Chapter 20

The pure,undiluted rage I feel is so strong, I can’t fucking see straight.

I was only forty-five minutes away when I received the text from Lucas, saying they intended to go through with Lux’s initiation. He apologized and gave some bullshit reason, citing some kind of loophole, but I don’t fucking know, because I didn’t even read that far.

The second I received that text, I turned around, and that forty-five-minute drive became a twenty-five-minute drive. It’s a miracle I wasn’t pulled over by Highway Patrol.

And the entire way, all I could think about was this exact fucking scenario—Lux on her knees, sucking another man off, or getting fucked. It fueled my rage, and I pictured all the different ways I would fucking kill the guys I call my brothers.

“What the fuck?” I yell, storming into the room. It’s against the bylaws to enter the ceremony room without my robes but fuck that. Fuck all of this shit.

I storm over to Lux, my fury building with each step, because every inch of her luscious body is on full display, for everyone in this room to see. She watches me as I approach, fear etched on her beautiful face. Good. She should be afraid. They should all be fucking afraid.

“What the actual fuck is going on?” I reach down, and curl my fingers around her elbow, yanking her off her knees roughly. With my free hand, I knock Lucas’ mask off and grab him by the collar. “What the fuck is this, Lucas?”

No one is talking. No one is saying anything. Everyone stands in stunned silence, shifting nervously, looking around like they’re not sure what to do.

Even Lucas, who is usually so self-fucking-assured, hesitates. He grabs my hand and tries to pry it off his collar, but I’ve got a death grip on the mother-fucker. “Roman, dude, chill. We can talk about this.”

I turn around and motion to the person delegated as the ceremony attendant. “Get her robe. Now!”

The person—probably Ashley, because she’s the most senior female member—rushes to grab Lux’s robe, and throws it over her. I let go of Lux only long enough for her to thread her arms through the sleeves. The second I release her, though, she sways a little, and fuck, but my anger rises another ten notches if that’s even fucking possible.

My grip is still tight on Lucas’ collar, and I shove him up against the wall, dragging Lux along with us. “What did you give her, Lucas?”

“We gave her what we give everyone, Roman. Damn. Calm the fuck down,” Lucas says a little too calmly.

What we give everyone is a mix of alcohol and Xanax, to calm the initiate down. Not enough to incapacitate them, or make them unaware, but still.

“Fuck!” I yell, shoving him hard. “She’s fucking pregnant, you cunt!”

A collective gasp ripples through the room, and shock crosses over Lucas’ face. Fuck him. Fuck everyone, including Lux, for doing this behind my back.

“Roman, I’m sorry, dude. She came to us, and she didn’t tell us anything about that.” He swallows, but I can tell he’s ready for a fight if I give him one.

I shove Lucas hard, releasing him. “I’ll deal with you later.” Then I turn to face Lux, who is looking up at me, her entire body trembling. “Is that true? Did you ask for this?” My hand is still curled around her arm, and I pull her closer. “Is this what you wanted?” I can’t keep the hatred out of my voice, even if I wanted to.

She opens her mouth to say something, but no sound emerges. Because, honestly, what can she say? How can she possibly defend this? She can’t, and she’s smart enough to know that.

But, fuck, the betrayal of seeing her on her knees, ready to suck my best friend’s dick is more than I can even comprehend. I pull her over to the table roughly. I take her chin in my hand, squeezing until I see her beautiful face twist in pain. “You want to be a whore for the Burning Crown?” I say harshly.

She shakes her head, but the movement is restricted by my grip. She still says nothing, though. There’s no effort to explain or defend her actions.

I release her with a shove and move to undo my pants. “You want to be initiated? I’ll fucking initiate you. Right here. Right now.”

A low rumble ripples through the room as people realize what’s about to happen. A few members move to leave the room, but I turn on them. I need ten senior members present as witnesses. Any less than that, and the initiation isn’t valid. “Everyone stays,” I grate out. “Leave this fucking room, and you’ll answer to me.”

That seems to quiet everyone, and I turn back to Lux. While my attention was diverted, she reached behind her to grip the table for support, her gaze darting around the room like she’s suddenly embarrassed. “Oh, now you’re worried about everyone looking?” I say through gritted teeth. “Now you’re worried about your fucking modesty?”

Gripping her arm again, I spin her around, so her front is pressed against the waist-high table. Then I grip a fistful of her silky chestnut hair, pulling until her head arches back. I dip my head and whisper directly in her ear, “You can’t pledge your loyalty to the Burning Crown, because it already belongs to me.”

She whimpers a little, probably because my grip on her hair is tight, but it’s what she deserves. Pain. Punishment. My cock deep in her ass.

“I’m s-sorry, Roman,” she stutters, her voice thick with emotion. “Let’s talk about this.”

Is that fear in her voice? Guilt? Regret? I don’t know, and I don’t fucking care. She needs to be put back in her place.

I release her hair, I hold my hand out. “Rope!”

The person with the rope scurries forward and places it in my outstretched hand. Whoever it is, looks afraid behind their mask, as they should. I’m going to find each and every person in this room and educate them personally on the consequences of setting eyes on my fucking woman.

Lux is still turned away from me. “Hands behind your back,” I say coldly. She has a thing about being restrained because of what happened last year, but she needs to know who is in control.

A sob escapes her throat, and she turns her head to look at me. “Roman, please. Don’t do this.” There’s a desperation in her eyes that I haven’t seen before. She’s truly afraid, and I don’t even stop to ask myself why that makes me want to fuck her harder.

“Hands. Behind. Your. Back.”

There’s a moment of silence. She doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything, and I know she’s warring with herself, whether or not she should do it.

“You want to serve the society,” I say angrily. “Then you’ll do what the society asks of you. I am a Sacred Son, and I am commanding you to give me your hands.”

She places her hands behind her back slowly, hesitantly. I grab her wrists with one hand and wrap the rope around them, tying her wrists in the complex knot I’d been taught to make. Her head is bowed, and I know she’s crying. But any compassion I had for her vanished when I saw her kneeling in front of my best friend, ready to suck his cock.

With that image fresh in my mind, I reach for the hem of her robe and yank it up, exposing the smooth globes of her luscious ass. I brush my free hand over her silky skin, then up, to the small of her back, applying pressure, so she’ll bend over the table.

I extend my hand, palm up, addressing the circle. “Paddle.”

Someone approaches and puts it in my hand. “W-we’ve already done the paddle—” The person says—Brian, maybe. It’s hard to identify voices with the masks on.

Maybe-Brian moves back to his place in the circle, and I grip the handle, tossing it to feel the weight of it in my hand. There are definite welts on her ass from where Brian or someone paddled her bare ass. “Ah, yes, I see someone has touched you already. They’ll pay for that.” I tap her ass cheek gently with the paddle. “But maybe we should do it again…just to make sure there’s no unfair bias and I don’t go easy on you. That’s what you want, right? Fairness?”

Her face is in her hands, but she says nothing. Smart girl. I move her hands aside, so I have unobstructed access to her ass.

“This paddle,” I say slowly, reciting the words from memory. “Represents the adversity you will endure in defense of the society.”

Drawing in a breath, I bring the paddle down hard on her ass. Her entire body jolts forward, and she cries out wordlessly. I reel back, waiting for her to call this off. She doesn’t though, so I bring another blow down on her glorious ass. Another yelp, this time a little more muffled, like she’s trying to keep it contained.

I don’t know why that makes me even more angry, but it does. Her head is turned to the side, and I grab her chin, pulling it up awkwardly, so she’s looking at me looking at me from the corner of her tear-filled eye.

“Ready to stop?” I ask.

But even through the tears, I see the defiance in her eyes, andfuck if that doesn’t make my heart beat just a little bit faster…