Chapter 6

My laughterimmediately fades when I see the emotion in his eyes. Roman isn’t an emotional guy, so seeing him tear up makes the breath catch in my lungs.

I cup his face in my hands and place a kiss on the tip of his nose. “You good?”

Clearing his throat, he shakes his head, and lifts me off the counter, gently setting me down on my feet.

“I assume you’re not on the pill,” he says gruffly, zipping his pants back up. He keeps his eyes averted like he’s intentionally trying not to look at me.

In a bit of a daze, I find my panties, and my sweats and pull them back on. “Up until a few weeks ago, there wasn’t really any need.”

And why spend the money on birth control, when sex wasn’t even on the horizon? Obviously, now, that seems like a dumb thought. But when I first walked onto campus, I wasn’t even thinking about guys, let alone birth control.

“We should get you on something,” he says, finally glancing up at me.

“I…don’t have a doctor here.” I shrug. “But I can check with the health office. I’m sure they can help me figure something out.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you the name of our family doctor. Anything you need, he can bill to me.”

This is so weird, talking about birth control like it’s a business transaction, especially after the deeply intimate things we just did with each other. The stark contrast between five minutes ago and now is wild.

And it’s not bad, necessarily. But there’s a heaviness now, an intensity that wasn’t there a few minutes ago. Like there’s a charged energy between us, buzzing just beneath the surface.

“Perfect,” I say under my breath. “Listen, um, is everything okay?”

He shrugs and walks out into the bedroom. “Sure, why?”

I follow him, hands on my hips. “I don’t know, it just feels like something has shifted between us all of a sudden.”

He grabs his keys and phone and shoves them into his pocket. “You’re imagining things.” He leans over and presses a kiss on my forehead. “Listen, I’ve got to run some errands. Food is on the table. I’ll be back in a bit.”

And before I can even ask him where he’s going, he’s out the door. What the actual fuck? It’s like he was spooked by what happened in the bathroom and couldn’t wait to get as far away from me as possible.

Pushing out a breath, I grab my phone and text Wyn.

U still here?

Her reply comes immediately.

Yup. What’s up?

I type out my response.

Feel like going on a field trip?

Again, she replies instantly.

Sure, is Roman done murdering your vagina? The whole house can hear you guys btw.

Ugh. I wince. That’s mortifying. I guess it’s true, though, Roman and I aren’t exactly quiet. When his cock is inside me, volume is the absolute last thing I’m worried about.

I throw some actual clothes on, put on some deodorant, and brush my hair. Then tossing my phone into my purse, I head downstairs to the living room. When I walk in, all eyes are on me, as usual, but this time, they linger on me a little longer than usual. Knowing they heard everything makes my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

You’re the queen now,I remind myself. And queens don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks.

Wyn is sitting on the couch, staring down at her phone. I walk over and touch her on the shoulder.

She looks up. “Oh, hey. Ready?”

“Yup, let’s go.”

I meet every single person’s stare as we leave, my gaze sweeping the room with a confidence I don’t feel. Not yet. After a lifetime in the shadows, I have a feeling it’ll take time for me to get comfortable with the role of campus queen.

Wyn and I get into her car. “Where to?”

I lean back and sigh. “I want to see the spot Bree was found. Do you know where it is?”

“The whole damn town knows.”

I nod, anxiety pulling tight in my chest. I don’t know if I’m ready for this, but if I’m going to find out who killed my best friend, then I don’t have a second to lose.

“Great,” I say past the lump in my throat. “Let’s go.”

The beach where Bree was found is only a few minutes away. We park, and Wyn leads me to a spot on the sand that’s marked by an orange landscaping flag and a small bouquet of purple and blue flowers that are just starting to wilt. I stare down the spot, blinking back the tears.

“Is this the exact spot?” I ask.

Wyn shrugs. “Yeah, I think so. It’s a little weird that the police didn’t take the flag down. Or…maybe someone else put it there as a memorial?”

Bree’s parents were here. I’m sure that’s where the flowers are from. Purple and blue are Bree’s favorite colors, and no one would really know that except them. Guilt swamps me all over again. I should have gotten my shit together enough to see them, talk to them, and provide what little comfort I could. Bree and I had been friends since we were kids, and I owed her family that much, at least.

Sinking down, I crouch and run my hand along the sand. I imagine her body lying here, alone, for God knows how long. The razor-sharp talons of grief sink into my heart, forcing my chest to constrict, and suddenly, I’m finding it very hard to breathe.

The weight of Wyn’s hand rests on my shoulder. “You can’t go back in time and prevent what happened,” she says. “But you can find out who did this to her, and bring him to justice.”

I take a fistful of sand in my palm, then open my hand slowly, and watch as the grains slip through my fingers. Someone just came along and stole Bree’s life; just snatched it away, and then discarded her. Who does that? What kind of monster is capable of doing something like that?

I glance down at the flowers and anger rises up inside me, fusing with the murky drudge of grief to form something….dark. “Justice,” I repeat. “There’s no true justice for this kind of thing. But revenge….now that, I could get behind.”

There’s only silence from Wyn, and I can’t really blame her. How does one reply to a statement like that?

She offers me her hand. “Come on, let’s go. This place isn’t good for you.”

I stand up slowly, using my jeans to dust the sand off my hands. The ocean is a deep blue today, the shade matching almost perfectly with the bright cloudless sky. A sailboat in the distance is the only evidence that the ocean and the sky aren’t just one, beautiful, churning abyss.

Taking in a deep breath, I pull the briny air into my lungs and shove my grief deep, deep down. I’ve gotten good at doing that lately, shoving my emotions down into the windowless basement of my soul. Dr. Cunningham might call that progress, but I know it’s really just avoidance. Avoidance is better than completely losing my shit, though, so it is what it is.

“Yeah,” I say finally. “Let’s go. I’ve seen what I came here to see.”

As we slip into the car, Wyn turns to me. “So where to now?”

“You said earlier that someone connected with the Sacred Sons has a connection to the police force.”

She shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah, so?”

“I need to talk to that person.”

Wyn faces forward and shakes her head. “I don’t know, Lux. I support you finding out what happened to Bree, but involving people inside the circle? Yeah, that’s not a good idea.” She glances over at me. “Dig deep enough, and you’re going to uncover secrets that very powerful people want to keep buried.”

“Yeah,” I say with a smile. “That’s the idea.”

If I have to rip this entire fucking town apart to get to the truth about Bree, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.