Chapter 10

Ari

T he maid was still lacing the bodice of my morning dress when Gem barged into my dressing room.

“And how is the crown princess this morning?” she thrilled in a sing-song voice.

How was I?

I was a tangled mess of emotions, some of which were a polar opposite to each other.

“I’m great,” I lied with a casual smile.

Salas had left. I’d asked him to stay for the day, but upon further consideration, I had to agree with him: it wouldn’t be wise. Spending any time together during the day would lead to getting to know each other far beyond what was required under the terms of our arrangement.

Gem studied me for a moment.

“What should I report to—” She cut herself off with a cautious glance at the maid. “Are you done here, dear?”

“Almost, my lady.” The maid hastily tugged at the cord, pulling it through the loops.

I remembered how smoothly Salas had accomplished that process in reverse last night. He’d navigated through all my barriers with ease and achieved what no man had done before. He’d made me accept his touch. He’d made me enjoy and even crave it...

Oh, Goddess... I did crave it, I realized.

“Let me finish it.” Gem sent the maid away and took over her task, lacing my dress for me. “The queen canceled your breakfast with her this morning. She’s working in her study instead. But she’s already asked me about how the things are going with your new ‘mentor.’” Gem snorted a laugh. “Isn’t it sweet she calls him that? I find it adorable how supportive the queen is of your rolling in the sheets with that slave. My mother used to scold me for bringing boys to my room. She worried they’d distract me from my studies. But then again, I was at least a decade younger than you when I started having an interest in boys. Mother must’ve thought they’d be all I’d ever care about.” Gem yanked on the laces, tying them at my waist. “So, should I let the queen know your mentor has accomplished what he was hired for? It’s been two nights already.”

“Normally... one night would be more than enough. But with you...” Salas’s words echoed in my mind.

For once, I was grateful for it taking longer. I wasn’t ready to part from him yet.

I couldn’t hide Salas from Gem, but I rigorously protected the feelings he’d caused in me. They pulsed warmly in my chest, like fragile saplings taking root, and I made sure not a single ray of their light shone through.

“No need.” I kept my expression neutral, stepping out of Gem’s reach the moment she was done with the dress. “I’ll talk to Mother myself.”

I found Queen Anna in her study, putting the final touches on her speech to the council. She raised her head from her work as I entered.

“Good morning, Ari dearest.” She set her quill aside and greeted me with a smile. “Is it true what they’re telling me? Are things going well with your... um...”

I couldn’t recall if I ever saw the queen so lost for words before.

“With my initiation into sex, you mean?” I finished for her, forcing her to blink uncomfortably. “Yes, Mother. It’s going splendidly. I’ll be ready to impart my new knowledge on my future husband in no time.”

“Well,” she cleared her throat, “that is very good to know.”

I leaned forward, propping my hands on her dark cherry desk.

“I want to pay off my mentor’s entire debt, Mother.”

I wasn’t sure exactly when the idea of Salas remaining a slave had become unacceptable for me, but simply shortening his contract no longer felt good enough. He had to be free. Immediately.

My demand surprised the queen. Her slim eyebrows moved closer in a frown of concentration, as she must be trying to find a reason behind my demand.

“No one should be a slave,” I explained. “No matter how much money they owe.”

Her expression hardened. She drew in a breath, leaning back in her high-backed, carved-oak chair.

“Are you planning to pay the debt of all slaves in Rorrim then? Because as the future ruler of the country, you can’t favor any one person without considering the impact it would have on the rest.”

I pushed away from her desk and crossed my arms over my chest.

“Not every slave was in my bed last night, Mother.”

The political implications of my decision were the reason I came to speak with her in the first place. I knew what I had to do, but I needed to figure out the best way of doing it.

This time, the queen remained as calm as the surface of the pond in the royal gardens on a windless day.

“Our agreement with him stipulates the sum of one year, Ari. Why would you amend that?”

“One year is not enough. I don’t want him to be a slave for even a day longer.”

She folded her hands on the table. “And why is that? Do you feel remorseful about spending time with a man so much below you in station? Do you think elevating him would make you feel better?”

I groaned in frustration. How could such a highly intelligent woman like my mother get something so simple so very wrong.

“I don’t want just to ‘elevate him.’ I want him—”

I realized I was going to say “happy.”

After just two nights spent with Salas, I already cared about his happiness and wellbeing. Eventually, we’d part, and I’d never see him again. But I had to know that he was free and happy out there somewhere, living a life that he could never have if he remained property of the slave owner.

“I want him free,” I said instead.

Mother studied my face. “It would take a considerable amount of money to buy his freedom, Ari.”

“I know. I’ll take it from my annual allowance, or I can sell some of my jewelry to bypass the necessity for council’s approval.” I could go without a few new dresses, and I certainly had enough diamond necklaces to last me a lifetime.

“You cannot keep a move like that from the council. It’d bring more harm if you’re discovered hiding something like that from them.”

“Then I will disclose my intentions at the next meeting.”

“There is a strong chance they will not support it.” Resting her elbows on the table, the queen pinched the bridge of her nose. “Either way, they will demand an explanation.”

“I can explain—”

“How?” Mother pinned me with her stare. Her disappointment was almost palpable. It crushed my heart. “How can you possibly explain your sudden interest in this slave? How can you even admit it publicly, without inviting all kinds of questions and risking a slew of malicious rumors? Especially now, when we’re facing dowry negotiations and every misstep on our part could mean a loss of valuable concessions?”

“So, having the man in my bed is not a problem. But buying his freedom is?”

“Exactly. It’s perfectly acceptable for a young woman to gain some sexual experience before her marriage. Anything more than that, however, makes it look like favoritism. We don’t want anyone to think you have taken a lover. Not while your marriage is being arranged and negotiated.”

I huffed in frustration.

“I can fuck him, but I’m not allowed to care for him.”

The queen flinched at my choice of words, but her voice remained steady when she explained, “The crown princess only cares for her country, her family, and her husband. In that exact order. Taking a lover at this time would indicate to the foreign powers that your interests lie elsewhere and that their union with us may lack commitment on our part.”

“But I’m not taking a lover.”

“Your action will be interpreted as if you were. Doing him favors of such magnitude implies it.”

I scraped a hand down my face, disheartened but refusing to give up.

“I feel very strongly about this, Mother, enough to stand in front of the council and defend it until my voice is gone. However, if there is any other way to do it, I’ll consider it.”

Resting her elbows on the table, she placed her chin on her fingers laced together. “Tell me, daughter, why do you care about this slave?”

I wasn’t supposed to care. I had every intention not to. But how could I send Salas to the back-breaking labor again and to any potential punishments with a whip now? How could I live, knowing what he would be going through daily for the next two years?

“He is a person, isn’t he?” I said. “Born free, like all of us in Rorrim. Why is it so wrong of me to want to give him his freedom back?”

“Are you sure there is nothing more behind that wish of yours?” the queen probed.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’ve been perfectly aware of the purpose of our arrangement from the beginning. I’ve successfully avoided getting to know him more than necessary for that purpose. There is no attachment or any deep affection between us, if that’s what you’re implying. I am fully prepared to part from him for good. Rest assured, Mother, there is nothing ‘more’ that the crown should worry about.”

“It’s smart of you to remember that.” Mother nodded. “But I didn’t expect anything less than smart from my daughter.”

“Mother, I’ll never see him again. But he will be out there somewhere, living his life, and I want that life to be good.”

Doubt crossed the queen’s features.

“You do realize that freedom will not guarantee it for him? What made him a slave in the first place can very well bring him back to an owner again. Many slaves see their servitude as a solution, not a problem.”

“I understand that. I know that I can’t keep watching over him indefinitely or foresee all possible pitfalls in his future. Ultimately, Salas is not my responsibility. But there is one thing I can do for him right now, and I want to do it. I want to pay off his debt. All of it.”

“I see.” Cupping her chin, she seemed to consider it. “The request and the money will have to come from me,” she finally said.

“From you?”

“Yes.” She nodded firmly. “You’ve already argued on his behalf in front of the council once. Doing it again would definitely imply a connection between you and him. It is better if I champion his case instead of you this time.”

Breath rushed out of me with relief.

“Will you, Mother? Really?”

“I can present buying out his freedom as a gesture of gratitude for ‘mentoring’ services rendered. There will be nothing personal behind us paying off his debts.”

“Thank you.” I pressed my hands to my chest.

She looked at me sternly.

“You will have to end all associations with this man in the future.”

“That is the plan, Mother.”

“Has our agreement with him been fulfilled?”

“Almost. I... I just need one more night.”

Some things couldn’t be rushed, like Salas said. One more night with him won’t solve all my problems and magically erase all my inhibitions. I didn’t believe it’d even bring me much closer to losing my virginity. But I wanted to at least say goodbye to him. I had to see him one more time.

“All right,” Mother conceded. “Ask Gem to arrange it. But from then on, we shall focus on securing you the best marriage match possible. You don’t need any complications that may potentially spoil things for you in that matter.”

“I have no intentions of maintaining any kind of association with Salas in the future,” I promised.

There simply was no form in which we could continue “associating” with each other. And once the work on the palace had been completed, the slave owner would move her group elsewhere. Realistically, there’d even be no chance for me to run into Salas ever again.

“Very well.” Mother seemed satisfied with my reassurances. “Since I have you here this morning, why don’t we go see your father?” She rose from her chair, putting away the speech she was working on. “I would like for you to see the portraits of the potential grooms we have selected and to hear your opinion about them. There is still some time before the council session.”

This was not how I planned to spend this morning. But she had just agreed to “champion” Salas’s case for me, the least I could do was to look at those portraits.

“Alright. Let’s go see Father. Where is he?”

“In his parlor, I assume.”

Father’s rooms occupied the gentleman’s wing of the queen’s palace. The front room of the wing served as his personal parlor where he received his gentlemen-in-waiting on the evenings when the queen was preoccupied elsewhere, and he was not required to accompany her.

Since Mother had canceled our breakfast, Father was spending the unexpected free time alone. We found him in his favorite reading spot in the window seat in his parlor.

He appeared flustered when we entered after only a brief knock on the door. Promptly getting off his seat, he shoved the book he was reading behind a dusty stack of volumes on duck husbandry and bird hunting. I glimpsed the title of the book he’d been reading. It was the eleventh volume of the complete political history of Rorrim Queendom. This type of reading material was considered too complex for a gentleman’s brain and therefore not appropriate for men.

If Mother saw his book, she pretended she didn’t.

“Good morning, darling.” She placed a kiss on his cheek.

Father yanked the ends of his dressing robe closed over his modest potbelly. “Please forgive my appearance, Your Majesty. Had I known you’d visit, I would’ve taken care to dress appropriately this morning.”

Mother waved him off gently. “You look lovely, dear, in whatever you wear.”

“Morning, Father.” Rising on my tiptoes, I kissed his cheek too, then adjusted the pompom of his sleeping cap over his shoulder. “You look great.”

“Have you eaten yet?” Father fussed. “I shall ring for some breakfast.”

He headed for the ribbon of the bell by the door.

“I have to be in a meeting soon,” Mother declined.

“Maybe at least a cup of coffee with some morning bread?” Father remained hopeful.

She shook her head. “Sadly, no time to spare. I just had another item added to my already busy agenda this morning.” She didn’t look at me, but I knew she was referring to my request to buy Salas’s freedom. “Actually, it may be good for Ari to skip the council session today if she wants to have coffee or tea with you later.”

She seemed not to want me around when the council discussed Salas’s case. Maybe she didn’t trust me not to jump into the discussion and betray my “personal interest” in his fate.

“I’ll gladly have breakfast with you, Father.” I trusted Mother to fulfill her promise. If she believed it was best for me to stay away, I had no problem with complying.

The king rang the bell and sent a footman for some coffee, bread, jam, and cold cuts for us for later. Once that had been settled, he faced us with the brightest smile on his face.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my two favorite people here this morning?”

“Ari would like to see the princes, darling,” Mother announced.

“Excellent,” he exclaimed. “I’ll get the portraits right away.”

Out of his inner rooms, he brought a leather-bound case and placed it on the cigar display table.

Like most high-born gentlemen, Father didn’t smoke. But a man of his standing was expected to own an expansive collection of cigars. It was believed that women appreciated a trace of tobacco in a male’s scent but not the yellow teeth or foul breath that came from smoking it. As a result, many noble men carried a cigar in their breast pocket, regardless of whether they ever smoked one or not.

From the case, Father produced three frames and set them up on the table, propping them on their unfolding stands.

“Prince Nevar, Prince Leafar, and Prince Elbon, Your Highness.” Father gestured at each picture gallantly as if introducing the actual live people to me.

“What do you think?” Mother looked at me expectantly.

What could I think?

The men in the pictures looked equally good. Each had a different color hair, eyes, and skin. Each styled his hair differently and wore the distinct clothing of his country. All looked like they had barely crossed from boyhood into adulthood. And none made my heart beat any faster.

“They’re handsome.” I nodded.

“Aren’t they?” Mother agreed excitedly.

One of them would eventually become my husband. However, the warmest feeling I could imagine developing for either of them was something like an affection toward a younger brother, which would be fine if it wasn’t for that pesky issue of procreation to continue the ruling line.

“They look so young,” I added.

“Prince Elbon and Prince Nevar are eighteen,” Father said. “Prince Leafar has just turned nineteen.”

Mother brought her hands together, nodding with approval. “Just the right age for a man to get married.”

“What makes it the right age?” I asked.

“They are in their prime time for procreation,” Father explained. “Old enough to ensure healthy offspring, but not too old for their virtue to have been compromised.”

“Men are lustful by nature,” Mother commented with a sigh. “Parents of boys often face a real challenge when preserving their sons’ purity. As the boys grow older, they’re faced with more temptations. It’s best to marry them off early, to give them the much-needed guidance and protection of a wife in a timely manner.”

Father nodded as she spoke, agreeing with every word. “The families of all three princes vouch for their purity, of course.”

“Of course,” I echoed flatly.

I loved spending time with my parents. Right now, however, I would rather carry loads of bricks in the scorching heat outside than be here with them. The whole situation felt more uncomfortable than an ill-fitting shoe.

Now, they both stared at me expectantly, as if waiting for me to choose a husband right then and there.

When I said nothing, Mother gestured at the pictures.

“Trebor, why don’t you tell Ari a little about each prince?”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” Father stood behind the first picture, placing his hands on the frame. “Prince Elbon is the nephew of the Queen of Tresed Queendom.”

“Right. He’s the one with hounds and horses.” I remembered the ambassador gushing about the prince.

Prince Elbon reminded me a little of the ambassador’s husband. He had the same serene expression in his dark eyes, his mahogany-brown hair was also braided in neat rows close to his head, their ends hanging down to his shoulders.

“Yes. He is very passionate about both horses and hounds,” Father confirmed.

“The ambassador has made it very clear that our treaty with Tresed Queendom would be renewed on extremely favorable terms were Prince Elbon to become your king consort, Ari,” Mother said. “However, we need to keep in mind that he’s only the queen’s nephew. Her own son is too young for marriage, but it’s safe to assume that the queen will ensure her son’s dowry is much more generous when he’s of age. That new union may weaken our standing with Tresed in the future.”

“The other two princes are queen’s sons, aren’t they?” I knew enough about the current royal families to remember that.

“Yes.” Mother pointed at the picture of a pale-faced young man with raven-black hair braided into a long plait. “Prince Nevar is the only son of the Queen of Western Islands.” She then gestured at the picture of the blue-eyed man with his medium-length blond hair coiffured into a frame of curls around his youthful face. “Prince Leafar is the youngest and rumored favorite son of the Queen of Olakrez.”

“Are they both into hounds and horses too?” I asked since it looked like some response was expected from me here.

“They are,” Father chimed in. “Prince Leafar is an excellent rider. He participates in horse races and has been an undefeated champion in his country for the past two years.”

“The prince has no shortage of marriage proposals,” Mother added. “The queen has declined a number of them already, searching for a perfect match for him. However, I have it on good authority that our courting efforts will be favored by her.”

“What is his mother offering as his dowry?” I asked.

Since the princes’ appearance made no difference to me, I might as well use a more materialistic approach.

“As a part of his dowry, our peace treaty with Olakrez would be extended for one hundred years.”

That made me pause. “One hundred years? Really?”

The last Rorrim war was with Olakrez. It lasted for several years and completely devastated the people of the disputed territories on both sides of the border. The historical accounts of the brutalities of that war were hard to read. I couldn’t even imagine what it was like to live through them.

The peace treaty was several centuries old now, but it remained shaky and was renewed on a year-by-year basis, constantly hanging over our heads like a sword ready to drop. A guaranteed peace for an entire century would bring a lasting stability to the relationship between our queendoms.

“Mother, Father.” I moved my eyes from her to him. “Prince Leafar it is, then.”

“Splendid.” Father clasped his hands together. “An excellent choice, dearest.”

However, Mother’s forehead furrowed with a deep wrinkle of concern.

“It’s not a decision to be made lightly, Ari.”

“I didn’t make it lightly, Mother. I gave it some thought.”

Granted, it was just a few moments of thought, but I didn’t believe it would make any difference if I took weeks or even months to decide.

My reassurance didn’t seem to lift the queen’s concerns.

“This will have an effect on the rest of your life, daughter,” she said. “You need to consider the man, not just his dowry.”

“But I’ve never met any of these men.”

“True.” Mother rubbed her chin. “I’ve been thinking about how to rectify that. I’m planning to invite delegations from each queendom for a friendly visit with games and tournaments for the princes to participate in.”

“Do you think they will travel all this way just for a chance of my proposal? I can only marry one, the other two will have to return home empty handed.”

“Ari, you are the most eligible bachelorette in the world right now. They’d be fools to turn down even the slightest chance to meet you and win your heart. I will put together a request to the council to come up with a program of the events and the budget. I’m sure the council will approve the visits. Everyone wants to see you happily married, and it takes more than a dowry to be happy. You’ll have to meet the princes to see who you have the best connection with. Remember, he will be your spouse for the rest of your life. If you choose wrong, you’ll have to deal with the consequences for as long as you live. The only thing worse than a demanding, capricious husband is an aggressive one with a bad temper.” She curved her lips in distaste.

The one with a bad temper was the least desirable type of a husband.

A comparison nagged at me like a faint tapping from a distant past, striving to break through, until it finally jumped to the forefront of my mind. The way men sometimes were perceived as aggressive in Rorrim reminded me of how assertive women were quickly labeled as difficult in my old world.

For the first time in years, I allowed the memories of that world to enter my mind freely. I considered and analyzed them calmly, and it didn’t destroy me.

A valet arrived with the breakfast Father had ordered.

Mother smoothed the skirts of her morning dress. “Well, it’s been a delightful morning, my darlings. I hate to leave you, but I have a busy day ahead.” She gave Father a parting peck on a cheek, then kissed my forehead. “We’ll talk later, Ari. Matters like this shouldn’t be rushed, despite how much you wish to settle down or how much I long for a granddaughter.”

Father put away the portraits, and his valet served our coffee and tea on a low table by Father’s favorite window seat.

“Would you like to see the dogs now, my king?” the valet inquired.

Father’s eyes lit up. “Yes, please. Bring them in.” He then turned to me. “I hope you don’t mind them being here, sweetie.”

“Not at all.” I shook my head. “Could you please bring Ria too?”

While Ria’s parents dozed on the velvet cushions at Father’s feet, the puppy played with a stuffed squirrel. She growled, attacking it, which made me laugh.

“She’s quite a vicious one.”

“Lapdogs often are.” Father smiled, drinking his tea. “It’s good that they’re small or they’d be too dangerous to keep as pets.”

I draped a thin slice of a cured ham over a toast, then moved it around my plate absentmindedly.

The king gave me a close look before setting his cup down. “Are you nervous about the upcoming nuptials, Ari?”

“Not exactly nervous, just... apprehensive a little,” I admitted. “I wish there was a way to postpone this whole thing.”

“Well, the wedding isn’t going to happen tomorrow. These things take time, hopefully enough time for you to get used to the idea.”

“Hopefully,” I exhaled. “Were you nervous when marrying Mother?”

His smile softened. “I was. But mostly I remember feeling excited. A woman may see marriage as an added responsibility. Some view it as an obligation or even a trap. But for a man, it’s the most important event in his life. I’d been preparing for the role of a groom my entire life. It was exhilarating to have it finally happen.” He laughed quietly. “I was too excited to eat anything that morning and nearly passed out at the altar. Your mother held my hands and yanked them when I swayed backwards. I believe I would’ve fallen if it wasn’t for her.”

The many years of difference in their age had been smoothed out with time. The shared experiences during their long marriage undoubtedly brought them closer too.

“I hope my marriage is like yours, that my husband and I will become good friends.”

He nodded, picking up his cup again. “I got very lucky with your mother as my wife. She is exceptional both as a queen and a woman. She’s been caring and respectful toward me, which as you may know is not always a given in a marriage.” He reached over to cover my hand with his. “You may or may not love your future husband, Ari, but please be kind to him. Remember he will have left his home and his family to be with you. Physical attraction is often flitting, but mutual respect provides a solid foundation for any union.” He chewed on his lip as if carefully considering the subject he was about to breach. “Your mother never kept lovers, Ari, which is highly unusual for a queen, especially one who has tried and failed to conceive an heiress. No other man has ever caught her attention after our marriage, and I’m eternally grateful to her for that.” He petted my hand before letting go of it. “If you show respect to your future husband, he’ll pay you back in loyalty and devotion. Then the two of you can get through anything in life.”

I ate my sandwich, slowly churning Father’s words over in my head. I was sure he meant to support and encourage me, but his words failed to spark even the slightest enthusiasm in me for this wedding. Maybe Mother was right, and meeting my future husband would help.

“How many times did you get to see Mother before your wedding?” I asked.

“A few. Briefly. The longest one was when we danced at the ball that her mother, the late queen, gave in honor of my arrival from Olakrez. I think I left a good impression on your mother. She kissed me after the ball. That was our first kiss.”

“Maybe if people were allowed to court for longer, to get to know each other a little better, it would be easier?”

He looked doubtful. “Courting is difficult between royals. It’s hard to meet while living in different countries.”

“How does it happen between people who aren’t royals and when there are no treaties to worry about?”

“A dowry is always a consideration, regardless of one’s social standing,” Father explained. “But usually, a woman interested in a man can visit his family home and meet him before proposing. The meeting happens with a chaperone present, of course. Usually, that would be an older family member or the boy’s tutor, depending on the future groom’s age. The bride would bring gifts and have a conversation with her chosen one.”

“What kind of gifts?”

“That very much depends on the woman’s station and level of income as well as her desire to impress the man and his family. Not that you have to worry about any of that, dearest. We already arranged to send a prized stallion and a master-crafted sword to each of your potential grooms.”

“Thanks. But what if I had to do it myself, what could I give as a gift?”

He tapped on his chin, considering his answer. “Weapons, hounds, or horses are always good choices. Once the couple is officially engaged and know each other better, the gifts can be a little more intimate. Like a piece of manly jewelry, a fashionable cravat, or a nice shirt.”

In all my life I hadn’t yet met a man whom I could personally gift a horse or a cravat. But a shirt? Salas would wear a shirt.

The thought hit me like a cannonball. Why did I think about Salas all of a sudden? Probably because he was the only man I’d had any kind of a relationship with, as brief and superficial as it was meant to be.

“Are you alright, Ari?” Father’s concerned voice reached me. “You look rather pale. Is there something in the food? This bread seems a little stale, doesn’t it? I don’t think it was freshly baked this morning.”

“No. The bread is good. I’m fine. Just a bit...”

“Probably nervous after all, aren’t you?” he asked sympathetically. “Some fresh air should do you good. Shall we take the puppies for a walk? Or better yet,” his voice lifted, “how about we go to the city? It’s a market day, and I could use a new pair of gloves. What do you say? If you take me, I can leave my usual escort of gentlemen-in-waiting behind. It’d be just you and me.”

There was no time for a trip to the market. Even without the council meeting this morning, I still had a long list of things to attend today. But he looked at me with so much hope and excitement, it hurt to upset him.

“Sorry, I can’t do it today, Father. But I promise to make time for the next market day.”

“Will you?” He grinned before placing a loud smooch on my cheek. “I can’t wait. But I’ll try to be patient.”