Chapter 24

I was numb. Totally and completely.

It felt like I was outside my body watching from a distance. Like it wasn't my life or my mother that was being discussed.

Badger found Anna.

Found her thirty miles from my current location. Which had me thinking—how many other times in the twenty years had my mother been close without me knowing it? Had I passed her on the street?

You have no idea how hard it was for her to leave you.

You think she wanted to leave you?

I promised to keep her secret.

I vowed to protect you.

And Charlie, had he seen her?

The woman I love.

I was in an impossible situation between the only two women I've ever loved.

Charlie loved Anna.

That explained why in all the years I'd lived with him I'd never seen him with a woman.

I couldn't process the rest and not because I didn't want to face it I truly didn't have the mental capacity. I'd listened to Zane, I'd listened to Easton. I now understood what they were trying to explain about family and how something wrong could really be right depending on the motives.

But I was all out of headspace. I couldn't think about my phone call with Charlie or what he revealed without having a breakdown. What shocked me was Easton hadn't pushed, he'd given me what I'd asked for even though I knew it was killing him to watch me shut down. I wasn't stupid. I knew it was nothing more than a reprieve, but it meant a lot to me that he respected me—which translated into him trusting me to know what I needed, which made me trust him.

That meant that part of my out-of-body experience I was in the process of having, included admitting that even though I wasn't processing the knowledge, I did trust Easton. Further, I cared about him. I wasn't fool enough to believe that sex equaled love but there was also respect, admiration, and an inkling of adoration. Maybe the first blushes of love. I couldn't know because I'd never loved anyone. But the way he'd kept his promise of going gentle, and the way he took care of me, the way he stuck with me when I had a shit attitude, and the way he stayed even though he knew I was terrified and could run at any moment, made it difficult not to start to fall in love with him.

There was a lot going on around me in the conference room of Z Corps. A lot of talk. A lot of planning. All of it had to do with me, yet I was sitting there next to Easton not paying a lick of attention. And I could do that, because I trusted Easton. I could lock myself away and know all the way down to my soul that he and his team would handle the situation.

How had that happened?

I trusted Dutch and Badger and even Charlie (though now Charlie only had a smidgen of trust) but I would never zone out and let them talk about me. I'd suck it up, lock it down, and participate.

But the moment I heard Badger say he'd found Anna and she was in Maryland, my heart had begun to break. And when he announced he had a location but he hadn't made contact, thus he couldn't confirm she was alone in the house she'd been staying at for days, my broken heart shattered.

She was close.

Had been for days.

That meant she knew where I was, knew the jig was up, yet she hadn't attempted to make contact. There was no other reason she'd be thirty miles away. None.

That hurt.

Like a lot. So much, I couldn't deal. So I left Easton to it and blanked my mind.

I felt a hand on my thigh, knew it was Easton's but didn't move. His hand squeezed and I blocked it out.

"Nebraska," he called. "Need you to focus a minute, yeah?"

I shook my head.

"Just for a second."

I gave him my eyes and he didn't delay. "We're headed out. If this is something you want in on, you need to be up to speed and focused. You coming or staying here?"

Was I coming?

I'd fully checked out and he was giving me the option to check back in and be a part of whatever they were planning.

If I hadn't already confessed albeit mentally that I had feelings for him and those feelings were leaning on the side of loving him, snapping me out of my stupor to give me that option would've forced me to evaluate my feelings.

I hadn't given a single person in the room any evidence to suggest I wouldn't be a liability, yet Easton still had faith in me.

Oh yeah, I was getting a strange feeling in my belly. It wasn't terrifying—it was ter-ri-fy-ing with the emphasis on the ing. Meaning that terrified feeling was ongoing and only getting stronger.

"Dove?" Badger's voice came through Zane's cellphone on the table.

"I'm here," I answered.

That was, I was there physically. Mentally, I was closed for business.

"Sit this one out," he suggested, though his tone said what his words didn't, and that was he was ordering me to sit this one out.

"That's not your call," Easton returned, his tone also conveying what his words didn't say, and that was back the fuck up.

"Actually, it is. Like it or not she's still a part of Black. And with this I make the call. She's sitting this out."

I felt the vibration of hostility rolling off of Easton and filling the room. If I could feel it, his brothers could. This was not the way these two teams needed to be introduced. Not to mention, Easton was a badass but Badger was stone-cold. Not only would nothing good come of these two going head-to-head, it would end in bloodshed. The kind that lands you on a slab in the morgue.

"Actually, Zane fired me," I told Badger, not caring I was throwing Zane under the bus and not giving the whole story. Badger wasn't the kind of man who'd appreciate my thoughts on quit-fired and severance packages anyway. "So it's not your call and it's never been your call. I move where I need to move. And I want in."

"I'll be having words with Viper when this is done about what the fuck's up with him firing you. But for now, I'm telling you, you coming isn't smart."

"Maybe not, but this my life and—"

"That right there is why this isn't smart. Give us a chance to contain the situation and get a feel where Anna's head's at. She's in the right place, we'll bring her to you."

It hit me then. Badger wasn't shutting me out; he was trying to protect me from Anna.

I was torn. I wanted in, but my head was fucked up. My concentration could slip and I could put the team in danger.

I glanced at Easton, needing direction. He instantly read my dilemma and went to work giving me what I needed to put my mind at ease.

"Whatever you need, you'll get. You took another hit today from Charlie. A big one. Badger finding Anna tipped you. You're not where you need to be to kick in a door or clear a room. You having a weapon in your hand is a hard no. Saying that you need to be there, I'll have your back. But straight up, I'd feel better if you waited here for me to bring her to you. Badger's right. It'll give us a chance to feel her out. But just saying, even if she's not where I think she needs to be to sit across from you, I'll cuff her, duct tape her mouth shut, and still bring her in so you can lay eyes on her."

That was what I needed.

"Promise? No matter what, you bring her to me?" I pushed.

"Swear on my life, baby."

Whatever you need, you'll get.

He said that a lot, or some variation of it.

"Okay. I'll wait here."

"Kira, you're here with Nebraska," Zane ordered.

"Duh. Someone's gotta be here to arrange bail money and dental services whenever you leave the office."

Zane smiled at Kira, showing off a white, toothy grin that was so wide it depressed his dimples.

I was momentarily dazzled. Not that I'd ever admit that to anyone, not even under torture, but Zane Lewis was hot. Scary-hot but hot nonetheless, and when those dimples came out, he lost the scary and sexy inched in.

"You're drooling, baby."

I pulled out of my stupor and blinked at Easton.

"Huh?"

Easton didn't elaborate, at least not verbally. His lips twitching said something—I just wasn't sure what. And him leaning over, pressing a kiss to my mouth, also said something but I didn't understand that either.

It wasn't until I heard Badger's cantankerous grunt, then his equally rough voice say, "Christ, those fucking dimples. Are there any women who are immune?" did I finally get it.

Easton caught me staring.

I shot him an unhappy look that not only did nothing, it totally deflected off of him like he was coated in Nebraska-attitude-proof Teflon.

I knew it deflected because he smiled.

"You're a dick," I muttered.

"I'm gonna let that one slide, but just saying, baby—"

"Nah-uh, nope, don't finish that," Kira cut in. "You have places to be and people to see. You should get on that."

I'd heard good things about Kira. I'd respected her long before I met her. With her history, she could've crumbled. Hell, she should've crumbled but she didn't. She stood strong and survived. But watching her with the team, she impressed me. She'd had to have steel in that spine of hers not to let these men walk all over her.

That went for Layla as well as the team's leader. I had firsthand knowledge of the work Patheon had done and I knew she was the woman behind it all. I'd also heard the story of her digging through the rubble of a building that had collapsed with Zane and Kevin inside, not knowing if they were dead or alive. She did this for hours with her bare hands until they were bloody and raw and she had to be sedated.

She was the type of woman other women aspired to be. That was, if the woman was going for strong, brave, and badass.

"Let's roll," Layla ordered.

Everyone got up to do her bidding, Zane included. That was, everyone but Easton. He stayed seated and turned my chair to face him.

"You good?"

No, I was absolutely not good.

But I wouldn't tell him that.

"Yeah."

"Liar," he whispered and leaned in close. "But I swear to fuck you will be."

Since he was close he sealed his promise with a kiss.

Not like the closed-mouth ones he'd given me in front of his team. Not like the wet and deep ones he gave me that made me wild. Not like the soft and sweet ones I got first thing in the morning.

This one was new.

Different.

A vow in the form of a really great kiss that took the top spot for the best kiss of my life.