Chapter 2

Ari

10 years later.

D rawing in a long breath of warm early-summer air, I turned my face up to the afternoon sunshine. Summer had been slow to come to Rorrim Queendom this year, but it seemed finally here.

Gem caught up with me, lining her horse up stirrup to stirrup with my mare Revlis.

“Nice day, isn’t it?” Gem said, opening all the buttons in the front of her dress.

I’d done the same already, unbuttoning my light cotton dress down past my bra to help me keep cool. We rode side by side along a wide paved road out of Egami, the capital city of Rorrim, in the world behind the mirror that I had accidentally discovered ten years ago and never looked back.

“Thanks for dragging me out of the palace today, Gem.”

“Someone had to.” She tossed back her long ponytail of thick, chestnut hair.

Five years older than me, Gem had been my unofficial guide in the palace, helping me learn and adapt to my new life. She seemed to always be in the know about everything and everyone at the queen’s court, which made her the perfect woman for the job of lady chamberlain, the position she’d held for over three years now. As the niece of Queen Anna, who’d become my adoptive mother, Gem was also my cousin.

“If I didn’t physically drag you out every now and then, your butt would’ve long merged with the chair in your study by now,” Gem quipped.

That was true. I spent a lot of time indoors. But mostly because I constantly felt the need to catch up. I didn’t grow up in Rorrim, yet as the queen’s daughter and the crown princess, I was expected to govern the country one day. There was a lot to learn, and the more I read, studied, and observed, the more things I found I needed to know.

Queen Anna, my silver-eyed savior from the mirror, proved to be kind, intelligent, and just—everything my birth mother never was.

That night when I’d barged into the queen’s life, sobbing, terrified, and confused, she sat with me on the floor in front of the ancient mirror in the palace’s grand throne room. She held me, stroking my hair and whispering words of comfort no one had ever said to me before.

She’d assured me that I was worthy of love, that I deserved a good, peaceful life, and that she was going to give it to me.

“You are of my bloodline,” the queen had told me. “You must be. The blood of my ancestors is flowing in you, child. That’s why I was able to see you through the mirror. A miracle brought you here. And now, nothing and no one will ever hurt you again.”

The queen was married. For years, she’d tried to have a child of her own and failed. She said my anguish must’ve opened the portal for me to escape my world, Fate had led me to her. But I also believed it’d been her compassion that guided me into her arms that night and for that, I was forever grateful.

In Rorrim Queendom, I became Aniri, the Crown Princess, or Ari for those close to me. Ira, the frightened, helpless, struggling to survive girl of my past, was long gone. I buried her along with the memories of that world that I loathed to revisit.

A farmer’s wagon rattled down the road toward us. I steered Revlis to the right to let the wagon pass. The farmer sat in the front, holding the horse’s reins in her hands. She waved at me with a smile.

“Afternoon, Your Highness.”

The farmer’s husband rode with the kids in the back, among the baskets of green onions they must be delivering to one of the grocers in the city. The man tipped his head to me in greeting.

“I’m surprised people still remember who you are,” Gem teased. “They probably just recognize the crown, not your face. When was the last time you showed your face in public?”

My crown, the circlet of golden stars, was so delicate, I hardly felt it upon my hair. However, it shone brightly enough in the sunshine to be spotted from a distance. Gem might be right; it was the crown that gave away my position. But I also wasn’t as much of a hermit as she was making it out to be.

“Oh, come on.” I waved her off. “I do get out. I went to the Games last week, didn’t I?”

“The Games are a given.” Gem lowered her eyelids, shading her blue eyes with her long, dark eyelashes. A smile spread on her lips, slow like melted butter. “Ever since the Games Master acquired Falo, the new gladiator from the South, a woman must be dead to miss the Games.”

I’d seen Falo in the arena. Like most people from the cold southern parts of the country, he had blond hair and blue eyes. His long locks and the golden armor he wore in the arena made him look like Yarnus, the son of the Rorrim’s Great Goddess Nus.

I arched an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’ve slept with him already.”

Gladiators belonged to the crown. However, I’d never heard of Queen Anna visiting the men’s quarters for private time with any of them. Her court ladies, on the other hand, liked frequenting the fighters’ rooms after the Games. The married women tended to be more discrete, but Gem was single, not even engaged yet, and therefore had the freedom to do as she pleased.

“Not yet,” she said with a disappointed groan. “You know the rules, no sex for the gladiators during the first month upon their arrival to Egami.”

That particular rule was in place to protect the women of Egami and to give every new gladiator time to adjust to his new life in the arena. Only after the Games Master had fully assessed the new fighter’s character and deemed him safe to be left alone with a woman was he allowed to have a private audience with a lady.

“I’ve put a request to the Games Master for next month. But she says the line to see the new boy is pretty long. Can you believe it? He’s that popular already.”

The “boy” was in his twenties, but gladiators were often referred to as boys, regardless of their age. It didn’t surprise me that the new man was so popular with women. His act in the arena was amazing. He’d scored a few impressive victories already, and victors tended to enjoy more attention from both the crowd and the court ladies.

“He did pretty good during the last Games,” I admitted.

“He was magnificent!” Gem swooned. “He’s so beautiful. I can’t wait to have that gorgeous face between my legs.” She tilted her head with a sly glance my way. “You should come with me to the gladiators’ quarters next time. As the crown princess, you may even gain a favor with the Games Master, and she’d move you up in line for a private visit with Falo.”

I’d been to the gladiators’ quarters just once. When I turned twenty-one, Gem took me there on a visit that was supposed to be an unofficial rite of passage of sorts. By that age, I was considered an adult in every aspect. I was allowed to drink and gamble. I got a seat on the Royal Council. Since then, I was also not only allowed, but encouraged to have sex, which Gem probably hoped for me to do when she took me on a tour of the gladiators’ private living area five years ago.

Each man had his own room upstairs, but the main area downstairs served as a large living space with dining and gambling tables. Here, they held parties after the weekly Games. I remembered the gladiators’ quarters as a cheerful place, filled with music and laughter. Expensive wine flowed freely, with the finest food being served. The noble court women sat on the couches with the gladiators of their choice at their feet. Some couples danced, others gambled.

I’d had a glass of wine with Gem before she got distracted by a young gladiator with both his shirt and chest armor gone.

Another young man came over and sat on the floor at my feet. He smiled at me and hugged my leg through my skirts. He seemed friendly and acted respectfully, waiting for a sign from me that would allow him to go any further. His hand had never strayed higher than my knee, but the contact alone proved sobering.

The world had tilted then, as if slipping off its axis. The music had suddenly sounded false and the laughter derisive. My vision had focused on the other men’s hands in the room. I saw them sliding under the women’s skirts and into their necklines. The touching had been fully consensual of course. No man in Rorrim would dare touch a woman without her explicit permission or he’d lose his head by law.

I knew it, but my mind had leaped elsewhere that night. It had reached back to that dark place inside me that I wished I could rip out of my soul and burn. I’d yanked my leg away from the man, jumped to my feet, and ran back to my carriage. I rode all the way to the palace and didn’t remember how I got to my room.

Then, I’d made a clumsy excuse about my coming down with a sudden sickness for the Games Master so that she wouldn’t punish the poor gladiator responsible for my flight. It wasn’t his fault that my mind viewed any physical contact with a man as a threat.

I never visited the gladiators’ quarters again. The aftergame parties reeked of sex. And sex was clearly out of the question for me.

“I’m good,” I said to Gem, steering Revlis off the road and onto the path around the city wall.

She pursed her lips. “I’m afraid nothing is good about this situation, Ari. You’re twenty-six. And as far as I know the closest you’ve ever come to being with a man has been a leg hug. You’ll need to marry one day. How are you going to know what to do with your husband to conceive an heiress?”

I raked my hands through the silver-white strands of Revlis’s mane. “I still have time. You’re older than me and aren’t married.”

“You can’t compare me to you,” she retorted. “The future of a country doesn’t depend on me. I can stay the way I am for the rest of my life if I so wish. My older sister is married, with three daughters. There are more than enough heiresses to our mother’s lands and title. You, however, are the only daughter of our queen. I hate to pressure you, but you are our only hope for the continuation of the current ruling line.”

I tightened my fingers in the horse’s mane. “Do you think I don’t know that?”

Gem wasn’t the first or the only one to bring up the subject of a marriage. My future husband hadn’t been chosen yet, but the buzz about possible candidates had been going around the palace for years. The talks of marriage had mostly been delivered to me in the form of veiled comments and gentle nudging. Gem was the only courtier who ever dared speaking frankly with me like that.

I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. “Did my mother put you up to this?”

“Would you blame her if she did?” She jerked her head, her ponytail swaying behind her. “After so many years of anguish with the queen trying and failing to conceive, you were our miracle. You arrived here by magic, as an answer to our prayers. No one questioned your right to her crown. Now, you’re our only hope for the peaceful continuation of the current ruling line without the risk of a war for succession, but you act like you couldn’t be bothered.” She spread her arms aside, holding the reins in one hand. “Pardon me, Your Highness, but that’s selfish.”

When she put it that way, I felt rotten inside. Rorrim had become my one true home. I cherished the trust and love of its people, learning diligently how to become the ruler they deserved.

“Gem, I never said I didn’t care. I know what’s expected of me, and I have no intention of running away from my duty. But I’m not even married yet. How can we talk about an heiress already?”

She perked up. “Just say a word, and the queen will marry you in no time. You know she and the king have been compiling a list of suitable candidates for years now. You can have a husband within weeks if you wish. But then, what are you going to do with your pure, innocent groom when the time comes to consummate your marriage? Trust me, it helps to know in advance what’s supposed to happen in the bedroom between a woman and her husband.”

Just thinking about the wedding night made me break out in sweat. I rubbed my arms to chase the sudden chills out of my skin.

Oblivious to how uncomfortable this conversation made me feel, Gem continued in an upbeat tone, “Ari, sweetie, you can’t expect a young gentleman from a good family to know anything about sex. A wife teaches her husband the ways in the bedroom. That’s how it is. But what can you teach him if you’ve never been with a man yourself?”

The question hung between us, unanswered.

Gem was right, of course. The continuation of Queen Anna’s line was important. Her ancestors had ruled Rorrim Queendom for over a millennium. During their reign, there had been so few wars in the country, the detailed account of all battles fit in one medium-size book in the Royal Archives. The people of Rorrim treasured peace above all and enjoyed the prosperity it brought. I couldn’t be the one to jeopardize it all now. But the very idea of a man touching me made me want to run as far away from all men as possible.

We turned around a bend of the city wall. The Egami’s execution site lay on our way to the forest path where Gem and I were heading for our ride.

As my lessons on governance had taught me, every law had to be enforced in order for it to be respected. The wooden scaffolding had stood in this very spot for centuries. As the wood rotted and deteriorated, it was replaced again and again, keeping this spot for punishments ordered by the queen.

The spot had been chosen outside of the city so as not to upset the city dwellers with gruesome views. Though judging by the crowd gathered around the platform now, some of the dwellers chose to travel all the way out here specifically to watch.

Gem winced. “There is a flogging here today.”

If it were a beheading, I would’ve known about it. But flogging was normally a punishment for crimes too small to warrant notifying either the queen or the princess about.

A man was being whipped on the platform. Even from a distance, he appeared huge, dwarfing the brawny helper of the executioner who was delivering the flogging.

The punished man’s arms were spread wide, tied with ropes to two poles on each side of the platform. With his shirt off, his wide back was turned to me. His skin had already been covered in red welts from the whip. It broke in a few places, blood dripping down onto his worn brown pants.

I stiffened as the whip hissed through the air. The wet sound of broken skin and splattered blood followed.

“Let’s just ride past it quickly.” Gem nudged her horse to go faster.

The man must’ve done something to deserve it. He wouldn’t be punished otherwise. Still, I winced and held my breath as the executioner’s helper raised the whip again.

As I rode by, I couldn’t take my eyes off the man on the platform. Something seemed unusual about him. Something I couldn’t quite figure out... Until I realized, he didn’t reflect .

People of the world behind the mirror wavered under pressure of fear or shame. If felt strongly, those emotions would make their bodies reflect their surroundings, making them look nearly invisible, as if they subconsciously tried to escape the scary or shameful situation they were going through.

I squinted through my glasses. The royal jeweler, working with my mother’s personal healing witch, had created special crystal lenses for me set in a gorgeous frame of golden filigree and tiny gems. With the glasses on, my vision was perfect, but I couldn’t see anything changing about the punished man’s body. It remained large and solid. With not a single ripple of reflection on his skin or clothes.

That meant he wasn’t scared or ashamed while being punished. Did he even care? Or could it be that he was innocent?

The last idea stuck in my throat at an uncomfortable angle. If an innocent man was being whipped, then our laws had failed him.

We’d circled the crowd around the platform on our way to pass it. The man’s face now came into my view. His tangled, russet hair fell over his eyes. A full beard of the same color covered the lower part of his face.

“Ari,” Gem hissed beside me. “Let’s go.”

“Wait.” I stirred my horse closer to a couple standing by. “Greetings, good people.”

The woman turned to me, then bowed. “Greetings, Your Highness.”

The man glanced up at me, then dropped his gaze. It was considered impolite for a man to stare at a woman he wasn’t married to. He bowed silently, letting his female companion speak.

“Do you know what that man is being whipped for?” I asked. “What’s his crime?”

“They say he started a fight.” The woman pointed at the city official who stood by the platform holding the scroll with the verdict. “Some slaves quarreled while fixing the road to the palace. He then beat them up or something.”

“Slaves? Is he a slave too?” I turned to the man on the platform.

My breath hitched as my gaze crossed with his. His brown eyes watched me from under his sweat-soaked tresses. He wouldn’t look away, holding eye contact firmly even as his body convulsed from yet another hit of the whip. I found no fear or remorse in his expression, no emotions at all, just resignation. He’d accepted his punishment, even though this whole situation didn’t sit well with me.

“He’s one of the slaves who’ve been working on the palace grounds this spring,” the woman explained.

Gem moved her horse closer to mine.

“You can’t intervene, Ari,” she warned quietly. “Not without undermining the law. The verdict had been delivered by the judge appointed by the queen.”

Curiosity flashed in the stranger’s eyes, like a spark of light breaking through the fog of apathy. Once he realized who I was, I expected a plea for help, but he didn’t ask me to intervene. He probably just wondered what I was doing here.

“Is he guilty?” I asked, finding it impossible to simply move away.

Gem shrugged. “He must be. No one gets punished in Egami City unless proven guilty.”

So much was true. Crime didn’t happen often. When it did, it was thoroughly investigated, and every accused got a fair trial. I might not like what I was witnessing, but that gave me no reason to challenge the system. The law that leveled the punishment on this man was the same law I swore to uphold. As the crown princess, I represented the law of the crown.

I couldn’t possibly stop this now...

But the look in the slave’s eyes haunted me. I recognized that blank expression, and now I knew why he wasn’t afraid of the whip. He’d reached that place where his body separated from his heart and his mind. As the whip tore into his flesh, his mind had already grown numb. He felt no pain, no fear, and no shame. Just resignation.

I knew it because I’d been close to that state too before, in the world I didn’t wish to remember but could never forget.

The executioner’s helper raised the whip once again, and I could no longer stand back.

I didn’t remember how exactly I got off the horse or how I got on the platform, but the raised whip never came down again. The helper’s arm jerked and dropped to his side, as I stood in front of him between the whip and the slave.

“Your Highness?” the helper muttered, blinking at me in shock. “I’m so sorry, I almost hit you...” His skin turned ashen from the horror of that realization, then a ripple of green from the grass and brown from the weathered wood of the platform reflected through his entire body.

“Princess Aniri, greetings.” The executioner stepped in, followed by the city official with her scroll. “I beg your pardon, but the verdict hasn’t been fully executed yet.”

They all stared at me now. The people around the platform moved closer too. Gem jumped off her horse and stepped toward the platform, chewing on her bottom lip. Her inner battle was obvious to me. As my older cousin, she often bossed me around in private. In public, however, she didn’t dare reprimand the princess, holding back to see how much of a scene I would cause before she had no choice but to intervene.

“Is there a problem, Your Highness?” The official twisted the scroll in her fingers, looking ill at ease.

The punished slave stared over his shoulder with undisguised interest now, waiting for what I’d do next. But I had no plan. I’d interrupted an execution of the law for no good reason and with no excuse whatsoever. The best thing to do would be to apologize and leave, but I knew it would haunt me if I did so.

I cleared my throat. “Every verdict can be appealed. Has this man had a chance to bring his case in front of the Royal Council?”

The city official’s eyebrows rose high to her blonde hair pulled up into a tight bun.

“Um... He’s just a slave, Your Highness, being flogged for starting a fight. It’s a minor case that hardly warrants the attention of the council.”

I grabbed on to that one single straw. “The law is the law. An accused has the right for an appeal heard by the Royal Council.”

“I doubt this man has the means to take his case that far,” the city official replied tentatively.

“Well, then...” I glanced back at the punished man behind me.

He was no longer looking at me, his head dropped between his shoulders, his mangled back turned to me with his arms stretched wide in the restraints. But I knew he heard every word. His muscles stiffened as if he was afraid to move and miss what was happening.

I faced the official again. “Then, I’ll personally review his case and present it to the council.”

Both women, the city official and the executioner, gaped at me in shock. The executioner’s helper grunted, scratching the back of his head.

“It’s just two more lashes left, Your Highness,” he said. “Hardly worth your time to bother.”

Two lashes.

Was it enough for me to step aside and let them finish?

I glanced back at the prisoner again. This time, he met my eyes, but I found no guidance in his expression. Just like before, he didn’t seem to care about what was happening to him. He simply watched what I would do.

I stretched my hand toward the scroll with the verdict.

“I will personally review his case,” I insisted.

If the man was indeed as guilty as he’d been charged, the two lashes could always be delivered at a later date. However, he might not have fought against the verdict hard enough. If so, I might be able to find something to at least reduce his punishment to the lashes already given.

“As you wish, Your Highness.” The official surrendered the scroll to me. “I’ll have the rest of the paperwork on his case delivered to the palace by my clerk.”

“Thank you.” I shoved the scroll under my arm.

The executioner collected the bloodied whip from her helper. With a bow and a goodbye, the official headed back to the city gate. The crowd started to disperse, too, as the city guards untied the prisoner.

“He should return to his life,” I told them. “Until the decision by the council.”

Freed, the man straightened to his full, impressive height. His wide shoulders blocked the sun. A couple paces of distance remained between us, but I already had to tilt my head back to see his face.

Rubbing his wrists where the restraints used to be, he rested his gaze on me.

“Thank you.” He spoke softly, but his deep voice reverberated far and wide, requiring no strain to hear him.

“I... I didn’t do much.” My words suddenly tripped on a lump inside my throat.

Facing him like this, on even ground, unsettled me. Standing tall, he no longer looked in need of my compassion, and it wasn’t exactly just compassion that I felt. My chest warmed from the inside. Heat radiating through my entire body, including my face.

Was I blushing?

I must be, I realized with a flare of mortification.

Except for my father, King Trebor, I hadn’t been this close to a man for years now. That had to be the reason for my flustering state. Men had been largely unfamiliar species to me.

“Well...” I blinked, trying to collect myself, which wasn’t easy with the prisoner’s eyes focused on me so intensely. “It’s too early to thank me. The appeal hasn’t happened yet. Let’s see what the council will say.”

“I didn’t thank you for the appeal,” he replied, leaving me speechless.

What did he thank me for then?

I learned to hold my own in the most difficult of conversations with high standing officials, court members, and foreign dignitaries. Why did I feel like I was losing ground here, after exchanging only a handful of words with a slave?

“Your Highness.” Gem rushed to my rescue. “What an excellent handling of the situation on your part,” she gushed in a voice that anyone who knew her less than I did would undoubtedly take as a praise. However, the veiled sarcasm in her words didn’t escape me. Gem was clearly annoyed by the interruption of our ride and by my meddling in things she didn’t think I should’ve meddled in. “Shall we proceed with our day now?”

There was nothing left for me to do. Eager to escape the confusing feelings taking over me in this man’s presence, I nodded and went back to Revlis.

Gem and I rode in silence until the execution platform remained far behind us and the canopy of the forest obscured the blue sky above.

The thoughts of the punished man wouldn’t leave me.

“Since when does Mother own slaves?” I asked Gem sharply.

“You know she doesn’t. We just contracted their owner to help with the garden work. The spring was short this year, with too much work left to do for the palace gardeners. The stone paths behind the east wing were badly damaged during the winter. The head gardener asked for help, and I couldn’t deny her. The one thing that slaves are really good for is the heavy manual labor.”

I said nothing to that. I didn’t feel like talking at all. The sun shone just as brightly. The day remained as lovely as ever. Only nothing felt as pleasant as before.

Clutching the verdict scroll in my hand, I almost wished to find nothing that warranted a reduced sentence for that man. Then, it’d mean the laws worked exactly how they should, and nothing was wrong with the world I’d grown to love as my one true home.