12. Horrormoon

NICHOLAS

We were surrounded by trees, as always, although for a change, there were no mountains, and the trees looked different. Fewer needles, more leaves. Heavy guitars blared from the radio in my minivan.

Jason pointed to the right. "It should be here, just half a mile down the road."

I turned on my blinkers and checked for oncoming traffic, even though we'd only seen three cars in the last fifty minutes—four if I counted the one parked in a driveway.

This place was even deader than Seastone. But the first rule of living in my minivan, which I had followed for years, was never to risk wrecking your mobile home. So, I was always checking for oncoming traffic.

As predicted, the street was as empty as my stomach. I turned and followed Jason's directions. The trees hung so low that you couldn't see anything but them—not a horizon, not the end of the road.

"Stop, stop ," Jason yelled, reaching for my shoulder.

I checked the rearview mirror to make sure there was no one behind us (there wasn't, of course) and slammed on the brakes.

Jason pointed to a sign on our right.

Ghost Hill

Put your car in neutral and let the spirits push you.

As well-rehearsed as we were by now, Jason pulled out his phone, pointed it at me, and flipped his thumb up to show that he was recording.

I cleared my throat and turned to face the camera. "Hey, guys. It's day three of our horrormoon, and today, my hubby took me to Ghost Hill. As you can see, the road is on a hill going up, but they say that if you put the car in neutral, the ghosts will push you up. Well, it's time to find out if it's true."

With my hand on the gear stick, I waited for Jason to follow with the camera and then put the car in neutral. Jason panned back to me but moved the camera between our seats so that he could film me and the road in one shot.

We waited five seconds.

And another five.

Nothing happened.

I pulled my eyebrows together, trying to figure out if something was wrong because the car not moving at all was odd. My eyes darted to the dashboard, to the gearshift, and to my foot, which was still pressed deep into the brakes. "Oh, shit." It laughed at the camera. "I need to take my foot off the brake, right?" I slowly let go and stared back at the road.

For another second, nothing—but then the car moved… forward .

Excitement flooded my body as I slapped my palms against the steering wheel. "No way."

We, indeed, were moving up the hill. Slowly but steadily.

"There's no fucking way," I yelled into the camera, taking in what was happening.

We let the car roll for thirty seconds before I stepped on the brakes again, laughing like I was still twenty-one. I turned to the camera. "Well, I guess that was right. Wow! Thanks, guys. Stay tuned for our next stop."

Jason ended the recording and let out a cheer he had been holding in for the sake of the video. "I didn't think it would actually look like that."

"It's an optical illusion, isn't it?"

"Yeah, something about not being able to see the horizon." He was beaming from ear to ear that his surprise had worked out. "Do you want to take some shots of the sign?"

I stared at him for a second and then nodded. His smile made me smile, too. He seemed even more excited about each place we went to than I was, even though he was the one who had planned it all as a surprise for me. He handed me the phone, but as I took it, I leaned in to steal a kiss. When I drew my mouth back, Jason's cheeks were red.

"I wonder what I'm going to get when you see our final destination," he said.

He didn't tell me where we were going the whole trip. I didn't even think we'd go on a honeymoon, considering how much trouble it was already to cover all the shifts at the gas station for the three days we had for the wedding. (It was a mess. We had to fix up five rooms at the hotel so that our parents, my little brother, and my grandma could visit. Then, hosting them while getting to know them, handling the awkward conversations between my mom and dad, who hadn't seen each other since their divorce, hiding how weird the proposal was, and taking over one night at the gas station because Gary had an unexpected stomach bug. We made memories for a lifetime, but it was stressful.)

But after our families had left, he was like, ‘Now pack your bags. We're hitting the road.' And he didn't let me in on what was coming, so every stop was a surprise. So far, it has been a complete success. We've been to an Ultimate Fright Night at an amusement park (that was more like what our proposal night should have been like), watched three horror movies in a row at a drive-in cinema (yes, we made out in the backseat), seen an old-fashioned dinosaur park from the sixties (the animatronics were so cool), slept in my car in the middle of the woods (oh the nostalgia) and done an escape room that took place completely in the dark (they only gave us electric candles. It was wild. We beat it with twelve seconds on the clock). Gravity Hill was the only thing he told me about beforehand, but just because he accidentally let it slip out during breakfast.

At every stop, he filmed what we were doing because he insisted I wanted to document it, even though I told him that not everything had to go on my channel. ‘If not for them, then let's document it for us,' he said, and I couldn't argue with that.

The longer we were on the road, the stranger the things he had in store for us became, and the deeper my love for him grew.

I put the car in reverse, backed up until the Ghost Hill sign was in front of us again, turned on my hazard lights, and jumped out of the car to take some quick shots of the sign and its surroundings—all under Jason's patient gaze.

From there, it was only a fifteen-minute drive before we reached a secluded two-story house on a hill. The white front blended into the pale blue sky behind it. There was only a single tree in the backyard, and the rest of the hill was just a plain mowed-to-death lawn. Another minivan was parked in front of it, and a woman in an airy black dress that swayed in the breeze stood beside it.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Our bed-and-breakfast for the night."

The car shook under the gravel path leading to the house. When she spotted us, a creepy smile appeared on her face. Before I could even turn off the engine, she had walked up to us and motioned at me to roll down the window, which I did.

With her long brown hair blowing in the wind, she leaned her pale face in. "You're the Taft-Burns family?"

I gazed at Jason. "That's right."

"Who's Taft, and who's Burns?" she asked.

"I'm the one who's burning ," I replied.

"Then this is for you." She pulled a clipboard with a contract on it from behind her back and handed it to me. "I need you to sign this waiver. Just so that you can't sue us if you die. The tough guy already signed it online." She eyed Jason. "Love the eye patch, by the way."

I glanced at Jason, who nodded in agreement, obviously knowing what this was all about.

"Dying?" I asked him, scanning the text.

"I didn't call it horror moon for nothing," he replied, pointing to the dotted line.

I took a deep breath, shook my head, and wrote my new last name without reading the text thoroughly. "Just so you know, ma'am…" I handed the clipboard back to her. "…we've sworn to haunt anyone who's partly responsible for our deaths."

"What a nice way to stay in touch," she replied, exchanging the clipboard for a keychain with twenty keys on it. "I'll see you in the morning. Be it as ghosts or alive and kicking— if you survive the night." She put her index finger to her mouth as a demonically wide grin spread across her face. With the most devilish laugh I had ever heard from a woman, she turned around and walked to her car.

I watched her drive away in my rearview mirror. "Horror-themed bed-and-breakfast? You know me way too well."

"Happens." Jason ducked his head to take in the building in front of us. "We have the whole place to ourselves. Supposedly, there's a big red button in the kitchen if things get too scary and we want to turn off the automation."

"Are you kidding me?" I frowned.

"When she told me on the phone, I already let her know we would not push it, but she just laughed as evil as right now and only said, ‘I've heard that before.' "

We got out of the car and walked up a small flight of stairs.

Once we reached the front door, I stared at the keychain in my hand. "How am I supposed to know which one opens the door?"

"I guess that's part of the fun." Jason took a step back, pulled out his phone, and pointed it at me. He cleared his throat and gave me a thumbs up, clearly knowing that we couldn't pass up the opportunity to film everything firsthand.

None of the keys worked. We wandered around the building for ten minutes until we figured out that we had to get inside through the storm shelter. This led us to the basement, which was pitch black, dusty, and, for some reason, full of mannequins. I was sure that one of them would probably move without warning as I led Jason through the darkness. But nothing of the sort happened.

We took our time, and after three minutes, we finally made it up the stairs that led us into the building. Luckily, the door that led to the kitchen was unlocked, so there was no need to fumble with the big-ass keychain again.

The first floor looked surprisingly nice. It was a new kitchen, matching the overall white-painted wooden style of the house, with lots of appliances. A small tower with a big red button on it stood in the middle of the room, with a laminated note taped to the top.

Jason picked it up. "If at any point this experience feels too real, press this button. It will stop all the pre-programmed effects. Hopefully ." He looked at me and held it up, laughing. "I love their uncertainty about whether the place is haunted for real."

The sound of a bell rang through the house. We looked at each other and remained silent for a second to see if it would ring again.

"Are you expecting someone?" I asked.

Jason shook his head. We both turned to the open casing that led from the kitchen into the small foyer that connected the kitchen, living room, and upstairs. The walls displayed thirteen framed pictures of a heterosexual couple in their forties and their two teenagers. Two plants lined the doorway and made everything look so pretty that you'd never know this place was horror-themed.

Jason walked up to the door, peered through the spyhole, and laughed. "Look," he said and stepped aside.

I pressed my eye against the spy, and a curved view of the front porch showed only my car in the back. "There's no one there—" A pale face that looked like the wrinkled old version of the Dad in the pictures on the wall appeared in the spy, staring right at me. Startled, I stumbled back and would have fallen on my ass if Jason hadn't caught me in his arms.

"What is it?" Jason took my place and looked through the spy again, only to furrow his eyebrows at me like I was crazy a second later. "Why did you scream?"

"There was a face!" I pushed him aside and pressed my eye to the hole, but now all I could see was the empty porch and my minivan in the background.

This place might have been more horror-themed than the decor had us believe.

Jason looked at me like he wasn't sure if I was telling the truth. He looked out there again, but even after five seconds, he pulled his head back and shook it.

"I'm not making this up," I said.

He stepped in front of me, took my hands, and kissed me on the cheek. "I believe you. I've heard that scream before. It doesn't happen unless you're genuinely startled."

"Thank you." I brought my lips close to his, and just as they were about to touch, a loud knock on the door interrupted us.

We both spun around and just as we faced the entrance, the plant on the right side of the door toppled over, followed by all the picture frames on the wall next to it shaking as if they were afraid—one after the other, almost as if some entity was moving them, making its way toward us.

I screamed again and wrapped my arms around Jason, who was biting his lips to keep from laughing while I was still enjoying the scare.

Just as the frame next to us started to shake, they all stopped at the same time.

For a second, everything went silent.

With a buzzing sound, the eyes of the people in the pictures glowed red, and they all turned upside down like synchronized swimmers.

Behind us, a loud, shrill shriek forced us to turn around. We hugged each other tighter as the chandelier hanging above the stairs fell a few inches, the glass ornaments now shaking as if an earthquake had hit us.

Everything stopped at once.

We turned back to the door. The frames looked as if nothing had ever happened to them. The plants stood as straight and healthy as when we first walked in.

No more strange noises, nothing.

We clung to each other, and after a second of silence, we both burst out laughing.

"Do you like it?" Jason asked, still holding me.

"How did you even find this place?" I kissed him. I grabbed both of his cheeks and held them tight because this was so damn awesome that he deserved a deep, intense smooch. "You're amazing."

"Come on, let's make some more videos," Jason said, reaching into his pocket.

I didn't let him pull out his phone. I held his head and pushed my tongue deeper into his mouth, which he willingly accepted.

"How about we make some videos later?" I moved my hand from his cheek down to his crotch, grabbing his bulge and squeezing it gently. "And instead, I'll give you your reward now?"

"You want to have sex with all this going on?"

"Is that weird?"

The smirk on his face spoke volumes. "It's actually kind of what I was hoping for."

His bulge grew in my hand, as did the smile on my face. I kept my eyes on him as I knelt to bring my head to the proper height. His hands searched for my hair, brushing through it before pulling my face into his crotch.

I could feel his hard cock through the fabric, pressing against me, eager to be freed and shoved into my mouth. I pulled my head back, my hands unbuttoning his pants, pulling down the zipper to reveal his black boxers, so full they were about to burst. My fingers couldn't wait and reached under the waistband, pulling the fabric down just enough for his dick and balls to pop out while the rest of his clothes stayed where they were.

I pushed my nose into his balls and took a deep breath to inhale his masculine scent, which made my dick twitch. My eyes darted up to his face, staring down at me with an eager expression that told me he wanted this just as much as I did. I opened my mouth and let my tongue slide over his balls, eliciting a soft moan from him. He licked over his lips as if to show me what he hoped I would do. I opened my mouth wider and sucked on his balls, swirling my tongue around them. He moaned again, louder this time, not taking his eyes off mine. He caressed the back of my head. I repositioned myself slightly to get better access and ran my tongue up his shaft, swirling it around his glans before taking it in completely.

His hips moved forward, his knees buckling for a second, but they stayed strong, just like his cock. Having him inside me like this, his arms wrapped around my head, was something I wanted to do until the day I died. If my last moments, hopefully still far away, were like this, I'd go out a satisfied man.

I ran my palms under his shirt and felt his stomach. The little hairs he had there were soft and tickling my fingers as I brushed through them.

Jason followed my lead and reached through the head hole of my shirt, down my back. He tugged at it, pulling it out of my pants. I let go of his dick, and he pulled my sweater and shirt off completely. He leaned over and hung it on one of the coat hooks on the wall, and just as he did that, an otherworldly groan echoed through the room, and the sweater fell to the floor.

We both stared at it for a moment. But after a chuckle, we went right back to work.

"Nothing comes between my husband and my dick," Jason said. "Not even otherworldly beings."

I licked his shaft. "You know, what I heard is an antidote for ghosts and poltergeists?"

"My cum in your mouth?"

"Supposedly, it works better than holy water."

He nodded. "Especially when taken straight from the source, huh?"

"Exactly." I wrapped my lips around his glans.

Jason held nothing back. He moved his hips opposite to my head so that his dick slid in and out of me as fast as possible. His glans poked into my throat, and I couldn't wait for him to give me the delicious taste I was craving.

"Fuck, I'm getting close," he said and pulled out, his right hand rushing to his cock to stroke it.

I licked over his balls one last time before opening my mouth wide and sticking out my tongue.

Watching him jerk off his dick so close to my face was a sight to behold. He gasped, his hand moving faster and faster. His face turned red, and the muscles in his neck tightened. With a moan, a spurt of cum shot out of his dick. I brought my mouth close and caught it all, wrapping my lips around his glans. He leaned forward, his left hand stabilizing himself on my shoulder as more and more of his cum poured into my mouth. His cock pulsed as the delicious salty taste spread across my tongue. I stayed still, neither swallowing nor letting him go. I just enjoyed the moment.

My dick ached in my pants, and I couldn't help but want to cum like that, too. I fumbled with my zipper, and my cock popped out. I wrapped my fingers around it, and it only took thirty seconds for my legs to flail. My moans were muffled thanks to my mouth still being stuffed. I arched my back so that there was room for my cum to land on my stomach while still keeping Jason in me. Five full spurts shot out of me.

I finally let go of Jason's dick and leaned back, panting. "That was hot."

Another scratching sound swept through the room, followed by Jason's moans coming from the ceiling. Our mouths fell open as we listened to them repeat over and over until it ended with a recording of me saying, "That was hot."

"This is so wild," Jason laughed, followed by a recording of his words echoing back at us. "This is so wild." He shook his head and knelt in front of me. "We better cover all the bases."

He opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and leaned down to lick the cum off my stomach. My dick throbbed again and squeezed out another drop as he cleaned me up like that. He took my cock out of my hand, licked the drop away, and swallowed it all.

He looked at the ceiling for two seconds. "Did it work?"

We held our breath, but even after fifteen seconds, no sound echoed back to us.

Our eyes met, and he curled his lips. "I guess it worked! Who knew cum was the perfect ghost-repellant? I guess now we know what to do for the rest of our stay."

"Yeah, and at home. I mean, let's not forget, there's a good chance the hotel is haunted, too."

"You mean we only had no problems because we couldn't keep our hands off each other?"

"Oh, that's for sure." I leaned up and kissed him. At least now we knew that as long as we were together, nothing would ever haunt us again—except maybe ourselves.