Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Whoever had coined the phrase “love hurts” had sure as fuck known what they were talking about.

Although in his less dramatic moments, Delton was fair enough to question if you could call it love if you’d never exchanged more than a few words with someone, but that was more of a theoretical debate. Whether he was in love with Adar or had attached himself to the alpha because he’d been convinced they were mates was irrelevant. The bottom line was that seeing Adar with Oliver had hurt.

Though funnily enough, not as much as Delton had expected. Probably because he’d recognized Oliver had truly needed Adar.

Like many betas he knew, Delton had mixed feelings about heats. They were hard to understand for someone who didn’t experience them because they were so intense. But the bigger reason was that they had an emotional component, a level of neediness and dependence that appealed to most alphas. Kind of hard for betas to compete with that, especially ones as smart and independent as Delton.

He’d seen fellow beta friends force themselves to become more like omegas, displaying a similar cleanliness, though far more artificial. He’d never understood that. What was the point of getting someone to like you based on an act that wasn’t you? As if you could keep that up for the rest of your life? At some point, the real you emerged, and what would happen then? One pissed-off alpha, that was what.

But watching Oliver and his heat’s effect on Adar had been eye-opening. The alpha had done everything in his power to make it a good experience for Oliver, but he had been uncomfortable at times. Not in a judgmental sense, though. Delton had watched both men throughout the experience and hadn’t seen any judgment in Adar’s attitude or expression.

No, it had been a discomfort rooted in something else, and if Delton had to take a guess, it had to do with Adar being well aware Oliver was asking him to do things he wouldn’t normally want. And that, in a nutshell, was the biggest reason Delton had such a hard time with the concept of a heat. Any biological process that made you lose control and crave things you didn’t want was a problem in his eyes. And watching Oliver had only reinforced that opinion.

Gods, the moment Oliver realized what he’d asked Delton… The pure shame and self-hatred in his eyes had been almost too much to take. Delton had wanted to hug him, reassure him he understood, but Oliver’s mind hadn’t been clear enough to process that. Heartbreaking to see someone battle a force he had no chance of controlling.

That, too, had hurt. And as time had gone on, interestingly enough, empathy for Oliver had overpowered Delton’s feelings of being left out, of having to watch the man he’d pined after for so long be with someone else. In the end, compassion had won out. Delton would’ve felt proud of himself if not for the bitter taste it left in his mouth because how could he not feel sorry for that poor omega? Kind of hard to pat himself on the back for being human, wasn’t it?

He’d hoped Oliver would seek him out, that he would make good on his agreement to talk to Delton. But alas, in the two weeks after his heat, the omega had avoided Delton. Not that he had tried hard to find him, wanting to leave the initiative where it belonged.

He never chased patients. At the beginning of his career, yes, but he’d soon found out that if people didn’t choose therapy themselves, the results were often abysmal. As cliché as it was to state that someone wasn’t ready to talk, it was often true. So Delton had learned to wait until his patients came to him.

“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

Sivney plopped down on the soft grass next to Delton, who had found a perfect shady spot under a big tree to read. Not that he had gotten far in his book, his mind too distracted by other things.

“It is.”

“How have you been?”

Delton looked sideways and chuckled. “Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind? Small talk isn’t your forte.”

Sivney rolled his eyes. “I know. But I was checking in with you, seeing if you were okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you had to watch the man you’ve been in love with for god know how long have endless sex with someone else?”

Delton inhaled so sharply that his lungs seized, and it took a good thirty seconds of furious coughing to catch his breath again.

“Sorry, sorry…” Sivney awkwardly patted his shoulder. “Clearly, I should’ve given you a warning before saying that.”

“You think?”

“I thought you knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I was aware of your…feelings for Adar.”

Kill. Him. Now. “I wouldn’t call them feelings. More of an…”

“Obsession?”

Delton sighed, throwing up his hands. “Whatever. I don’t know the right word for it, and recognizing, identifying, and labeling emotions is my job, so there you have it.”

“You thought he was your mate.”

What was the point of denying it? “I did. Until Oliver showed up.”

“You don’t think the three of you could be mates?”

Delton’s shoulders sagged. “In all the time I’ve been here, Adar has never looked at me twice. He didn’t even talk to me, not until he asked me to supervise him during Oliver’s heat.”

Sivney put his hand on Delton’s arm. “I didn’t know about that. If I had, I swear I would’ve stopped it. Why didn’t you say no?”

If Delton had sensed even an ounce of pity in Sivney’s demeanor, he would’ve walked away. But it was compassion and understanding, not the omega feeling sorry for him, and that Delton could accept. “Because Adar’s request was reasonable, and if it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have hesitated. He was looking out for Oliver, and knowing what I did about what that poor guy has been through, how could I not do what was in my power to ensure his safety and well-being?”

Sivney squeezed his arm, then let go. “That speaks volumes about your character. I’m not sure I could have done it had it been Naran.”

“That’s different. You’re in love with Naran. Adar and I have never exchanged more than a few words, polite pleasantries at best. I can hardly claim to have a relationship with him, not to the extent where this would be a conflict of interest.”

“You can debate me all you want, but I stand by what I said. You’re a class act, Delton, and what you did for Oliver came at a personal sacrifice. I want you to know I’ve seen that, and I’m not the only one.”

Delton froze. “Please, for the love of everything, tell me it isn’t common knowledge that I was hoping for Adar and me to be together.”

“Common knowledge? I wouldn’t go that far, but you two have been the topic of conversation and speculation more than once. But never in a bad way. We were rooting for you, and I still am.”

“Well, you’re going to have to be rooting for me and someone else because it’s sure as fuck not going to be Adar. Not when he’s so devoted to Oliver.”

“You really don’t think you could be the third in their relationship?”

Delton firmly shook his head. “Not a chance. You should see the way Adar looks at Oliver…” He swallowed the tightness in his throat. “I know most relationships here are triads, but I think Adar and Oliver might be the exception. They have a connection, one I could never match. Even if I tried and, by some miracle, they let me in, I would always be the odd one out, the third wheel. I would always feel like an add-on, never wanted or needed but merely tolerated. Sorry, but I value myself too much to settle for a relationship like that.”

“Nor should you. I’m not convinced you’re right, but I understand your line of reasoning. And I have to admit it’s hard to deny the bond between those two. Adar hasn’t let Oliver out of his sight since the day he arrived.”

“And Oliver doesn’t trust any alpha except Adar. That alone tells you everything you need to know.”

“I’m sorry. I truly am. Like I said, I was rooting for you. You deserve it.”

Delton took a deep breath. “Thank you. I appreciate that. But don’t feel sorry for me, not when Adar never rejected me.” He let out a little laugh that sounded more bitter than he had wanted. “The man never even knew I existed, so kind of hard to be upset with him, right?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I don’t think feelings care much for fairness, but you should know that better than I do.”

“You can’t choose what you feel or who you feel it for, but you can choose what to do with those feelings. And I’m choosing to let go. The last thing I want is to be known as the guy who, even years later, is still harboring hope of getting together with a man who’s been in a happy relationship for a long time. I can’t be that guy. Now, please, can we talk about something else?”

“The mission to rescue Queen Grian is leaving tomorrow morning while Rhene and Erwan head to Sweden for the Dragon Council,” Sivney said, not missing a beat.

“Good, good. How many people are going on the mission?”

“More than I wanted, so it leaves us a bit vulnerable here. That’s why we’re asking everyone to suspend their normal jobs and focus on our security and safety.”

“I have two patients scheduled tomorrow. You want me to cancel those?”

“If you can, yes, please. We want everyone to be available at all times.”

“No problem. I can do that.”

Sivney pushed himself up and stood, then looked down at Delton. “Both Adar and Oliver are taking part in the mission. Just thought you’d want to know.”

With a last nod at Delton, Sivney walked away, and Delton sagged against the tree. So Sivney had known, and he wasn’t the only one. Delton thought he’d been discreet in his attraction to Adar, but apparently not. Dammit.