Chapter Nineteen

Delphi Mae

“I know she’s only five-ish months old, but I figured I would start early. My goal is to get her to say Eli before she says Mama or Dada. I think it’ll happen. I’m sorry that we haven’t brought her to see you. They said she’s too young to be in the ICU, but the good news is they moved you down here to the second floor yesterday. So, I’ll ask Pa if we can bring her tomorrow.

“Steel is doing good. Blaze hasn’t left his side since he got back, but I guess that’s not really anything new. They’ve closed down Oasis for a few weeks to give him time to recover. He had two broken ribs and was pissed off at Doc when he ordered him to get them x-rayed. It was funny to watch, but Doc doesn’t play around, so in the end, he won.”

“You’re talking her ear off, son,”

“I know, but I’m hoping the sound of my voice will help her swim back to the surface.”

“Well, I think it’s working. She’s awake.”

“I could lay here for hours listening to you talk,” I say, my voice cracking. “I missed you.”

“She’s awake. You’re awake. Thank you, God.”

“What happened?” I ask.

“What do you remember, baby?”

“Shooting someone,” I admit. “Paston. Did we escape?”

“You’ve been in the hospital for the past week,” Eli says. “The doctors placed you in a medically induced coma to give your body time to rest. Can you open your eyes, Ma?”

“No. I’m afraid this isn’t real.”

I feel the weight of Eli’s words settle in my chest like a heavy stone. “A week?” I whisper, trying to process it all. My head is foggy, my thoughts swirling in a chaotic mess. “I… I don’t remember much. I remember the gun… I remember him … but everything else is a blur.”

“It’s okay,” Eli’s voice is soft but firm, steadying me. “You’ve been through a lot. We all have. But you’re here. You’re awake. You’re alive.” He pauses, and I feel the warmth of his hand on mine, a connection grounding me to this moment, to him. “And we’re gonna get through this together. All of us.”

I try to open my eyes, but the heaviness of the moment makes it hard. My eyelids flutter, a feeble attempt, before I finally manage to crack them open. The light is harsh, too bright, and it takes a moment for my surroundings to come into focus. I blink a few times, trying to adjust, and there he is, my son, sitting beside me, looking every bit like the man he’s becoming. But there’s a weariness in his gaze. Worry. Fear. It’s in the way he’s holding himself, in the lines of his face.

“Ma?” Eli asks again, his voice a little shaky now. “Can you see me?”

I blink once more, trying to push the haze out of my mind. “Yeah,” I whisper, finally meeting his eyes. “I see you.”

“What about me?”

My eyes swing to the other side of the room where Jacob leans against the wall, he too looking exhausted. Worried.

“I’ll go get the doctor,” Eli chuckles. “I might head to the cafeteria and get a snack first. So, it’ll be a minute. Love you, Ma. Don’t do that shit again, or I’m handcuffing myself to you.”

I smile as he stands and walks out of the room.

“Well, baby? Do you see me?”

Tears well in my eyes as he sits on the side of my bed and takes my hand.

“Yeah,” I cry. “Yeah, I see you, Jacob. I never thought I’d get the chance to tell you how much I loved you.”

Jacob’s grip tightens around my hand, his thumb brushing over my skin in a soothing rhythm. The emotion in his eyes mirrors mine. Deep, raw, and full of all the words we’ve yet to say. For a moment, we just sit there in silence, the only sound the faint beeping of the heart monitor beside the bed.

“I’ve been right here the whole time,” he says softly, his voice hoarse, as if the weight of the last few days is still pressing down on him. “I never left. And I never will.”

I nod, tears slipping down my cheeks. It’s overwhelming to hear him say that. I want to be strong for him, for Eli, but the sheer force of everything that’s happened makes it hard to breathe, hard to think clearly.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “I’m sorry for everything. For… for putting you through this. For dragging you into my mess.”

Jacob’s face softens as he leans closer, his forehead resting against mine. “Don’t apologize, Del. You didn’t drag me anywhere. I’m here because I choose to be. I’ve chosen you, every part of you, the good, the bad, and everything in between. And I’ll keep choosing you every damn day.”

I want to respond, to tell him how much I love him, how much he means to me, but the words get tangled in my throat. Instead, I lean into him, letting the warmth of his body settle into mine. He’s here, and that’s all that matters.

“I’m scared, Jacob,” I confess, my voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know how to move forward from this. I don’t know what’s waiting for me on the other side.”

His fingers gently lift my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “You don’t have to know right now. All we have to do is take it one step at a time. We’ll figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”

A soft sob escapes my chest, and Jacob pulls me into his arms, wrapping me in the kind of warmth I’ve been craving since this nightmare started. I let myself fall apart for a moment, releasing everything I’ve been holding in. The fear, the anger, the confusion. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I allow myself to just feel .

When the sobs finally slow, I pull back slightly to look at him, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt. There’s none.

“I love you,” I say, my voice stronger now. “More than I thought I could love anyone.”

He smiles softly, brushing the tears from my cheeks. “I love you too, Freckles. And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”

In this moment, I realize that no matter what happens next, no matter what demons we still have to face or what obstacles are thrown our way, I have everything I need right here.

Jacob spends the next several minutes telling me everything about how Paston and my high school principal were working together. How, for some reason, Paston chose my picture when Mr. Honiker sold his student's information to that sick man. It’s all too much, but I need to hear it all. So, I listen.

“Our daughter is being homeschooled,” I say after he’s finished.

“Agreed,” Jacob nods. “Now, kiss me, baby. I hear our son talking the doctor's head off. They’ll be here any second.”

I’m still smiling by the time Jacob’s lips touch mine.

“I love you, baby,” he says against my mouth. “So, fucking much.”

“I love you, too,” I whisper back. “Thank you for saving us.”

He presses a few soft kisses to my lips before pulling back.

“You and Steel were saving yourselves,” he smiles. “I owe that man my life. I owe him everything for keeping you safe.”

My son walks into the room with the doctor, and I spend the next several hours answering questions, medical testing, more questions from the police, and more testing.

***

The police apparently found Paston and his son dead at some property they owned a few hours away, along with a list of names and a written confession from Paston himself. I told the police everything up to the point of me shooting Paston. I never mentioned Jacob and the other men arriving.

We talked beforehand, so I was prepared.

The doctor who helped us and his granddaughter were never brought up either. Ghost told me that they’re back to living their lives, and it’s best if we kept them out of it.

The police knew there were holes in my story, but they didn’t question me further. They’re probably just grateful they get to take down some huge crime group.

I had to spend another week in the hospital before I was released. I even walked out on my own two legs. The physical pain is all but gone, but the mental will be here for a while.

Steel and I, on the other hand, are best friends, even if he won’t admit it. Last week I asked if he would come over and help me paint my toes since Jacob was on a work assignment. Painting toes is tricky business when you have a belly to contend with.

He grumped the whole time, but he did it. He even sat on the floor and played with Jessica for almost an hour. I don’t know who his person is going to be, but between him and his brother, they’re going to be loved until they pop.

I can’t wait to watch it happen.

As for me, I’m frustrated. Sexually, that is. I’ve spent days trying to pep myself up to ask Jacob if he wanted to have sex with me. I mean, I’m nervous, obviously. I’ve never had sex with anyone before. A specific situation not counted. So, I guess I’m a thirty-year-old virgin.

“What do I say, Steel?”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” he tells me for the second time.

“Do I just come out and say I want to have sex with you?”

“Not talking about it.”

“Or do I just strip naked and lay on our bed? I mean, he’s already seen me naked a few times, but this time, it won’t be to help me in the shower.”

“Not talking about you naked.”

“What if I send the kids to Knox’s for the night, and I make a game out of it? Like a find the naked woman and get your prize, type of game.

“Woman.”

“Oh, I can buy some ribbon, tie a bow around my waist, and sit under the Christmas tree. Merry Christmas to me, am I right?”

“You’re not going to stop, are you? And it’s July.”

“Christmas can never come too early, Steel.”

Blaze sits in the corner of the Little’s room, brushing someone’s hair but his body is shaking with laughter. I’m not a Little, but I find myself at Oasis often to talk to Steel. He won’t let me in any room other than this one, but that’s okay. I don’t mind. Knox likes to spend time here as well, so it’s a win-win for me.

“Maybe we can spend the night role-playing. I can be the nanny, and he my sexy boss.”

“Already done that one,” Blaze laughs.

“Not talking about this,” Steel says as he hands someone a sippy cup.

“Fanks, Uncle Steel.”

“You’re welcome, cupcake. Now, go to your mommy. She wants a cuddle.”

“What if I get naked…”

“Del…”

“No, hear me out. What if I get naked and put on his vest? He never wears it when he works. Think that would work.”

“Fuck yes,” Steel says. “Now, let’s stop talking about this.”

“Blaze?”

“I agree, silly girl,” he smiles. “That will work just fine.”

Perfect. Plans made.

However…

“Hey, Steel, can you show me how to give him a proper blowjob?”

I can’t help but fall to the ground laughing as he shakes his head and leaves the room.

“You’re going to be the death of that man,” Blaze laughs. “Or Reynolds will be if he knew the type of questions you’re asking another man.”

“What? It’s for educational purposes. I’ve never given a man a blowjob before.”

“Come with me, sister,” Knox says from behind me. “I’ve got toys and can show you how to blow his mind. Pun totally intended.”

“I don’t mind waiting for you to be done playing,” I smile at my friend.

“That’s okay. I don’t have to leave Little space for this, do I, Papa?”

We both laugh as Blaze, Taylor, and another man all leave the room quickly.

“Men are so sensitive,” Knox laughs. “Okay, so first…”