Chapter 16

16

Simon approached the intake desk where Anya sat with her head bowed over her laptop.

“I’ll be right with you,” she said without looking up.

An evil thought occurred to him, and he tapped the sign-in pen on the counter, watching her type with harder and harder presses. She still hadn’t looked up.

He bit back a smile and pitched his voice higher than normal. “Excuse me, I’ve been standing here for almost thirty seconds and haven’t been seen by anyone yet.”

Anya closed her eyes. “Please just give me one. Minute . You’ll—” She opened her eyes, and they flew wide.

Simon grinned.

“You shit ! I am so getting you back for that. Triage duty. Forever. Starting now.”

“You don’t have that kind of power.”

“I will acquire that kind of power. Just for you, Simon.” She closed her laptop and stood, heading toward the break room. “And what are you doing here anyway?”

He followed her into the baby-blue space and leaned a hip against the laminate counter while she stored the computer. “Brought a friend to visit our firefighter.”

Anya raised one eyebrow. “Does this happen to be the same ‘friend’”—she punctuated the word with air quotes—“who wouldn’t agree to be treated until you threatened her? The same one you were found with after falling out of a helicopter? You know, the one who was butt naked?”

“The very same.”

Anya spread her hands. “Now you’re showing up to work with her? Bit of a turnaround, don’t you think?”

“I’m not at work, remember?”

“Save your semantics for arguing with your grandparents.” She wagged her finger at him. “It’s me, Simon. Are you okay?”

Simon hesitated. He couldn’t tell Anya the truth about Lilis. But Anya was a good friend, and she deserved more than he was giving her.

“I can’t explain how I survived because I don’t understand it myself.” Simon chose his words carefully. “I was surrounded by fire, trying to figure out which way I could go that would get me the fewest burns. Not no burns, Anya. Just fewer than any other path I took. Lilis literally charged through the fire to get me out. I didn’t see what happened to her clothing. But I can tell you this”—he rapped his knuckles on the wooden doorframe—“I am only alive because of her.”

Anya’s doubtful expression softened as he spoke, and she drew him into a hug. “In that case, I’m really grateful for her.”

Simon held her tightly, breathing a sigh of relief. “Can I buy you a terrible cafeteria lunch?”

Anya narrowed her eyes. “Save your money. I’m off now, and Layla’s picking me up in about fifteen minutes, so I don’t have time for food. How about a coffee?”

Simon flushed. It sucked she knew how broke he was, but he was deeply thankful that she wouldn’t let him dip into funds that weren’t there. “Deal.”

They sat on one of the benches on the grounds of the hospital complex, sipping lukewarm coffee from plastic mugs. Cars with frustrated drivers honked at one another, and a few enterprising squirrels investigated them from a distance close enough to dart in for crumbs but far enough away to not get swatted.

The normalcy of a daily routine, of just sitting with one of his closest friends, relaxed Simon. For a few minutes, he reveled in the ability to set demons aside. “How’s Layla?”

“You mean other than being a full-time sex bomb?” She sighed at the mention of her wife. “Amazing. Hey, that reminds me. You should come to her office for an adjustment. You want to make sure nothing’s out of alignment after your fall.”

Simon grimaced. “No thanks. I don’t need Layla twisting me like a pretzel until I snap in two.”

“She’s a chiropractor, Simon. You make it sound like she’s going to put you on a rack.”

“I’m good, thanks.” He shivered as a fleeting memory zipped into his brain and left just as quickly as it had come. Something about whips.

“You okay?”

He nodded. “You ever get déjà vu?”

“Everyone does. Why?”

“I’ve been getting it a ton lately.”

“About the same thing?”

Simon shook his head. “Different each time. Sometimes, I just get the regular sensation. You know, the feeling you’ve already done whatever you’re doing in that moment. Lasts for a few seconds, and then it’s gone. And recently, I’ve been having dreams that feel like something I’ve done before. Never thought I’d get déjà vu in my dreams.”

Anya furrowed her brows. “Simon, you need to get that checked out. Occasional déjà vu is normal, but frequent? And extended in the form of a dream? That could be a sign of brain trauma.”

“Or stress and lack of sleep. Come on, Anya, I’m not a first-year pre-med. There are lots of causes of those types of sensations, not all of them linked to head trauma.”

“And if you’d asked my grandfather, he’d say you’re regaining lost memories from past lives.” She snorted.

But her words echoed within a part of Simon. As though the part of him that kept coughing up random thoughts and memories was resonating with a tuning fork. He shivered and shoved the thought aside.

Oblivious to his thoughts, Anya shook her head. “You really wanna play Pin The Symptom On The Cause by yourself? That’s what our diagnostics department is for.”

Not if it wastes everyone’s time when I never hit the ground. But he couldn’t say that out loud. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good.”

A small silver car pulled up, and the passenger side window rolled down, revealing an Egyptian woman with long brown hair. Layla waved to Simon as Anya stood and gave him a quick hug. “Do me a favor and stay away from the hospital, would you? No more falling from helicopters, no more friend visits, and definitely no more work when you’re off. Or I really will make sure you’re on the schedule. Neither of us wants that.”

“Deal.”

Simon leaned back against the bench with a yawn as Layla and Anya drove off. I need more sleep .

Last night hadn’t helped. Having Lilis in his bed, nestled in his arms and pressed against him, her warm and naked body filling his hands, had done nothing for his ability to find rest. But she’d passed out so quickly after laying down that he’d had to content himself with simply holding her.

Sleep had relaxed her features, making her appear more vulnerable without her semi-permanent scowl. He knew she hid lifetimes of pain, tucked away where she thought no one could see it. But Simon did. It bubbled under the surface of her anger, waiting to take her over if she wasn’t careful.

So he’d stayed awake as long as possible, ready to fight for her, keep her safe against nightmares and her own demons.

And when she’d sighed and snuggled closer to him, his heart had melted, and he’d finally relaxed. The cool evening air blowing through his window had lulled him into a peaceful, deep slumber.

Until his dream. Like the one in the forest, he’d imagined the two of them together. Dreamed he was already inside her, making slow, sweet love to her on the roof of a large cathedral. But his body hadn’t quite been his own. It had behaved like a marionette with an invisible puppeteer. There were so many things he’d wanted to do. Hold her, stroke her differently. Taste her. And he hadn’t been able to do any of it. Instead, he’d mumbled out words that sounded like French and had woken up with an erection that threatened to drill straight through her back.

He’d almost forgotten the dream entirely until he’d called her… whatever he’d said that had spooked her. His stomach tightened at the way she’d frozen against him, the way her pain had beaten at him in waves despite her best efforts to hold it in check.

I didn’t know you spoke French .

Brain trauma could cause a whole host of language and speech problems. But it certainly didn’t teach someone a brand-new language. And he’d never suffered a head injury.

Damn.

Thinking of injuries and the body healing itself reminded Simon of his test next week. He was already several days behind on studying. If he didn’t pass this assessment, he’d struggle to recoup his grade on the next several. And if he failed, he wouldn’t be able to retake the course for another two years.

Don’t think about it now.

Today was the best time for him and Lilis to spend some quality time together. Away from his grandparents and the looming test, away from demons and fires and asshole firefighters. Today was just about Simon Kai and Lilis Gerru.

And whoever else his brain decided to cough up between now and then. Anya had joked about past lives. Could it really be that the person he became in each of his dreams had actually been him in another time? Another life?

Simon shook his head. The people streaming by, faces bent over glowing phones, earbuds drowning out the world, with grins and frowns and worries and fears and places to be… They were real. Treating people, helping them heal or failing to do so. Those were the tangible parts of life.

Not reincarnation and magic.

Magic. How in the hell could he deny that when he was basically dating a real-life dragon?

And if people could be reincarnated into other lives, what were the chances his parents had been born again? They could be teenagers, living in different parts of the world, never knowing each other, and certainly never remembering him.

Simon slumped.

He’d never enjoyed religion or subscribed to any part of it. He’d done what his grandparents had demanded and left the rest in a heap. Things like reincarnation and rebirth had gone in one ear and out the other.But there was one tiny scrap of religion he’d tucked away in his younger years and clung to desperately as he’d gotten older: the thought that his parents were somewhere peaceful, watching over him and proud. And that, someday, they could all be reunited. But maybe they hadn’t been given that choice.

Don’t think about that either.

Better to think up ways to make Lilis his, if only for the day. His clothing constricted his hardening body. She wanted him. He could read it in her eyes every time she looked at him. Could feel it in her touches when he kissed her. If he couldn’t get her to let him soothe her heart, maybe he could convince her to let him bring her pleasure. Tomorrow was uncertain, but today was theirs.

Today, I make her mine.