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14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ENDER

The good news is that my mate is enraged at me once more—the bad news is she's not backing down.

Instead of just sulking at my dickish behavior, Sera wants to break me, instead.

I suppose turnabout is fair play, I deserve nothing less, but it sucks to be on the receiving end of her machinations.

Because the little brat is a deviant genius. She knows exactly how to get under my skin.

Point in case, she's in my bed— not sleeping—but stroking her feathers.

With every touch, I hear her thoughts and feel her need grow.

I've fled my house, but no matter how high I fly, I can't escape her or the exquisite pleasure she's giving herself.

The cold night air does nothing to douse the fire of my arousal.

Because I know the only thing to extinguish it is to join Sera and finish what she started.

But I can't do it.

Stay away.

I repeat these words over and over, no matter how strong my mate's thoughts call to me.

She brings herself to the brink and then stops, only to begin again, and I realize she's edging herself just to torture me.

Evil.

Pure evil.

And she accuses me of being demonic when Sera might actually be the Devil.

Finally, I break. I dip a clawed hand into my pants, yanking out my quorvim.

I quiver in anticipation as I stroke down the corkscrew span.

First over the sides, and then, I stretch it out, my quorvim doubling in length.

A seam of small, triangular spines race down the middle, the flexible barbs bending as my hand ghosts over them.

My touch is light and then firm as I try to gain a semblance of control over myself.

All the while, I keep my mind tuned into Sera's, listening as her heart rate picks up.

She wants to come so badly—but not as badly as she wants to torment me.

Her thoughts become louder the more she feels what she's doing to her body.

Our lessons today have taught her something she can use against me.

Instead of commanding her wings, Sera simply lies back and lets them touch her.

They caress over her breasts, against her thighs, tease her clit, and even plunge into her pussy.

Never have I been so turned on and envious of a bunch of feathers.

I decide to take a page from my mate's book, and come back to the ground.

Laying down, I wrap my wings around me until they curl around my quorvim.

Why it's never occurred to me to touch myself like this, I don't know, but the sensation is beyond words.

My feathers don't have a grip that my fingers do, but my hand isn't nearly as sensitive as my wings.

By using them, I'm doubling my pleasure, but I'll need to use my palm to actually come.

Or Sera's pussy.

The errant thought pops into my head, and I groan as I imagine what it would be like to sink into her heat.

Bliss.

But I can't ever know the feel of Sera clenching around my quorvim.

Imagining is the best I'll ever get because fucking my mate simply isn't in the cards—no matter how much we both want it.

Sera is now using her fingers in tandem with her wings, and she's cresting fast.

She chants my name, and I stroke myself faster.

When she comes, I swear I feel it detonate somewhere deep inside of me.

My hand strokes my quorvim faster, and I tumble over the edge with her, groaning at the pleasure consuming me.

To say that my mate is satisfied is an understatement.

I should be, too—it was one of the best orgasms of my life—but I'm mostly just ticked off.

That smug, little imp has no idea what she's playing with.

Licking my cum off my hand, I tuck my quorvim and march back into the house.

I slam into my bedroom, and Sera squeaks at the loud sound.

"You," I snap, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction.

"Me?"

Her voice drips false innocence as if she's entirely confused as to why I'm a godsdamned wreck.

"You wanted to talk—let's talk. You want to know why I don't tell you my secrets? Because you can't handle them."

Sera gasps, sitting up. The rustle of her body against my sheets makes my quorvim twitch.

"I've told you—it's not up to you to decide what I can and can't handle! By not telling me, you're acting no better than your father!"

It's a low blow, and it hits me directly in the solar plexus.

I grip my midsection and stagger as if Sera actually physically attacked me.

"Ender, I'm—"

"No, you don't need to say anymore. I think…I think you've said enough. I'm not trying to act like my father. He never cared for my mother, but I care for you, Sera. More than you can ever know, and it's because of this that I can't tell you the things you wish to know. Because I know you, and I need to protect you from yourself. That sounds shitty, like you can't be trusted to make sound decisions, and it's not that. It's just that you're too good. So good that you would sacrifice yourself for something that isn't worth it."

"So you're saying it's ok for you to make those decisions for me? That you can sacrifice yourself instead?"

"Yes, because I'm doing it for you because…because I do love you, whether you believe me or not. I think I fell in love with you before I even met you."

I smile at this because it's true. I fell in love with Sera's spirit and inner brilliance long before I knew anything about what she felt like in my arms.

"But Ender, you say it's ok for you to sacrifice yourself for something that's not worth it but not me—what makes you any less worthy?"

Everything.

In my head, I hear my father's voice sneering at me.

Sera sighs. "And what about what I feel?"

"You don't love me."

I say it with conviction because I've been in her head.

"Not yet, but even you can't deny that I have feelings for you."

"Sexual attraction—"

"It's more than that! Stop trivializing my emotions, please ."

She's right, but I'm panicking, trapped in this nightmare of a moment.

"I don't know what you want from me, Sera. I've already confessed that I love you. Isn't that enough?"

"Why would I be content with pieces of your soul when I could have the whole thing?"

A grunt escapes me. "I can't bare my soul to you."

"Can't or won't?"

"Please," I beg her, desperately needing Sera to just let this one thing go.

"Why would you sacrifice yourself for me? Why would you love me?"

"Because you're everything in life I could ever want—you're kind, witty, loyal, ruthless, petty—"

"You wanted to fall in love with someone ruthless and petty?"

She sounds amused rather than offended by my assessment of her.

"Not necessarily. What I'm trying to say is that I love all of you, even society's preconceived notion of your flaws. And, if I'm being honest, it's sexy as hell when you're calculating and cruel. Point in case—what you just did before I came in here."

"Teasing you like that was the highlight of this kidnapping for me, but I don't think you actually love me."

"And why's that?"

"Because someone who loves me wouldn't keep important secrets from me."

"This is different, and you know it!"

"No, I don't know it because I have no idea what's going on!"

"I'm trying to protect you!"

"It feels like you're trying to control me."

"I…I am. I'm trying to control the situation because I can't let anything happen to you."

"Let me in, Ender. Please— please ."

In my head, I war with myself before deciding to tell Sera one secret.

And one is all she's getting out of me.

"You're my mate," I confess in a low voice.

She sucks in sharply, a strangled sound cutting off her airway as she struggles to find her breath.

"Mates? We can't be mates!"

Bitterness twines through me at her rejection, and I turn away.

And she wonders why I didn't want to tell her.

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