Chapter 14

Ari

T he sun was setting as I walked to the slave barracks on the very edge of the palace grounds. On my way, I kept going through my reasoning in my mind. At the very least, I decided, I could just give him the shirt and say a proper goodbye, parting like an adult instead of what I’d done the last time.

Some of my reasoning held a modicum of logic. Most of it was just stupid. Regardless, my heart beat faster the closer I got to the place where Salas lived along with the other slaves. They were housed in the spare summer stables. The main building was normally used for horses when a large delegation visited Egami Palace. That spring, it had been temporarily converted to accommodate the men working on the palace grounds.

I stopped just past the hedge separating the barrack from the gardens. The sky darkened as the sun lowered behind the horizon. Hidden in the shadow of the tall hedge, I wondered what the best way would be to go about this.

Technically, the building belonged to my family. I had every right to walk in or around it whenever I pleased. But I couldn’t just march into the barracks and search for Salas without raising a million questions from everyone inside and giving grounds for some potentially very harmful rumors.

Maybe I could knock and ask for him? With my hood on and my crown off, whoever opened the door likely wouldn’t recognize me. But how could I explain to anyone what I needed from Salas if I couldn’t even explain it to myself?

As I stood there, pondering my next step, the door opened, and Salas exited the building. He was alone.

Talk about a lucky break.

I opened my mouth to call him, then realized he was trying not to be seen. Furtively glancing over both his shoulders, he quickly closed the door behind him and rounded the building toward the path that led to the palace gates. He wasn’t just going out for a walk. He was sneaking out. Instead of taking the path, he stayed close to the hedge and the bushes, hiding in their shadows.

I realized how much I still didn’t know about this man, intentionally so. I hadn’t asked him questions or tried to find out anything about his life other than what was absolutely necessary to fulfill our agreement. By now, the unvoiced questions had piled up so high, I could no longer keep collecting them without answers.

Tugging my hood even lower over my face, I headed after him. There was a way to get at least some answers. Like where was he going so late at night when it was highly unusual for young, unmarried men to leave the house, especially unaccompanied like that?

He walked swiftly. I had to jog at times to keep up with his wide stride. When he reached the plaza in front of the palace gates, he paused, hiding in the shadows from the light posts. He waited for a few moments until a large group of servants crossed the plaza on their way to the gates. Then he joined them, keeping his head down and staying about half a step behind the last person.

Smart. I shook my head, impressed by his level of stealth that required extra skill and effort to achieve since his size made him stand out in any crowd.

No one stopped me as I left through the gates. A woman walking alone at night rarely raised any questions or concerns.

Salas turned into the road to the city, and I followed, still without him knowing. By now, I couldn’t even let him know that I was behind him even if I tried. He’d gotten way ahead of me. I had to crane my neck, trying not to lose him among the pedestrians taking an evening stroll and the carriages rattling along the road.

It turned out I had good stalking skills, because I managed not to lose him, following him all the way to the large, gray building on the edge of the city center.

Salas used the heavy bronze ring on the front door to knock, then spoke quietly to the woman who opened the door. She let him in, leaving me standing on the corner with even more questions than I’d had before.

Who was this woman? I didn’t get a good look at her face, but she appeared to be about my age.

Why did Salas come to see her, secretly, as if committing an illicit act? Were they having an affair?

Their greeting seemed formal, not like between lovers or even between friends. Still, an unpleasant feeling scratched inside me as my feverish imagination ran amok with all the things they might be doing inside right now.

What was this place, anyway?

I stepped back, taking in the gray stone building. Overall, it was low-set and unassuming. Past rainfalls had decorated its walls with dark water stains. I might’ve passed by here more than once, not paying any attention to its walls hidden behind the pretty cherry trees that grew on the side of the road.

“Excuse me,” I stopped two women who were passing by. “Do you happen to know what’s inside this building?”

One of them shrugged. “No idea. I walk here a few times a month, but I never bothered to find out. It’s an ugly one, isn’t it? Quite an eyesore.”

So much was true. The building wasn’t an architectural masterpiece by any standards.

“I think they have kids in there,” the other woman said.

“Kids?” I stared at her in shock.

She nodded. “I hear them recite out loud on a hot day when they have the windows open.”

“What do they recite?”

“I never listened closely, madam.”

Another passerby stopped abruptly, having overheard our conversation.

“It’s an orphanage for boys,” she said. “My sister knows the head mistress. They do an excellent job at disciplining their charges and making sure they grow into obedient, hard-working husbands.”

An orphanage?

I thanked all three women, letting them continue on their way, then leaned against the building’s wall, trying to process what I’d just learned.

Why would Salas visit an orphanage? Did he come to see somebody? A nephew? Or maybe...a son?

Oh Goddess... My heart beat faster at that assumption. Could that be the reason for him to keep selling his freedom over and over again? Did he have a little boy to support? Was that what he needed the money for?

Stunned by the realization, I missed Salas exiting the building. I only noticed his large figure when he was already way down the road and heading back to the palace. Peeling my back from the cold gray rocks of the wall I’d been leaning on, I promptly followed him again.

He turned into a narrow side street, avoiding the main road this time. As the evening grew into the night, the pedestrian traffic had thinned. Salas would be easy to spot on the main road now. He obviously wished to attract as little attention as possible, choosing the route away from the light and the people.

We entered the part of the city that respectable folks tried to avoid. It was close to the “fun district” as it was unofficially called. Here, the fun was provided by establishments with questionable reputations, such as gambling halls and brothels, also called “fun houses.”

With his legs being longer than mine, Salas had gotten farther and farther ahead. After turning around yet another corner, I lost sight of him completely.

Running at full speed, I approached the narrow street he’d turned into the last I saw him. Several voices reached me from a distance. Salas’s deep, low drawl intermingled with a higher feminine pitch.

Carefully peeking from around the corner of a building, I spotted four women dressed in the city guards’ uniforms.

“What is such a handsome thing like you doing alone at such a late hour?” one of them asked Salas. “Doesn’t your wife want you home by now?”

All four guards were armed with swords and daggers in the sheaths attached to their belts. In addition, two of them also held long spears and had crossbows strapped to their backs.

“I am on my way home, madam,” Salas replied calmly.

“And where is home?” the leader of the guards asked.

“There.” He waved a hand in the direction of the palace.

“Nothing much is out that way but the queen’s palace, boy,” a guard pointed out.

The leader snorted a laugh.

“No offense, but you don’t look like you belong to the royal court, sweetie.” She raked her eyes up and down his body. “Why are you alone and so close to the fun district? Are you one of the working boys, maybe?”

“No,” he replied flatly, holding his back as straight as a rod.

Another guard grabbed his arm. “Let’s take him in. I have a lot of questions.”

He stiffened, squaring his shoulders. But he couldn’t possibly fight back. Lifting a finger to a woman, especially to a figure of authority, carried a death penalty.

“I need to get home, madam,” he said slowly, his voice strained.

If he didn’t make it home on time, I imagined the barrack’s door would be locked. Then, he’d have to spend the night outside, risking running into the palace guards and being detained for lurking. Even if the door of the barrack didn’t get locked for the night, his absence would surely be noticed and likely reported to his owner. If she deemed it an escape attempt on his part, he’d face a punishment far more severe than another flogging.

There was just no avoiding getting in trouble in this situation for Salas, no matter what he did at this point.

I cleared my throat and stepped out of my hiding spot.

“Oh, there you are!” I threw my hands up into the air dramatically. “Thank you so much for finding him for me, ladies.”

They all turned to me. Shock registered on Salas’s face for a moment, but he quickly schooled his features into a neutral expression.

It was fairly dark in the narrow street, with only a faint glow of the streetlights from the main road reaching in to lighten the shadows. I kept my hood draped low around my face. The guards didn’t know who I was, just that I was a woman who spoke with confidence and that proved enough for them to stand to attention.

“Do you know this man, madam?” the guards’ leader asked.

“Yes. He’s my cousin. He’s big but not very bright.” Salas shot me a glare but said nothing, letting me speak for him. “He was supposed to be following me but must’ve taken a wrong turn back there. Please forgive the dummy, he’s not used to walking out here in the dark. I’ll take him home now if you don’t mind.”

The guard let go of Salas’s arm.

“It’s not the best part of the city for a man to walk on his own,” the leader said. “We stop and question every male in these parts.”

“Thank you for doing your job, good women.” I nodded, placing myself between her and Salas.

The leader slapped his ass at parting.

“Go along now, lad. And don’t you get lost again. Men...” She smiled at me, shaking her head. “That’s why they need us to take care of them. Can’t even make a step anywhere without a woman holding their hand.”

I grabbed Salas’s hand to demonstrate that I got the situation under control this time.

“Thanks, ladies.” I waved at them with my free hand while tagging Salas away.

They laughed and chatted among themselves as we left.

My heart pounded. Perspiration beaded on my brow. I half-expected the guards to call us back once they’d realized they hadn’t even asked my name or who I was. I turned into random streets, just to build some distance between us and them.

When the guards’ voices quieted behind the buildings, melting into the streets, I stopped and released a breath, allowing the tension to leave my body.

Salas exhaled too.

“Thanks,” he said softly.

I lifted my face to him. “How do we get back to the palace from here? I’ve no idea where we are.”

I’d acted confidently in front of the guards. But in reality, it was I who was lost, not Salas.

“This way.” He gripped my hand tighter, leading me through a maze of dark narrow streets to the main road.

“You know your way well around the city,” I noted. “Do you come this way often?”

“No. I just happened to have a good sense of direction.”

I bit my lip before asking my next question. “So, you don’t visit that orphanage on a regular basis then?”

He stopped, letting go of my hand, and I immediately missed the contact with his warm palm. Nothing about us walking through the city together at night was normal, yet holding his hand always felt like the most natural thing to do.

“Have you been following me, Princess?” He sounded incredulous, either having a hard time believing that I would do such a crazy thing or wondering how he hadn’t spotted me earlier. “Is that why you’re here?”

“Yes,” I confessed.

“For how long?”

“Since the palace grounds.” I had lots of my own questions that needed answers, however. “I bet you didn’t have your owner’s permission to leave tonight. Why did you do it? Whom were you visiting in that orphanage, Salas?”

“No one. I don’t know anyone there.” He lifted a hand to run it through his shaggy hair.

Only now I noticed a worn leather purse clipped to his belt. Reaching for it, I squeezed it to confirm it was empty.

“You gave them the money, didn’t you? Was that why you signed the new contract with the slave owner?”

He stared at me for a long moment, as if trying to glimpse through my skull my reasons for all these questions.

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business, Princess,” he finally said.

Pivoting on his heel, he headed toward the palace, clearly trusting me to find my own way back now that we were on the main road again. If he thought he’d be rid of me, however, he was hugely mistaken. I ran, catching up with him.

“I made sure you were free,” I panted, barely keeping up with his punishing pace. “Why did you not keep your freedom? How can anyone choose to remain a slave? Don’t you want to reclaim your life?”

“You don’t know anything about my life,” he barked out.

“Because you never told me anything. Granted, I tried not to ask much about it either. But I do want to help.”

He stopped in his tracks so suddenly, I ran past him a few steps then had to turn back to face him.

“I never asked for your help, Princess.” He raked both hands through his messy hair before dropping his arms down. “I have what I have. I made the best I could of my life, and I’m content with it. My allowing you the use of my body for a night or two didn’t automatically give you the right to meddle in the way I live. I didn’t ask you to fix anything.”

Indignity bloomed on my cheeks with heat. It’d been a while since someone had dared to scold me. No one had put me in my place like that. Speechless, I stayed rooted for a few minutes as he continued on his way. He walked a little slower this time, so I didn’t have to run once I’d caught up with him again.

We walked quietly for a while. The silence gave the argument a chance to cool off.

“You’re right,” I spoke first. “I shouldn’t have tried to manage your life like that. But normally, paying someone’s debt off and setting them free is considered a good thing. I honestly believed I was doing you a favor, Salas. I’m sorry if I was wrong about that.”

“No need to apologize,” he replied in a far calmer voice too. “I know you were coming from a good place. It’s just that...” He rubbed his chin, his fingers lost in his thick beard. “Freedom isn’t of much use to me.”

I almost tripped over my feet. How could anyone say such a thing?

“So, you’d rather be someone’s property? Owned, body and soul?”

He shook his head. “No, Princess. The slave owner doesn’t own my body. Or my soul. She owns my time and my labor, nothing more. In exchange, I get a place to live and food three times a day. That’s more than I can have as a free man. By paying off my debt, you literally kicked me out on the street, with no money and no place to go.”

“I could’ve given you money,” I said, and explained in reply to his glare, “As a loan if you wanted. Until you found a job and got back on track.”

He kept on walking, staring straight ahead. “You really don’t know much about life outside of the palace walls, do you?”

I sucked in a breath with a new flare of indignation. I knew far more about the Queendom of Rorrim than probably anyone in the world, including Salas. But I sensed that was not what he meant. My knowledge came largely from academic sources, and in that sense, he might be right. I lacked the perspective of an ordinary person living in this country.

“Do you know why slaves are predominantly male, Princess?” he continued. “And why so many of us remain slaves for life? It’s because there are so few other options for us out there. Men can’t buy a place to live, not even a shack. We can’t own a business. We have nothing to offer as a collateral, and the lenders use it to put the most draconian terms on money loans for us. Most of the men I work and live with are illiterate. They can’t even read the contracts they sign. After years of trying to work off their debt, many actually owe more now than they did at the beginning of their contracts.”

The institution of financial slavery was normally presented to me as something beneficial to both the country and the individual. In theory, it filled the demand for physical labor and provided the means for men to manage their debt. In reality, it seemed there was more to it that no one in the palace knew or cared to share with me.

“I honestly didn’t know...”

He heaved a sigh. “I believe you. People are often blind to the injustices done against others if they don’t belong to that particular group themselves, no matter how large that group may be.”

There was a genuine understanding in his voice, not accusation. But I felt ashamed, nevertheless. And shocked. Shocked to find this level of suffering in the world that I’d considered a perfect place. A part of me didn’t want to hear what else he had to say—learning about these things hurt. But I couldn’t remain ignorant any longer.

“Thank you for telling me,” I said softly.

“Now that you know, will it make any difference?” He glanced at me. Catching my flustered expression, he nodded again. “It is how it is, they say. That’s the way it’s always been. Women run the world, and men have to find a way to fit in. Those who fail to fit in... Well, there is no second chance for us.” He fisted his hands. “I can’t change my past. But hopefully, I’ve made a difference in someone’s future. I don’t need to be personally acquainted with the boys from that orphanage to know they have nothing going for them. All they’re doing right now is reciting rules of conduct and memorizing scriptures. I donated the money in exchange for the written commitment from the head mistress to hire qualified teachers to teach the boys reading, writing, and mathematics for the next three years.”

“You did that?”

A hot wave of shame rolled through me. The system failed those children. As the crown princess, I was a part of the system. I failed them. Salas, a slave with nothing to give but his freedom, was single-handedly trying to make a difference. He stepped in where the crown had failed.

“Did you give away the money from your previous contracts like that too?”

He nodded. “To different organizations. In different cities. But under similar conditions.”

We walked in silence again until we reached the palace gates. I let Salas go in first while I waited out of sight behind a hedge. After the guards confirmed he was one of the slaves working on the grounds, they let him through.

Once he’d made it far ahead, I took my hood off and approached the gate as well.

“Good evening, Your Highness.” The guards let me in without a single question.

Salas waited for me out of sight by the garden path.

“I want you to know that I do appreciate your kind gesture,” he said. “Your intention behind paying off my contract was by far the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I am grateful, and I’m sorry that the result wasn’t what you expected from it.”

I rubbed my arms, not feeling any less foolish. But he also had made me think. If a slave could make a real difference in children’s lives, surely a princess could do so much more. I had the power, I just had to find a way to apply it.

“I’ll speak with my father,” I promised. “He’s the main patron of all orphanages in Egami City. From what I’ve learned from him, I thought the children’s education was taken care of, that they were taught basic literacy skills along with crafts and trades.”

“ Girls are taught all of that,” Salas corrected. “Boys are mostly raised to be husbands and fathers, or general laborers if they fail to find a wife to support them. It’s believed that the brain is not required for physical labor. So why teach them anything?”

Everything he’d said to me today resonated in one way or another with words I’d heard often but long ago and in another world.

“It’s a man's world. There are few options for women to make it in life on their own.”

“You need to find a husband before you’re too old to attract a man.”

“As a young woman with no connections, if you want a job and a place to live, you’ll need a rich man who’d give it to you.”

It struck me how similar yet polar opposite these ideas were. How absurd they would sound outside of the world where they came from.

As we reached the slaves’ barracks, I stopped uneasily. Sadness curled around my heart as it was time to say goodbye.

Salas turned to me. “Well, thank you for your help with the city guards, Princess. You spared me a lot of explaining I’d rather not do.”

“It was no trouble... Oh, I almost forgot.” I grabbed the satchel on my side. “I have something for you.”

“For me?” He blinked, looking confused.

“It’s a present. Kind of...” I pulled out the shirt wrapped in a piece of plain canvas from the market. “Nothing much. I just...well. Just take it, please.” I shoved it into his hands.

Who knew that giving presents would feel this awkward?

He smiled into his beard. His cheeks flushed a little.

“It’s been a while since anyone gave me a present,” he muttered, staring at the package.

“It’s just a shirt,” I blurted out, not waiting for him to unwrap it. “I thought it’d suit you. I really hope you’ll like it.” I exhaled a nervous laugh. “Because if you don’t, it won’t be easy to find someone your size to give it to instead.”

“I love it,” he said, without even seeing it yet. Holding the package in one hand, he reached for me with the other as if to hug me, then caught himself and dropped his arm without touching me. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

Clearly, it was time for me to go. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave. The shirt just didn’t feel like a good enough present for all the things he’d made me feel. On the other hand, no matter how much he’d given me, I wanted more.

“Salas.” I took a step toward him, unsure how to say it.

He met me halfway, stepping so close, I could feel the warmth of his body through his clothes. I would’ve given anything for him to hold me again, but he wouldn’t even touch me.

“I’ll never forget you,” I breathed out. “Wherever you are.”

Lifting his hand, he skimmed with the tips of his fingers down the side of my face. His touch was light, like a caress of a breeze.

“You will,” he said. “As you should.”

He was right, of course. The smart thing would be to forget this man and what his touch had made me feel. But defiance rose in me when he stated it so adamantly.

Rising on my toes, I hugged his neck. He let me guide him down to me, and I pressed my mouth to his. The muscles in his neck stiffened, turning solid like stone. But he parted his lips for me, accepting my kiss. His tongue met mine. He released a soft moan, and I swallowed it in the kiss I never wanted to end. It was tainted with bitterness and desperation, but I devoured it anyway, as long as I still could.

Like always, he pulled back first, his shoulders squared, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Princess.” His voice was rough, but the word came out soft and tender like a caress.

I forced my fingers to unclench, releasing the hair on the back of his head, then removed my hands from him, hurt by every bit of distance building between us. I pressed my forehead to his chest, unable to let go of him completely.

“I’ve taken a lot from you already,” I whispered.

“You’ve taken nothing I haven’t wished to give you.”

I pushed myself away from him. Why was it so hard to do? As if my body was made of metal and he was a powerful, inescapable magnet.

“You and I, Salas, we have unfinished business. And it’s only up to you if you want to finish it.”

I didn’t look up. I didn’t want to see his face, scared of the rejection I might read on it. From what I knew, his life had been a series of obstacles on the path of survival, and I’d just selfishly thrown another hurdle in his way.

But I couldn’t help it. I wanted him enough to risk it all, including his peace and mine.

As he moved away from me, I turned on my heel and ran. Back to the palace. Back to my room, where my crown waited for me along with a massive load of official obligations, none of which included Salas.