to go back to the Gold Room. Drown my sorrows in a fucking bottle while I fleeced the house and other assholes out of insane sums of money.

Good times.

The keypad beeped, then the door swung open. Guy stood there with a grim frown slashed across his face.

"Boss, there"s been a news break that you need to know about, but I don"t think you should see."

Lake straightened up and steadied himself while smoothing his hand down his dress shirt. "What is it?"

Guy darted a quick glance at me before placing all his attention on Lake. "Maybe you should come to my office."

"Whatever it is, just spit it out. If it"s on the news, I"m going to know about it sooner or later." I waved a hand, still agitated.

He waited for Lake"s nod before he continued. "There"s been a video submitted to the national news outlet. It"s unclear where it originated from, but they showed a fragment on the evening news just now."

I froze, then tilted my head.

What video?

"Fuck!" Lake cursed, then he exploded into action, pulling up the news on his computer.

There were so many options of what a leaked video could be, and none of them good. Not for us or our image. Or our pockets. Hell, maybe it would be good for our pockets. I was half-tempted to talk to Lake about the release of our arrests.

People would flock to Snatched.

Lake pulled up a search, then read the screen, his eyes and lips furiously moving. Spinning, he punched the back wall as he bellowed. There wasn"t a beam there, so he just made a nice fist-size hole in the plaster.

Guy stepped inside and shut the door, leaning his back against it as he watched Lake.

Whatever the video was, I didn"t want to see it. Not if it pulled that kind of reaction from him. More sober than I wanted to be, I shuffled forward, my feet with a mind of their own.

I kept my head turned to the side, but my eyes were glued to the monitor. Each step brought me closer. And closer.

A grainy color video played, and my stomach rolled. Oh, shit. I recognized that wood paneling. That pillow on the floor.

And more than that, I recognized Atlas.

Then the clip ended, and I squeezed my eyes shut, baring my teeth.

No, no, no, no.

I couldn"t stop repeating that word in my head, like a broken loop I couldn"t break out of.

Were there more videos? Of me? Of fucking Kim? Of Lake?

How did anyone get those? And why release them now after all these years? Fucking, no, no, no.

More streams of that word. That fucking, fucking word.

Lake started raking his nails down his arms, then slammed his fist on his thigh. He screamed and raged, but somehow the sounds just got quieter and quieter.

Turning, I stared at the screens on the wall. The volume was off, and my vision was blurry. I could just make out the Gold Room. The main club floor. The entrance.

I needed to get out of here. The air was stale and a musty scent started to twine around me.

I just needed to leave. Once I had fresh air and a new bottle in my hand, I"d feel better.

In the next blink, I was in front of Guy. "Move," I demanded.

He started to shift, but it wasn"t fast enough. I slapped my hand on the wall by his head, the sting waking me up. "Fucking move!"

"Let him go," Lake said from behind me, a lot of his rage gone.

Guy almost dove out of the way, and I scanned my card to get out, then scanned it at the next door. I didn"t remember getting my card out, but I clenched it in my fist until the edges cut into my palm.

The wall art blurred as I headed toward the Gold Room, but my steps slowed as I reached the attendant. She started to swing the door open, but I raised a hand.

I couldn"t go in there. If that video was on the news, it would already be circling the masses. Those assholes would stare at me, and try to steal my money because they"d think I was fucked in the head.

I was fucked in the head, but the idea of letting them look at me turned my stomach even more.

"Mr. Amaya?" She asked as she held the door open.

Two men passed by and turned to stare at me.

I took a step back, then another, before turning and sprinting down the hall. I couldn"t be here. I wanted to be home with Atlas.

We needed to check on Kim too.

At the back entrance, one of our guys waited with an SUV. He opened the door, not saying a fucking word. Good. That was good. I couldn"t talk to anyone right now.

I climbed in the back and rested my head against the headrest. I must have dozed. In what seemed like three minutes, the door opened next to me.

Jerking up, all I saw was Atlas' young face before I wildly glanced around. Shit, I was back home. That was all.

"Thanks," I muttered as I rolled out of the vehicle. The house seemed dark, and when I opened the front door, it was deathly quiet.

Then I walked through the house, not really sure where I was heading.

In the living room, Beasty sat in the corner of the couch. No lights or anything, like she'd been waiting for someone. How long had she been there?

I tried to muster up the anger and betrayal I"d had for her a few hours ago, but it was gone, replaced with vile memories of my time before I knew her.

"Where"s Kim and Atlas?" I asked, rubbing at my chest, desperately trying to quell the pain of the past.

"Kim went to bed early and I don"t know where Atlas is." She stood, her brows dropping low over her eyes as she took a step toward. She was livid.

Then I understood.

They didn"t know. None of them knew about the video. I only knew because I was in the office with Lake.

I breathed a sigh of relief. It shouldn"t have made a difference. Except there seemed to be space around me now. A nice little bubble before everything burst.

I"d never handled this kind of shit well, and this was a small blessing.

"We need to talk," Beasty said, fury whipping through her voice. Even her chin was set in defiance.

Nodding, I removed my suit jacket then unbuttoned the top of my dress shirt. She wanted to fight, this was better than talking about the video. Then holding Kim together as he fell apart.

The one saving grace was that it was Atlas on the clip. He didn"t give a fuck about that kind of stuff. He showed his issues in other less damaging ways. Like attaching to Beasty.

"Talk." I stepped forward.

"I"m not your enemy." She tipped up her chin and took one more step forward. The pale blue moonlight fell in strips across her face, giving her a deadly, ethereal glow.

Beasty was strong. And fierce.

Sometimes, I think the only person who didn"t see it was her.

I snapped a hand out and fisted the hair at the back of her head, tugging back just enough to tip her face up. Her eyes flashed, and she dug her fingers into my ribs, trying to push me away.

But I held her still.

"Shh." I shook her hard. Beasty stopped, but she still glared at me. The heat of her gaze spread warmth through my body that was ice just seconds ago. I closed my eyes and reveled in it.

This was what I wanted to get lost in.

Beasty. Even if she was a fucking cunt.

Tonight, she could be mine.

"You"re the best kind of enemy. We love you so fucking much," I crooned. She sucked in a breath but I kept going. "But you don"t love us at all. You love your ideas and logic. That"s what this is, right? You think we"re bad men, because we were exposed to a bad man in our childhood?" I chuckled. "There"s a sad sort of poetry in that warped symmetry, don"t you think?"

She started struggling again. "What the hell is wrong with you? You don"t love me. You don"t even know me! Just like I don"t know you!"

I grunted as her thumb dug deeper into my sides and I used my hold on her to trap her against my chest. "Pain is Lake"s thing, not mine," I murmured against her temple.

Yanking her head to the side, I bit the slender column of her neck. "But that doesn"t mean I don"t want to hurt you."

"You"re a fucking asshole!" she screamed in my ear.

I winced and loosened my hold enough that she threw herself out of my hold. Out of nowhere, she slapped her hands on my chest with enough force that I tripped over my foot and fell back on the chair.

I grunted, but she was already working my pants undone. Holding my hands up, I swallowed, clamping my lips shut. I didn"t want her to stop.

"You four think you can upend my life, and mess everything up for me, and treat me like this?" The righteous indignation coming off of Beasty was an aphrodisiac I never knew I needed. "I"ve done a lot of thinking the last couple days. I see where I went wrong." Her voice lowered like she was talking to herself. "You don"t respond to conversation. You respond to sex and hurt feelings."

She got my cock out, hard as fucking steel in her cool hand. I bit my lip to hide a moan as she stroked me from root to tip.

Fuck, I had no idea what to do with my hands and they hovered in the air. As she started to lower her head I threaded my fingers through my own hair. Better to not force her away when she offered exactly what I needed.

"You're not my goddamned enemy. If you were, I wouldn"t do this." Sucking the tip into her mouth, she worked the base with both hands. My vision went white and I arched my back.

Then she popped up. "You"re not a bad man. You"re a troubled one."

Her words doused the edges of my arousal, but as soon as she lowered her head and swirled her tongue around the tip, I pushed her words away. She hummed, and sucked, and licked, until she was the only thing on mind. Nothing else.

Beasty worked me over like someone who enjoyed giving blowjobs. I pressed my toes into the floor, then heels, repeating the cycle over as she built a blistering pleasure inside me.

She looked so good with my dick in her mouth.

Then she pulled away again, and her hands stopped working.

I groaned.

"It"s not fun to be edged, is it?" She smirked, then licked from the base to tip.

Taking a chance, I reached out a hand and caressed her cheek. "I love it. If you didn"t, then Atlas didn"t do it right."

"That"s uncalled for, I"ve edged you plenty." Atlas strolled in, bare chested and only wearing pajama pants. He was fucking delicious.

Until the video clip flashed through my head. No, no, no.

I squeezed my eyes shut. That memory wasn"t allowed here, not now.

Beasty froze.

"What"s wrong?" I asked her. The euphoria of her hands on me with Atlas here was exactly what I needed.

Everything was different this time than when she walked in on us before.

She shook her head, her gaze locked on my twitching dick. Atlas got to his knees next to her, and goosebumps trailed down my arms. This was every wet dream I"ve had.

"We"re going to torture the shit out of Joaquin. He deserves it for being a prick to you, doesn"t he?" Atlas cooed, using two fingers to shift her hair off the shoulder closest to him. Then he cupped her neck and turned her to face him.

"Yes," she whispered, her gaze roaming all over his face. "I want him to understand that he hurt me."

Atlas nodded. "This is the best kind of hurt you can give him. The good kind." He kissed Beasty, tangling his tongue with hers, tilting his head to take the kiss deeper.

It was the most erotic thing I"d ever seen and it was just a kiss.

He pulled away, just enough to press one lingering kiss on her lips, then pressed his forehead to hers. "You"re so delicious, Beasty. I"ve never tasted anything as good as you."

I tried to move Beasty"s hand off my cock so I could stroke it myself, but Atlas slapped it away. "This is your punishment. Not your reward."

Raising my hands, I relented. This was their show, and I needed someone else to be driving right now.

Atlas guided Beasty"s head down, and then they were kissing over the tip.

"Oh, fuck. That"s so hot." I couldn"t resist. Reaching out, I cupped the sides of each of their heads.

This was perfection. Nothing in life could compare to this. Not the best drink, the best game. It all came back to Beasty and Atlas.

Together they jacked me off and sucked my cock, their combined wet mouths getting me hotter together than each of them alone.

"God," I wheezed, mesmerized by the way Atlas controlled Beasty. He twisted his hand and Beasty mimicked him.

"That's it, just like that." he murmured between kisses. "You're doing such a good job. You're driving him crazy." Then he licked from my tip to her mouth.

She didn't need any more urging as she shifted her head to meet his kiss.

That asshole was showing her exactly how I loved to be pleasured and she was soaking up every lesson. Beasty moaned as Atlas continued to divide his attention between me and her. He shouldn't have been able to do it. But his skill at working us both up was unparalleled.

"Such a good girl. You're a natural. Look how crazy Joaquin is for you." He continued to talk her through it with a low, rich cadence to his words. Beasty did glance up at me, and satisfaction flared in her eyes.

I"d had many blowjobs from Atlas to compare to. But both of them together was mind-blowing.

That tingle started at the base of my spine and I jerked with a grunt.

Atlas, that fucker, pulled Beasty off until neither of them touched me and my cock bounced against my stomach.

He laughed under his breath as he turned Beasty to face him, and started making love to her mouth. Holding her head still, he kissed her how they were meant to. This should have been their first intimacy, not the Black Room.

His hands cupped her face and she gripped his sides, their fronts plastered together.

Beautiful.

Stroking myself, I was almost there when Atlas broke the kiss and stopped my hand.

"We"re going to have to do this over and over again, Beasty," he panted. "Until he learns his lesson." The mischievous glint in his eyes sparked. I loved and hated this side of him.

Beasty"s eyes were glassy when she glanced at me again. Then disentangling herself from Atlas, she flattened her palms on my thighs to steady herself.

Atlas was right, this was the hurt I wanted. The torture that lasted hours, and drove me out of my mind until nothing existed, except for them.

"No." Her mouth pursed.

It took a minute for my brain to register. By then, she had already stood up. Ice trickled down my back from the vicious determination on her face.

"I"m returning the favor. He"ll get nothing else from me until he comes to his senses and stops being a shithead." She stalked out of the room with stiff steps, like it was just as hard for her to leave us as it was for us to leave her alone as kids.

My cock softened the longer I stared at the doorway.

I"d finally broke through with Beasty, just a little bit, and she fucked me over.

Only this time, I didn"t blame her.