Chapter 29

29

St. George’s church at Hanover Square was lovely. From the carriage window, Chastity took in the grand portico with its six Corinthian columns, supporting a triangular pediment adorned with the royal arms. The entrance was decorated with wreaths of red roses, and she could smell them even from here. The street bustled with activity—not just with the invited guests, but also curious onlookers who hoped to catch a glimpse of the aristocratic wedding.

Dorian sat across the carriage looking like a proper big brother, solemn and serious.

Chastity wore the stunning wedding gown, a fitted spencer, the lace gloves, the tiara, and the veil.

Everything was ready.

Except her heart.

Chastity’s gaze swept over the scene, noting the five dukes standing outside, each resplendent in the colors of their house.

“Sister,” Dorian said as he took her hands in his. “Why is it that you do not look like a happy bride?”

Chastity squeezed his hands. He wasn’t wearing his glove, and she was glad of it. It had been shocking to see the scars, raw and inflamed, the first time she saw him remove the glove earlier this summer. Now they looked better, though the skin would never look fully healed.

She sighed. “I…I suppose I am as happy as I can be.” She looked again at the five dukes waiting for them.

Five.

Not six.

Lucien’s absence was like a knife straight into her heart. He’d been present at every important event in her life. It felt only natural he should be here now…

Except, of course, he wouldn’t be.

If he were here, she wouldn’t want him to be a spectator. She’d want him standing at the end of that aisle, waiting for her.

Dorian narrowed his eyes. “Is that enough?”

Before she could answer, Pryde walked towards the carriage and opened the door, giving her a courteous bow, always the image of honor and of pride. “You look beautiful, Lady Chastity.”

She nodded to Pryde in thanks and turned to Dorian again. She’d thought of her conversation with Patience several times throughout the week. Her mind was still certain marrying Lord Wardbury would be the right thing. But her heart ached, and her body craved Lucien.

“I…I don’t know that it is, brother. Do you think it might be?”

His jaw worked. “It is for many married couples. But I don’t want it to be enough for my little sister. Not now that I know what true happiness is, being married to the love of my life.”

She nodded, biting her lip. Pryde frowned as his gaze darted between her and Dorian.

“Is anything amiss?” Pryde asked. “Can I help?”

“Everything is perfect,” she said. “Let us proceed.”

She rose off her seat to descend the steps when Dorian squeezed her hand, making her freeze in place.

“You’re allowed to change your mind,” said Dorian. “I’ll deal with any consequences. Do not worry about scandals or gossip or any kind of reputation damage. I want you to only worry about your happiness.”

Her throat tightened as tears welled in her eyes. “My happiness is impossible, Dorian,” she whispered.

His face went slack and all warmth drained from his eyes. For a moment, she saw the old Dorian, the one who was capable of murder. “Don’t tell me it’s because of Lucien.”

She bit her lip and sat back down in the carriage, her eyes darting to Pryde. His gaze warmed with understanding. He nodded curtly, closed the door, and walked back to the rest of the dukes, who began asking him what was going on.

She fiddled with her gloves. “I don’t want to add oil to fire.”

Dorian thinned his lips into a straight line and looked out at his brotherhood. “He didn’t just betray you, Chastity. Didn’t just dishonor you. He betrayed all six of us.”

She nodded. “I know.” And yet, her heart roared with feelings, louder than anything her mind could ever say. It refused to be silent anymore. Her brother had to know. “I still love him,” she said.

He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. “Don’t say it, Chastity.”

“And I know you still love him, too. I know it because you’re hurting, and I am hurting, too. And I know it because I’ve been there, the witness to your friendship, to the brotherhood that started with the two of you when you were only babes.”

He opened his eyes and looked at her. They were slightly moist, she knew, as she saw the pain deep in them. “Yes,” he said. “I suppose you do know it.”

She pursed her lips. “You’re suffering, brother. I know Lucien has been there almost every day of your life and now he’s gone. You miss him.”

“He’d better stay away, Chastity. The next time I see him, he’s dead.”

“You shouldn’t say things you don’t mean.”

He stared straight into her eyes. “Neither should you. Are you truly going to marry a man you don’t love?”

She looked at the church once again. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. “Let’s find out.”

With that, she opened the door of the carriage. Pryde hurried towards her and gave her his hand to help her descend. The conversation between the five of them died when they saw her.

They nodded, and complimented her, but the smiles were strained, the eyes sad.

They all missed their seventh brother.

The seven sins weren’t the same without lust.

She, however, showed them her smile and walked into the church.

The long nave stretched before her, a crimson carpet running down the center. On either side, guests sat on dark wooden pews decorated with roses. She walked down the carpet, passing the Corinthian columns on either side, which supported the upper gallery that ran the length of the church.

Organ music began to play. She squeezed her hands together very hard as she became aware of the whispers, smiles, and eyes of the many guests focused on her. The church smelled like incense and perfume. Light filtered through the stained-glass windows.

And at the end of the aisle, stood the Bishop of London and Lord Wardbury—tall, handsome, and beaming at her.

And then she knew. It took her actually seeing Lord Wardbury for her heart to scream and for her body to lock up. Patience was right all along. She couldn’t ignore her feelings. Right now, more than ever before, she needed to listen to them.

He was not the man. As perfect as he was, he was not her husband. Lucien didn’t want to be her husband. But Lord Wardbury couldn’t be.

She was not going to marry him.

She had changed. Not only had she embraced the side of her she had refused for years, she had realized her heart and body needed to receive recognition and be weighed along with her mind. Her feelings told her she shouldn’t settle just because someone could be by her side, no matter how many wonderful hours of intellectual discourse they could have as husband and wife.

Lord Wardbury didn’t deserve a loveless marriage.

And neither did she.

She took a deep breath as she heard the footsteps of her brother and his best friends behind her, and purposefully she walked down the aisle. In the front pews, she saw Patience, her aunt, the Seatons, and many other members of the ton. But she didn’t smile. She didn’t walk slowly. When she stepped onto the platform before the altar, she saw the genuine smile freeze on Lord Wardbury’s face.

“May I speak to you, please, Lord Wardbury?” she asked. “Lord Bishop, could you please give us a moment?”

The Bishop of London raised his eyebrows. “Lady Chastity, we’ve been waiting for some time now. Please take your place and let us proceed?—”

“Forgive me,” said Lord Wardbury with a cock of his head. “If my bride would like to have a word with me, you may wait longer.”

The bishop chewed on his lips, then nodded and stepped a few paces back. Under the whispers of their guests, Chastity drew closer to Lord Wardbury so that only he could hear her. “Lord Wardbury,” said Chastity, looking into his kind, handsome eyes. “I am ever so sorry, but I cannot marry you.”

His head hung in submission, and when he looked at her again, he let out a bitter laugh. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

“Have you suspected this?” she asked.

“I always thought you were too good for me,” he said.

She couldn’t speak for a moment. She? Too good for him?

“You’re beautiful. You’re the most intelligent and brilliant woman I know… Let’s face it, your research is simply brilliant. I wish it was something I came up with. You’re brave. You care. You’re unapologetic about your passion and your talent. And you’re so incredibly kind. You were never going to settle for someone like me.”

She opened and closed her mouth, struggling to find words. Finally, she managed, “And you needed me to dress in jewel tones to see all this?”

“Perhaps. I’ve always admired your intelligence, but it took me spending time with you to really see it. And that is another quality I admire in you. You’re deep and you don’t get fooled by appearances.”

She felt herself lift up and soar. “I wish I loved you, Lord Wardbury. Your attention and your marriage proposal were a true honor. But I can’t make you happy, and you can’t make me happy. As much as I wish I could love you as much as you deserve to be loved, my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Please, do not apologize. My instinct told me it was all too good to be true, and if you have no feelings for me, I’d rather you stop this, and I’ll wait for the right woman.”

Chastity’s heart swelled with relief. “You’re much too wise, Lord Wardbury.”

He took her hands in his and squeezed them, his dark eyes filling with warmth, and his face spreading with a kind smile. “The Duke of Luhst is most fortunate, though he doesn’t deserve you.”

Before she could react, there was a noise from the doors. She turned her head and froze in shock. Lucien stood in the entrance with Stella, who looked like a proper princess in her cute bonnet and a fashionable child’s gown. She was clean and coiffed and looked healthy and in good humor, settled comfortably on his hip, her arms around his neck.

While she looked at Lucien, his gaze took in the scene. She and Lord Wardbury standing close, his hands holding hers. The bishop standing by the altar.

The expression of gut-wrenching pain on his face split her own heart in two. Just as she opened her mouth to call for him, Lucien slipped back through the doors and was gone.