Chapter 23

When I getto Wyn’s house, she’s waiting for me on the front step of the sorority house, arms crossed over her chest. Damn. She looks pissed. I knew she would be, but there was a small part of me that was hoping she’d understand.

Nathan pulls up in front, and I flash him a smile. “Thanks for dropping me off, Nathan.”

“You’re one of us now. We watch out for our own.”

With a smile, I open the car door and step out. Before I shut the door, Nathan says, “Someone will be by later to drop off your stuff.”

I smile again. “Okay, thanks.”

I really wish Roman hadn’t gotten me kicked out of my dorm room, because this going back and forth from Rush House is maddening. Every time something happens, I find myself couch surfing with no pajamas or makeup or anything. This time, it’s only for a couple of days, but still. It’s clear I need a space of my own.

Slamming the car door shut, I turn and head up to greet Wyn. “Hey, thanks for letting me crash with you.”

“What in God’s name were you thinking?” she asks, tapping her foot.

I release a sigh, and move past her, into the house. “I did what I needed to do. I don’t expect you to understand.”

Wyn closes the door and follows me inside. She blows out a breath of her own. “You’re right, I don’t,” she says harshly, but then she reaches out and pulls me into a hug. “But I’m glad you’re okay.”

Sinking against her, I wrap my arms around her and the tears start to gather behind my eyes. I pull back and sniff, blinking rapidly so the tears don’t fall. “I’m fine.”

Well, okay, fine is subjective. I’m alive and breathing, though, so there’s that.

Wyn’s gaze flicks over me like she’s skeptical of my nonchalance. The girl has great instincts. “Let’s go upstairs,” she says. “You can tell me all about it.”

As we make our way up to her room, I’m stopped by several of the sorority sisters who live in the house. “Oh, my God. Lux. Weren’t you just initiated into the society?”

Wow, word travels fast.

Another girl comes up behind the first. “Oh, shit. Yeah, Alex just said you were initiated. Congrats!”

Several other girls gather around, too, and I’m inundated with questions. Was the ceremony as bad as they say it is? Did I have to murder anyone? Is it true we have to drink blood? Tons of questions are flung my way.

“Hold up,” Wyn says, tugging me up the main staircase. “She’ll hold a press conference later. She needs to get some rest.”

Once upstairs, we dip into her room. Thankfully, her roommate isn’t here, so we get the small bedroom to ourselves. She clears the clothes off her bed to make room for me to sit.

She sits on the bed next to me. “Are you feeling okay?”

I know she’s referring to the maybe-pregnancy. “I feel exactly the same,” I say, inwardly hoping that means I’m not actually pregnant.

Wyn leans back on her palms. “So tell me, what happened?”

I groan and lean back on her mountain of pillows. “It was the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Yeah, I mean, what did you expect? I tried to warn you.”

“What was your initiation like?”

She can tell me now because I’m a fully-fledged member. At least, I assume she can. Despite what Jackson, Christian, and Lucas think, I didn’t actually read the entire book of bylaws.

Wyn lets her head fall back, her long wavy hair dangling as she stares up at the ceiling. “It was brutal,” she says. “I walked away with welts that didn’t fade for weeks.”

I nod, absorbing that. “Did you have to….?” The words are caught in my throat, but when Wyn looks up and fixes me with a questioning stare, I clear my throat and continue, “Did you have to have sex with anyone? Or I don’t know, give anyone a blowjob?”

“Yup,” she says easily. “All the girls do.”

My heart comes to a screeching halt behind my ribs. “Who was the guy? Was it one of the Sons?”

Please don’t say, Roman. I don’t think I could cope with the idea that he’d fucked one of my friends. Even if it was before I met him.

“No idea who it was. And I did hear his voice, but it was muffled behind the mask.” She shrugs. “I’m glad I don’t know, though. I think that would be too weird.”

This whole thing is weird, but I don’t say that.

“I’m just wondering how they’ve gotten away with this for…how many generations?” I ask, wondering out loud.

Wyn looks confused. “Gotten away with what?”

“The ritual. It’s archaic, and borderline assault.”

She sits up and pins me with a withering stare. “It’s all consensual, Lux. No one is being forced to do anything.”

“Okay, well, that’s debatable.”

“Did they tell you that you could walk out at any point?” she asks pointedly.

“Yeah.”

“Did they hold a gun to your head?”

“No.”

She lifts her hands, like there you go.

“Just because they didn’t force me, doesn’t mean what happened in that room was okay,” I say.

“It’s a secret society, Lux. What do you want the initiation ritual to be? Singing kumbaya around a campfire, and braiding each other’s hair? You can’t test people’s loyalty that way.”

Good God, I’ve managed to offend her by questioning the society”s methods. I have to remember that not everyone sees this strange community the same way I do. My mom was lured into a cult so that obviously colors my view on these kinds of things. And even as a kid, I wondered why she never questioned their strange philosophy, or why none of their strict edicts threw up any red flags for her.

In the end, I just blow out a breath and concede. I don’t want Wyn to know I’m not a serious member. Much as I trust her, I can’t risk anyone getting suspicious of my motives.

“Yeah, fair point. Sorry,” I say. “I don’t mean to be critical. I’ve never really been a part of this kind of thing before.”

Wyn shrugs. “You’ll get used to it.”

I reach over and grab Wyn’s hand. “Thank you for letting me stay here. You’re a really good friend.”

That seems to dissolve her annoyance, because she smiles, and places her hand over mine. “Of course. I wasn’t going to leave you at Rush House with those brutes. And anyway, my roommate is up in San Jose this week for some kind of family thing, so it worked out. She said it’s cool if you use her bed. I’ll get you some fresh sheets in a bit.”

“You’re the best,” I say. “But you know what I could really use? A shower.”

I won’t have any of my clothes until someone brings them over, but I’m itching to get under a hot stream of water.

“Oh, yeah, no problem.” She pops up off the bed. “I have some freshly washed pajamas in the dryer you can borrow. I’ll just grab them real quick.”

“Thanks,” I say with a with a tight smile.

When she leaves my thoughts drift to Roman. I’m worried about him. First the shit with his brother, and then the betrayal of my initiation. I knew it would hit him hard, but damn. His reaction was even worse than I expected, and part of me wonders if he’ll ever forgive me for going behind his back…