Chapter 30

30

He was too late.

The marble floor of the portico careened under Lucien’s boots as he walked out of the church. He couldn’t feel his legs, and the only reason he hadn’t yet collapsed was Stella. He’d never let her fall.

“Papa, are you crying?” asked Stella as he carried her away from the wretched church.

He descended the stairs, passed by the Corinthian columns, and turned left, into the alley between St. George’s and another building. The stairs and the sidewalk blurred as salty tears burned his eyes.

He just needed a moment to compose himself, to understand how to live in a world where Chastity would be Lady Wardbury, truly and irrevocably out of his reach.

“A little,” he admitted to Stella as he leaned his back against the brick wall in the soft shadows of the alley.

Onlookers had thrown curious glances at him as he’d passed, but they were waiting to see a happy bride and groom walk out of the church hand in hand—Wardbury and Chastity.

Lucky Wardbury. Damn him.

He had no idea what a treasure he had.

Slowly, he slid down the wall until he sat on the ground with Stella still in his arms. He had a treasure, too, he thought as he wrapped his arms around his daughter. Her own little arms tightened around his neck, and he allowed himself just one sob, so as not to scare his little girl.

“Poor Papa.” Stella’s little hand patted the side of his head. “I’ll make another star for you.”

His sweet girl… “Thank you, darling,” he croaked. “I just need a moment, and we’ll go and get ices.”

“Ices?” she asked, excited.

He nodded. That was all he could do. The pain in his heart was shattering, and yet he didn’t want to run. This is where his uncle would have told him to go and find a woman and seek pleasure to forget. But he didn’t want to.

Even through the pain, he felt love, too. And that was worth it.

He loved Chastity, and he wanted her to be happy, even if it would never be with him.

If Chastity thought this would be best for her, he supported her choice no matter how much it hurt. And if it wasn’t Lucien who’d make her happy, Lord Wardbury was a good man who’d take care of her—damn him again.

Lucien just needed a moment to say goodbye to her even in his head…and to come to terms with this loss.

“Lucien…” came a voice.

Her voice.

His head jerked up so fast his neck cracked. He wiped his eyes to see clearer. It was Chastity standing in the mouth of the alley, with sunlight falling on the pearls and silver threads in her stunning wedding gown, her tiara glistening, the little blue sash around her waist highlighting the magnificent color of her sky-blue eyes.

She was so beautiful, he couldn’t move.

Stella leaned back and looked at Chastity. “Lady Chastity?” she asked.

“Good day, Stella.” Chastity smiled as she walked closer to Lucien, while he scrambled up to his feet with Stella still in his arms. “How’s your leg?”

“Very well,” Stella said. “Papa is taking good care of it.”

Chastity’s eyebrows rose to her hairline. “Papa?” she asked as her brilliant eyes met Lucien’s.

“Indeed, that is me,” said Lucien, his voice as thick as gravel.

Chastity’s smile illuminated his heart. Her eyes were soft and gentle on him. “Indeed, that is you.”

He carefully put Stella down on the ground and cleared his throat. “Should you be here with me? Where’s your husband?”

“I have no husband,” she replied. “I just told Lord Wardbury I can’t marry him.”

He blinked and shook his head in bewilderment. Had he heard her right? “But you were there, with him…holding hands…”

“He is a very good man, much kinder than I deserve,” said Chastity. “He only wished me well.”

The sky could have split in two and let out the angels singing just for him and for her. “So I am not too late?”

“No. I told him the truth. I love another.”

Lucien couldn’t believe his ears. “Another, darling?” he asked as he took one step closer to her.

She nodded, not flinching, not looking away, and he was sinking, sinking in her eyes.

All fear, all armor melted as the words he should have told her long ago finally found their way into the world. “I love you, Star,” he said. “I’ve always loved you. I’ve just been too scared a little shit to admit it, and to allow myself to believe you could ever love me back.”

She beamed, tears welling in her eyes as her smile made the skin crinkle in the corners of her eyes.

“I read your poem,” he said, his chest trembling.

“You did?” she said, her eyes big.

“I should have opened it all those years ago. My life would have been very different.”

She smiled sadly. “I should have never believed my father. But here I am.”

“Here we both are. You were right all along, Star. This little girl…you…Dorian and my brothers are the best things that ever happened to me. You wanted me to change, but not for you or anyone else… For me. And your poem said it all. Everything I have ever sought has been within me all along.”

He became aware that there were more people in the mouth of the alley, and recognized his six brothers, as well as Patience. Dorian stood with his fists clenched, and Lucien looked at him and met his hard scowl. Dorian wasn’t throwing himself at him and punching him, at least. That was good.

He dropped to one knee.

Retrieving a yellow-sapphire ring, which he’d brought with him, he said, “I have loved you every day of my life. As a friend. As my best friend’s sister whom I vowed to protect. As my kindred spirit. I promise to love you for the rest of my days. Please, Lady Chastity Perrin, would you do me the greatest honor of my life and marry me?”

He couldn’t look away from her sky-blue eyes, so bright and beautiful his heart could stop.

She nodded. “I would, Lucien.”

He felt the ground careen under him again, but this time it felt as if he were about to levitate, soar high above the earth like a hot air balloon. But as long as she’d come with him, he wouldn’t mind.

He put the ring on her finger, and it looked absolutely perfect on her.

She smiled at him. What he wanted most was to take her into his arms and kiss her until she was breathless. To pick her up and swirl her around him. Then kiss her again, all day long. And more.

But he heard the heavy steps coming towards him, and Dorian and his brothers stood surrounding him.

Dorian’s sky-blue eyes were staring at him from under his brows, which were drawn together. “You bastard,” Dorian growled.

“I am sorry I betrayed your trust, Dorian,” said Lucien. “That was low of me.” He looked into the eyes of all of his friends. “I am sorry I betrayed all of you.”

Dorian looked at Chastity. “Is this really what you want, sister? Him?”

She nodded and locked her eyes with Lucien’s. “I do, brother. It’s been him all along.”

Dorian gave a heavy sigh, then clasped Lucien in a hard, vigorous embrace like he’d never experienced from Dorian before. “You have my blessing, then, you bastard,” he growled and clapped Lucien on the back. “And my forgiveness.”

Lucien’s chest felt light and tight all at once. They would be true brothers now… He felt his five other friends patting on his back, and clasping him around the shoulders, and relief flooded him, his chest expanding with lightness.

“When is the wedding?” asked Fortyne when they all separated and Lucien stood by Chastity’s side, unable to look away from her eyes.

He took her hands in his. “Whenever you want, Chastity. But are you certain? I have a daughter now. But you said you didn’t want children.”

“I will love you like my very own daughter, Stella,” said Chastity as she looked at the girl with a smile.

Stella gave her a shy smile as she clung to Lucien’s leg.

“The Bishop of London is still in the church,” said Dorian. “He’s a close friend of the Seatons, so I’m sure with a good word from Preston and Spencer, he’ll grant you a special license to marry right now. The guests are gathered. The wedding breakfast is waiting in my London house.”

“Would Lord Wardbury not feel offended?” asked Enveigh carefully. “It was supposed to be his wedding after all.”

“Lord Wardbury was very understanding,” said Chastity. “But you’re right. I would never want to slight him. And would like to ask his permission in any case.”

Lucien looked at Chastity, his chest feeling so light it could lift him into the sky. “Let me do that, Star. I want to marry you right here, right now. I’ve waited for thirty-two years. I am ready. Are you?”

Chastity blinked, then grinned. “I love you, Lucien. I’m ready, too.”

He took her hand in his, then placed it upon his arm.

And they went inside.