Chapter 4

Ari

T hat morning, I put the appeal of Salas’s case on the schedule of the Royal Council and finished the list of the speaking points I planned to make to defend him.

In the afternoon, Gem found me on the patio off the east wing’s drawing room. I got some free time between lunch with my parents and the formal dinner with the dignitaries from the Queendom of Tresed, and I decided to spend it outside, enjoying the sunshine with my new puppy.

Ria was an adorable white fluffy fur ball from the litter of my father’s lap dogs. I fell in love with her at first sight and claimed her for my own before her eyes had even opened. She was an energetic little creature but tired quickly, and now was sleeping on my lap, looking like a pile of snow-white fuzz and cuteness.

Gem got straight to the point. “So, how about a trip to the theater tomorrow?”

I released a long breath, “I take it you spoke to the queen?”

“I did.” Gem grinned.

Mother trusted me with many important tasks, but she clearly believed I could use some help with this one, sending Gem for assistance.

I splayed a hand on Ria’s soft side. “All right. What play is being performed in the theater this month?”

Gem shrugged. “Does it matter?”

“Not really,” I agreed.

The purpose of this visit wouldn’t be to watch the play but to ogle the male actors in hopes that one of them might catch my fancy. Was Mother right to suggest that I would find “a delicate, artistic type” harmless enough to invite to bed with me?

What was my type, anyway?

No matter what man I tried to envision in my bed, unease crawled up my arms and down my back with a nasty pricking sensation.

I didn’t fear an emotional intimacy with a man. I was even looking forward to finding a true friend in my future husband. In Rorrim, I finally saw what a happy or at least a content marriage looked like.

My new parents shared a friendship and a deep respect for each other. Their union was not a love match, it couldn’t be, considering Mother’s position. Her parents carefully selected Father from a long list of young princes. Mother had seen Father only a handful of times before they were married. Practically strangers at first, they’d grown to genuinely care for each other over the years.

I’d never witnessed them raise their voices, not to mention hands, to each other. I’d never seen Mother deny my father anything, either. Whatever he’d asked for, she made sure he had it. Though, his requests were always reasonable.

Mother clearly enjoyed spending time with Father. I’d seen them walk hand-in-hand in the park whenever her busy schedule allowed for some free time. They had separate bedrooms as their station required, but everyone in the palace knew their physical relationship remained strong. Mother visited Father’s chambers regularly, and she kept no other lovers or favorites.

I wanted that—someone who’d be my best friend, to whom I could come home to after a long day of meetings and politics, someone I could trust completely and be myself with, away from any pretense or intrigue, someone I could hug whenever I needed it and who would hold and support me back. Someone I, too, could walk hand-in-hand with in the park and have conversations that flowed as easily as a brook through the soft ground in a forest.

I hoped to find that in my future husband, just like Mother had found it in Father.

But that was not what Gem had been tasked to help me with. For now, all I needed was someone to have a night of sex with.

It shouldn’t take longer than one night, should it? I didn’t need passion. I just had to go through with it once to know what to expect the next time. That should hopefully be enough to calm my nerves before the wedding night, so that I wouldn’t embarrass the Crown of Rorrim in front of my virginal husband.

Gem dragged a wicker chair next to mine and sat in it. Hiking her long skirts up past her knees, she propped her feet onto the low parapet at the end of the patio, exposing her bare legs to sunshine.

“Don’t worry, Ari,” she said with an encouraging lift in her voice. “We’ll find you someone who knows what he’s doing. He’ll teach you all the fun things about sex.”

I gave her an incredulous look. “Fun? Really? At this point, it honestly feels like a chore.”

“I imagine it could be. Especially when you have to worry about that pesky procreation duty. But it doesn’t mean you can’t also enjoy sex for what it is—pure pleasure.”

“Enjoy” and “pleasure” were used in the same sentences as “sex” so often, I had to believe there must be some fun in that activity.

“Gem. Can women really enjoy sex?”

She smirked. “Why else do you think so many of us end up in the gladiators’ rooms after the Games?” She leaned closer, lowering her voice. “Do you ever touch yourself, cousin?”

“Well... Sometimes.” I cleared my throat, trying to sound casual, but my face heated with blush.

“That’s fine, sweetie. Women can talk about things like that among ourselves. There is no harm in getting yourself off every now and then. It’s pleasant, isn’t it? And healthy. It helps with tension relief and such.”

I stroked Ria’s warm, silky fur. The gesture soothed and grounded me.

“Now imagine,” Gem continued, “there are two more hands and a tongue helping you come.”

“A tongue?” My mouth fell open.

“Right.” She sighed with a soft moan. “Frankly, a tongue is the best body part that Goddess gave to a man. Some are also very good with their fingers. But fingering requires some added finesse not all of them possess, sadly.”

I stared straight ahead, processing what she’d just said. My knowledge about sex was mostly theoretical. I’d never discussed it with anyone in such detail before. Right after my arrival to Rorrim, I was deemed too young for the courtiers to even mention sex in my presence. After a certain age, people just assumed that I already knew everything about it, even though none had bothered to teach me. All my knowledge came from the comments and innuendoes that I’d overheard while coming of age at the royal court and from the horrific experiences in my old world.

A pair of workers made their way around a corner tower of the palace’s east wing and past the lily pond with goldfish. The two were fixing a garden path by laying decorative bricks into a pattern over the hard-packed dirt and gravel.

Today seemed even hotter than yesterday. Both women had their shirts off to keep cool in the heat. The younger one had a comfortable bandeau-style top to support her voluptuous breasts. The older woman had smaller chest and chose to forgo a top or a bra altogether. All she had on were loose cotton pants and work boots, in addition to a leather apron that protected her thighs and chest when she carried a stack of bricks from behind the tower.

I watched them work for a few moments.

“What kind of pleasure can a man possibly derive from, you know... licking a woman down there?” I wondered out loud.

Gem ran a hand over her chestnut hair that had already been twisted into an up-do for the upcoming dinner but without any heavy adornments in it yet.

“Why would you worry about a man’s pleasure, Ari? Men are simple creatures. They like sex and reach their completion without any effort on our part. He’ll be there for you, not the other way around.”

“But how about my future husband? Wouldn’t I have to make sure he reaches his ‘completion’ in order to impregnate me with the heiress to the queendom?”

She tilted her head, playing with a dangling ruby earring in her ear.

“You have to keep in mind that sex with your husband has a different purpose than sex with a lover. One is for procreation. The other one is purely for pleasure. You wouldn’t do the same things with your husband that you do with a lover.” She winced at such a possibility. “It just wouldn’t be right.”

“So, the husband wouldn’t use his tongue?” I smiled through a sudden tightening in my chest.

The idea of people licking each other seemed fun, but a wisp of horror sneaked out from the dark memories that I wished I’d forgotten long ago. I shut my eyes and dropped my head down to hide my face from Gem while I trumped down on those memories, forcing them into the farthest corners of my awareness.

I’m not going to remember.

My past is not my future.

It has no power over me.

Not now, not ever.

I repeated in my head ad nauseam, until the shadows of the past had been contained once again and all that remained was sunshine and Gem’s words flowing in the warm summer air.

“...I’ve never been with a virgin before,” she chatted. “But I’ve heard the young, innocent grooms can get quite confused on their wedding night. Your future husband will know nothing about sex. You’ll have to show him where everything goes and how all the pieces fit together.” She winked. “If you know what I mean.”

“It really feels like a chore,” I muttered. “I wish men would be allowed to get at least some experience too. I would’ve preferred to learn it all with my own husband rather than with some random man.”

Gem made a face. “Ari, you don’t want your husband to know too much about sex, not even after your wedding. Too much sex can turn a good boy into a wicked one, and a man’s reputation is irreparable once it’s been damaged. As far as your husband is concerned, it’s best to focus purely on procreation with him. He’d be the father of your children. That’s what he’s been preparing for all his life, anyway.”

“But if they knew at least a little bit about procreation, I wouldn’t have to worry about all of this now.”

She shook her head vehemently. “A well-raised boy saves his virginity for his wedding night. It’s a man’s most treasured asset. If his reputation is ruined, no woman of any importance would have him. And then what is he to do? There are very few avenues available to a man to make a living on his own. He could possibly join the army, but the competition is pretty fierce for soldiers’ positions. We’ve had no wars for so long, there is simply no need to keep a large army permanently. If the boy is lucky to have the necessary talent, he could try to become a royal gladiator, a singer, or an actor. Gladiators receive a room and board, as well as a pension from the crown. Actors often manage to entice wealthy benefactors to take care of them. But for a nobleman, if they lose their virginity before marriage, their reputation is ruined. No one would marry a ruined man.”

I knew the traditions of Rorrim’s society but until now, I hadn’t dwelled on them much. These gender roles were a part of the world that had become my home, and so far, I’d been focusing on just learning them without questioning.

“Do you think it’s fair to men?” I asked.

Gem stretched in her chair. “Every tradition has a reason behind it, doesn’t it? Keeping men’s chastity makes perfect sense. A woman always knows with certainty who her children are and how many she’s responsible for to raise into adulthood. With a man, one can never be sure. It’s not men’s fault of course, poor things, they can’t help it. Goddess created them as irresponsible slaves to their own desires. If allowed to run around freely, a man can impregnate hundreds or even thousands of women in his lifetime, possibly without knowing who or where his own children are. Can you imagine what that would do to a society?” Gem’s eyes opened wide at the horror of such a scenario. “Clearly, the Great Goddess intended for women to be the stronger, more responsible half to keep men under control. It’s in their interests, really. With men’s brains being so different from women’s, they need us to guide them and look after them.” She waved a hand in front of her face in an attempt to cool off. “Oh, it’s so hot today.” Reaching toward the side table, she picked up the bell and rang for a maid to bring her some ice water.

At the sound of the bell, Ria raised her head and blinked, waking up.

I lifted the puppy to nuzzle her fluffy forehead. “Are you awake, sleepy head? How did you get to be so adorable?”

My gaze drifted behind the puppy and out into the garden. A man was heading toward the two bricklayers. Stepping heavily, he stomped from behind the tower while carrying a huge load of bricks on his back. The stack was wide and high, propped by wood and strapped with leather belts that looped over his broad shoulders.

Unlike the women, the man had a long-sleeved shirt on. The sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, but sweat still soaked the fabric on his wide chest and under his arms. It would be highly inappropriate for a man to remove his shirt in public, no matter how hot the day was.

The man’s head was down, his brown hair hanging over his face, but I recognized his tall, large frame and his long scruffy beard. It was Salas, the same man who was whipped just last afternoon. Now, he was at work again, carrying bricks on his injured back.

Gem took a long drink of her ice water delivered by the maid.

“Let’s hope our trip to the theater yields some results,” she said optimistically. “Because otherwise, I’m out of ideas here. It’s not like I can take the crown princess to a fun house and pay for a night with a working boy there. Or even worse, bring one to the palace.” She signed. “They aren’t allowed to leave their brothel at night. Not to mention the scandal that would cause...” Her voice trailed off as she noticed my stare and traced it to the man with the bricks on his back.

Salas set his heavy load on the ground a short distance ahead from the women. As he straightened, the rusty streaks of blood on the back of his shirt came into view.

“Hey, isn’t that the same slave who was flogged yesterday?” Gem tipped her chin at him. “They shouldn’t allow a criminal on the palace grounds. I’ll have to speak with his owner.”

Something about that man kept drawing my attention to him. His height and size made him stand out, but it wasn’t just that.

I wondered what he was thinking when he started that fight. Hadn’t he known he’d be punished? Aggression like that wasn’t tolerated, the law was clear on it. If he was harassed by the others, why didn’t he file a complaint with his owner about the other slaves’ behavior instead?

“He isn’t hurting anyone, is he?” I replied to Gem’s concerns.

Salas’s sudden appearance in my vicinity unsettled me. Even from a distance, I felt his presence with my skin. Tearing my stare away from him, I set the puppy down. She immediately took off along the patio in chase of a large butterfly that fluttered by.

“Here, Ria.” I grabbed a morsel of cooked beef liver from the crystal bowl on the table. I had it brought in, intending to do some puppy training before she’d passed out in slumber on my lap.

The butterfly flew over the low banister at the end of the patio, and the silly puppy leaped over it to follow. I didn’t know she was old enough to jump over the banister already.

I sprang to my feet.

“No, Ria. Come here!”

Sadly, we hadn’t quite mustered the “come here” command during our training yet, or any command, for that matter. Ria tended to do as she pleased rather than following any commands at all.

“Ria, come on, you hellion,” I groaned, stepping over the banister.

Gem sat up straighter. “Ari, leave it. Let’s send a maid or a footman to fetch the dog.”

It’d take time to get a maid. Meanwhile, Ria was heading toward the hedge of the huge garden maze. If she made it inside, neither I nor the maid would have an easy time finding her. The puppy was so small, an owl or a fox could easily snatch her before we got to her.

“Riaaa!” I dragged out her name in frustration.

The furry rascal dashed across a flower bed, plowing a path through the blossoming tulips. I hiked up my long skirt and sprinted after her, hopping over the neat rows of flowers.

Her ears flopping, her tail wagging, the dog swerved along the gravel path and toward the man in the bloodied shirt. She weaved between Salas’s feet, beelining for the lily pond next. She was still so young. What if she fell in and drowned?

“Get her! Please!” I yelled, gasping for breath.

Following my plea, Salas turned and gave chase after her. Thankfully, his legs were much longer than hers. He caught up with Ria in two long strides, then scooped her off the ground with a hand as huge as a shovel.

“Oh Goddess, thank you.” I pressed a hand to my chest, slowing down on my way to him. “Thank you so much. I would’ve never found her in that maze...”

Somehow, my words of gratitude sounded inadequate when talking to him. This man had been through hell in the past twenty-four hours. And here I was, with such a trivial problem as my dog running away, the problem that I couldn’t even solve on my own. He had to solve it for me.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, suddenly having difficulty looking straight at him.

“It was no trouble, Princess.”

Once again, the deep rumble of his voice startled me. I was not prepared for the weirdly pleasant vibration resonating through my chest in response.

I glanced up, meeting his eyes. They were brown, a little lighter than his hair in the afternoon sun that made them glow like two golden drops of honey.

“I...um.” Gods, what was I going to say again?

It felt like I had to say something, but all the words scattered in my brain. It must be because of how big he was. He towered over me, blocking half the sky. Surely, I must find it intimidating, especially from this close.

“Your dog.” He moved his hands forward.

Ria, the little troublemaker, sat comfortably in the palm of his hand. He covered her with his other hand, gently scratching the puppy’s head behind her ear. Like the rest of him, his hands were massive. His knuckles were scuffed, with his fingernails cut short or broken. Fine red dust from the bricks covered his skin in a thick layer.

I had a feeling he could easily crush my head between those giant mitts of his. Yet by how carefully he handled my dog, I also believed he could cradle a butterfly between his calloused palms without so much as crinkling its wings.

Finding nothing better to say, I was about to repeat my stupid thanks, grab my dog, and be on my way when a whiff of coppery smell of dried blood reached me with the breeze from his direction. It was stronger than the smell of sweat.

“Does it hurt?” I asked, meeting his honey-colored eyes once again.

His thick eyebrows jerked up in surprise, but he quickly schooled his features into an expression of indifference. His gaze dropped to the ground, as was expected of well-behaved men when talking to women they weren’t related to.

“It’s nothing that Her Highness needs to concern herself with,” he replied, holding the dog out to me.

If I took the puppy, Salas would be free to leave and go back to his bricks. Instead, I left Ria where she was, essentially trapping him into the conversation with me. Ria didn’t seem to mind it one bit, happily accepting the ear scratches.

Should I tell him about the appeal progress of his case? I feared that would make me look like I was expecting his gratitude when, really, I didn’t think he cared about his case at all.

“That fight you started...” I said instead. “Why didn’t you defend yourself in court? Why didn’t you complain about the other men insulting you?”

Maybe if I knew the answers, I’d sleep better tonight. If curiosity was what kept this man in my thoughts, then all I had to do was satisfy it.

He kept his gaze down. “There was nothing to defend. I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You attacked four men—”

“Six.”

“Pardon?”

His beard moved, and I could’ve sworn it was now hiding a smile. Or a smirk.

“There were six men, Princess. The other two ran away before the guards got there.”

I held back a gasp. “You attacked six men? Alone?”

“I didn’t mean to break any bones,” he muttered into his beard.

I believed he didn’t. He looked genuinely remorseful about that. Though, I wasn’t sure whether he regretted the entire fight or just the arm that he broke.

“Why did you do it? What could they have possibly said that made you so mad at them?”

He rolled back his shoulders with a wince and shifted his weight to another foot. Yesterday, he kept stealing curious glances at me. Today, he seemed to try his hardest to avoid my eyes at all costs.

“The matter is of too little importance to trouble Your Highness with,” he fired off.

His posture was humble, his voice remained respectful. Why then did I feel like I’d just been told to fuck off and mind my own business?

“Your Highness!” Gem marched over from the patio, flanked by at least a dozen guards. About half of the women carried crossbows with bolts soaked in sleeping potion. If it weren’t for the crossbows, I doubted a dozen guards would be enough to stand against Salas if he chose to fight them, since six men hadn’t been a match for him the last time.

Gem touched my elbow.

“We should go, Your Highness. It’s time to get dressed for dinner.” It sounded like a suggestion, not an order. Only the firm grip of her fingers on my arm left no doubt she meant for me to follow her without a debate.

I didn’t move, looking at Salas, but he thrust out his hands with the puppy again, as if silently imploring me to take the dog and leave.

My curiosity had not been satisfied, not in the slightest. If anything, it only burned brighter now. But I couldn’t keep questioning him with all this crowd here, especially since he refused to reply.

“I just want to help you,” I said. “With the case.”

“I appreciate your kindness, Your Highness.” He bowed to me with the unexpected grace that could rival that of a courtier. “But there really is no need to trouble yourself. I committed a crime. I accepted my punishment. The case should’ve been closed.”

“Would you rather they deliver those two lashes?”

He frowned, shifting stiffly, but said nothing.

“You don’t like attention,” I replied for him. “I can see that. But it doesn’t mean you should let bad things happen to you.”

He jerked his head up, sucking in a sharp breath. His nostrils flared; his stare burrowed into me.

I realized how patronizing my words might have sounded. I wasn’t familiar with his entire situation. He wouldn’t tell me. But that didn’t give me the right to pass a judgment. As a slave, I supposed he didn’t have control over many things that happened in his life.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I didn’t mean it like that...” Reluctantly, I reached for the puppy. “I’ll take her.”

“No need to apologize,” he replied softly, gently placing Ria in my hands.

Our fingers touched, with his feeling warm and rough, like the sun-warmed bricks he worked with. I had a sudden feeling that a grip of a hand like that could be trusted to never let go.

“Salas!” a female voice sounded to my right. The older of the two bricklayers rushed to us, pulling on a shirt over her head.

Gem jerked on my arm, her stare narrowing on my hand on top of Salas’s palm. I held Ria in one hand but forgot to retrieve my other hand from him. His touch—the touch of a stranger—caused no discomfort. On the contrary, it put me at ease, as if it were a normal thing for us to hold hands like that.

The bricklayer got closer.

“I’m so sorry, Your Highness.” A ripple of reflection flashed across her skin, momentarily coloring her in green and blue—the colors of the sky and hedges surrounding us. It passed as she collected herself. “Is he bothering you? He’s normally quiet and hardworking but, sadly, has a temper as it turns out.”

“Salas was no bother,” I protested, finally reclaiming my hand from him. “He helped me catch my dog.”

“Oh, good, good.” She flicked a thumb over her shoulder and hissed under her breath at my puppy rescuer, “Get back to work, boy.”

With a bow to me, Salas turned to leave, seemingly relieved to be free of my company at last.

I stared at the dark-red spots on the back of his shirt as he walked away probably to fetch another mountain-load of bricks.

“He shouldn’t be working, not until he heals,” I pointed out.

The bricklayer stretched her neck with a grunt. “With all due respect, Your Highness, but what use would punishment be if slaves were allowed to take days off after?”

Ria whined, restless in my hands. I scratched behind her ear to calm her down, just like Salas had done.

“Why is he a slave?” I asked the woman.

Gem moved closer to me. “Your Highness, we really should go. I’m sure the queen—”

I ignored her, asking the bricklayer again, “How long has Salas been a slave?”

The older woman scratched her chest through her shirt. “I really don’t know, Your Highness. He just carries bricks for us and doesn’t talk much. His owner could answer all these questions for you if you wish. She lives in the city somewhere and doesn’t come out here often. But her helper is at the barracks. He’s the one who manages the slaves for her.”

Gem stepped forward, clearly determined to bring me back to the safety of the palace patio.

“Thank you for your answers, good woman.” She reached into the pocket of her dress, then left a silver coin in the bricklayer’s hand for her trouble. “We really should be going now. I believe your dog needs to use a bathroom, Your Highness.”

Ignoring the bricklayer’s bows and thanks, Gem maneuvered me back to the patio, along with our escort of the guards. Here, I kissed Ria on the nose and placed her in a basket for the maid to take her away for now. Satisfied I was no longer in any mortal danger, Gem released the guards too, then she paced the patio, giving me a glance every now and then.

“What?” I asked, sitting down in an armchair in the shade.

She stopped in front of me abruptly. “Why do you have such a sudden interest in that slave, Ari?”

“I don’t have any particular interest in him,” I protested. “I’m... I’m just a little curious.”

“Why?” She squinted at me, propping her hands on her hips. “What about him sparked your curiosity?”

What was so special about Salas?

What exactly did I want to know about him?

Surely, every one of the men in those barracks had a story to tell about how he ended up selling his freedom. Salas couldn’t be unique. Yes, he’d fought alone against six. But it was safe to assume he wasn’t the only one getting into brawls out there, either.

Yet something had set him apart from the rest to me.

Long ago, in another world, I lived a life that I thought couldn’t happen in Rorrim. Here, I believed, I could never again feel so helpless, or hopeless, or resigned to suffer. Now, however, flashes of all those feelings came back to me, reflected in Salas. His suffering resonated with recognition in my chest.

At the same time, Salas didn’t appear weak. He had stood on that platform like an oak tree in an open field weathering a storm, and I had a feeling that the storm he’d been battling was even bigger than even I could see. Yet he endured it, and that made him stronger than any storm that came his way.

I could never explain it all to Gem. She wouldn’t understand. Instead, I wetted my lips and said the first trivial thing I could think of, “For example, why is he not married?”

“Maybe he is?”

I shook my head. “If he had a wife, it’s highly unlikely he’d be a slave. All debts would be in her name not his. If she needed money, she would use her property as a collateral for a loan or work out a repayment arrangement with wages garnishment.”

Gem tapped her chin with her finger. “Maybe he’s a widower?”

“His wife’s family would’ve taken care of him after her passing. Or if there was no living female relative, he would’ve been directed to a widowers’ house, which is an esteemed charity establishment. There, he’d be working under the care and supervision of staff, keeping his freedom. With his size and strength, he could easily be a gladiator too.”

Gem huffed. “Not everyone can be a royal gladiator, Ari. One needs a character reference from a lady of the royal court, in addition to his talent, abilities, and skills. And even then, the games master can send him away packing. That woman isn’t easy to please. Besides, maybe he didn’t want to become a gladiator at all. Gladiators fight in the arena, risking their limbs and lives.”

“You know he isn’t afraid of a fight.”

“Well, maybe that’s where his problem lies? No one would hire a man of his size when he’s known to be violent. He sold his freedom to pay off his debt. That’s how slavery usually works. Which could mean he’s a gambler too.”

I pushed my glasses up my nose in a gesture that was mostly just a habit. The frame fitted me perfectly, needing no adjustments.

“I don’t know, Gem. There is just something about him that breeds questions. Like in the way he speaks and holds himself. At some point, I got the feeling he might’ve been educated.”

Salas used his words to hide behind them, which I’d learned to do well myself.

“Education is useless for a man,” Gem dismissed. “For a slave, it would actually be a burden. But...” she perked up, her voice lifting, “I’m glad you like him.”

“Like him?” I stared at her incredulously. “I don’t know the man enough to either like or dislike him.”

“But I have a feeling you may want to get to know him a little bit more intimately .” She smiled slyly.

I ran a hand over my hair and said nothing because Gem wasn’t entirely wrong. I had questions about Salas. I wondered about his past. But I also knew that nothing good could come of us getting closer in any capacity. He must know it, too, judging by how eager he seemed to escape my company.

Gem pulled her chair closer to mine and leaned forward. “I’ll tell you what. Instead of going to the theater, why don’t I ride to the city and talk to his owner?”

“About what?”

“About letting him off work for a day or two, so I can bring him to your bedroom for a visit. Very discreetly, of course.” I drew in a breath, but Gem grabbed my hand, not giving me a chance to voice an argument. “Listen, I’ve noticed how you look at each other. You let him hold your hand, for Goddess’ sake. I’ve never seen you holding hands with a man before.”

“It was just a random touch.” I jerked my hand away from her.

“There was nothing random in how long it lasted. He didn’t seem to mind it, either.”

Gem darted a glance over my shoulder, where the bricklayers must’ve returned to their work. I couldn’t see them while sitting with my back to the garden, but I assumed Salas would be working with them again, probably carrying another load of bricks on his mangled back.

“We’ll clean him up for you,” Gem said. “I’m sure he’s handsome under all that dust and scruff.”

“It would help if his back was healed,” I replied quickly.

“True.” Gem curled her lips, cringing. “You don’t want him to stain your sheets with blood.”

I didn’t care about the sheets, but Gem didn’t need to know that.

“He’ll never heal if he keeps working like that,” I pointed out.

“Maybe, but we can’t tell his owner how to run her business. If she feels he’s fit for work, she’s within her rights to make him work.”

Salas sold himself to his owner, and the laws of ownership were clear. The crown didn’t meddle in the rights of the property owners unless any other laws were broken, which in this case, they were not.

Mother often told me, “As a queen, you can’t fix injustice just for one person without considering adjusting the laws for the entire country.”

If one slave was allowed to rest and heal after being punished for the crime he committed, then others would have the right to demand the same. Otherwise, there’d be no justice, just favoritism.

However, forcing anyone to carry loads of bricks over the raw wounds seemed like an unnecessary cruelty. Salas’s punishment didn’t include this added torture. It didn’t feel right, even if it was legal.

“If you’re going to bring him to my bedroom, Gem, I want his wounds treated and him well rested. Make that clear to his owner when you’re talking to her.”

A smile spread on her face. “So, is that it, then? Is this the man you fancy?”

I resisted the urge to glance back over my shoulder where Salas was working in the garden. Resisting it took quite an effort on my part because he drew my attention stronger than the gravity that kept my feet on the ground.

Did I “fancy” him in the way Gem thought I did?

“Since you’re so curious about him,” Gem went on, not waiting for my reply, “you can ask him whatever questions you want when he’s lying naked in your bed, the two of you are all sweaty and out of breath after a good fucking. You’ll be amazed how chatty men become after sex, even the most silent types.”

The image her words conjured in my mind sent a warm, tingling sensation through my belly. When I thought about Salas’s large naked body sprawled on my bed, I wasn’t sure exactly what I felt, but it certainly wasn’t fear or repulsion. Quite the opposite.

Maybe I was finally old enough to crave a man’s attention in the most basic, physical way? I wished so hard to move past the horrors of the world I’d left behind, and maybe it had finally happened? Maybe I was ready to desire sex?

Gem was right about one thing—I’d never felt this way about any man before. Whatever it was, I should use it. I should have him.

I thought about his big, calloused hands. I didn’t dare imagine them on my body, but the idea of just holding them in mine made me weak in my knees. The feeling was new but not unpleasant.

The day suddenly seemed hotter. I grabbed Gem’s half-empty glass of now tepid water and drained it in two big gulps.

“Gem.” I tugged at the neckline of my dress to let some fresh air under the fabric. “But I don’t even know him.”

“Sweetie, that’s not important,” she assured me. “He looks old enough to know a thing or two about sex. As long as he can please a woman, it’s all that matters. Now, you really should go get ready for tonight’s dinner with the dignitaries. While I...” She got up, ready to jump into action, “I will have to learn a few more things about that slave before I allow him to get anywhere near your bedroom. Let’s not forget, he’s a convicted criminal. I need to make sure you’ll be absolutely safe in his presence.”

The skin on my nape prickled, as if sensing Salas’s stare from behind.

What was he thinking about me?

I couldn’t guess, just as I couldn’t even remotely predict how he would take my proposition.

“Gem,” I said, knowing too well just how tenacious my cousin could be when it came to getting things her way. “Please promise me one thing. You’ll make it clear to him that it’s an offer, not an order. If he wants to refuse, he can.”

She scoffed. “He’d be an absolute fool to refuse you.”