Chapter 22

22

“Lucien,” Chastity said to Lucien’s back.

He was laughing and smiling as he talked to the dukes, Lady Osborn, and Mrs. Bernet in the garden. It was the afternoon of the next day, and she hadn’t seen him since the rehearsal.

Lady Osborn, resplendent in her burgundy gown that accentuated her generous curves, had practically draped herself over Lucien’s arm. Her blond hair gleamed in the sunlight as she leaned in close, whispering something that made Lucien’s lips quirk into a half smile. On his other side, Mrs. Bernet stood unnecessarily close, her body angled towards him as if drawn by some magnetic force.

Chastity’s stomach churned with a mixture of jealousy and inadequacy. These women were everything she was not—worldly, seductive, and clearly comfortable in their own skin. Had Lucien succumbed to their charms, breaking his vow of abstinence and losing their bet, only four days before the house party would end? The thought sent a sharp pain through her chest.

He turned. The smile evaporated from his face… His violet eyes had a tinge of ice behind them. The other dukes and both women looked at her, but she didn’t care.

“I wondered why you declined the role of Romeo,” she said. “It seemed you were keen to do it, but today I learned that Lord Wardbury is to be Romeo after all.”

The Duke of Pryde eyed Lucien coolly; the Duke of Enveigh did, as well.

“Indeed,” said Lucien.

Why was he so distant? Was it just her, or had their rehearsal of the balcony scene held promises beyond anything they’d spoken of? She was filled with such hope and enthusiasm after the rehearsal. Despite her doubts, she’d allowed herself to imagine it might all be possible. Both that Lucien could be hers, and that she could be the woman she’d always wanted to be.

“Indeed, I withdrew from the role,” Lucien said coldly. “I should have never taken it in the first place.”

Her shoulders slackened. “Pardon?”

Around them, the guests were standing in groups or sitting at tables set for tea with pastries and sandwiches and decorated with gorgeous displays of flowers. As usual, Lady Virtoux gossiped with Miss Rixon and other ladies, throwing sharp glances at Chastity, which made a sense of unease drag a claw down her back. Mr. Audley chatted with an older gentleman while Captain Harrington stood surrounded by three ladies but kept looking at Chastity.

Miss Anne Rose—happily engaged—chirped in delight with Lord Chans, leaning over their table, her cheeks blushing and his gaze dark and appreciative on her lips. Patience and Dorian stood too close together at some distance from them, expressions of true happiness lighting them both from inside. A bolt of envy struck through Chastity at the sight.

“It wasn’t my place to show off my knowledge of Shakespeare or to show Lord Wardbury how to act like a man in love while I never intended anything serious to ensue.”

Her stomach dropped. That was what he was saying, wasn’t it? That he had made a mistake. Not with the Romeo and Juliet scene.

But with her.

She nodded, stepping back. She had missed him since yesterday. Wondered where he was, asked the dukes if they had seen him, but they’d all said he wasn’t in the mood to be with guests.

She should have known then. She should have listened to her inner voice. Should have never cast reason aside. It was her treacherous body that was guided by the lust Lucien had ignited in her. She was a smart woman. She should have listened to her mind and ignored her bodily urges, should never have believed even for a moment that a man like Lucien would have serious intentions towards someone like her.

“Forgive me,” she said, her voice cracking. “I have the confirmation I had suspected. I will return to rehearse with Lord Wardbury, then.”

Some sort of ache flickered in Lucien’s violet eyes. She didn’t care. She should have known he was pursuing her only because he was celibate and she was forbidden to him. She had become the embodiment of all his wishes and desires.

It was her body that had made her believe his hints about marriage, about change. He wouldn’t change. Had she listened with her cold, scientific mind, she’d have heard his true message. He was who he was. And she was who she was. After the thirty-day house party was over, and he was free from their bet, he’d return to his normal life.And she’d be left as yet another one of his conquests, the one he’d found a way to seduce even while remaining celibate.

Hurt clasped its claws around her windpipe. Her eyes burned with tears. She needed to go, leave before she made a scene or made her distress known to all of them. Especially to Lucien.She was not going to beg for his attention. She had been a fool to let him in, to let herself imagine an impossible future.

The best thing was to focus on her mind, as she’d done her entire life, and forget the feelings and sensations he’d awoken in her.

“I wish you a wonderful afternoon, gentlemen.” She nodded to the three dukes. “Excuse me.” Before her tears could spring forth, she hurried out of the garden. She needed only a moment alone.

As she walked quickly away from the terrace, passing through the formal gardens, she approached the little hedge maze that was fifty or so feet away and to her right. She could still feel curious eyes on her.

Just don’t cry in public. Don’t you dare show it.

She turned around the corner of the maze and leaned against the wall of leaves and twigs, fighting for air through a knot in her throat and prickly tears, through her swollen nose and the sensation that she was going to suffocate.

“Lady Chastity,” came a male voice, and she shuddered, opening her eyes.

She quickly wiped her eyes to see Mr. Audley, who must have followed her here.

“Are you unwell?” he asked, holding out a handkerchief to her, his deep, soulful brown eyes filled with real concern.

“Quite well, thank you,” she said as she took the handkerchief with one hand. The other was on her stomach. She couldn’t quite take enough air, her muscles constricted. “Just a little flustered. I wanted a bit of fresh air.”

“Of course.” He looked back at the other guests. “There wasn’t enough of that next to Pryde Manor with all those people gathered together, I suppose.”

She dabbed at her damp eyes and chuckled. Thankfully, she managed to keep her tears back. “Mr. Audley, you have a remarkable aptitude for acute observation.”

He chuckled back. “I…er…I hope your brother wouldn’t find it disagreeable we’re alone right now.”

“I’m afraid my brother probably would, but don’t concern yourself with him.”

“Well,” he said. “I came after you as I saw your distress. May I inquire whether it is caused by Lord Wardbury or the Duke of Luhst?”

She cleared her throat and looked down at her shoes. “Nothing escapes you.”

“No. I don’t think it does. The Duke of Luhst made quite a performance for your benefit yesterday. I was quite sure he would make a claim on you. Has he upset you?”

“You’re mistaken. He has no claim on me, nor will he make one. Lucien and my brother are best friends, brothers so to say. So, I have known Lucien since we were children. We’re friends, that is all.”

He nodded and grinned. “I was right about you, Lady Chastity. You’re quite a mystery. One I find myself increasingly inspired to uncover.”

Chastity’s smile fell as Mr. Audley stared at her with intensity, and acute interest. “Mr. Audley—” she began.

“Lady Chastity,” he interrupted. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since you appeared in that emerald gown. When we talked, I became enthralled with your intellect and your education. Your spirit and your beauty. In fact, I was so inspired, I have written poems every day since. And they are all about jewel tones and an acute intellect and the wisdom of an owl.”

Chastity blinked. Did he just compare her to an owl? He reached into his pockets and removed a handful of papers.

“May I read you one? ‘Ode to Lady Chastity,’” he proclaimed, and then continued to read:

“In halls of knowledge, where tomes reside,

A vision of beauty and wisdom, side by side.

Lady Chastity, with eyes of sapphire hue,

A mind as sharp as Athena’s, and just as true…”

He kept reading, but Chastity’s mind drifted, as her ears rang in shock. No one had ever written a poem for her…and he’d written several?

“And here, another,” he said and read a poem that was quite different from the previous one but also described her beauty and her wits, and how easily she led a conversation. How she understood people and what a hidden gem she was. How he had never met a woman with such an acute understanding of human nature.

Chastity’s mouth opened and closed. She? Understood human nature?

Good Lord, could a man be any more wrong about her?

Social skills were her weakest quality. She had managed to get better thanks to Lucien’s help, but she was still mostly pretending, hiding behind questions. Half of the time she was terrified her conversation partner would ask a question about her, and she’d need to share something true about herself.

“Mr. Audley, these are very lovely, and you’re such a talented poet, but?—”

“Before you say anything,” he said and dropped to one knee. Horror sleeked down her spine as he took her hand in his. “I am aware that, despite all your amazing qualities, my family might object to your age. But it matters naught to me. I’m ready to fight for you. Just imagine evenings of literary discourse we could have together, how your feedback could improve my poems, my short stories, my novels… Please, do me the greatest honor and become my wife.”

Chastity withdrew her hand from his grasp. Heavens above, was this the sensation one experienced upon receiving an offer of marriage? It was most disagreeable, positively alarming, and caused her a great deal of discomposure. Despite her age?

She cleared her throat. “Mr. Audley…” She needed to leave. She stepped to her side and closer to the entrance of the maze. “I am terribly honored. I…er… May I think about this?”

“Of course,” he said as he stood up. “Please think about it and let me know. I will go to your brother to ask his blessing right away.”

She nodded to him, the need to run away and escape this tightening her core. “Thank you,” she said.

What does one say when one receives an unexpected proposal? Lucien had just rejected her, or at least that was what it felt like. And to now receive an offer? She couldn’t wrap her head around her feelings and her relationship with Lucien. What was she supposed to think about this?

She nodded to him again and hurried away, farther from the manor and the gathering of guests. She needed a place to think, to sit and breathe and just be alone. She had been with other people every day since the beginning of the house party, while normally she spent the majority of her days doing experiments, reading, writing. Thinking.

In solitude.

As she walked past the hedge maze, and back through the formal garden, she saw a charming gazebo overgrown with ivy and wisteria at the very end. With her head spinning, she walked to it and sat down on a bench under the beautiful round roof. She sighed as she put her fingers against her lips and looked past the pristine white marble columns to the pond. She listened to the birds chirping, and the very distant murmur of voices from the terrace. Bees and flies buzzed by. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the column, breathing.

Her mind whirred with questions…still shocked from the marriage offer.

She had received a marriage proposal. It was not from Lord Wardbury, but it was still a proposal. She was seen as an attractive female, and smart one, too. Mr. Audley had valued both of those qualities in her.

The old Chastity of only a few weeks ago, clad in grays and browns, wouldn’t have believed this was the result.

“Lady Chastity,” said a male voice, and she jumped in her seat, her eyes flying open.

Captain Harrington stood by the steps of the gazebo, his arms locked behind his back, watching her. He was in his military uniform again, quite handsome and striking—a true military man, with his shoulders and back straight and his square jaw. An honorable man.

“Captain.” She laid her hand on her chest. “I apologize for my surprise.”

“Please, it is I who should offer an apology for giving you a fright,” he said. “I never meant to. May I join you?”

What could she possibly say to express she desired solitude? It would be quite rude to send him away. She should have gone to her room if she wished true solitude. “Yes, of course,” she said, gesturing to the bench next to her.

He took his seat. “I—I did ask your brother if I might join you while you were alone, so he’s aware we’re here.”

Chastity glanced back at the terrace a hundred or so feet away and found Dorian’s tall figure standing next to Lucien’s. Lady Osborn still hovered next to Lucien, and Chastity’s gut ached with jealousy. Dorian’s black coat and crimson waistcoat were hard to miss, and he was turned in her direction, his gaze seemingly on her.

“Oh,” she said. “Well then, I suppose we do not need to worry about a chaperone.”

“Right,” he said as he sat down. “He also gave me his blessing.”

She felt blood drain from her face. “He… Forgive me, what?”

“He gave me his blessing.”

Even so many feet away, she could feel Lucien’s eyes boring into her. Did Lucien hear the captain ask for Dorian’s blessing?

“It has only been a few weeks since I met you,” the captain said, and she looked at him. His handsome face was stricken with emotion, his eyes soft and tender on her. “But I’ve come to know you, and the moments where we conversed have been the happiest of my life.”

The happiest of his life? Heavens, all she did was ask him questions and use him as her conversational training partner. How could they be the happiest moments of his life?

She thought of her happiest moments—all of them had Lucien in them. The moments when they were stuck in that house in the middle of the storm. The talks they had. The night when he climbed up to her room. Their whole childhood together.

Those were happy days. How could her simple questions make this handsome captain so happy?

“I find you the most interesting woman I’ve ever met,” he said. “Your beauty, your modesty, your acute intellect, your passion for helping the less fortunate… I am enthralled, Lady Chastity.”

Enthralled? With her?

What was going on? It was as though she was living in a completely different body, in a completely different life.

“I have much to offer you. I know I’m well below your birth, but I have a thriving career before me, an excellent income, and the high respect of my peers. I hope to show you the waters of the Caribbean one day, and all those places you said you would love to see.”

Her mouth was dry, and she licked her lips nervously. “I’m sure you are much too modest, Captain, and you have a great deal to offer, indeed… However?—”

“It is clear to every man here that you’re a rare jewel, despite your advanced years,” he said.

Advanced years?

“Believe me,” he continued. “I am keenly aware of how unworthy I am of your attentions and affections. After all, you have spent these past years without suitors, as no gentleman could offer you a match befitting your station and incomparable qualities. But I would like to prove to you that I am, indeed, that man.”

He paused, his eyes shining with determination. “Please, Lady Chastity,” he continued, dropping to one knee before her.

She gasped, her mind reeling. Good heavens, this was the second man in half an hour to offer her marriage! What in the world was occurring?

“Would you bestow upon me the greatest honor,” he pressed on, seemingly oblivious to her shock, “and consent to become my wife?”

She jumped up, her cheeks heated, her chest constricting. Why were ladies after this marriage proposal business? This was horrible! She couldn’t breathe! She had used both Mr. Audley and Captain Harrington for her exercises, for her selfish reasons, and they’d taken her attentions as signs of genuine interest.

Yes, she liked them both well enough. Mr. Audley and she shared a love of literature. Captain Harrington and she connected on the topic of adventures and explorations. None were reasons to marry and spend the rest of their lives together…especially when her heart belonged to someone else.

“I beg your pardon, Captain,” she said as she backed away from him towards the stairs of the gazebo. “I am not feeling well. Thank you for the honor of your offer. Please allow me time to consider it.”

He stood up, concern on his face. “Of course, Lady Chastity, er?—”

Suddenly, she felt nothing under her foot and toppled backwards.

Thankfully, her fall was only the height of two stairs, and the grass that cushioned her back and behind was soft.

The captain hurried to her and helped her stand up. She felt like a complete fool, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She was a jest!

“Thank you,” she said again, breathless. “Have a good day!”

Then she hurried away as fast as she could without running, her mind reeling.

Two marriage proposals in one day…

But neither from the man she wanted.