4. Pickup Lines

Pickup Lines

GAbrIELLA

“You steal that line from an eighties movie? Or is that seriously how pathetic boys around here are?” I look down at the gorgeous guy who’s trying too hard to seem casual as his tanned cheeks turn a slightly darker shade. The way his eyes narrow lead me to believe he’s more annoyed than embarrassed, so I up my game a little. “You can drop the lines. I’d rather talk to a real man than a boy with no game.”

It takes everything in me to stifle the giggle that wants to erupt from the way his cheeks go even darker. Now that’s the colour of embarrassment.

“Oh, I’m all man baby, I can show you if you want to go find somewhere a little more private.”

“Now see, only a boy would need to establish how much of a real man he is. Sorry kid, but you’re just not man enough. Maybe in a few years when your balls have dropped.” I tap my chin as though thinking, “On second thought, don’t bother then either, you’re just not my type.” For shits and giggles, I nod my head towards the identical twin of the man in front of me, “Someone more like him is my taste.”

“What? But he’s my twin. Identical. Th… but… uh….” I pat his head with a straight face, “Don’t worry honey, even identical twins mature at different rates. I’m sure you’ll catch up to him in a few years. You might even be capable of using big words and acting like a gentleman one day.” To really rub it in, I give his twin a little finger wave before turning my back on their little group and walk away.

It takes my student liaison less than three seconds to get over her shock and burst out laughing. “Oh my god! Do you have any idea what you’ve just done? Those guys have never been denied. Not ever! I can’t believe you just did that.”