Chapter 3

3

Percy

I really need to find a new bulk order delivery service. We're always running out of flour faster than it can arrive. And the grocery store is… nice. But I pay way too much for the amount we use. Next time, I'll double-order if I can afford it. The money comes in, and the money rolls out. Trust me—the emphasis is on the out these days.

I've been thinking a lot about what Tammy Sue said about making the bakery my own. I would love to add some of my favorite desserts, but I'm afraid that people would find them bougie. Would I just be rushing the inevitable end that I'm so afraid I'm hurtling towards if I change things up?

I'm just so fucking tired. And horny. I'm tired and fucking horny. It was a deadly combination.

I haven't had an actual night of sleep since the moment I signed the papers to take over the ownership of the family business. Can a person function on three hours of fitful sleep spread out over seven hours every night? I'm doomed. I have dark circles under my eyes, and I'm quick to anger because I'm seriously twisted up these days. I knew it was going to be hard, but this was harder than I expected.

Cupcakes. My business survives on cupcakes, special occasions, and large cookie orders. This is not what I hoped for—not what I wanted—but this is what I should have known. It was the way the business had survived for decades. What did I expect? I knew what it was and what I had signed up for. I just wanted more.

"Are you going to put that in your cart, or are you going to continue throttling it to death?" Tim Wallis's smooth, mellow voice washed over me, and I smiled as I turned to find him holding a small basket filled with sugary cereal boxes.

"I could also throw it and knock down that stack of canned goods if you'd prefer." I smiled back at him. Jesus, he looked great with that military haircut and bulging biceps.

"Oh, are we angry? We could turn it into a game."

"I live in angst these days, and are there prizes?"

"Just stuffed animals," he chuckled. "It's good to see you again. I think we're starting to make some strange habit of running into each other at the grocery store."

"Last time, I think you were buying coffee, and this time, it seems you have a very large craving for sugared cereal. Honestly, you should just come into the bakery. That stuff is nothing but preservatives."

"Kids. It's all they'll eat. Ever since the split, it's like they're punishing us by being on a sugar rush twenty-four-seven."

"Sure…" I shrugged. I never knew what to say when people shared their difficulties.

"I'm serious. This is… well, mainly not for me—I mean, maybe a box or two... but it's really for the kids."

"How old are they?"

He sighed heavily. "Six and seven, and they totally suck right now."

"Didn't we all at that age? We started to figure out the social hierarchy and begin dividing into groups. Kids are mean. I remember that age like a chapter out of Lord of the Flies."

"Yep. I don't think I ever realized just how mean we all were until I started watching my own children become savages. Did they actually eat Piggy in that book?" He smirked.

"You'll have to actually read it to find out. I'm sure you used Cliff's Notes."

"Guilty. And they're both boys, so…"

"You're totally screwed?"

He blushed and glanced down. "Well… Screwed isn't always a… It could be a good thing, I guess."

"Divorce? Oh, I'm sure it is."

"No, I meant being single. I feel like I really missed out on a lot, and… I mean, who knows what I might have become or even who, right? Maybe being screwed sounds like a whole lot more fun than being stuck."

"I… uh…" I literally froze in place. Was he actually flirting?

"You're blushing." His smile brought me back, and I ran my fingers through my red hair. I really needed to go get a haircut.

"Sorry, I… was just… uh…"

"It's cute. Like I said… It will be fun to figure out who I am now. I think people might be surprised. Maybe I'll even surprise you." He winked again and I gulped.

"How about surprising yourself?" I hugged the bag of flour.

"Oh, I've been doing that every day since we..." He frowned and crossed his arms. "It's… like this incredibly foreign world I'm living in, you know? I was… I mean, I wasn't unhappy in high school. And I don't mean all the popular bullshit. I mean, like I was genuinely happy with life – with the… whatever was possible, you know? Then, somewhere in college, it all went sideways, and I didn't even know it." He switched the basket to his other hand.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if she had gone to the college that she had originally wanted to go to, and I had stayed where I was—if we had let each other be our own authentic selves instead of trying to shoehorn each other into our existence… I mean, we never really wanted the same things in life—definitely not the same futures. Who knows? We forced ourselves together instead of letting fate do its thing. Fear? Maybe?" He shrugged, and for a second, the look that crossed his face told me how much pain he was actually in.

"That's… heavy, I guess. You were always better than most of your friends," I shrugged, feeling a little guilty for even saying it out loud. "But Pam was a monster."

He chuckled. "She got much worse. If you see her, run."

"Noted."

"So, I was better than the rest of the assholes in high school, but I was still an ass myself? You don't really need to answer that. I know the truth." He frowned.

"You… It always felt like you tried to be a nice guy."

"Well, I wasn't Ben, at least. He may have been the most popular of all the jocks, but he even treated us like shit when he was in one of his moods. But I always thought that underneath all that fear and anger, there was a cool guy just wanting to burst out. For the most part, he was a good friend to me. But… he was something else when he wanted to be."

"He was a dick."

"Yeah, I guess… sometimes. I remember when you were very tight friends, though. It's odd, huh? You and I had the same experience, but…"

"Completely different experiences? Trust me, you and I may have grown up here, gone to the same high school, and even graduated at the same time—but there was nothing similar in what we went through."

"I know that. I meant… It still connects us in some way, right? Right now, I'm totally trying to get the courage to see if you want to go have dinner sometime. Maybe we can finally get an actual chance to catch up without a shopping cart between us filled with sugary goodness? It could be fun."

"I'm pretty…" I thought about how Tammy Sue would smack my ass if I finished that thought. I needed to let my roots actually grow here in my new/old life. "Sure. That sounds great. Besides, I know we should still talk about the stupid offer to buy our places."

"Yeah… I thought about it. I mean, I'm not super invested in the place, you know? I like being a coach and a gym teacher, so… The business is nice to still have, and it does bring some money in, but… I pay someone to run it. I pay someone to keep the books and do the accounting because I never wanted to do it. But when they tried to buy it… I knew I couldn't sell."

"Tammy Sue said that the Dress Barn already signed the offer."

"Did she? Hmm… I'd be surprised by that, actually." He narrowed his eyebrows as he thought about it.

"I'm not against growth or change or anything like that. I think it's usually a good thing for any town, but… If things that have been here and are still a viable part of the community have to die for the growth to happen, then that doesn't seem healthy, right?"

He reached over and put his hand on my shoulder. It was warm and comforting. "You made that so clinical."

"You should see what I do to a date." I huffed.

"Oh, yeah, our date," he said slowly.

"Oh, I… uh…"

"Dinner, right? What night?"

"I'm… God, I don't know."

"Fridays are bad for me right now, but I could make the… Well, every other weekend, too, would be kind of hard since I have the kids then."

"I'm… I didn't mean that…" I stammered, feeling like an idiot.

"You didn't. That's too bad." He smiled. "I think I did. Give me your phone."

I handed it over to him, and he punched his number before sending himself a text.

"Got yours now. I really am glad that you moved back to town."

"I guess we're all filled with surprises." I almost walked out of the store without paying. Did Tim really ask me out on a date? What did any of that even mean? Was he… No… He was married and had kids and… I could not be a daddy right now. Who would have time for that?

I was putting the cart before the horse, and that had always been my problem.

I did have a little extra pep in my step for the rest of the day.