Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

“ Y ou are here.” Emily’s voice sounded from behind Luke.

He had been standing in one of the drawing rooms, scanning a row of books when the sound of footsteps had caught his attention. He turned to her, and found her standing in the doorway, her maid Lucy just behind her.

He raised an eyebrow. “You sound surprised? Did you think I would be late?”

“No.” Emily shook her head and admitted, “I suppose I just did not expect you to be here.”

He frowned at her. “Why not? I told you that I would teach you, that I would be here at this time. Have I given you reason to doubt me?”

“I suppose not.” Her eyes met his.

“Then shall we begin?” Luke gestured to one of the sofas.

Emily swallowed and nodded. She moved towards one of the sofas, her maid taking up a post in the corner of the drawing room, away from them.

Luke noticed the tension in Emily’s jaw, the tightness of her fists as she sat down and surveyed him. He handed her a book, a well-worn piece titled The Invited Alphabet.

He saw Emily frown at it and then look back at him. She made no attempt to open it, instead holding it like she was afraid it might bite her.

Luke suppressed a smile. “It is not going to hurt you.”

“I know that.” Emily snapped.

“Then why are you holding it as though it were a poisonous serpent?” Luke raised an eyebrow at her.

“I am not.” Emily gripped the book more firmly. “I just do not understand why you have handed me a book.”

“It is an abecedarium.” He replied simply.

“A what?” Emily frowned.

“A book of letters. I want you to read it. Not the sentences, just the letters.” He gestured again to the pages, keeping his voice even.

“But what is the point?” Emily asked.

Is she being deliberately combative? Luke clamped down on his irritation, taking a breath and keeping his voice level and even. “I need to understand the limits of your education.”

“I thought we had already done that. I know very little.” Emily raised an eyebrow at him.

He sighed. This is going to be a long night. “That does not tell me very much. Very little is subjective.”

“It feels objective to me.” Emily wrapped her arms around herself.

Luke narrowed his eyes, trying to understand why she seemed determined to avoid the subject. “Facts and feelings are not the same thing.”

“In this case they are as good as each other. My feelings around my inadequacies are grounded in the fact of it.” Emily replied.

“If you are going to spend the entire time arguing with me, I fear we will make staggeringly slow progress.” Luke shot back, his temper getting the better of him.

“I am not arguing with you.”

“You are now arguing about arguing.” Luke ran a hand through his hair as understanding dawned on him. “You are either avoiding the task because you are afraid or you are simply choosing to be infuriating.”

“I am not afraid.”

“Prove it.” Luke pointed at the book. “Read the letters from the book. They should be nice and big, and this edition has each in a different type face.”

Emily raised it, and Luke noticed her hands shaking. She took a deep breath, opened her mouth and closed it several times.

Eventually, she looked up at him. “Do you have to watch me?”

“I need to know that you are reading from the book, and not just reciting the alphabet by rote.” Luke explained.

Emily raised an eyebrow at him, a half-smile on her face. “You do not trust me?”

Luke felt a flush of warmth in his cheeks and hoped that in the dim light, Emily would not be able to see. “It is not that I do not trust you, mostly that I know you are clever and at times impatient.”

Luke found himself smiling at Emily who was looking at him with a mix of surprise and amusement on her face. “How is it possible to be complimentary and insulting in the same breath?”

“It is one of my many talents.” He shrugged, smiling in what he hoped was a cheeky way. I am out of practice.

“Such humility.” Emily rolled her eyes, but Luke caught a glimpse of her smile.

There was a beat of silence, but it felt comfortable. It was as if there was a warmth in the air. Luke shook his head, trying to think sensibly and said, “Would it help if I only looked at the book?”

“But it will be upside down, won’t it?” Emily glanced from Luke to the abecedarium.

Luke nodded. “Yes. Though as the print is large, it will be easy enough to read.”

“You can read upside down?” Emily’s eyes widened, and Luke could hear a note of admiration in her voice.

Luke made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Not with any speed, no. But I learned how to do it – it is a useful skill when negotiating contracts. You do not have to turn the thing around to see what it says. I find it rather efficient.”

“You know, if it were anyone else saying that I would think them terribly arrogant.” Emily said.

Luke raised an eyebrow at her, unable to keep the surprise from his voice. “Then you do not think I am terribly arrogant?”

“In this instance? No.” She replied.

“If you are attempting to distract me with compliments, I should tell you that it will not work.” Luke gave her a flat look. “I will not be taken in by a charming smile.”

“You think my smile charming, do you?” her tone was teasing.

“Perhaps I simply think you are using it to attempt to charm me. That does not mean I find it so.” Luke swallowed, a feeling of danger sending shivers down him. Let us return to the task at hand. “Now please, read what you can.”

Luke watched the tension return to Emily’s shoulders as she began to read through the book. Her voice wobbled as she read the letters, and occasionally she would frown at them.

“Why did you stop?” Luke asked. If she only knows the alphabet until the letter P, this will be harder work than I thought.

“It just occurred to me that b, d and a p are all basically the same letter.” Emily said as though she were simply stating that a fire was hot.

Luke frowned at her, unable to keep the confusion from his voice. “No, they are not. They are different. They make different sounds.”

“They might make different sounds, but they are the same letter. A ‘b’ is basically a ‘d’ reversed. And a ‘p’ is just an upside down ‘b’.” Emily insisted.

She flipped between the pages, pointing to the smaller form of each letter. “And a ‘q’ is just a ‘p’ reversed.”

As Emily pointed to each letter, Luke’s frown deepened. “But they are different letters.”

“Yes and no. It’s like… Well, if you put a chair upside down it would still be a chair. If you put it on its side, it would still be a chair.” Emily shrugged. “It might not work as well on its side or upside down, but it is still a chair.”

“So, you are saying all of these letters are in fact, the letter B?” Luke shook his head. What game is she playing?

“Yes.” Emily agreed, a note of excitement in her voice. “I think that is why it can be so hard to tell them apart.”

Luke nodded slowly. “Let us suppose I agree with you. I think perhaps it would be easier for me to see if you wrote each letter.”

Emily reached for a quill and then stopped, looking up at him suspiciously. “You are trying to trick me into writing.”

“Perhaps. It would be useful to see what you can write.” Luke gestured for her to pick up the quill and paper.

“You could have just asked.” Emily grumbled.

Luke laughed softly. “And would you have done it if I had just asked?”

“Probably not.”

“Exactly.”

Emily picked up the quill, and Luke watched her as she dipped it in ink and began to write. Her hand was shaky, underconfident, and Luke could see why.

“You are holding your quill incorrectly.” He gestured to her hand.

“What do you mean I am holding it wrong? Surely there is just one way to hold a quill.” Emily’s brow furrowed.

Luke shook his head. “There is one correct way, and what you are doing is not it.”

“Well, how am I supposed to hold it then?” he could hear the irritation in her voice.

“Let me show you.” Luke picked up another quill and demonstrated for her.

Emily frowned and tried to imitate him. Her fingers seemed uncooperative, and he shook his head. Without thinking, he reached over and corrected her grip.

The warmth of her fingers against his seemed to spread through him as he guided them into the correct position. “Like this.”

Her sharp intake of breath made him realise what he was doing and he hastily let go of her hand, moving back as though stung. A waft of lavender washed over him and he shook his head as if to clear it.

“Try again.” Luke cleared his throat and gestured at Emily.

She swallowed and tried again. Her placement was nearly perfect. She began to write and Luke nodded.

“Does that feel better?” he asked.

He watched as Emily’s cheeks coloured, and expected a sharp retort. But to his surprise, she looked away and said, “To be honest, I have often felt more comfortable when using my left hand.”

“Then use that.” Luke gestured to her left hand.

Emily looked at him, her eyes wide and suspicious “Really? You wish me to use my left hand?”

“Yes, why else would I have suggested it?” Luke frowned.

Emily’s cheeks coloured and she said, “My governess told me I was defective. That it was a sign of evil.”

Luke remembered that way his tutors had tried to convince Rodger of the same thing. He himself had been forced to write with his right hand, but had done his utmost to spare his brother that pain.

Anger flared to life as he remembered the sharp raps on his knuckles every time he tried to write left-handed. It was only deepened when he imagined the same fate befalling Emily. “Your governess was a fool.”

“I would have thought you agreed with her. Writing with one’s left hand is hardly seen as proper.”

“And I would have thought that the prospect of going against propriety would greatly appeal to you.” Luke pointed out.

“I do not wish to be defective.” Her voice was small, and he could hear traces of hurt in it.

He felt a sharp spike of emotion and pushed it away. “Rodger writes with his left-hand. He can use his right, but his letters are uglier and untidier. It harms no one for him to use his left hand, and I have found nowhere in the scripture that says it is the mark of the devil.”

“What do you mean?”

“I spent several hours combing through the Bible to find a reference to it being a mark of the devil, found nothing.” Luke explained.

Emily gave him a curious look. “But I have heard people say it is a defect. Physcians.”

Luke raised an eyebrow at her. “Would you say my brother is defective?”

Emily shook her head. “I would not, no.”

“Then you are not either.”

“To you. But others may think differently.”

“And what does it matter what they think? You seem to care little enough for your reputation.” Luke canted his head towards her.

“That is because I can do very little to correct it.” He heard the anger and frustration in her voice.

“Writing with your left hand would give you a good explanation as to why you did not come forward sooner. And if you have a suitable support, then no one would dare cast aspersions against you.” Luke explained reasonably. Then that man would get just what he deserved.

She scoffed. “You say that like I would have such a thing.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Why are you so convinced you would not? Unless you intend on driving all sources of help away.”

He had meant the last as a joke, but his voice came out less jovial than he had intended.

She shrugged at him. “That would imply they are there to begin with.”

“And how do you know they are not?” Luke asked.

From everything he had seen of her sisters, they were fiercely protective of her. And both were married to Dukes. They would protect her—no doubt they had already tried but could do very little without proof the letters were not their sister’s. It is probably due to their interventions that the scandal is as contained as it is.

“I just do.”

“That is hardly proof.”

Emily snapped. “Why does it matter? You are supposed to be teaching me how to read, not to pepper me with questions.”

Luke tried to bite back his own anger, but failed. “I am not the one fighting everyone who offers help until they abandon me.”

“How dare you! You do not even know me.” Emily’s voice broke with emotion.

“I do not need to know you.” Luke shook his head. “I offered to teach you and you seemed excited. Yet tonight you have been prickly as a pincushion.”

“Maybe this was a mistake.” Emily stood up and began to move away from him. “I should not have come here.”

Luke felt a mix of anger and disappointment flare through him. What a waste. “I did not think you were the kind of person to give up so easily. I did not think you were a coward.”

“I-just- I am leaving.” She turned and fled, the sound of the slamming door waking the sleeping maid who darted after her.

Luke watched the closed doorway for a moment, trying to understand what had just happened. Why did I say those things? He clenched his fist and let out a growl of frustration.

The slam of the door had disturbed the paper, and Luke picked it up, looking at the letters Emily had written. He felt the warmth of her fingers against his as he had corrected her grip. Heard the pride in her voice as she explained her theory on the letters.

“An upside down b.” he muttered as he rotated the paper. “And a q is just a p reversed

He smiled in spite of himself, finally seeing what Emily had. What kind of person could make such a connection?

“She has a brilliant way of noticing details. And I do not intend to let her waste her mind.” He vowed, determination filling him.